Three Obediences and Four Virtues

"Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is the standard requirement of Confucian ethics on women's life in terms of morality, behavior and self-cultivation in order to adapt to the stability of patriarchal clan system and safeguard the interests of patriarchal clan system-in-law (ethnic group), according to the principles of "different inside and outside" and "men are superior to women".

The word "Three Congs" first appeared in the Confucian classic "The Book of Rites-A Biography of Sorrow" in Zhou and Han Dynasties. When discussing the year of mourning for a married woman (three years for her husband and one year for her father), she once said that "a woman has the meaning of' three obedience' and has no way of' special use', so she doesn't marry her father, but marries her husband and dies". As a daughter, wife and mother, a woman should obey a man. However, women have been obedient for a long time, and the word "female" is the image of Oracle Bone Inscriptions in Shang Dynasty. There are hexagrams in the Book of Changes, which advocate that women obey and be single-minded and always serve their husbands. Later, women were asked to be martyred and chaste, and widows were restricted from remarrying.

The word "four virtues" can be found in Zhou Li Tianguan, which is an official position teaching harem women, and is responsible for teaching harem women "Li Yin" and "women's duties" step by step. Among them, the higher-ranking "Nine Wives" is in charge of women's studies to teach nine women's words, looks and virtues. It was originally a category of court women's education, and later it was called "three obedience", which became women's morality and morality.

The so-called "three obedience" means: don't marry from the father, marry from the husband, and the husband dies in the child. It means that girls should listen to their parents' instructions before getting married, and don't contradict the instructions of their elders at will, because their social knowledge is rich and has fundamental guiding significance; After marriage, you should be polite to your husband, keep a house and practice with your husband, respect the old and love the young; If the husband unfortunately dies before himself, he should stick to his duties, find ways to raise the children and respect their philosophy of life. Obedience here is not "following" in the superficial sense, but the essence of "engaging" with the nature of work. ("The Book of Rites, Funeral and Biography of Xia Zi")

The so-called "four virtues" refer to: virtue, tolerance, words and deeds, that is to say, being a woman is first of all moral character, and she must be upright; Then there are looks (pointing out that you should be dignified and steady, and you can't be frivolous and casual), words (meaning that you should be free to add meaning when talking to others, understand what others say, and know what you should and shouldn't say) and the way of running a family (the way of running a family includes taking care of your husband, educating children, respecting the old and loving the young, being thrifty and so on). (Book of Rites, Nine Wives of Tiangong)

Three obedience before marriage, three obedience after marriage, three obedience after widowhood and the four virtues of ancient women in China (virtue, speech, modesty and diligence); Women in feudal society were bound by the spiritual shackles of obedience and virtue.

Third, one of the moral standards of enslavement and oppression of women from the four virtues, namely feudal ethics. The third obedience is' don't marry from the father, marry from the husband, and the husband will die from the child'. The four virtues are' women's virtue, women's words, women's appearance and women's work' (women's virtue, speech, courtesy and women's work).

On the "Three Obediences and Four Virtues" of Primitive Confucianism

Guilin flute? Yihaiqiu

It should be said that this topic is rather big. I can't stand a young man who can't count half a bucket of water to speak here. However, it seems that I rarely see articles with this name, and I feel quite wronged in my heart, so I dare to write.

"Three Obediences and Four Virtues" is one of the descriptions of the realistic social management concept by Confucianism, and it has also been criticized by the society since the May 4th Movement. As "the feudal ruling class discriminates against and oppresses women ethics", it is contemptible. The status of women is relatively low in some historical stages. I admit, Dongpo layman, whom Di Zi respected, once did something stupid to exchange concubines for good horses. But this is determined by the relations of production. What does it have to do with Confucianism? Some island countries also throw infertile old people into the mountains to die!

Look at the source in advance, and first look at what the original idea of "three obedience and four virtues" of primitive Confucianism is, and whether it is what we now know as "a tool to oppress women".

In the original Confucian classics, "three obedience" and "four virtues" are separate, not a concept.

"Three obedience" refers to the Book of Rites? Suburban special sacrifice: "A woman follows people, a young woman follows her father and brother, a married woman follows her husband, and her husband follows her son when she dies." And "Gift Roll Xi"? "Mourning" Xia Chuan: "Women have the meaning of three obedience, and there is no special way. Therefore, if you don't marry from your father, you will marry from your husband, and your husband will die from your son. "Book of Rites? Special sacrifices in the suburbs are about sacrifices. Book of Rites XI? Funeral in midsummer is about funeral. " Funeral is a special work that completely describes the ancient funerals in the Zhou Dynasty, and records the costumes, mourning periods, official positions, relatives and social classes, among which the etiquette of "women" is only a small part. So, what does this passage mean? Context means that women who are not married will go to the same funeral as their father's family because their family relationship is complicated and there is no special rule; If you are married and your husband is still alive, you will attend the funeral like your husband; If the husband dies, he will attend the funeral according to the same rules as the children. As for the description of "suburban special sacrifice", it also belongs to this part of social etiquette and belongs to the same type of concept, so I won't go into details.

Now it seems that this is also a very complete, very scientific and very humanized regulation. Since ancient times, women have been playing the role of human mothers, responsible for human fertility and reproduction, rather than the main role of social production-this is an indisputable fact for any feminist! Otherwise, why do women have more uterus, breasts, fat structure and body structure than men to reproduce human beings? !

It is precisely because of this that our ancestors laid down the rules of "three obedience" so that people can have laws to follow. Imagine if our ancestors didn't obey the "three obedience" and let women handle the funeral for their elders like men, what would society be like? !

After marriage, I had children, my parents died, and there was a "three-year decline". My parents are six years old. Where are my husband and children? Who will take care of it? When the husband dies and the children are still young (there may be several children), what will happen to the children if you don't "obey"?

Therefore, the original Confucian thought of "three obedience" is really a very reasonable and constructive way of social management.

But later, some people interpreted "following" as "following" and "obeying", thus refuting it, which is even more a big joke! "Listen to your father at home and your husband when you get married" can be explained in general, but what about "listen to your son when your husband dies"? It doesn't hold water from arguments and arguments!

China has always stressed filial piety but not benevolence (it's not that saints don't talk about it, but benevolence is out of the question). Only the son has always been filial to his parents. It is not true that a mother will listen to her son when her father dies. Moreover, there are many examples of sons "obeying" their mothers in history. Let's not talk about the example of twenty-four filial piety. Just give a few examples: Liu Huan, the emperor of China, was very filial to his mother when he was king, and he often consulted his mother respectfully after he became emperor; Song Taizu Zhao Kuangyin gave the throne to his younger brother because of his mother's words; After her mother remarried, she changed her surname to Li? Even when the robber was caught by the hero and begged for mercy, he said: there is an 80-year-old mother on the villain?

Are these enough to explain the fallacy of "obedience"? !

Let's look at the "four virtues". "Zhou Li's" four virtues "language? Celestial officer? Nine wives: "master the law of women's studies to teach nine women's virtues, words, looks and merits." "Ban Zhao, the sister of Ban Gu in Han Dynasty, wrote a" Women's Commandment "and made a relatively complete explanation:" Women have four lines: one is female virtue, the other is female speech, the third is female appearance, and the fourth is female merit. You don't have to be clear and unique to be virtuous; There is no need to argue with a woman's words; A woman's face doesn't have to be beautiful in color. (This is called a woman's face. ) full of dust and filth, clothes are fresh and clean, and the body is not dirty and shameful when taking a bath. ); You don't have to have skill to make women's clothes. "

I'm sorry that the flute is shallow in knowledge, but I really don't see the contempt for women in it. Think about how enthusiastic and comfortable women are in the Spring and Autumn Period. To understand this, look at the national style in the Book of Songs, so I won't say it here. By the way, Jiang Shang, the founding elder of the Zhou Dynasty, was chased by his yellow-faced woman in his 80s!

Di Zi believes that even in today's world, women should abide by the "four virtues", which is conducive to the construction of a harmonious society and a harmonious family. Think about it, female virtue is a requirement for female virtue. Can you do it without morality? Can you stand quarreling with your parents and elders every day? Women, don't talk too fast, it is very bad to offend people everywhere. Woman, dress like a skirt, don't pretend to be a demon. A woman's job, it is best to have a skill.

Where is this contempt for women? Oppressed? Suppressed?

Of course, we can't deny that since Han Confucianism, especially after the development of Neo-Confucianism in Song and Ming Dynasties, some Confucian figures have misinterpreted "three obedience and four virtues" intentionally or unintentionally for various reasons, even because of their great wealth. Di Zi thinks that primitive Confucianism is primitive Confucianism, Confucianism is Confucianism, and Neo-Confucianism is Neo-Confucianism. These cannot be confused. After all, there is only one Confucian figure who is called a saint, and there should not be too many disciples taught by saints.

This is another topic.