Humorous jokes and jokes

Copy of humorous jokes (selected 48 sentences) 1. Yue Lao, please change the cable when you hold the red line for me next time. Even incoming calls are not easily disconnected. If I can choose my life, I'd rather keep it simple. A teacup, a hut, an acre of fertile land, and 100 million deposits. Simple, good. I have a friend who found a very rich husband. Although he got endless wealth, he also lost his troubles. 4. You can learn two other skills: reject people you hate casually and promise your sweetheart seriously. I won't play hard to get. If you take one step towards me, I will jump three steps towards you. If you take a step back, I will take a step back 10000 and run home and lock the door! 6. "What's it like to like someone who doesn't like you?" I treat you like a life, and you treat me like a disease. 7. Life can't be like cooking. Don't cook until all the materials are ready. 8. Never feel ugly just because it is true; Never think you are fat, because it is a fact; Never feel poor, because it is a fact. 9. What is the experience of being single for more than two years? I have been single for 22 years. I don't know what two years you are talking about. 10. What is the psychology of dating a man who once pursued me behind my back? God replied: Your best friend is really strong! 1 1. How to spit out a bad movie? God replied: The cinema has 17 rows of seats, with 32 seats in each row. There are 48 lights on the ceiling, and a black dot always appears in the lower left corner of the screen. The frequency is about 1 minute and 20 seconds. 12. What did you say at last? God replied: Can you try another doctor? I always feel that I can live. 13. Say a meaningful poem. God replied: a lazy man has a small shirt. 14. Other people's children will buy toilet paper, and mine is still on the toilet paper. God replied: other people's wives will be angry, and your wife will swell. 15. A female player posted in the forum and asked, "I want to express my love for the boy I like on Singles Day. What gift should I give? " God replied: the first drop of blood! 16. Every time I watch a costume film, I hear people say: I want to smell strange fragrance, and it feels strange. 17. How to roll the sheets gracefully forward? A: There is a nearly 300 million project that needs your help. 18. Why do girls have their holidays? God replied: This egg/child, if it can't wait for sperm/child, is called a depressed patient and vomits blood while walking. 19. How can civil servants earn an annual salary of one million? A: The way of civil servants' annual salary of one million has been written into the criminal law. You can check it if necessary. Q: What was the last time you experienced death? God replied: I almost caught up with the sperm/child behind me 20 years ago. 2 1. Where are the most beautiful girls in China? God replied: WeChat circle of friends 22. Q: What does "who held my hand and made me crazy for half my life" mean? God replied: I am sick, who has medicine! 23. Do you understand why I can't travel? Because you are poor. 24. Being tired is because you have something extra in your heart, just like being full. 25. Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. I have a good attitude. 26. The goddess said that she and I are not from the same world. What should I do? I may have met a Martian! 27. Real brothers, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven't contacted, even if we changed our mobile phone numbers several times, when we want to borrow money, we can always find you? 28. Don't use honey traps on me in the future, or I will accompany you. 29. The school flower refers to girls, and the school grass refers to boys. Then, the sentence "There is grass in the sea, why unrequited love for a flower" is worth thinking about. After thinking about it, I always feel that something is wrong. 30. Be nice to your boyfriend when you find him. Don't bully him Hurt him. This is not good for him. After all, he is blind. 3 1. You know, Baidu can't find you at all, so it can only enter sogou. 32. I saw a man just now. He is very handsome. This handsome man makes me feel that all men are moved by it. Then I went over to make friends with him. When I looked closer, I saw a mirror. You said it was embarrassing. 33. After several decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. All of them will be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. 34. I envy you ugly people. If you are lovelorn, you can at least say "Who made me ugly" to comfort yourself. 35. Too many classes are skipped. When I went to class yesterday, the professor was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for such a long time." You have grown so big. " 36. If you like to play games well, I can practice; You like to cook good food, I can learn; But you said you liked the ugly ones. What do you want me to do？ There's nothing I can do. 37. You look thin only when I am fat, lest you look ugly when I lose weight. 38. Remember to hold your head high, or others will see your double chin. 39. Although it is good to go to bed early and get up early, it is also good to go to bed late and get up late. 40. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back. 4 1. You can't have it both ways, but you can have poverty and ugliness at the same time. Being fat and short is so special. 42. Someone asked me why my skin is black. This is very interesting. One white covers all the ugliness. You hide your ugliness for nothing, but I'm not ugly. 43. When I live to this age, the only thing I can put down is chopsticks. 44. Be sure to remember those people who chat with you late into the night, because of them, you have dark circles. 45. Getting up early can really do a lot of things, for example, sleeping again. 46. My parents said never to fall in love at school, as if someone would value me. 47. Try not to fall in love early when you are young. Knowing that you are ugly and short too early will affect the exam. 48. A girl's cuteness is directly proportional to her ability to eat.