? Psychoanalysis of Zhu Chaoyang in The Hidden Corner

Another metaphor of Zhang Dongsheng is Zhu Chaoyang, who has a loving mother, Zhou Chunhong.

After the divorce, Zhou Chunhong tried her best to drag her son into her own hands and gave her all her love.

For the sake of her son, she insisted on not remarrying and could only report to her lover secretly.

She put all the focus of her life on her son and arranged his life in every detail. In the play, Zhou Chunhong forced his son to drink milk, which made people breathless.

She took the milk to her son and told him to finish it at once, on the grounds that he wanted to wash the cups. My son didn't want to drink it at first, but her eyes were so aggressive that people had to drink the glass of milk according to her idea.

My son said he couldn't drink. She said coldly, "I can't drink."

She did everything for her children, but never paid attention to their inner feelings and needs.

She is very controlling and only wants her son to do what he expects. If her son is not as good as her, she will lose control and become hysterical.

It is suffocating to have such a mother.

Zhou Chunhong's bottomless dedication is actually to control the child, make the child obedient, and satisfy her lack of security.

But this will only make children close their hearts, suppress their emotions, and become introverted and withdrawn, thus affecting their physical and mental health.

Her son Zhu Chaoyang, in her suffocating love, slowly became the second "Zhang Dongsheng".

If you work too hard emotionally, it will really ruin a person. A family therapist once said: when we give, we feel entitled; When we accept it, we will feel obligated.

In feelings, people who give blindly will feel that they have a clear conscience in the relationship and have requirements for others.

High salary means high pressure, and love without restraint and bottom line will make people suffocate. ?

No matter Zhang Dongsheng or Zhu Chaoyang's mother, they all have one thing in common: emotional overinvestment, no boundaries, suffocating love, and the result is tragedy.

Because the paying party will make many sacrifices, and sacrifice means injustice. They think each other should be grateful:

I did it for your own good!

I have sacrificed so much for you, and you owe me a lifetime!

You heartless bastard, when I did this for you ...

It is this kind of psychology that turns giving into taking. Moreover, the giver can get sympathy from others and naturally has a sense of moral superiority.

If the other party doesn't do what he expects, he will be wronged and angry, and feel that the other party is not a good thing.

The accepting party naturally wants to escape and resist in such a depressed environment.

However, the more the receiver evades resistance, the more aggrieved and angry the giver is, and the worse the situation is.

So this is an infinite loop.

Paying without a bottom line will only make people more and more humble. In family relationships, whether you pay too much for your children or your lover, you not only hurt others, but also hurt yourself.

In our consultation, we have encountered many cases of giving everything for love and finally returning disappointed.

Their love was unequal from the beginning. Many women, after falling in love and getting married, will "involuntarily" keep a low profile, give everything for love and sacrifice themselves for their families.

In the process of continuous efforts, they gradually become humble and become the weak side in their feelings. The weak side in feelings is precisely the one who is most worried about being abandoned.

Therefore, I dare not say anything, dare not give birth to anything, dare not ask anything, hold back when I am unhappy, be afraid of quarreling, and blindly cater to it because I am afraid that the other party will leave me.

This is a deformed dependence, and the misunderstanding of love will eventually become a love tragedy.

If you don't want to lose love, love yourself first and remember to be a better self. When you become a better self, you have the ability to love.

Summary: those abnormal and out-of-control love can be fatal ~ ~