How to chat up girls?

Overcome the fear of approaching strange girls

Many people ask the question "How to strike up a conversation with a strange girl".

I think the more fundamental and essential problem is: fear of hitting on strange girls,

When we meet strange girls, especially beautiful strange girls, our hearts and bodies will have many subtle reactions.

(1) We will be excited, slow down, dilate our pupils, beauty, beauty!

(2) We have the impulse to strike up a conversation, want to know her and expect some romantic stories;

(3) But in the end, we often stop approaching, drool for another look, and then walk away.

At this point, our idea is,

(1) She is so beautiful, she must be married or have a boyfriend, and I won't have a chance to know her.

(2) She is too beautiful to have a crush on me or want to know me;

(3) If I say I want to know her, she will refuse me, and I will lose face;

(4) Her friend was nearby, so I went up to strike up a conversation. If I fail, I will be laughed at by her friends;

(5) If a friend is nearby, he will be laughed at if he fails to strike up a conversation;

(6) There are so many people around her that I will be surprised when I talk to the people around me, and I will be regarded as a hooligan;

The environment here is too noisy to talk to her. When she goes to a quiet place, I will approach her.

She seems to be busy now. I will wait until she is busy.

But no matter what we thought, we stopped there. Finally, the beauty left, or did we leave by ourselves? Maybe we turned around and left with regret!

All the above ideas seem reasonable on the surface, but they are actually excuses for their fears.

We dare not go up to meet strange beautiful women!

We are afraid of being rejected by beautiful women!

We are afraid of the opinions and comments of friends or strangers around us!

Think carefully about whether these thoughts are an excuse to cover up your cowardice. Serious introspection and admitting your own shortcomings are the beginning of progress.

Some people may say, I'm not afraid, just a little concerned, and I don't want beautiful women or people around me to treat me like a hooligan.

But do you really want to be a gangster?

You just want to go up and meet beautiful women! It seems that you just want to ask the way! You don't have any bad intentions, and you don't intend to hurt beautiful women or anyone!

I've thought about this fear for a long time. I read a lot of books to find the source of this fear. Because this fear doesn't make much sense. I clearly know that not chatting up will not bring any bad consequences. Even if the conversation fails,

(1) I won't lose money;

(2) I didn't lose much time, just a few minutes;

(3) It is impossible for a beautiful woman to take off her high heels and hit me on the head;

(4) People around me will not call 1 10 to arrest me;

(5) Even if the boyfriend or husband of a beautiful woman is nearby, he will not rush to take out a pair of scissors to cut off my little brother when he sees it.

In the case of 99.999999%, all my losses are just

(1) a minute's face.

The only loss is face, and this feeling of losing face does not need to last long, so I can escape from the scene without risk and accident, and escape from the sight of all those who see it.

Am I so afraid of losing face?

Is there no way to overcome this fear?

Any kind of fear can be overcome through training, including the fear of death.

The easiest and most effective way is to talk to 50 beautiful women directly. Don't think too much about skills, and don't care about the result of chatting up. Find a crowded place. When you meet a beautiful woman, talk to her, kiss up and ask for her phone number.

The first time, you will be extremely nervous, and even feel as if you are dead. You can aim lower, for example, just say hello to her.

After a few times, you will find that most beautiful women's reactions are still very positive. Smile at you and talk to you at ordinary times; Ignore a few people; It is difficult to meet people who swear; It's harder to hit people (don't forget to tell me if you're so lucky).

After training enough times, you will become more and more relaxed, and you can even start playing a few jokes with her. When you leave, ask, "Can I know you?" Tell me your phone number and we can have a cold drink together when we are free. "

Here, you made it!

Some experiences,

(1) Most beautiful women's reactions are moderate or positive. The most negative reaction I met was that the beautiful woman left quietly without talking to me.

(2) It's best to talk to a beautiful girl, because the more beautiful a girl is, the more positive she is to strangers. On the contrary, ordinary girls are more likely to be nervous and avoid strangers. This is because beautiful women are used to being harassed by strange men, and some girls even meet strange boys every day. A Chongqing girl who lives with me in Shenzhen will tell me how strangers accost her when chatting.

(3) Even if you don't have any skills, the chat-up person may succeed. Blind cats can kill mice!

(4) Don't take what girls say about you to heart. In fact, don't take anyone's evaluation of you to heart. Even if the girl says, "I don't want to know an old man like you." Don't take it to heart, don't be sad, and don't have other ideas. People who say these things don't really care about your happiness and happiness. They're just talking and won't take any responsibility for you. Your happiness depends on yourself.

(5) The most important thing when chatting up is not the skill, but the mental state and the image temperament externalized due to your inner state. Don't be afraid, don't be timid, don't be shy, don't hesitate, as if this is the most natural thing in the world. The more natural you are, the more natural the girl will be; If you are shy, girls will find it strange to meet strangers.

(6) If the girl you hit on turns you down, it's her problem, not yours. If your attitude is polite and friendly, she walks away without saying a word, which is her rudeness; You really want to know her and associate with her, but she refused because she lost the opportunity to know a good friend; Some girls turned you down. In fact, when she comes home, she will regret that she missed the opportunity to meet boys because she was shy.

(7) The girl you accosted is likely to have her own "demons". If you are afraid in your heart, she may be afraid in her heart, especially those girls who are not very beautiful or feel inferior. Girls also have a lot of self-confidence.

(8) Chatting up is a superb skill and very casual. No result is inevitable. Don't regard it as a failure, let alone your own. Just like chatting with QQ on the Internet, people nowadays generally need to verify strangers to be friends. How much MM does it usually take to be successful? My personal experience, add 5 MM, just add one. At this time, we won't feel that the four MM in front rejected us. We just continue to look for online friends without hesitation, and send out our requests one by one, and there will always be more. The same is true when chatting up, this girl ignores you or refuses you; Ignore her, go on, and meet the next beautiful woman before hitting on her.

Finally, again, the most direct and effective way to overcome the fear of chatting up is to force yourself to start doing it!

Talk about how to overcome fear. Because to be honest, nine out of ten boys will feel a certain degree of anxiety when pursuing girls. In the face of the girls they like, many boys simply say that the deer are bumping into each other, and when it comes to action, they hold back. When they finally "get up the courage", they are often either one step behind others or miss the opportunity and should stay put. According to my research, one of the main reasons for fear is your attitude towards this matter. The more you value one thing, the more you care about the result, the more you can't let go, and the more you will have fear. If all you think about all day is "I must catch up with this girl", you will be more nervous and more likely to fail. That's why I want you to take an "experimental" attitude. Before you catch up, everything is just an opportunity for you to increase your "experience value". Of course, in addition to adjusting your mentality, the accumulation of experience is the only way to build self-confidence. Public speaking is a good example. The speaker's self-confidence on the stage is often the result of behind-the-scenes practice. [attach]2780[/attach] The same is true for girls. If you are a shy boy, you need to jump out of your nest and boldly try to interact with girls more. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do what you should do, otherwise things will not progress. It doesn't matter how many times you are rejected. The point is, have you changed? Many people like to write and ask questions related to "chatting up", saying that there is a lovely salesgirl in the convenience store on the corner. How do you know her? I didn't have the courage to ask for the phone number, and I was worried that she might already have a boyfriend, so I had to patronize the convenience store frequently until nothing happened. Of course, chatting up is also a university question, but only if you have the courage to act. A simple "classmate, can I know you?" Try it in a generous and sincere tone. I believe at least half of the girls will continue to chat with you. The key is whether you dare to try. In addition to your mentality and experience, there are actually many advanced skills to overcome fear. One of the interesting ways is

The hidden content of this post needs to be replied before browsing.

For example, hypnotize yourself, close your eyes and imagine yourself becoming a 40-foot-tall giant. Wherever you go, you are the biggest. Now, imagine that a warm current of incomparable self-confidence flows all over your body, even if you face any more tense situation in the future, it is harmless.

Okay, you can open your eyes. Finally, think about what you learned today. Actually, I can tell you more about the theme of "fear", but I think it's better to leave it for another time.

Ten ways to overcome the fear of hitting on people.

(1) Make clear the purpose of your conversation and find out what prevents you from chatting up.

Why do you strike up a conversation to prove that you can break through? Sleeping with MM? Do you doubt your motives? Do you have a moral burden? Are you afraid of hitting on people?

What prevents you from taking action, fear? Afraid of what? Fear of failure, rejection and ridicule?

(2) Stimulate your willingness to strike up a conversation to the realm of "must".

Do you have to strike up a conversation Do you have to do this, or do you just want to do this?

Reconsider why you strike up a conversation. Is it because you can't find a girlfriend? Is it because there are fewer beautiful girls around you and you like fewer? Every time I walk through the street and see those beautiful figures floating around, do you feel that you are full of melancholy and regret for missing, and hate that you are not her classmates or colleagues?

Are you willing to continue to endure loneliness? Do you want to be wronged by a girl you don't like? Are you going to endure this pain all your life?

Taste this pain seriously, treat it as your gall, and lick it every day. Until I couldn't stand it, I shouted "I must strike up a conversation!" " "

Remove the weak expression "I will try …" and add "I must …! "Become a habit of expression.

(3) Interrupt the old neural association.

What is old neural association? It's your wrong emotional pattern: you feel comfortable doing what you shouldn't do and you feel uncomfortable doing what you should do.

For example, if you strike up a conversation, you feel uncomfortable. If you don't strike up a conversation, you feel relaxed.

You must break this old emotional pattern. If you strike up a conversation, turn it into happiness. If you don't strike up a conversation, turn it into pain.

How to do it specifically?

Think back to a scene where you failed to strike up a conversation, the girl's indifferent expression, the strange eyes of people around you, and standing there alone ... Are these all painful for you?

First, play back these shots;

The second step is visual agitation. Is to destroy these films in a funny way. For example, imagine that the girl turned you down, but as soon as you turned around, she knelt down and begged you, "Please take me again and I'll give you the number!" " "Use your imagination to rewrite these failed experiences and make funny scenes. You can tell your friends and share with them.

With this process, you can eliminate the pain of your own failure to strike up a conversation.

In addition, establish a punishment mechanism to punish yourself for not chatting up. Tie a rubber band around your arm. If you see a beautiful woman, but find an excuse not to act, break yourself with a rubber band and hurt yourself.

(4) Establish new neural connections.

A new neural connection is a positive neural connection that helps you succeed.

You will feel happy when you strike up a conversation, you will feel powerful when you strike up a conversation, and you will feel that you are on your way to success when you strike up a conversation!

(5) Strengthen neural association.

The subconscious mind can't tell whether something is true or not. As long as we keep imagining, repeating and believing, it will become a reality.

Here are some ways to help you strengthen positive neural connections:

First, self-hypnosis is achieved by repeatedly learning various materials. Including watching FR of successful people, watching PUA's successful videos, paying attention to the teacher's natural and confident attitude, and observing the happy expression of girls after being accosted.

Second, imagine the success method. Imagine what life will be like when you become a talkative person. By that time, how many beautiful women can you meet, what kind of girlfriends you can have, what kind of weekends you will have, what kind of sex life you will have, what changes your life will have, how your friends will envy your endless happiness, and what kind of choice advantages you will have compared with ordinary people when choosing a wife. ...

Third, establish a positive heart anchor. What is a heart anchor? It is the connection between a certain physical feeling or action and a certain mental feeling. In volleyball, players clap their hands to cheer each other up before serving. Clapping your hands is associated with high morale, which is the heart anchor. Using the method of heart anchor can make you reach the peak quickly when chatting up, such as high-five or raising your hand before each chatting up. As soon as you do this action, you will feel confident inside.

(6) testing.

Imagine seeing a beautiful woman now, would you still be afraid?

If you still have fear, continue to repeat the above five steps to enhance the effect.

Any behavior will eventually become a habit as long as it is repeatedly strengthened; Any behavior will definitely disappear in the end as long as it is not strengthened.

My personal experience is that as long as you strike up a conversation with a few people, both men and women can become very enthusiastic, and the following dialogue will be natural. So I advocate warm-up, warm-up before chatting up.

As long as you don't strike up a conversation for a while, your fear of hitting up a conversation will rise again. A day without practice, a day without singing. Therefore, let chatting up become a habit.

Overcome the inferiority complex in the process of picking up girls.

In the process of picking up girls, you may meet all kinds of women. Generally speaking, men are usually more confident when they meet women who are weaker than themselves, but once they meet women who are stronger than themselves, most men will feel inferior. Overcoming this inferiority complex is sometimes the key to success.

This kind of power is generally two kinds, which may make men feel inferior. One is that the other person looks better and is too different from himself, including height. It is easy for men to feel inferior and feel that the other person will not like themselves, which leads to a lack of self-confidence in getting along and never gives up on their own initiative.

Another is that the other party's economic strength is stronger than their own, and boys are particularly prone to inferiority. Of course, what is even more frightening is that the appearance and economic strength are much stronger than yours, so most men may not even be in the mood to soak, and generally give up immediately.

Therefore, in the process of picking up girls, we must overcome this inferiority complex, even if we fail, we must stick to the end. If you try and fail, accept it. It is a pity that you will fail if you don't work hard. You have to understand that since the other party chats with you and agrees to meet you, it means that the other party may not be interested in your financial strength or your appearance. It is very likely that something touched her, and she will consider meeting you. Therefore, you should keep your previous behavior characteristics, show your true self and not be influenced by external factors, then you may have unexpected gains.

You must understand that the charm of a man is first of all self-confidence. If a man loses confidence in front of women, his style will be greatly reduced. Women generally don't like a man who has no opinion and no confidence.

So, what if you overcome this psychology? First of all, in this case, you must keep your color unchanged. Remember not to play fat in the face. Don't look at the other person's income higher than yours, just make up some words about how you are rich. You have to understand that pretending to be rich in front of rich people is easy to be seen. Never do such a stupid thing.

When you meet a girl whose looks are too different, don't be afraid of your looks in conversation. Evaluate your appearance objectively and peacefully. Don't just be too high. You can hurt yourself a little, just kidding. But be confident when you speak. The topic can introduce your strengths or areas that can impress each other as soon as possible. In your familiar field, you are full of absolute confidence, and men are the most handsome when they are confident. You must remember this.

If you meet a woman with stronger financial strength than yourself, don't be afraid to talk about this topic. If the other party talks about this topic, you should face it calmly and evaluate yourself objectively, and don't make any excuses for your economic strength being inferior to the other party. You should frankly admit that you are not as good as each other and express your sincere admiration for each other. At the same time, you should emphasize that you are not working hard, you are also working hard, and you are basically satisfied with your current income. Not everyone in this world can have a high income. Of course, it also means that you will get better and better. This is appropriate, don't exaggerate. Like I'm the best in the world. We should evaluate ourselves objectively and fairly, be confident, and show the image of hard work, dedication and responsibility.

Of course, the topic can be appropriately led to other aspects, to areas of common interest or to one's own strengths. During the conversation, treat the other person as an ordinary girl. Don't dare to act just because the other side is in good condition. Think of him as an advanced course. Of course, respect each other. And you have to show that you are a man, no matter how good the other person is, she is still a woman. In the communication between men and women, men should be more active and control the situation, not the other way around. Otherwise, women will not respect you.

If the other party's economic strength is relatively strong, you can pay in good faith, but if the other party insists, you don't have to insist too much. You just need to express your sincerity. Generally, girls with strong economic strength will take the initiative to pay the bill. Asking the other person to pay the bill is a way to show your confidence. If you insist on paying the bill desperately, the other party will think you are inferior. But be careful, be sure to express your feeling of paying the bill sincerely and naturally. Don't fake it. In case the opponent can't beat you, that's normal. Don't worry.

If this kind of woman continues to date you, you don't have to go to high-end places to cater to the other person's consumption level. You can say frankly that you can't afford it and take the other person to a place where you can afford it. Remember, show your true side, don't set your vanity for each other, just hit your face from the fat side.

Case study 1 1:

Jane doe is 30 years old. I didn't find anything special about each other when I started chatting. The other party didn't tell me her financial situation either. When we first met, we made an appointment in the coffee shop of an upscale hotel. We met in the parking lot. I drove two boxes of Fukang. The other party was driving a red BMW. The car is parked next to me. At that time, I was really hit hard and almost backed out.

I collected my thoughts, calmed down and said with a smile, your car is really beautiful. My dream is to own a BMW. I like BMW very much. And then, by the way, my understanding of cars. I really like BMW, so I usually read a lot of magazines and talk a lot. Many people have never heard of it. I don't think this car is hers, but mine. Immediately reversed the inferiority complex at that time.

Then we went to the coffee shop to chat. During the chat, I know that the other person's family is very rich. However, this woman prefers people with connotation and talent. I praised each other's life appropriately, and at the same time expressed a certain degree of satisfaction with my own life. What everyone should pay attention to is that when you praise others, don't say that you are dissatisfied with life, because that is another form of inferiority. Then I lead the topic to other fields where I am strong, and constantly strengthen my talents to suit my interests. Let the other party forget the gap between your economic strength.

When I pay the bill, I take the initiative to pay the bill, which is very sincere. Never take your wallet slowly, but take the bill slowly, which is very insincere. You should prepare the bill in advance, and the best price is 100, and hand it directly to the waiter. Let the other party handle the rest. As a result, the other party was very tough and asked the waiter to accept her money. At this time, don't refuse, not to mention how I can let you invite those nonsense. What you should say is: Thank you for your hospitality. I'll treat you next time. Be sincere, so sending it to yourself will leave an excuse for the next date, and it also shows that you don't care about this material, show enough self-confidence and make the other person more satisfied with you.

When I arrived at the parking lot, the other party said, would you like to try my car? At this time, you should be generous, don't be too exclusive, say it like a buddy, OK. Accept each other's invitation calmly. If you don't understand the operation, ask the other person frankly, don't pretend to understand. When driving, give the other person a proper compliment, but don't be too flattering. Every time you praise a place, you must have a statement. Don't talk nonsense. If you are not satisfied, you should also ask your own questions and answer each other's explanations. You should think about it before deciding whether to accept it or not. Don't be what the other person says. You should show your independent thinking ability.

I tested the other car, then made an objective evaluation and praised the other side, but the distance between the two sides narrowed. Later, our dates were all about cars. Even the next date with him, you can just say that you want to drive the other person's car as a reason. There are many dates, and during driving, you can also make some physical contact by asking each other or joking. We must overcome our inferiority complex and show our confidence.

Then I caught this girl. We kept it for a long time, and I lost touch because of a new goal.

Of course, remember, when you meet such a girl, don't talk about her money. This does not conform to the principle of picking up girls, and it is easy to show greed and easily arouse the resentment of the other party. You know, since the other party has so much financial resources, it is definitely not an ordinary person. Unless you look like Pan An and the other person is willing, it's hard not to let the other person know that you have wild desires. Picking up girls is simply picking up girls and has nothing to do with anything else. Don't worry about money and those things.

In this case, it is very important to overcome inferiority complex. Although overcoming inferiority may not be successful, but full of inferiority will certainly fail. Therefore, overcoming inferiority, facing everything calmly, showing enough self-confidence, facing each other's contempt calmly and showing their own strength can leave a good impression on each other and lay a solid foundation for the final victory.

Solve the problem that it is difficult for novices to talk.

Some people talk about things in QQ space, such as college life and personal trivia. You can see the general idea and train of thought of this woman, which is very helpful for your chat. However, in my opinion, it's better to go to the street to make friends through online chat, which is more practical and can exercise yourself. Because of my work, I was lucky enough to join the otaku camp, but I also played a little cautiously in online chat. Compared with the previous idea, it is really a step up. Ok, cut the crap and start with the text: 1. The personal mood of a university MM: Merry Christmas, the class will get together again. Tonight is Christmas Eve. . . You don't have to study at night. . . Oh, by the way, will you go to eat hot pot? Anthracene, a complicated problem, or you will get acne again. Why is it getting colder and colder? Let's analyze "Merry Christmas+Two Commas" slowly. This man is kind at heart and can be friends. After doing something, he will think about what to do next. He has no opinion. He can roughly guess from the two commas after happiness. Of course, he can start from this aspect. Naturally, he has a better chance of success. Go on to the next sentence, the class is getting together again. This sentence can clearly see that classes often engage in activities. This MM is also keen on this kind of activity and likes groups. Further research is needed on extroversion and introversion. At least she doesn't feel at home with acquaintances. Because it's Chinese characters, I added red. It can be seen that this MM has been in love for no more than three times, which is still the little girl's psychology. Although she is a college student, she is still inexperienced. Hehe, as for whether it is worth it or not, she has to weigh it herself. "Tonight is Christmas Eve. . . "After the third issue, we can see that tonight's activities will be very happy and look forward to having good memories. By analogy, everyone is not stupid and doesn't know what to say. Time is limited. I get off work at 8 o'clock and go home to make up the following ... Well, it's 10 now, and I've already gone home. Let's continue to make up the following, "Anthracene, a complicated problem, or you'll get acne again." It can be seen that this woman is not lazy, at least by nature, and works hard. Literally, if you use smart ABC, these words have to be turned over several times. She is a little narcissistic, and her difficulties will be covered up by her happy mood at the moment. The next possibility is that this woman is not backward in appearance and pursues fashion, which can be associated with acne. "Ah" is very good this time, hehe, modal particles. On the surface, I can understand that I used to have acne, and I care about it very much. Maybe I want to show it to others, so 50% judged that I have a boyfriend. "Why is it getting colder and colder?" This is more general and there are many analysis routes. From the appearance of clothes and my boyfriend, I can see that I am a little lonely at the moment, and I really feel the mood before the reunion, happy and lonely. I hope this friendship will make me happy, so I can analyze it: Summary: I can start with literary talent. You can leave a good poem in the space, which contains Christmas wishes, lonely hearts and happiness among friends. This is the main idea of this poem. I'll write one for you next time. ) Then, thank you, I guess. Then you can start from college. Topics can range from clothes to friends' past. Anyway, you can fool her ... we have to give her what she needs (this is the importance of analysis, so it won't be chaotic, maybe you took some shortcuts). Then +QQ, after adding QQ, it is not what I want to say in this post (you can look at other posts). Of course, this is purely your own YY. Know yourself and know yourself, and you will be invincible.

About hitting on people

Many people say that hitting on beautiful women has psychological barriers and is too nervous. Even if you barely strike up a conversation, the topic can't continue.

In fact, there are dialogues everywhere in daily life. How are you doing?

When I passed my colleague's position, I accidentally noticed one thing. Will I talk to him about it? As far as I know, many people can't do this alone. Or, don't want to do it. In fact, this is a good exercise opportunity. If you do this every day, you will find that your observation will become stronger and stronger, and the conversation will become more and more natural. When you feel natural, your inspiration comes. At the same time, you have more friends. There are many ways to know beautiful women.