Classic humor funny copy daquan

1. I once passed 1 people, sparking and almost moving bricks.

Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

I was taught not to spend money indiscriminately from an early age, and when I grew up, I found that there was no money for you to spend.

Although I can't get the moon for you, I can get fish balls, shrimps and fat cows for you. ...

Computers and I have the same language. Every time I take a gentle look at it, it collapses subconsciously.

6. The husband comes home from work. I saw a box of cakes on the table with three candles on it. He asked, "Whose birthday is it today?" The wife next to him replied coldly, "It's this dress on me. I am 3 years old today! "

7. What is a male god? It's the kind of man who thinks this life has nothing to do with you at first sight.

8. Play with chickens. I can drive, but I can't walk. If I could crouch in the house, I wouldn't lie on the hillside. The reality is so bleak that there is no car or room in the game.

9. After the wife gave birth, her family stayed with her in the ward. I excitedly said to my wife, "Great! It's a son. " The wife said, "What, son preference?" I said, "No, I have a daughter who was abducted by some animal when she grew up. It hurts too much." My father-in-law sighed and said, "Yes, it really hurts!"

10. I tell you, I'm different now, and I'm getting poorer every day.

1 1. Girlfriend said: Let's break up! Me: Why? She said: I think you have changed. Me: How did I change? She: If you haven't changed, I won't think you have. Me: ...

12. My son failed in the middle school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: "study hard and you will definitely surpass your father in the future." The son came weakly: "I can't guarantee anything else. However, it is still very sure to find a better wife than you in the future. "

13. I have two bad habits that bother me. The first bad habit is to sleep naked. B: Nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

14. Recently, a colleague wanted to resign. Our boss said, "Now that we have met, don't end it hastily. Let's have dinner together." Then after two days of careful preparation, the hotel's after-dinner activities were all set, but one thing was forgotten, that is, to inform colleagues.

15. Get married. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you marry a bad wife, you will become a philosopher like me.

16. No matter how beautiful your face is, it will grow old one day. I don't think I can afford this loss, so I have never looked good.

17. I was rushing to work by bus today, only to hear an uncle say, "We are in no hurry, let the young people go first, they are in a hurry to go to work." At that time, I thought my uncle was so handsome, and then I said, "Anyway, no matter how many nights, there are seats for me in the car."

18. My mother-in-law gave this cookbook to her daughter-in-law with the intention of letting her learn to cook. As a result, the daughter-in-law was very shy and said to her mother-in-law: Mom, that's very kind of you. You are so tired every day, and you ask me to order for me. This is inappropriate!

19. Every time my wife quarrels with her husband, she has to run to the toilet for a long time. This happens more often. Her husband asked her curiously, "What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? " The wife said, "Brush the toilet!" The husband asked, "Can you get rid of the air by brushing the toilet?" The wife said: I don't know, I used your toothbrush anyway.