Funny copywriting in a circle of friends that must be praised

1. I recently made a girlfriend, but I didn't expect her family, especially her husband, to disagree. What a vicious attack!

2. A young woman took out the garbage, accidentally slipped in the garbage and was about to get up. She was held in her arms by an old rag-picker. The old man said with emotion: people in the city just can't live, and such a good daughter-in-law said no.

There must be pure friendship between men and women, because every girl who knows me says that she can only be friends with me at most.

4.20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "

Someone asked me how to live alone in this materialistic society, and I replied: not because of poverty!

6. In the current commodity building, the upper and lower floors are almost one apartment, and even the toilet and bathroom are in the same position. Have you ever thought that whenever you go to the toilet, once there is the sound of flushing upstairs, someone will shit on your head.

7. What is wrong with being ugly? As long as I don't look in the mirror, it's not me who is disgusting.

8. The young couple got into a fight and threw a pillow downstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. Then he flew away from the quilt. The beggar was ecstatic and cried upstairs with tears: Eldest brother, please throw that woman down.

9. An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

10. Grandpa said, "Today is my birthday." Grandson asked, "What does birthday mean?" "Birthday, that is, grandpa was born today." Hearing this, the grandson opened his eyes wide and said, "Wow, how did you grow so big today?"

1 1. Watching two children quarrel, one of them said to the other: Do you believe I slapped your father? The other said, I don't believe it. Then that Xiong Haizi slapped himself. Turned and left.

12. Who can tell me what happened to 1982? Grape massacre? Why were there so many Lafites in' 82?

13. The Weaver Girl came down to take a shower, got to know the Cowherd, and interpreted a love story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so she must go outside to take a bath. ...

14. I am worth tens of millions, with countless luxury cars, private luxury restaurants and modern farms. Since I lost my QQ number, I have nothing. ...

15. There is a little wolf. He was born a vegetarian, not a meat eater. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot!

16. When I was sick as a child, my mother always made a cup of coffee and said that foreigners drink this. I've always been afraid of coffee. It's bitter and bitter. When I grew up, I traveled all over Starbucks and went to the island, but I couldn't find the taste I drank when I was a child. Until one day, I drank Radix Isatidis. ...

17. At this age, it's embarrassing. Half of my friends have become parents, and the other half are so drunk that they don't even know their parents every day.

18. Wife: "Why do you go to the balcony every time I sing?" Husband: "I want everyone to know that I am not hitting you."

19. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I haven't had time to take off my pants yet!"

20. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

2 1. Tell the truth! No matter what the fortune teller says you lack in the five elements, in fact, at a certain age, you will find that what you lack most is money! Jin Kemu Muketu won't say it. Tucker water. Water can burn fire. Hawkkin, as long as you are poor, you can burn anything!

22. In junior high school, the class teacher always arranged the most beautiful girl to be my deskmate, which was envied by other students. After graduating from college, my work is progressing smoothly. I went to thank the teacher. I came to visit with a gift and talked about it. The teacher smiled and said to me, "Nothing, just afraid of puppy love, so I was arranged to be your deskmate."