Lin's Self-description —— Reading Fang Siqi's Paradise of First Love

Recently I saw Fang Siqi's first love paradise, and I really have a lot to say to you. I'm going to start with Lin, the author of this book, and then talk about my feelings after reading this book.

Lin's family is actually quite good, his grades are good, and he is a literary talent and belongs to the favored son of heaven. However, when I was a sophomore, I got depression. It is said that the disease was seduced by the teacher in the cram school. At the beginning of the book "Fang Siqi", it is said that this story is "adapted from real people", including Lin himself who also said that this is a real story of underage girls being sexually assaulted.

I don't think we can simply read Lin's experience in the book, but we should put her family, academic achievements and life ideals together. I'll say it one by one. First of all, in Fang Siqi's book "Paradise of First Love", Lin's translation contains a self-description expression, that is, "I am rotten orange juice soup, I am a rose and lily crawling with eggs, and I am the Polaris that clearly exists in a brightly lit city, but no one can see it and I don't need it." You can look at these metaphors. Orange juice and thick soup are common foods. Why not throw away the spoiled orange juice and thick soup? What Lin wants to emphasize is that she is rotten orange juice and thick soup. She can also say that she is spoiled with orange juice and thick soup. I think there are two reasons. One is symbolic. Rotten means that she has gone bad and is no longer as pure and healthy as before. If she eats something bad, she will get sick. Who will eat them? Who will continue to eat? Rot did not pour out, indicating that the heart is struggling downward. The longer it takes, the more corrupt it becomes. Even if you don't pour out, you are hesitant and nostalgic. The second is to satirize yourself. Orange juice represents youth, and thick soup has a mature taste. Using the word coquetry shows that I have become an unhealthy person between young and mature. Of course, I still think there are many other things in it, but stop here and continue.

"I am a rose and lily, crawling with eggs." This metaphor is not difficult to understand. Roses and lilies are romantic. The flower language of rose is: passionate love, and the flower language of lily is: beautiful family, noble wealth; This corresponds to Lin's family. But the word "crawling eggs" was added in front of it, which was disgusting. If you have read the book Fang Siqi, you will know how badly Si Qi has been defiled by Li Guohua. Just flip through this book and you will see quite colorful and disgusting pictures. For example, take the example on page 68 of this book:

Fang Siqi's happiness is that the teacher squeezed her body out of the high notes. Happiness is the happiness that the teacher likes to watch her surf in bed.

On this page, there is another metaphor below.

"Pick up the iron spoon and put it away."

Don't say you don't know what Lin is talking about. If you really don't know, you'd better not know. Lin even described the taste. Her literary talent is really good, really pitiful. I won't talk about it. What is an egg? Is it necessary to explain? What is "roses and lilies are crawling with eggs"? Need an explanation?

Then she said that she was "the Polaris that clearly exists, but no one can see it and no one needs it." Polaris is also a symbol of romance, which means "firm, persistent and forever guarding". Polaris can be understood as Lin's ideal. It is said that Lin's dream is: "While writing novels, as Kenzaburo Oe said: from a bookworm to a scholar, and then from a scholar to an intellectual." Her dream is to become an intellectual, but now this dream is out of sight and no one needs it. Her ID, ego and superego have been fragmented under the temptation of Li Guohua. The image of "I" in Lin's translation is "grotesque" made up of pieces of ID, ego and superego. This kind of "grotesque" faintly flashes a once firm and simple dream, but it is at arm's length and slowly fades away.