How to chat with girls on a date to break the deadlock

I'm so tired. Take a closer look. Very helpful to you. I said it from a girl's point of view.

If you are the one who loves you, then he/she must love you even this. If he/she can't accept it, then you should reconsider a person who doesn't love you all, and the person who loves you will appreciate your silence.

If your date is a contact, try to find a place that is not suitable for talking loudly or not much, or where you don't need to talk much (such as singing K).

There is another trick: you try to bring out his topic and then make him say more (such as "What do you like?" Then after he answered, you said, "I'm not sure. Can you give me a detailed introduction? "

People who usually don't like talking don't really like talking, but don't like talking to people they don't know. When you walk around and relax, you will find that you can find a topic and talk about everything. . .

(Go on, go on below, and you will naturally say the same thing ...)

How to chat with people

Chatting should have a purpose and bring feelings closer. Chatting is mostly emotional communication or inner catharsis. But chatting also has ups and downs. Chatting with low-level people, full of complaints, full of complaints, will only make the listener sad, and the speaker will not achieve the purpose of emotional communication. People with depth can not only draw closer to each other, but also deepen their feelings in the process of chatting. First, chatting should have a purpose. With a certain purpose, you can ask questions in time and adjust the content of the chat at any time. Second, we should pay attention to choosing the right chat friends. Third, choose the right chat topic. 1. Some people misinterpret the topic of chatting and think that only those extraordinary things are worth talking about. In fact, people not only like to listen to some anecdotes, but also like to listen to many standard Chinese topics related to ordinary life. Another misinterpretation of the topic is that if you want to gain the respect of others, you must talk about some profound and learned topics, but it is difficult to find a confidant when talking about such unfamiliar topics. 2. Rules: If you want to deal with customers, you must first have the courage and ability to talk to anyone. As a scholar said, "If you can talk to anyone for 10 minutes and arouse their interest, you are the best communicator." As long as you have the heart to contact others, there are actually many topics. What a person sees, hears and feels is a great topic. 4. Can talk about ambition, social responsibility and philosophy of life; You can talk about work understanding, colleague relationship, friendship and love; You can talk about books, movies, TV and dramas, and give full play to your appreciation; We can talk about climate, entertainment, food, clothes, housing and transportation.

However, some words should be carefully avoided: don't pretend to be an expert in a job you don't know. ? Don't show off your achievements to strangers, such as personal achievements, your wealth, and your son's extraordinary intelligence. ? Don't talk about your partner's failures, flaws and privacy in public. ? Don't talk about controversial topics. ? Don't complain and grumble everywhere, it's not a good way to win sympathy. Sixth, it is best to choose a topic based on local materials, that is, to find a topic according to the environment at that time. 7. You can also ask the other person some topics he is familiar with, interested in and unfamiliar with. Eight, close to others and get along with others, there are three steps: find out what others are interested in? Accumulate some tool knowledge that the other party is interested in. ? Let him know that you are really interested in that thing. 9. Keep in touch if you don't have a chance to talk.

Ten, to make the chat fruitful, we must grasp the following factors: Understanding and * * * knowledge, the first factor is whether you can firmly establish * * * the same language, whether you can get the understanding of the other party, and whether you can produce * * * knowledge. ? To establish * * * similarity, we also need cooperation to find * * * similarity in the case of smooth communication, rather than emphasizing ideological differences. 1 First, let the chat warm up for the formal conversation. When the conversation begins, we might as well talk about the daily climate. In addition to your most considerate and interesting topics, you should reserve more materials for "chatting" with others. Have you ever played some jokes without catching a cold? A thrilling story? Health and medicine? Topics that family members don't understand. For example, early childhood education, shopping experience, how couples get along, socializing with relatives and friends, and family arrangements? Sports and entertainment. ? A sensational social news? Politics and religion (everyone's political views are close)? Jokes. If you conceive many jokes and can tell them, you are probably the most popular person. Fourth, it should be noted that when chatting, don't ask some challenging questions that you don't understand, so as not to cause heated arguments and break up in discord. Don't be self-righteous, speak in a didactic tone. 5. Let friendship start with a friendly chat? When talking, if you can get the other person to talk about the job he is interested in, it means that you have attracted the other person skillfully. At this time, ask and answer questions to entice the other person to talk about his personal habits, experiences, wishes, interests and other topics he doesn't understand. He who is good at deceiving others is a wise man. ? It is your responsibility to let the other person talk about the topic he cares about and ask such incomprehensible questions. For example, the current political situation, industrial situation, or the car he drives, the current traffic conditions, the road conditions of expressways, the current personal tax rate, food prices and so on. What a person wants to talk about most is also the most considerate topic, which is nothing more than all his personal work. Sixth, talk about your elegance. Knowing how to associate freely with people can expand your topic-how to chat with strangers and make our life colorful. On a hot day that year, the Tamsui Railway Station in Taiwan Province Province was extremely hot, but I stood on the platform of the station with a cold expression. As a result, a famous writer in Taiwan Province is about to arrive by train. I am the editor of the school magazine and was sent to meet him. The big shot finally arrived, and I was at a loss. I can't talk. It was a long time before I managed to say, "I write, too." He replied kindly, "Well, we have a lot to talk about."

But I was too scared to speak and felt that I had put my foot in my mouth. It's hard for you to open a strange mouth. Many people are afraid of meeting strangers. "I don't know how to speak" and "I don't know what to say" are common problems of ordinary people. For example, at the party, we can't think of anything interesting or meaningful to say; I tried to make a good impression in the job interview, but I was too nervous, so I stuttered. In fact, whenever we meet someone who looks interesting, we are in a state of anxiety and don't know how to speak. Unfamiliar = charming. Knowing how to meet people freely can expand our partner's circle and enrich our life. When talking about the past experience of traveling around the world as a reporter, a senior reporter said that talking with strangers is like opening a gift without knowing what's inside beforehand, which is full of surprises. Strangers are charming because we know nothing about them. He once met a nun in New Orleans. She looked gentle and cold. But it turns out that her job is to help rude young released prisoners turn over a new leaf. Behind these young prisoners, there are one or several extraordinary stories. Who would have thought that there are so many people whose hearts are rough and seemingly calm sea. Have her people been quiet all their lives? Or are your people quiet all their lives? Is her life colorful? Or is your life colorful? Divergence is the value. An old woman I met on the train in Canada said that she was going to a village in the Arctic Circle because she heard that polar bears could be seen walking in the streets there. And a taxi driver in the Valley of the Kings of Egypt entertained him for tea in his unpaved home, which made him realize a completely different lifestyle from ours. The so-called phobia of waiting for guests is a psychological manifestation of anxiety when waiting for guests. When selling products, we often have the opportunity to meet all kinds of people, some are relatives and friends, some are strangers. According to the book How to Be an Excellent Salesman written by the Chairman of Japan Management Association, if the product knowledge is insufficient, the decision-making belief is lacking, there are disputes or troubles, fatigue, anxiety, competitors or selling goods to busy shops and senior officials, it is easy to cause phobia. Therefore, we should be psychologically prepared: First, we should be good at "disfiguring". 2. Do well in advance 100% possibility of rejection. 3. Keep the decision-making belief of waiting for the interests of customers.

4. Understand the customer's thoughts with a relaxed expression. I thought I was going to do public relations for the company. 6. Think of it as a good opportunity to promote yourself. 7. Don't pester for too long and leave as soon as possible. Eighth, we must adhere to the view that the transaction has been successful. 9. Get ready for a second visit. 10. Come back with interest and consideration. If you are ready to get close to strangers, how can you break the deadlock and get rid of that invisible barrier? The following methods may be useful to you. First, state your feelings frankly: for example, you may whisper to yourself at a dinner party: I am too shy for this kind of party. Or on the contrary, you think people hate this kind of party, but I like it very much. Anyway, you should tell the first person who is willing to listen how you feel. This person may be your confidant. Frankly speaking "I don't know anyone here" or "I don't know what to say" is better than being blunt and indifferent-the person who can speak best is the one who dares to confess. I once chatted with a computer expert. I felt very comfortable with this greeting, but I was really surprised when I found myself tongue-tied. Finally I said, "I don't know why I'm a little afraid of you." He laughed after listening, and then everyone chatted naturally. 2. Talk about the surrounding environment: If you are curious, you will naturally find a topic you don't understand when chatting together. Once a stranger looked around and then broke the silence and said to me, "You can see all kinds of life at the waiting station!" " "This is a great prologue. 3. Take the other person as the topic: People often try their best to make others pay attention to themselves, but most of the "achievements" are disappointing. Because he won't understand you and me, he will only understand himself. Therefore, taking each other as the beginning of talking together can often make others feel good. Praise a stranger, "Your clothes match well" and "Your hairstyle is very fashionable". It can make him happy and ease their strangeness.

Perhaps, most of us don't have the courage to say so, but we can say, "The book you read is my favorite." Or "I saw you walking past that convenience store, and I thought …". 4. Ask some questions that we don't understand: We can think of this kind of conversation together as throwing and catching the ball. Many forgotten conversations start with a topic that we don't understand. People are often asked, "How is your daily work?" Everyone has a warm answer. For someone who is introverted and looks shy, you might as well ask more questions to help him continue the topic. 5, pay attention to listening: talking together for the benefit, half by listening, listening is an art, you can't really talk without listening. When talking to someone you just met, look at him, reflect on what he said and encourage him to continue. In this way, listening becomes an active action rather than a passive action, and it is constantly explored in depth. Effective communication-different from boring gossip, the purpose is to find and understand each other. Many people can't make a good impression on others, just because they can't concentrate on listening to each other and only think about what to say next. In fact, a good talker is also a patient listener. Therefore, if you want others to like you, being a patient listener and encouraging others to speak freely is the biggest secret. 6. If you find a stranger talking to you and his eyes are fixed on you, don't be shy and cringe. Try to digress from the topic of ideology, because such people are interested in abstract thinking. If you are weak in abstract thinking, you might as well ask questions that you don't understand in this respect and let him teach you, which will satisfy both sides. To sum up, you are curious about others, and others are curious about you. You can increase their life feelings, and they can also increase your life feelings. However, if only the other party speaks freely and is stingy with their own efforts, the purpose of two-way communication will not be achieved. Some people feel shy or tasteless and say, "We have nothing to talk about."

However, in fact, almost everyone has something interesting to share with others. People will be ashamed to express their opinions because they are different from others. However, it is precisely because of this difference that life can become a big stage. If we are honest with each other, we can have a useful conversation. We need the stimulation of a stranger-someone different from us, someone who is still a mystery for the time being. Besides, meeting strangers affects you to some extent. If you have contact with each other, you may become a part of your future life. Therefore, no matter where you go, you should face others with an excited expression and a sweet smile and talk with others sincerely. Don't be afraid to express your wrong feelings and don't hold grudges against others. Always think of happy things. Over time, you will find that your life is full of fun, and the distance with strangers will easily disappear. ...

What is the way to chat with women? Why do some men always talk and laugh with women, Kan Kan, while some men can't arouse each other's interest and don't even know what to say?

Yes, many men are saying that this department really needs strengthening. It has been observed that some people, although their innate conditions are not optimal, are more able to capture women's hearts through lofty and noble language skills. I believe you must have witnessed a similar scene.

The French philosopher Voltaire said, "Give me ten minutes, and I can convince any woman with this mouth alone. Of course, we can't identify the boasting identity in this sentence, but we can boldly speculate that a man's mouth seems to have unlimited potential.

The question I don't understand is, what are the qualities of the last man who can talk? Know astronomy above and geography below? Is it sweet talk, abduction and cajoling? Are you playing dumb and taking a funny route? Or simply be a "most loyal listener" and give comfort and encouragement anytime and anywhere?

What are the three basic abilities that a good speaker must possess? Listen. Ask questions? Tell a story

First of all, you should learn the ability of "listening". Women hate men who are talkative, self-expanding, interrupting others and only talking about themselves from beginning to end. Because in the eyes of women, this may be a sign of insecurity, or thinking, "What are you trying to prove?" 」

Women in the new era are very smart. They watch too much and listen too much. What you say and what you should kowtow to show what kind of person you are. Most of them are quite clear. After all, many women have long had their own set of rules to evaluate the authenticity of men.

Successful communication is a two-way street. Especially when a woman is willing to talk, you'd better listen carefully. A woman's willingness to talk to you doesn't necessarily mean that she likes you, but at least you have given her a preliminary "trust". When the attraction between men and women is based on the platform of trust, this relationship is stable.

Of course, one of the main purposes of listening is to collect information. You can know directly from a woman's mouth: what she longs for, hates, cares about, and her position and values at work. How? The key is to guide women to speak with open-ended questions.

For example, sometimes I will be very serious: "What do you think is the biggest challenge in your job?" Or "What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?" Or "I want to know what you think of life. What do you think people should pursue in life? 」

This is the ability to ask questions. You see, successful program hosts are experts who ask questions they don't understand. I know the above questions are serious at first glance, but if you can cut into them in a proper atmosphere, you will certainly achieve unexpected results.

In addition to collecting information, asking questions is also a key skill to create and continue topics. Many men worry that there is nothing to talk about. The solution is to coax "unknown topics" with sensitive observations to guide the direction of the conversation.

For example, when you see a girl student with a lovely bag in her hand, you can naturally point to it: "Where did you buy it?" When she replies that this is a trophy marked in an online auction, you can cut into the theme of "network", from auction fun to online romance.

On the other hand, I think what topic to talk about is second, and the real key lies in the "atmosphere". Many times I don't deliberately limit the topic, because I want to create a simple atmosphere, that is, to make female students feel comfortable and not oppressive when chatting with me.

But women want more than atmosphere. They hope to meet men who can inspire their thoughts. In other words, if you can immediately express your unique views on the work, or point out the subtle things that have not been detected, and describe them with a plot similar to "telling stories", you will make her throb like never before.

Face is a topic that can promote intimacy;

1.@ What do you do? Why do you like this job? What is the biggest challenge nearby? What is the biggest setback? What are your expectations for your job and future? )

2. What achievements have you made in your life so far? Any major setbacks? )

3. What do you love most? Why are you interested? )

4. @< recently > What was the most memorable happy event last year? (or something unlucky? )

5. How will you handle your work?

How do you like to spend your holiday?

7. Do you want to be famous? (for what)

8. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

9.@ How did you grow up in your family?

X @ What character strengths did you have when you were growing up? What are the disadvantages of fear? )

1 1. What kind of relationship do you want to develop?

12 Are you romantic? How romantic? )

13, what do you think is the difference between men and women?

14 @ What will make you happy?

15, @ What makes you sad?

1 6. @ When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

17, where do you think you are different from others?

1 8. Do you believe in God? What do you think of God? )

19. to what extent do you think your personal behavior has an impact on the transformation of social form?

20. What do you think is important in the current social situation? What steps would you take if possible? )

Some of the above topics seem to be excessively related to topics that people don't know, especially for people on a first date, but please remember that few people don't care about themselves. As long as they are rigid, they are willing to discuss topics they don't understand.

And there are three topics that can be used in any occasion: food, family and philosophy.

This is probably a custom in China. On the one hand, the protagonist of the first date should be a man and the woman should be more talented. On the one hand, men should take the initiative to ask questions they don't understand, which led to Tan Xing. Both sides should stop their long silence. When dating, the best topic is to make the atmosphere exciting. The content of chatting together should be broad and popular, and the questions should be short, so that the other party can answer and be willing to answer. We can talk about work, study, hobbies and trivial things in life. Don't embarrass the other person because you are at a loss, and don't ask questions that make it difficult for the other person. If the other person is silent and unresponsive, you should change the subject quickly.

Both men and women can consciously make some self-recommendations, including their family members and personal hobbies and specialties. But avoid boasting. Don't let it spoil the fun of the first date. Swearing should not be said, otherwise it will be regarded as disrespectful, uncivilized and impolite to each other.

When dating, you must keep a happy mood and mentality. Because dating is not a school, it doesn't need to preach and inspire personality, so the topic must be relaxed.

If she likes having a large group of people, don't interrupt her group. Just be a loyal listener. At the same time, don't talk about some academic topics yourself.

When dating, it is best to talk about things that often happen around the village, such as TV programs and social forms of newspapers. , or about music. Use your favorite pets, such as cats, dogs, tropical fish, pigeons and birds. Because talking about some relaxing and interesting topics can bring us closer together.

The first trick: coil the career pursuit and find the "bright spot" of the topic.

Career is the foundation of human life. Any young man who works hard for his career and pursues life tirelessly will fly his eyes when he talks about work and life. So firmly grasp some of his "bright spots" in this respect to discuss the topic, you must be full of enthusiasm.

Su Xin is an enterprising girl, but introverted and unsociable, so she is a big girl in her twenties. Until now, "her sister-in-law lives alone." One day, a colleague introduced her to a policeman, Li Ming. When we first met, the introducer said a few words as usual and left. The other two didn't speak and were in an awkward position.

When Su Xin saw this scene, her mind turned and she seemed to casually say, "Your job as a policeman is very hard, your life is in danger at all times, and your family and relatives are also suffering. This is really hard for ordinary people to accept." Hearing this, Dawn was anxious, and immediately took over Su Xin's words, expounding the greatness and complacency of the cause from the aspects of career and ambition, life and pursuit, presentation and demand.

More than two hours of dating passed unconsciously in mutual laughter. Finally, Su Xin sent an affectionate smile to Dawn. In the "crisis moment" of the first date with Dawn, Su Xin firmly grasped the bright spot of the other party's love for his work and looked for a topic. Seemingly "casual", in fact, she deliberately threw out the proposition "which is more important, family or career" to examine his pursuit of career and life, which not only effectively solved the difficult problem that was difficult to understand when he first met, but also achieved the purpose of enhancing mutual understanding and communicating ideas.

The second trick: circle your hobbies and find the "* * * knowledge" of the topic.

Everyone has his own hobbies, even the silent people will talk endlessly as long as they talk about their hobbies with others. However, when we first met, you still didn't know what his hobbies were. It doesn't matter what we do. Let's talk about our hobbies first, and then pursue knowledge, increase understanding and deepen feelings in each other's hobbies.

Ah Yue met Ah Tong through the reasons for marriage in the newspaper. Both of them felt uncomfortable when they met for the first time. They talked for a while around the wind, rain, sun and moon like reciting lines, and then there was nothing to say. After a long silence, Ayue had a brainwave and suggested, "How about going to karaoke?" "Karaoke?" O hesitate to ask 1. "Yes, sitting in the booth, while chewing the fragrance of green tea and coffee, listening to exciting or affectionate music, the worries of life and the tension and fatigue of work are like a wisp of smoke floating in the wind, which will be accompanied by your relaxation, comfort and happiness." Ah Yue paused and looked at Ah Tong affectionately. "Are you right?" "Although I don't like singing and dancing very much, I feel the inspiration and power of music to life after listening to your concise exposition.

No wonder readers criticized my work for lack of passion. ""You mean, do you like reading and writing? This intimacy, music and writing, culture and art, is originally a' home'. "When the dialogue between Ah Yue and A Tong is unsustainable, the clever Ah Yue looks for an opportunity to introduce his hobby to A Tong first, so as to find out where his hobby is. When her hobbies deviated from A Tong, she skillfully extended their common interests to a broad field, thus finding the knowledge point of "a relative".

The third measure: coil the environment and find the "focus" of the topic.

Ambient atmosphere is a dynamic, random and rich topic. It is not a romantic moaning, but a reflection of one's ideas, moral wisdom, and the degree and taste of grasping this topic and interacting with people.

It can be said that a person who is good at observing things, analyzing inexplicable topics and dealing with contradictions and conflicts will be endless as long as he pays attention to the environmental atmosphere.

In Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, it is a custom for a man to visit a woman's house on a blind date. On this day, Yi Qun separated and Chunhui dated alone at home. Chunhui walked into the room and casually commented on her home. But Yiqun is a typical conservative and introverted girl. When Chunhui finished, she stopped answering the phone.

The conversation was deadlocked, and the whole room was only buzzing with "Princess Zhu Huan" on TV. Both of them looked at the screen quietly, and no one spoke again. At this time, the regiment was impatient. But she really lacks the courage to face the spring scenery, so she said to herself in front of the TV: "At present, there are many TV channels, but there are no wonderful programs. Look at this "Pearl Princess". The whole plot festival is a farce, with no taste and no practical significance. " "Yes, look at that swallow ..."

The topic of falling horse in Chunhui suddenly awakened Tan Xing. "What do you think of the charge that Channel 2 robbed a prison to save Swallow and Wei Zi alone?" "I admire E Ertai's integrity, chivalry and courage. At present, such partners are actually too few ... "

When Yi Qun had difficulty talking to Chunhui for the first time, she took the materials on the spot and watched the TV program being broadcast intently, which made people feel natural, casual and relaxed. At the same time, she is good at cajoling topics and finding the tools she needs to know. On the surface, she is listening to Chunhui's comments on the behavior of Channel 2, but in fact, she is examining the principle and degree of Chunhui's personal behavior.

The fourth measure: coil the social form of life and find the excitement of the topic.

Social life covers everything. You always have some people and things that you deeply understand, words that you want to say most, words that you dislike least or words that you like most, words that you care most or words that you want most. Then, when you are caught up in a conversation with your partner, pick a topic that you are most excited about.

According to the arrangement of the introducer, Xiaoqing walked into the park with a magazine in his hand and met another boy, Ayi, with a magazine in his hand. After they signed up for their home like an employment exam, they walked silently by the lake in the park.

Xiaoqing sensed that since she was here on a blind date, she should always talk and learn more. What is it that they don't talk? She frowned and the plan came to her mind. "What kind of magazine do you have in your hand? Can you understand it? " "Just bought China Cosmetics. This magazine is very good and tasteful. " Ah Yi briefly introduced the magazine and handed it to Xiao Qing. "Wow, I can't see that you are quite good at beauty and fashion." "You unfairly praise me. I'm just a hobby.

You see, in the past, beauty makeup was just a woman's fashion. Now people's living standards have improved and their pursuits have changed. Why can't men live brighter? "They talked about fashion, from makeup to clothes, from playing" cool "to unrequited love. When they broke up, they were like a pair of lovers who had been in love for a long time.

Xiaoqing's cleverness lies in her belief that a book always leads to many book-related topics. Even though Ayi is just holding a book for show, he is not interested in books or a certain topic, so he is always interested in many social life topics inspired by books, so their first common conversation was very successful and perfect.

gddzazq……