Who can write down all the classic quotations in ipartment? Thank you.

1. "Eat sesame seeds and beer covers, eat wonton and moth balls, shoot flies and nail nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and the mobile phone can't be taken out when it falls into the merit box."

2. "A BMW is coming to you at a speed of 280 yards, followed by a Mercedes, and so on, followed by a tractor, so much the better, with a left lane change light. He wants to overtake! "

3. "I'm Chen Yuanyuan, and you? (aiming at the chest) Chen Bianbian! "

4. "We split it 50/50. Say it first. okay. Who is five? "

"Be quiet like a virgin and move like a raving rabbit."

6. Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental

7. Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear;

Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and strong, and your skin is impeccable.

8. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

9. I will spray you to death with a bite of salt and soda.

10. Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.

1 1. Bus master: "Hey, either put money in, swipe your card, or roll out. What are you looking at?"

Bus master: "it's really ~ you can't even afford to take a bus, and you dare to pretend to be the mother."

12. Your mother must have thrown someone away and raised the placenta when she gave birth to you.

13. It's not necessarily the prince who rides the white horse, but also the Tang Priest …

It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but also a panda …

Those who have tattoos are not necessarily bad people, but those who are willing to be Yue Fei ~

It is not necessarily a big bird that can fly, but Li Ning.

14. Never hang yourself from a tree. Try to hang yourself several times on several surrounding trees. ....

15. I am a born actor. When I was a child, I saw beautiful MM with round eyes.

16. Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague A Zhi.

Passerby: But I didn't tell him.

Passerby: I told my colleague Hao.

Passerby: Hao promised not to tell anyone.

Passerby: But my colleague Ade told me.

Passerby: A Hao secretly told another colleague, Alin.

Passerby: Alin is familiar with Archie's ex-girlfriend Allen again.

Passerby: I'm afraid Alin will tell Allen.

Passerby: Then Allen went back and told A Zhi.

Passerby: Then I'm embarrassed.

Passerby: Fortunately, Allen is in love with Ade now.

Passerby: So I went to Ade to help me solve this problem.

Passerby: Ed told me that Allen and he had broken up.

Passerby: He is dating Alin now. Let me find Arlene.

Passerby: But Alin told me that A Hao actually said nothing to him.

Passerby: Now I'm dizzy. Who should I trust?

Ceng Xiaoxian: A Ou.

Passerby: I'm talking about A Zhi, not Ou. He is my colleague from another department.

Passerby: A Ou is Alin's younger brother.

Passerby: But I can't tell him that the person I like is the ex-boyfriend of your brother's girlfriend.

Passerby: This will make the relationship more chaotic.

Ceng Xiaoxian: Aqiao.

Passerby: t?

Passerby: How do you know that there is another colleague named T in our company?

Passerby: He bears a grudge against Alin, probably because he has a crush on Allen.

Passerby: But T and A Hao have a good relationship.

17. Guangu: Honey, what shall we eat today?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: Shall we eat hot pot?

Xiaoxue: No, you will get pimples on your face if you eat hot pot.

Guangu: How about Sichuan food?

Xiaoxue: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday. What about today?

Guangu: Shall we eat seafood?

Xiaoxue: The seafood is not good, and it will cause diarrhea.

Guangu: What did you say you wanted to eat?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guan Gu: E! ~ ~ ~ Then let's stop eating and do something else.

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's watch a movie. I haven't seen a movie for a long time.

Xiaoxue: What's interesting about movies? This is a delay.

Guangu: How about bowling? Exercise. Exercise.

Xiaoxue: What's your luck on a hot day? Aren't you tired?

Guan Gu: O! ~ ~ ~ ~ Then let's have some more coffee.

Xiaoxue: Eh ~ ~ ~ Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's go home.

Xiaoxue: (smiling, then taking the bag) Look at you.

Guangu: We'll take the bus and I'll walk you.

Xiaoxue: The bus is dirty and crowded. Forget it.

Guangu: How about taking a taxi?

Xiaoxue: It's not cost-effective to walk such a short distance.

Guangu: Let's go. Let's go for a walk.

Xiaoxue: What way are you going with an empty stomach?

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Look at you.

Guangu: Let's eat first.

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: What to eat?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: ~! # #

18. "They are separated by a wall, and they have never met. Because one of them always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator. "

19. "Hello, I want a rapeseed popcorn."

20. Hu Yifei: "Forgive him? Hum, it is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send her to see God! "

2 1. Guangu: "The telephone number of the hotel is 8 digits. Just now you pressed 1 1 digit. "

Zi Qiao: "In China, any telephone call must be preceded by 1 10."

......

Policeman: (knocking at the door) "Who called the police, please?"

Guangu: "I ordered takeout."

22. Wan Yu: "The hair is gone, and dandruff is more prominent!"

Wan Yu: "In a finger that can't see the night ..."

23. Yifei: When your mother gave birth to you, didn't she? You throw away the placenta and raise it.

24. The broken price is only 998!

I really want to slap my size 37 shoes in your size 42 face!

25. Hu Yifei: Hey, how was the interview in Wan Yu?

Lin Wanyu: It went well!

Lu: Does the examiner like you? What's his attitude towards you?

Lin Wanyu: Well, I don't know. It feels like I'm holding them back.

Hu Yifei: I told you, beauty is invincible. How did you do that?

Lin Wanyu: They asked me what my dream was, and I said I wanted to own a small house.

Lu: Wow, what a shocking ideal!

Lin Wanyu: Maybe my house is different from others'. My ideal house has almond slices on the roof.

The chimney is a roast pork roll, the bed is a jujube cake, the pillows are crystal shrimp dumplings, and the raisins are raining.

There are lollipops when it snows, soup buns can be seen everywhere outside the house, and the river is full of preserved eggs and lean porridge.

The swimming sky in the river has matured. With a snort, they will automatically line up and jump into my mouth. sky

The cloud is cotton candy, and the stone on the ground is braised pork.

26. Hu Yifei: Doing the constellation test again.

Lin Wanyu: This is a resume.

Hu Yifei: Obviously, I am doing the problem.

Lin Wanyu: It's called a personality test. I have submitted resumes to many companies, and I have to do a set of test questions before the interview.

Lu: This is very popular in foreign companies. It is said that you can test a person's inner character to see if it meets that position.

Hu Yifei: Foreigners are really troublesome. Does personality have much to do with position?

Lu: Of course it does. Now everything can be faked, certificates can be faked, and degrees can also be faked, but

Character can't be faked.

Lin Wanyu: But some questions are very strange.

Lu: Yes, these questions are all from psychologists. At first glance, you will find them strange, but they can really reflect them.

It is very learned to show your outlook on life and values.

Lin Wanyu: Look at this question and tell the similarities between mosquitoes and tigers.

Lu: It depends on your way of thinking, whether it is concrete or abstract.

Lin Wanyu: What about this question: If your father fights with Jay Chou, who will you help? Help your father; Help Zhou Jie.

Lunc watched them fight; Call the TV station.

Lu: Well, it means that the boss of their company's human resources department is a fan of Jay Chou, and his father was beaten.

Yes

Lin Wanyu: Have you ever encountered such a disgusting topic when looking for a job?

Lu: Yes, there is such a question: You have two pairs of underwear, one is dirty and the other is wet. you

Which one to wear?

Hu Yifei: Is this a question of testing your values?

Lin Wanyu: That's disgusting. I despise you for whatever you wear!

Lu: Well, I have no choice. I'm not wearing it. That's cool! Hehehehehe ~ ~ ~

Lin Wanyu: Hehehe ~ ~ I despise you.

Ceng Xiaoxian: Look at me today.

Lin Wanyu: Very handsome!

Hu Yifei: Well, that's good. Looks like a person.

Ceng Xiaoxian: This may be a turning point in my life.

Lu: You also went to the interview!

Ceng Xiaoxian: Almost. I heard through the grapevine that a new TV program is looking for a host. I grew up again.

According to news reports, the producer of this column is Lisa Rong lisa. Think about it, I finally have a chance to step into TV.

Circle!

Hu Yifei: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Have you become a TV host?

Ceng Xiaoxian: Of course not. According to the latest gossip, Lisa Rong lisa will come to our radio station to find the host. This is one of them.

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, maybe she will be the one who changes my life.

Lin Wanyu: Let me ask you a question, Ceng Laoshi. If your father and Lisa Rong lisa got into a fight, who would you help?

Ceng Xiaoxian: …

27. Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the lover, so what about beauty?

Thank you: (thinking for a moment) chewing gum!

28. Fairy: I am not a casual person!

Yifei: You don't look human!

29. Fairy: I allow you to walk around in my world, but I will never allow you to run around in my world!

30. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!

3 1. Meijia: My period came early, and now my waist is very sore and my stomach is very uncomfortable.

Guangu: Meijia, your period is really good for you. Otherwise, she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today.

Wan Yu: Guangu, the period you mentioned is different from what she said.

Guangu: Oh, does Meijia have many menstrual periods? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three young aunts!