I feel like I can't live any longer.

What your high school teacher said was a lie to the children. Don't believe it anymore. The balance of life should be maintained from beginning to end, and the relaxed should be relaxed. I didn't understand these truths before high school, and I gradually understood them after I got sick. There are many things that are not as important as I thought.

Actually, what you said is all about school. Personally, I think that a person's life begins with work, in other words, your life has not yet begun. Looking back now, when you were very young, eating less sugar and quarreling with your children were all big things at that time, but how much do you remember now? Life at school is the same.

It's normal that how many people remember college courses after exams and forget them after learning them. There is nothing to regret. Learning is more about constantly looking for a learning method that can be used for a lifetime. Maybe you don't remember what you got full marks at that time, but you should remember the learning methods used in the subjects that got full marks at that time. This method can be used for reference now and in the future.

Besides, what you said is not directly proportional to the return. I can say that the world is like this. Especially in language, some innate conditions are very important. Take Japanese as an example (Japanese is the highest level). After I graduated from college, I took the first grade in more than a year. However, many people have studied Japanese for several years, even worked for several years, but they still failed to pass the Level 2 exam many times. Of course, my language talent is not very good either. I passed the grade more by learning methods and experience accumulated in college for several years. But I have to admit that even if I pass the first grade, my practical ability in language may not be as good as that of many second-grade people.

Besides, about your age. I think you are a whole year younger than me. At the age of one, you are still several years away from thirty. You are still young, and there are many variables in the future.

I don't know much about studying abroad Because I studied too hard in middle school, I got sick later. I have been in college for several years and have been recovering from illness, so I chose a job after graduation and have no intention of continuing my studies.

From my point of view, I think your present situation is partly because you don't have a general plan for your life. You only know how to continue studying, but you haven't seriously thought about what will happen in the future. In fact, to tell the truth, the ultimate goal of reading is to find a job. If the academic performance is not outstanding, it is better to find a job early.

But now that you have chosen to continue studying and study abroad. If you are sure to get your diploma, you should finish it. If you are completely unsure about getting your diploma and don't know how long it will take, you can consider dropping out of school.

Language is such a thing, don't pay too much attention to exams. As long as every grammar and every word is slow and steady, there is no reason not to learn well. CET-4 is enough for basic communication. So I think what you are poor is the method, not the effort.

As for your last paragraph. I want to say. What your parents are most concerned about is not whether you can get excellent grades and have a good job. The only thing they care about is whether you are alive or not. If you die, no amount of money can soothe their old age bereavement. It is not for you to judge whether they are worth it. I used to be excellent, but I am no longer excellent after my illness. I have to take a lot of medicine every day, I can't find a particularly good job, and I can't continue my studies. But my parents just want me to live well, that's all. I think you are the same.

There are many times of pain. I have been ill for ten years now, and the despair and pain I have experienced these years are beyond your understanding. In my situation, seeing your present situation, I think you are very lucky, compared with me. So, stop thinking about how to die and think more about how to live.

I can always find a job to support myself anyway. Whether it is wonderful or not, it will always be the sky in live high.

Blessing ~