Analysis of funny horror jokes

Do you like making friends with humorous people as much as I do, because you will be happy every day. In fact, you can be that kind of person, as long as you know one or two sentences or classic funny horror jokes. What follows is the analysis of funny and scary jokes that I have carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

Analysis of funny horror movies (popular movies)

1. A policeman fell into a cesspit and climbed up to become a plainclothes policeman.

A thief washed his hands, but thought of stealing for the last time and came to a family. There are curtains and no lights here. The thief came to the window and was about to open a little curtain when he saw the curtain shake automatically. There was nothing at that time, but then I got goose bumps and ran away.

3. teacher:? Please tell us your wish. ? Xiaoming:? Go to Lan Xiang to study excavators. ? Teacher:? Give me a reason. ? Xiaoming:? Dig your ancestral grave. ? Teacher:? Get out?

Do you see it? Does Xiaohua, a junior high school girl in Xiamen, go to the hospital for abortion? After the news came out, I was shocked that people in junior high school actually called Xiaohua such a rustic name.

5. "Zhou Dedong has nothing to do with it. She went to the movies alone: the fox. In fact, this movie has nothing to do with foxes. This is a story about a group of women who used their beauty to cheat men of money ... Zhou Dedong became more and more angry. What's wrong with women now! Watching, he took his eyes back from the screen and began to look around-it's strange today that the cinema is full of female audiences, and he is the only one! These women are engrossed in watching movies. He pretended to tie his shoelaces, bent down suspiciously and found a furry tail hanging under every seat! "

When he came to see her, she knew that she had fallen in love with him, even though he only came to buy pork. When she saw the woman snuggling up to the man. She was trembling with anger, so she turned and jumped into the meat grinder and climbed into his stomach with the meat he bought? . ? Haha, no one is closer to you than me this time. You only belong to me! ? She thinks highly of herself, and at the same time, she works harder to penetrate into every vascular cell of him? She is sad, and everyone can think that she gave her life, which will turn into feces in a few days, and even the part that is fortunate enough to be transformed into nutrition will be consumed. In fact, she is still far away from him, because there is only one woman in his heart.

7. I had a dream: the teacher woke me up and read my composition aloud. I said I didn't write it. He said angrily, I'll get even with you after class! Then he asked Fang Guoguo to stand up and read aloud. I know this is a dream, and I think: Hey, hey, I will wake up soon and see where you can find me! Just thinking about it, I suddenly woke up and found myself sleeping on my desk. Fang Guoguo was reading her composition with an accent, and the teacher stood in front of me! He bent down and stared at me with a cold smile: Where do you think I can find you?

8. In order to find a boyfriend, young women lied that they had a bachelor's degree and were eventually dumped because their doctoral status was exposed.

On the bus, she sits in the front row and he sits in the back row. There are seats in the middle, but no one dares to sit. At this time, she said to him lightly:? Once there was an ugly man sitting in the middle position, but now he is no longer in this world. ?

10. When I was single, I walked the streets late at night and felt that the stars in the sky were mocking my loneliness! After eight years of marriage, walking in the street late at night, I feel that the stars in the sky are staring at me very unfriendly!

Analysis of Funny Horror Films (Classic)

1. Stop squeezing! A girl yelled at me on the subway. I was afraid that others would misunderstand that I wanted to take advantage of her, so I quickly explained that it was rush hour. With so many people, crowding is inevitable. ? Then why the fuck don't you squeeze pimples on my face? ! ?

I aimed at a deaf person recently. But I didn't expect to have money, so I finally decided to kill him tonight. It's really strange. Looking at his back, he is still doing some strange actions. It seems that his spirit is not normal. Later, it was found that the rich deaf-mute died at home, but at the same time, a person was inexplicably deaf. ? Damn it. . ? I covered my ears angrily, but I couldn't resist the crying around me or shake it. The deaf also laughed. ? Ha ha ha?

3. Everyone knows that treasure is strong, so what? World without thieves? Yes Bao Qiang is an ignorant man. Returning home at the end of the year, holding gold to recruit thieves. He knows nothing about officials and thieves, and the world appreciates his simplicity. Another one? Soldier assault? It is also inspirational to hone the weak into the strong of the country.

4. Parking A rich man borrowed a loan from Wall Street Bank for two weeks. Bank loans must be mortgaged. He used the Rolls Royce parked at the door as collateral. The bank clerk parked his Rolls Royce in the underground garage and lent it to the rich. Two weeks later, the rich man came to pay back the money with interest. The bank staff found that there were tens of millions in the rich man's account and asked why they borrowed money. The rich man said: Wall Street will never find a parking lot for two weeks.

5. "My father told me since I was a child? Daughter, don't believe what men say. Be careful of being cheated! ? I don't know. Ask dad? Dad, can I trust you? "

6. She fell in love with him. Pure white holy wedding dress. God bless the church. The day after marriage. Sweet and ordinary. He stroked her abdomen gently, longing for an extra happiness. Poor God was so lucky that he had an accident and died unexpectedly. She felt fetal movement for the first time in grief. She pushed her way through the crowd and gave birth to his child. When the child was one year old, she asked the photographer to take a picture of a dead person with PS. The photographer handed over the photo he had just taken in horror. She looked at it, but suddenly she began to cry. In the photo, she smiled with her child in her arms. He hugged her and smiled.

7. physical education class wants to do leapfrog. The teacher asked? Who has been injured before? You don't have to do it. ? Xiaohong said:? My foot is broken. ? Xiao Qiang said: I am in wrist fracture. ? Xiaoming:? My umbilical cord is broken. ? Xiaoming didn't roll, but skipped class.

8. The airport is as noisy as ever, full of nostalgia for separation and joy of reunion. Wanderers go home, hug their tearful mothers, and couples travel, looking forward to a romantic trip. Sunlight fell mottled on the roof through the glittering and translucent glass, and the marble floor was brightly lit. Large clean clouds float in the blue sky, forming various strange or lovely shapes.

9. In the evening of campus, boys and girls sit side by side in the corner. The girl rubs her skirt and says shyly, You know, it is said that 90% of girls like the feeling of strong kissing. ? The boy pushed his glasses, thought for a moment and asked, Why do the remaining 10% like unstable walls? Netizen:? The rest 10% like solid walls. ?

10. "A person was bored walking in the street when he suddenly found a slim girl in front of him with a beautiful back and couldn't help but follow. Follow, follow a building. When the man saw her get on the elevator, he stole a look at the elevator number to see which floor she was on. He thought that such a beautiful back must be seen at last. He got on another elevator and got out on the same floor. When he saw the young lady disappear around the corner and follow, he found that only one family hesitated for a long time. Finally, curiosity prevailed, so he put his eyes on the keyhole and tried to look in. Nothing but a red man who was bored and went downstairs. Meet the administrator at the gate and ask the administrator smoothly. Oh! You said that young lady, alas! It's a pity to get over it at a young age. It's really unfortunate! I heard that her eyes were red when she died. "

Analysis of horror stories (selected articles)

1. One day, the blind man fell in love with Lu Jiehua who sang and asked him to kneel and rub the washboard. He sings on his knees? On the verge of collapse, one night, the blind man: the stars in the sky? At this time, stuffy oil bottle coaxed: join Beidou! The poor blind man hasn't found a turning point yet. (That's right, coax it in Northeast dialect)

2.？ Master, teach me how to separate myself. ? First of all, you should have a chainsaw. . . ?

A few days ago, the company just received a business, which was an outdoor advertisement for a voice station. Although most voice stations have illegal operations, there are also many restrictions on advertising. However, the business of advertising companies is getting slower and slower, and the boss will meet the requirements of customers as long as he gives money, no matter how much. According to the instructions, Zhang tried his best to conceive the advertising copy. It only took him half an hour to finish the copy: rolling through the city, the vast sea of people, telling you a safe and passionate world, full of meat and vegetables, with constant climax. Password? Composition is a sexy woman, veiled, showing only two gentle eyes. In the afternoon, the person in charge of the telephone office came to check and accept, and appreciated the idea, except that a line was added next to sexy women? Don't ask me who I am. It's over.

4. I sent a boat to take away your sadness; I held it for a month and slept as I liked; I offer a bottle of wine to wish people a long life; I advise the west wind to rise and give you an autumn wind. Life is full of plants and trees; There are bosom friends at home and bosom friends outside; Spring breeze, autumn rain and winter snow are bittersweet, bittersweet, bittersweet and bittersweet, accompanied by mutual understanding, only peace is permanent; May happiness be with you every year!

5. True story, went to the public toilet to pull the item again, and finally got in line. After I finished, I forgot to bring my paper. I thought there should be free paper outside, and then I went out to have a look. There really was paper outside. I feel saved. Suddenly there was a door closing sound behind the door, leaving me standing at the door with a tissue in my hand, quietly saving me!

6. Xiaoming: I like you, teacher. ? Teacher:? I do not like children. ? Xiaoming:? I don't like children either. We cannot have children. ? Teacher:? Go away! Get out of here! ?

There is a legend in our town: at midnight, you can see a little girl in red with her back to you in any alley. I am a person who is naturally interested in ghosts and gods. That night, I arrived in the alley on time and saw the little girl in red at a glance. I was overjoyed. I'm going to call my friend Li and ask her to see me tomorrow to scare her. The next night, Li and I arrived at the same alley on time, but we didn't see the little girl.

8. The light at the door was dim, but the girl stopped. The doll in the window has waterfall-like black hair and fair skin, exquisite facial features, and the gorgeous Lolita dress is decorated with lace bows. ? Welcome, miss. ? The door of the grocery store slowly opened, and the shopkeeper in a high hat shook the small music box, and the song was soft and soothing. The design of the glass lamp cuts off the light and projects the outline of the rose on the wall. The old record player and glass hourglass on the counter, as well as the ceremony group on the wall, deeply attracted girls. She couldn't help stepping into the room, and the door slowly closed behind her, which also blocked the girl's subsequent screams. The shopkeeper touched the newborn doll with satisfaction, and the doll's face was delicate and delicate.

9.？ There is something wrong with Kazuhiko recently. Have you noticed? My wife suddenly asked me. My son Kazuhiko was covered in bruises the day before yesterday and changed a pair of glasses. I have no time to think about it. I tied my tie for work and parted ways with my wife who was going out to the party. When the time turned to noon, the mobile phone suddenly rang and the wife screamed and cried during the call. Kazuhiko fell from the building at school? Are those children pushing him? Last night, the embarrassing and injured appearance of Ichihiko became clear in my mind?

10. The physical store has finally turned over! They told Taobao and JD.COM with ironclad facts that no matter how awesome internet plus is, it can't compete with physical stores. Is there a fitting room no matter how cheap? Help each other in the same boat for a hundred years and build Uniqlo for a thousand years. Looking for her in the crowd, Sanlitun Uniqlo. The most beautiful thing is not the rain, but you and her in the fitting room!

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