How to be a friend that others deserve and like to make?

The so-called "being looked down upon" is actually "striking". Generally speaking, people who are called "disgusting" are conspicuous people.

In the future, if you can't stand out, you can't succeed. The term "eye-catching person" can have both good and bad meanings. People who can attract people's attention are more likely to succeed than unknown people.

The key to success is whether you stand out from the crowd. However, it is not enough to stand out. After attracting attention, you have to continue to act.

If you think that as long as you don't attract others' attention, you won't cause trouble to others, but you don't know what to do after you attract attention.

Those who claim that they won't cause trouble to others are actually the people with the worst quality. Without the support of others, even the greatest man can't survive.

Those who often say that they will bring trouble to others hold the consciousness that everyone needs help from others.

And those who claim that they will not cause trouble to others always hold the wrong idea-I don't bother others, but I am still alive!

In fact, such people are the most troublesome people. People are more willing to accept those who hold the consciousness that "people will always cause trouble to others" than those who keep saying that they will not cause trouble to others.

What people think of a person is not determined by the amount of trouble he brings to others. People are willing to accept those who are grateful and persistent for causing trouble to others.

So far, the Japanese have been taught to try to avoid causing trouble to others. In the company, try to keep a low profile during the meeting and try not to attract others' attention. However, in order to gain the support of customers in the future, it is an important method to find ways to make yourself conspicuous.

If you don't do this, you won't leave a deep impression on customers, and customers won't remember you.

When eating out, that conspicuous restaurant will often make you remember it at a glance.

When you ask the waiter what is delicious, if he answers "Everything is delicious", it means that there is no eye-catching food here.

No matter what the rest of the dishes are, as long as one dish is delicious and emphasized, many people will be surprised and restaurants will be welcomed by people. Only in this way can your restaurant, your career and your life begin to succeed. Most people who are looked down upon are good people.

I often hear people say that someone is often looked down upon, but when I really met him, I was surprised to find that he was actually a very nice person.

Besides, we may be hated by many people who have never met at all.

Why is this happening?

This is because the impression that "he is an unpleasant person" has been preconceived in our minds.

When you really meet, as long as that person's performance is slightly better, your opinion of him will change greatly, thus leaving a good impression.

On the other hand, if everyone is told that "he is a very nice person" and he just behaves in general when meeting, then everyone will be disappointed in him and leave a bad impression. The first impression is caused by the gap between the previous concept and the view when meeting. In fact, the most important thing is the impression after meeting.

No matter what impression people who have never met have on you, it won't hurt you.

When you meet for the first time, the most important thing is the impression you leave on the people you will work with and play with in the future, because it is related to your future contacts.

Never mind how people who have never met hate you.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

People who are looked down upon are considerate people.

In this world, the more people are considered "selfish" by others, the more they will try to make up for their mistakes.

It's not a bad thing to be looked down upon.

Don't do annoying things, just let nature take its course.

After being looked down upon by others, we must actively compensate.

It is said that in the circle of actors, artists and businessmen, different lifestyles are the shortcut to success.

However, because their unique lifestyle has brought trouble to people around them, those who live in a unique way are also trying to make up for it.

In Japan, Katsutaro is a talented actor known as "acting freak".

He leads a maverick life, and sometimes he is mistaken for a bad element, giving the impression that he is completely looked down upon.

However, people who have really come into contact with Katsutaro say that he is the most considerate person in the world.

This is because he consciously does things that others don't like.

In that case, he must try his best to make amends.

Because everyone should seek a spiritual balance.

Annoying people will want to make up for the unhappiness they have caused others.

If you only see the appearance and can't understand the deep meaning of this behavior, then you will only choose to do something that people don't like, instead of making compensation consciously and seriously.

In fact, being looked down upon is not a bad thing.

Don't just do things that annoy others. What's more important is how hard you lived before and how hard you tried to make up for it afterwards.

If you go drinking with Katsutaro, you will definitely get the impression that he always sits comfortably in the outermost position of the sofa.

In fact, he always sits in the outermost position in the club, because then he can help everyone pour and change wine.

Such details, if not really associate with Katsutaro, people will not know.

If you insist that people like Katsutaro are domineering, then you don't understand the true meaning of being looked down upon.

You can't understand the maverick lifestyle. People who expose their shortcomings and are unprepared are more intimate.

The so-called "being looked down upon" is to let others see your "loopholes".

The so-called "loophole" is your shortcoming.

It's your stupid side, your disgraceful side.

Most people will try their best to hide their loopholes from others.

The greater a man is, the harder it is to hide.

However, in fact, people who are really attractive and can capture people's hearts are often those who expose many shortcomings.

Some bosses will try their best to hide their shortcomings from their subordinates in order to establish prestige among them.

In fact, this is a wrong effort.

Although in the eyes of subordinates, a boss without shortcomings is really great.

However, such a boss is also the most difficult boss to get along with and the most stressful boss.

Instead, it is the bosses who have many shortcomings that can reassure their subordinates.

Because a defective boss will give his subordinates a chance to correct their mistakes.

A boss who has no shortcomings will not forgive subordinates who have made mistakes.

No one is perfect, and everyone has some shortcomings.

Only by admitting your own shortcomings can you understand the shortcomings of others and accept people with shortcomings.

People who are unprepared for others will have many friends and good popularity.

Conversely, the reason why these people dare to expose their shortcomings and are unprepared for others is because they are confident enough.

People who have no confidence in themselves dare not do things that are looked down upon by others.

In fact, being looked down upon is a very difficult thing to do.

People who have no self-confidence will try not to offend anyone in order not to cause others boredom and disputes.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

Release your unique taste.

People who are looked down upon generally have their own tastes.

This smell is actually your "personality".

This smell is unpleasant at first, but it will be impressive.

Because people will be curious about this strange smell.

People often frown when they smell strange smells.

When you smell perfume for the first time, you will have a pungent feeling. Once you get used to it, you will smell its fragrance.

People who have just joined the homeless will not take a shower for a long time at first.

This makes your body and clothes stink.

Ten days later, it stinks.

And a month later, the smell turned to stink.

Although they all have smells, they are always annoying wherever they go.

If they insist on this, their bodies will smell like primitive animals.

The flavor with personality is peculiar smell.

If you want to impress people with the smell, then the smell is absolutely impossible.

Only a bad smell can make people remember you.

Don't confuse bad smell with peculiar smell.

So, how can we release odor, not bad smell?

If you are just lazy and don't take a shower, it will only stink.

And if you don't take a bath as a means, and persistently establish your own lifestyle on this basis, you will have a unique smell.

Being looked down upon by others carelessly and treating being looked down upon as your own policy are two completely different situations.

Don't offend others passively, but be looked down upon with a positive attitude.

It's annoying, too, but there is a world of difference between a positive attitude and a negative attitude.

When you do an annoying thing and are accused by others, you must be able to explain it with a smile.

When people around you criticize you, whether your attitude is embarrassing or honest largely determines people's judgment on you.

The same failure, if you are embarrassed, will become a very shameful failure.

On the contrary, if you are generous and smile, people around you may not take your failure seriously.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

Losers become heroes.

Nowadays, anyone can be a hero.

Being a hero is certainly not a bad thing.

In order to be a hero, you will consider how to succeed.

However, the way to be a hero is not just "success".

Although it is generally believed that once you fail, you can't be a hero, in fact, not all heroes are successful.

In fact, although many people failed, they became heroes.

These people didn't want to fail from the beginning. It is only because they are not afraid of failure and have been brave enough to accept challenges that they finally become heroes.

The base running mode of the World Baseball League is completely different from that of the Japanese baseball game.

In the world series, even if the success rate is only 50%, players have to run the base.

In Japanese baseball, no one has a 50% success rate.

Only when the success rate is above 80% will players run to the base.

In Japan, if a baseball player runs to the base, the success rate is only 50%, and finally loses, the audience will regard him as a fool who doesn't know the timing of running.

If it is an American audience, they will give this player a good evaluation because he dares to accept the challenge.

The American audience will criticize those players who don't run without full assurance.

This is the American theory of success.

Let's recall the National High School Baseball League this summer.

The match between Songshan caravan and Misawa high school team was delayed 18 times, and both sides drew. Although the Songshan caravan won in the end, it was Koji Ota who lost the game that impressed the audience the most.

This is not because the audience has a preference.

In the future, the Japanese audience will be as full of praise for those who dare to accept the challenge as the American audience.

If you just want to be a hero through success, you may never be a hero.

The view that "losers are unlovable people" has begun to change.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

Excessive enthusiasm will make the other person lose enthusiasm.

Some people always try their best to help others when asking for help. Such people are generally not looked down upon by others. Some people will say "no" to people who come to him for help. In this way, people who ask him will think that this person has a heart of stone. Such people are usually disliked.

Although I am willing to help others in various situations, I am always careful and try not to be too enthusiastic about others. The reason can be illustrated by the following story.

There is a famous fortune teller. If you want to meet him, you usually have to make an appointment six months in advance. Making an appointment is a troublesome thing. If you don't take the initiative, you will lose the motivation to do it. Only when people make an appointment by phone in person will they not forget the date of meeting.

But if you give the initiative to others, you will lose your enthusiasm for dating and the date of meeting is easy to forget.

Warm-hearted people will not be rejected by others. People who are not enthusiastic sometimes attract resentment. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing, because at least it will not damage the enthusiasm of the other party. Excessive enthusiasm for others sometimes "takes away" the enthusiasm of the other party. What can we do to attract people's attention by sticking to the opinions of a few people about the success of stocks and life? The answer is simple: join the minority.

In most people's camp, it is not easy for you to stand out. Buying stocks is the easiest way to explain this truth.

In order to make money, you will ask many people for advice before deciding which stock to buy.

What would you do if 8 out of 10 people suggested that you had better not buy a company's stock, while the other 2 people said that the company's stock would definitely make money?

Most people will choose not to buy, because eight people suggested not to buy. If you do this, you will fail! In fact, if you follow the choice of most people when buying stocks, you can't make money.

The basic principle of buying stocks is: buy when everyone throws you, and throw when everyone buys you. If you keep pace with others, all that awaits you is the loss of money. There will never be a situation where you can make money by acting in concert with most people. Actually, life is the same.

The key to success lies in whether you have listened to the opinions of a few people. If you do what others say, you will not succeed in stock or life. Even in the face of expert opinions, we should dare to doubt. However, people tend to trust the words of authoritative people and are unconsciously led by the word "authority".

Those who insist on minority opinions are bound to attract people's disgust. You must decide whether you stand for the majority or the minority. People who always pay attention to not being bored will be unconsciously buried among most people.

Although some people intend to become a minority, they don't know when they will join the majority. Take fashion as an example.

If a fashion magazine introduces "personalized clothes popular this year" and you dress up according to the introduction in that book, then you will wear the same "personalized clothes" as everyone who has read this book. In other words, you are just one of the majority. In fact, "fashion" and "personality" are two contradictory words. There is a contradiction in the sentence "personalized clothing is popular this year" Only when others cast amazing eyes on your clothes can you be considered a minority and stand out from the crowd.

When everyone wears fluorescent clothes, you also wear fluorescent clothes, then you will only be buried in the crowd.

The reason why others don't like you is not that you are worse than everyone else, but that you belong to a minority. Most people are not always right, and few people are not always wrong.

History is constantly moving forward, and we can't simply say who is right or wrong.

What was once right may become wrong with the progress of the times.

In the tide of the times, the judgment of right and wrong is meaningless. What should really be judged is whether you belong to the majority or the minority. It must be a minority to create the future era! The law of social development must be a minority leading the majority.

You may not obey "morality", but you must obey the etiquette. If you think that you don't know manners, you will be looked down upon, then you are wrong. Because even if you are polite, you may attract others' attention.

To be looked down upon is to disobey moral constraints. The so-called "morality" is a rule that most people believe in, and morality is not necessarily correct.

With the change of the times, morality will also change. Morality is not something that will never change. The so-called "morality" just fits most people's ideas at a certain moment.

The so-called "moral lifestyle" means being integrated with most people and acting in line with everyone. And this is not an absolute human being.

People who do this will live more easily in the moral circle. If you leave that circle, you are off the right track. As long as you stay in the moral circle, you don't have to worry about being looked down upon. However, once you enter the moral circle, people's awareness of observing etiquette will become less and less.

Sticking to the minority position will break the moral rules. It doesn't matter if it is destroyed, but the etiquette should be observed. Etiquette is etiquette, that is, not to cause trouble to others.

People who are looked down upon can be divided into two types: those who cause trouble to others and those who don't. People who cause trouble to others are not annoying, but rude. We can't confuse these two kinds of people. People who are looked down upon are not rude people. Observe etiquette, and polite people will attract others' attention. This is because their values are different from others. They all created their own unique values, and the scope of these values is wider. If everyone lives in a value circle with a diameter of 5 meters, then they live in a value circle with a diameter of 10 meters. If a person's values are different, he can live in a wider world. Although others look down on you, you must obey the etiquette.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

Absentee marriage and funeral marriage

Although unreasonable, you can not attend the wedding.

What kind of behavior will attract others' attention? Not attending a funeral often causes people's dissatisfaction. Japanese may miss the wedding, but few people have the courage to avoid the funeral.

Because it's reasonable to attend a funeral. If you avoid the funeral, you will leave a ruthless impression. However, if the original intimate interpersonal relationship is alienated because of absence, then such a relationship cannot be said to be a real intimate relationship. Even if we often act irrationally, we can understand each other, so that we can be regarded as true friends. If a friend scolds you for not attending the funeral, it can only show that you have not established a real friendship. When you are in an annoying situation, you can see who your real friends are. As long as you don't do anything annoying, you can maintain a seemingly friendly relationship with everyone.

However, at the moment when you are beyond common sense, such as just missing a funeral, people around you may regard you as a "cold-blooded animal".

Although maybe you have to miss the funeral because you are not feeling well. However, a friend lost because of absence is not worth cherishing.

Those who try their best not to be annoying always seem to have many friends. However, it is possible for people who dare to be annoying to hold true friends.

A true friend won't call you a "pain in the ass" and won't say it easily. Whether or not to attend a funeral is only the surface layer of interpersonal relationship, but its essence lies in a deeper place. Although some people are looked down upon in doing things, such as not attending funerals, they will think carefully about how to comfort the families of the deceased and how to repay their kindness. Their feelings are often expressed more deeply.

People who are looked down upon don't cry at funerals.

The person crying at the funeral must not be the client. Because the people concerned have already dried their tears and have no power to cry. They are just immersed in deep sorrow.

In most people's eyes, people who don't cry at funerals are disgusting. In fact, most people who burn incense and shed tears for the deceased at the funeral are not close to the deceased.

They just use tears to express their intimate relationship, just like the popular TV memorial service program now. Therefore, just because someone doesn't cry at the funeral, you can't blame him for being chilling.

If you pay attention to the behavior of people who are "looked down upon", you will have a deeper understanding of the deepest feelings in the human mind.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

People who are looked down upon are tolerant.

Although people who are looked down upon often have to face others' frowning expressions, they never care about others' behavior.

They always feel sorry for others because they know that their maverick will bring trouble to others.

Therefore, they can also tolerate other people's mistakes.

A person with his own unique values will not think that others are wrong just because their values are different from his own.

Because your own value judgment belongs to a minority, you will only appreciate the unique value judgment of others and never deny it.

In the development of the new era, it is very important to make a correct evaluation of things that can give birth to brand-new values.

The people who can make a correct evaluation of this are those who are looked down upon by the people around them.

People who hear the footsteps of the new era for the first time, like those who create new things, will meet the frowning faces of people around them.

Most people often look at new values in a negative way.

Because the values of the new students are different from the values they have always believed in, I deny this change.

In this way, changing things and people will often be hated by others.

However, people who create a new era are often very few people who stand out.

They will become the leaders of the new era.

There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who hate others and those who are hated by others.

What kind do you belong to?

People who are hated by others create a new era, and those who hate others can only follow.

The minority never opposes what the majority does.

Because they know that most people are far below their own cognitive level.

As ethnic minorities, they have already surpassed that stage.

The so-called "frown to express dissatisfaction" must be the behavior of low-level people towards high-level talents.

High-level people will only give low-level people a kind smile.

God will never frown at human beings, he will only protect us with tolerance.

But humans don't know what God is thinking. They will only complain to God about their bad luck.

"Why do I always get nothing?" They always blame god like this.

However, even if he is complained, God will only sympathize with human ignorance and listen to their complaints with love.

Being jealous can refresh you, but others are exhausted. The so-called "being looked down upon" is actually jealousy. Some people say that someone is annoying, but in fact they are envious of others. In fact, people who are looked down upon are often the objects of envy.

Generally speaking, people will try to avoid being jealous. Because jealousy can make people stressed. But jealousy is actually a source of strength. It is natural to be jealous of successful people. Because everyone is eager to succeed. Although I am eager to succeed, I don't want to be envied. Therefore, there is a contradiction.

When you start to be admired, you will feel that you are truly successful. If you succeed once, you may succeed more times.

People who think that they will be appreciated by everyone after their success simply don't understand the true meaning of success.

If you get praise after success, it is not a real success. Just standing in front of most people.

Just like the slave owners among slaves, they are not divorced from the nature of slaves. However, because he is the most respected man among slaves, he will feel "successful" more or less.

In fact, it only succeeded among slaves. But once he got rid of the slave class, he was bound to be jealous.

"Why did he become a free citizen and we were slaves? ! He is really a sly man and a pain in the ass! "

Only when you are envied by others will you really feel that you are out of the original group. If jealousy makes you feel tired, it only means that you have not completely surpassed the original group. Maybe one foot has stepped out, but the other foot is still in its original place. Besides, fatigue may drag you back to your original world. Who is tired, the jealous person or the jealous person? Obviously the latter. Jealousy of others will consume your energy, so you will be more and more tired, and finally it will be difficult to surpass your current group.

Most people must be jealous and tired.

Because there are only a handful of winners. You don't need jealousy to survive in the minority.

Because everyone is a successful person. Being jealous of others will only make you lose energy, but being jealous will gain benefits.

We must realize that jealousy can be a source of our energy.

The first part: the correct method of "being looked down upon"

People who are looked down upon are "lightning rods"

Shelter the people around you

People who are looked down upon have the same function as lightning rods.

When we don't know where lightning will fall, if a lightning rod is erected, the lightning will concentrate on the lightning rod, and no one around us will be struck by lightning.

Out of ten people, it is impossible for everyone to be looked down upon.

There must be only a few people who are looked down upon by others.

If one in ten people likes annoying personality, then the other nine people are in the "safe range".

Besides, these nine people will treat that one coldly.

If a few people are looked down upon by everyone, then the rest can gain inner security and seek spiritual balance by treating each other coldly.

Not everyone can succeed.

Only those who make up their minds will succeed.

And those who have no determination just want God's blessing.

When most people see someone being looked down upon by everyone, they will be glad that they are not the object of being hated, thus gaining a psychological satisfaction and balance.

People who are looked down upon will be attacked from all sides.

However, he can gather all the forces around him at once.

So, "lightning" fell on him.

This kind of person is the most sensitive, the easiest to accept the "current" and stand at the top.

But people around him felt that he was unlucky, because he stood too high and conspicuous, so he was "hit".

Those who are complacent about standing in a low place to avoid lightning will never know the pleasure of being struck by lightning, let alone how to turn the energy of lightning into their own strength.

"Lightning strike" means that God chose you and gave you great strength and energy.

Do you want to be the "lightning rod" of the times?

Then be brave and do something that people look down upon!

The second part: people who are looked down upon change this era.

There are two kinds of people who are looked down upon (1).

"Smart" and "stupid" will be looked down upon; You need both if you want to succeed.

There are two kinds of people who are looked down upon.

One is versatile, smart and dexterous.

In today's society, it is impossible for a person to succeed without outstanding talents.

Moreover, you can't be good at only one talent. You have to have two or three talents at the same time to become a modern winner.

People often comment that such people are "too smart to succeed."

The other kind of people, on the contrary, just focus on one thing to the extreme.

For such people, people will say that they are "stupid and not smart".

Most people don't like being stupid.

However, "cleverness" and "stupidity" are two indispensable elements of success.

"Smart" and "stupid" are not contradictory.

People who are looked down upon will not deny the importance of "cleverness" and "stupidity" to success.

Although people who are looked down upon will be described as "too smart" or "as stupid as an ox", they are the ones who can really succeed.

The first thing to meet the new trend is a cold frown, not warm applause.

Since ancient times, the new trend born in the changes of the times has never been welcomed by flowers and applause.

At the beginning of the birth of new things, it is sure to be cold-eyed.

New things must grow up in disgust, abuse and ridicule.

Unconsciously, laughter turned into applause.

It is absolutely nothing new to be warmly welcomed as soon as it appears.

If you want to create a new era, you must bravely face all the accusations and accept all the ridicule.

You can't judge that you have failed just because no one cheered at first.

Maybe flowers and applause are waiting for you not far ahead.

We should confidently face the criticism and ridicule around us.

People with negative rumors are more likely to succeed.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those with rumors and those without any rumors.

Positive rumors and negative rumors are different.

Successful people usually