Why was it difficult to get married in Song Dynasty? What was the marriage system in Song Dynasty?

Getting married is a great event in many people's lives. Although there are many people who don't want to get married now, they can't stop the urging of their families. After all, elders and young people always have different ideas. However, even if they want to get married, it is difficult for modern people to get married. You can often see all kinds of roadblocks on the way to get married. However, the marriage of the ancients was not necessarily so simple, especially in the Song Dynasty. Why? Do they have the same problems as us?

1. The same surname is unmarried and even rises to the legal level.

Men and women with the same surname cannot get married, which is a traditional taboo in China. From the Zhou Dynasty to the Qin and Han Dynasties, from the Wei and Jin Dynasties to the Tang and Song Dynasties, China has always had the custom of not marrying with the same surname, and even raised this custom to the legal level. For example, the law of the Song Dynasty stipulates: "People with the same surname get married for two years." If a man and a woman get married with the same surname and are found by the government, they will be sentenced to two years in prison.

Of course, laws are often divorced from reality, and the provisions on paper may not always be implemented in reality.

Cha: "You have a concubine, a prostitute in Qiantang, book knowledge, your character, and so on." According to legend, Zhang Jun, the general of the Southern Song Dynasty, married Zhang Nong, a prostitute in Hangzhou, while Zhang Nong was knowledgeable and well educated. Zhang Jun's daily official documents and letters are handled by Zhang Nong.

Zhang Jun surnamed Zhang, surnamed Zhang. He has the same surname as her, but he is married.

You may think that marriage with the same surname is limited to taking wives, not just concubines. It is not against the traditional custom for Zhang Jun to marry concubines with the same surname. However, the Bible, which is regarded as a traditional custom by Confucianism, clearly stipulates: "If you marry a wife with a different surname and don't know her surname, you can buy a concubine." You can't marry a wife with the same surname or a concubine with the same surname. If you married a concubine during the war, and you can't know her surname, then you should ask the fairy for help and have a good divination. If the divination results show that Yuji has the same surname as you, then she still can't get married.

There were many civil servants and military commanders in the Song Dynasty, and they rarely violated the custom of not marrying the same surname. So far, only one case of Zhang Jun has been found. However, among ordinary people, there are many married people with the same surname. When he was in office, Wei, an official of the Ministry of Rites, said: "Marriage with the same surname is prohibited by law, but ignorant people in Fujian don't know manners, and there are many people who marry with the same surname." Although the government prohibits marriage with the same surname, many people in Fujian violate the ban.

2. Cousin marriage can promote clan interests.

In ancient times, China opposed the marriage of the same surname, but not the marriage of cousins. Here, you may think that Jia Baoyu married his cousin Xue Baochai and Lu You married his cousin Tang Wan. In fact, although intermarriage between cousins was very common in ancient times, Lu You and Tang Wan were not cousins at all.

Many friends think that Lu You's mother's surname is Tang and Tang Wan's surname is Tang, so Tang Wan should be Lu You's uncle and cousin. Lu You's mother's surname is Tang, but Tang Wan is not related to Lu You's mother's maiden. Lu You's mother is the granddaughter of Tang Jie, the minister of the Northern Song Dynasty. He is an official who understands politics, equivalent to Vice Premier the State Council, and his native place is Jiangling, Hubei. Tang Wan is Tang Hong's daughter. This Tang Hong is by no means Lu You's uncle. He is a native of Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, a fellow villager of Lu You, and the son of a small official in Beijing at the end of the Northern Song Dynasty. He has nothing to do with Tang Jie's family.

Many historians mistakenly believe that the relationship between Tang Wan and Lu You is superficial. In fact, this is the result of misreading historical materials. After Tang Wan divorced Lu You, she married a man named Zhao Shicheng. He is the son of the royal family, the grandson of the sixth generation and the nephew of the tenth daughter Princess Qin.

In ancient China, there was no objection to the marriage of cousins and the marriage of the same surname, which had nothing to do with prenatal and postnatal care, but only with clan interests.

Cousin marriage can enhance clan interests. It makes the relationship between this family and that family closer, expands the clan scale and stabilizes the clan network.

What about getting married with the same surname? It is carried out within the tribe and cannot contribute to the tribe from the external relationship, so the ancients supported cousin marriage and opposed marriage with the same surname. In the Spring and Autumn Period, people thought that "intermarriage with the same surname is not a good life", saying that intermarriage with the same surname would lead to crop failure and livestock death. This is a superstitious view, which restricts intermarriage with the same surname through the taboo of ghosts and gods, thus promoting intermarriage between tribes.

3. It is difficult to marry a girl, and Su Zhe "broke the family and married a woman"

As the saying goes, there is no girl who can't marry. Whether the daughter is a fish, a goose or a toad eye, as long as she reaches marriageable age, there will be groups of matchmakers to propose marriage. Boys are in pain. In the vast rural areas, all young people with low education, poor skills, unable to earn a lot of money by going out to work, and parents who are not businessmen or village cadres will inevitably worry about their marriage.

Even those rural boys who are educated and skilled are not so easy to get a wife, because the bride price has become heavier and heavier in recent years. For example, in my hometown, when I got engaged, I didn't give more than 300 thousand red envelopes, and the woman and her parents certainly disagreed. The woman brought a big bed, a TV, an electric car, a red painted toilet and a dresser when she entered the door. It didn't cost much. All betrothal gifts are tied together, and the upper limit is 20,000.

However, in the Song Dynasty, the situation was completely opposite. At that time, it didn't take much bride price to marry a daughter-in-law, but it took a large dowry to marry a girl.

In the first few years in Song Huizong, Su Zhe's daughter is getting married. In order to prepare a dowry for her daughter, Su Zhe specially sold a piece of land she bought in the suburb of Kaifeng, and sold it for 9,400 yuan, all of which allowed her daughter to bring into her husband's family. At this time, it was the late Northern Song Dynasty, with inflation and currency devaluation, but the consistent purchasing power was still equivalent to that of 300 yuan now. How much is 9400 yuan equivalent to now? Three million! Su Zhe said in his diary that he was "a broken family and married a woman". In other words, in order to get his daughter a dowry, he almost went bankrupt.

Yuan Cai, a native of the Southern Song Dynasty, said that a civilian family, if not particularly rich, must make plans for her daughter's dowry when she was very young. In other words, you should save money as soon as possible. You can't wait until your daughter gets married, only to find that you don't have enough savings and can't get a decent dowry, so you have to sell the house. However, Yuan Cai did not say that he prepared a bride price for his son when he was very young, which shows that compared with the marriage of girls, the marriage of boys will not bring great financial burden to parents.

In the Song Dynasty, many civilian families could not afford the dowry and had to leave their daughters at home to get married. For example, in the early years of the Southern Song Dynasty, Ke of Huacheng County in Sichuan discovered that there were hundreds of unmarried old girls under his rule. The reason why these old girls can't get married is not because they are ugly, but because "if you marry a woman, you must be responsible for your own wealth, and poor women can't get married until they are old." The man's parents must make the woman pay a thick bride price, but the poor can't, so their daughter can't get married.

Why was there a strong marriage wind in Song Dynasty? Because women in the Song Dynasty had certain property rights.

According to the laws and social customs of the Song Dynasty, women have property rights, but only dowry. In other words, for the property during marriage, the wife can't share it equally with her husband, but can only control her dowry. No one may use clothes, jewelry, furniture, deed of house, title deed, maid and maid, her in-laws, her husband and her family for any reason. If she and her husband divorce legally, they can take all these brides away, which is naturally a big loss for her in-laws. Smart in-laws will never abuse their daughter-in-law ea for property.

There were so many girls who married him in the Song Dynasty that they even gave red envelopes to the wedding procession on their wedding day. The song script "Epitaph of Teacher Hua Yin Hou" depicts the scene of the wedding procession begging for red envelopes:

When the wedding procession arrived at the door, the best man first read a poem: "The jade hook is hung on the high rolling bead curtain, and the BMW will drive to the door. Li Hongcheng has given a lot of rewards and has been rich and glorious for more than a hundred years. " The dividend market is a red envelope. The share of bridesmaids, matchmakers and sedan chairs is everyone's. Who will deliver it? Bride.

Fortunately, the groom can't hide. When the sedan chair is carried to the groom's house, the master of ceremonies, the band and the deacon who brings tea and wine will stop the sedan chair at the gate to prevent the bride from coming in. They won't let them go until the man gives them a red envelope. It's time to welcome guests to the men's gate. Music officials, prostitutes, tea, wine, etc. They will read poems to each other and block the door for the benefit. " When the groom saw this, he told people to read Dou Eyuan: "A gentleman is not short of money, but he means more. If you want to say it, you will take the trouble to introduce it for a long time. " While reading poems, we distributed red envelopes and scattered millet, beans, candy and copper coins outside the door for onlookers to compete for.

When the bride comes to the door and the groom scatters beans, it can be seen that Gao Cheng compiled Answering Poems in the Song Dynasty. It is said that on the wedding day, three demons will stop the bride at the door. Which three evil spirits? Black-bone chicken, green sheep and green cow became gods. Chickens eat grains, cattle and sheep eat grass, and ancient people in Han and Tang dynasties got married and sowed grains and forage. The food is ok, but the forage is too shabby. Song people scattered beans, candy and copper coins instead, just like candy now.

The bride is carried in the sedan chair, the bridesmaids recite poems, the deacons set off firecrackers, the trumpeter plays music, and the matchmaker helps the bride get off the sedan chair. According to the custom of the Central Plains in the Northern Song Dynasty, the bride should not touch the ground with her feet, but walk into the new house on the blue carpet and sit on the bed waiting for the wedding ceremony. Sister-in-law, children and elderly neighbors all crowded into the new house to watch and comment on the bride's sitting posture. But they can't see the bride's face, because the bride's head has been covered with a red veil, and the groom will only lift it after worshipping heaven and earth.

There is nothing to say about worshipping heaven and earth, except that the bride and groom are dressed in red and tied with knots, and under the guidance of the best man and bridesmaid, they worship the temple for the first time, the temple for the second time, the husband and wife worship the temple and send them to the bridal chamber. When paying homage to the temple, in order to show respect to the ancestors, the bridesmaids will gently lift the bride's veil with a balance beam, so that the long-dead ancestors can see the face of the new wife.

After worshipping heaven and earth, the bride is waiting in the new house, and the groom will come out to thank the guests, attend the wedding reception and propose a toast to the elders, relatives and friends, and female guests. Ouyang Xiu mentioned a very interesting custom in The Stone Forest: "On the wedding night, two chairs are back to back and a saddle is put. The husband was ordered to sit on it, and the wife sent three invitations before going down. It is a wedding ceremony, which means a high seat. " The groom's seat at the wedding reception is very special. It is two back-to-back chairs with a saddle on it. The groom can sit on the saddle and drink three glasses of wine. After that, the woman's guests invited him three times before he came down.

The saddle is flat on the back of the chair, which means "peace"; The groom straddled the back of the chair, indicating "promotion". Actually, morality is not important. What matters is fun and excitement. When everyone plays tricks on the groom, the atmosphere of the wedding will become very lively and festive. This is exactly the same as a modern wedding. The host held a thin thread and tied an apple at the end of the thread for the bride and groom to bite together.