How to get your ex to get back together, and how to attract your ex to get back together with you?

In fact, all psychological construction and compound skills are based on human nature. Grasping human nature is half done, and so is redemption.

Some redeemer, have read many articles about redemption. You can also remember some common recovery techniques, such as disconnection, reconnection and secondary attraction. Some people try these methods and find that they don't seem to have much effect on themselves. Relations may have eased, but there has been no substantial progress.

Others have tried to disconnect, but they are trapped in how to add contact information back. From then on to the end, until the other party gets married and has children.

These are all because you have not mastered the core of these recovery technologies. Without flexible recovery thinking, just doing some measures will naturally have little effect. Just like you only know 1+ 1=2, but you don't know 2- 1= 1,

Back to the question itself, "How to attract the ex to take the initiative to get back together", then you should grasp the thinking logic of the ex and then guide ta to take the initiative to get back together. The premise is that you should take the initiative to promote the relationship, instead of waiting for ta to come to you.

-Mentality building has been mentioned many times in the article before giving what ta needs, so I will mention it again here. After being lovelorn, your negative emotions fill your life, and you feel sad, lost and miserable. These are inevitable, face up to your vulnerability and allow yourself to exist.

However, set a deadline for yourself and don't be too immersed in negative emotions. When you feel that you can't let go of ta, think more about how ta let go of you and help you adjust your mentality.

When we first separated, ta's psychology would not be as painful as yours. If you are not sure about ta's psychological state, do the exact opposite of you. After all, at the moment of breaking up, you are in an "opposite" position, ta thought.

Go ahead. You want to stay.

When you are in love, you can lead the relationship according to your own thinking. When saving, we should guide ta to you according to the other party's ideas, instead of forcing ta to make a decision. No one likes being forced. There is a rebellious element in human nature.

Just like a very obedient child, in the face of parents' coercion, the idea of running away from home has also bred in his heart.

Therefore, in order to attract ta to take the initiative to find you, the first step is to follow ta and accept the breakup.

There is only one way to make others willing to do something. That is, give what ta needs to ta. Ta needs to be separated now. You should follow ta's heart, give what ta needs, and let Ta be willing to get back together with you in the future.

Breaking off diplomatic relations is also based on such human nature, following each other and adjusting one's status at the same time. Adjusting the state is not only an adjustment of mentality, but also a change of attitude towards ta, which can make ta intuitively feel your change.

Because when ta broke up, she imagined a lot of situations in which you were entangled, and even thought about how to deal with your entanglement. Maybe I didn't expect it, but you will accept it gladly. This gap will make ta feel a little uneasy. These subtle emotional points are all favorable factors to guide ta's return in the future, so you need to grasp them well.

Second, two days before the framework was established, I met a new visitor. Call him Xiao Zhang for the time being. Before consulting me, Xiao Zhang saved his ex-girlfriend for nearly a month according to some online methods, but she showed no sign of turning back.

Xiao Zhang showed me her ex's circle of friends. It can be seen that her daily life is more substantial and she often goes out to play. On the other hand, Xiao Zhang's circle of friends failed and his emotions were extremely repeated.

Originally, his ex-girlfriend chased him, but now she is struggling to retain him. Do you have the same situation?

In fact, this is because you fell into the framework of your predecessor. The low end of the framework means low value and low status. No matter how much you invest in your feelings, it is difficult to gain the dominance of your feelings. So after breaking up, if you want each other to get back together, then you have to build your own framework and dominate your relationship.

How to build a framework? Reduce emotional input

There is no denying that you are far less attractive to your predecessor. If you want to bridge this gap, you may increase your emotional input. However, long-term investment will make your feelings unbalanced.

It must be hard for you to let go of your predecessor's withdrawal, but you are still investing. Therefore, to build your own framework, we must first reduce the investment in feelings.

Since there is a gap in attraction between you, you should make up for it instead of filling in the blanks with emotional input. The most straightforward way is to turn your attention to yourself and concentrate on doing your own thing.

Guide each other to invest.

Firstly, a concept-"concordance effect" is introduced. The original intention was to invest a certain cost in something. After reaching a certain level, I found that it was not suitable to continue, but I was unwilling to give up the cost, so I chose to continue.

For example, you bought a movie ticket. After watching it for five minutes, I found that the film was a bit boring, not your type, and I wanted to get up and leave. However, considering that this movie ticket cost 40 yuan, I still choose to continue watching it.

This is the obvious "concordance effect", which is also true in intimate relationships.

If the other person lowers the frame, your frame will naturally be higher. However, it is still necessary to control your emotional input, temporarily distract your energy, and your mentality can be revised accordingly.

Third, enhance your attractiveness. When I saw the title, I knew that I was going to talk about self-improvement. Here, I won't introduce many ways to improve myself. Generally speaking, the methods of self-improvement are external and internal. Assigned to different people, the actual operation method is very detailed, and it is not easy to write in detail. (You can leave me a message for details ~)

Self-improvement is to enhance your attractiveness. Reflected in human nature, everyone likes to attract. In psychology, attraction can lead people to move in a certain direction.

Borrowing this principle, why did the other party choose you? Essentially, you attracted TA, and TA chose you. Your breakup is also the best proof of your decline in attractiveness.

Attraction will be reduced, but it can also be improved and even created. Since everyone can't resist attraction, you should believe in yourself first, and then attract each other.

Introduce several ways of attraction: similar attraction;

The same hobbies, interests, ideas, etc. Let the other person feel that chatting with you is very tacit, so they are more willing to communicate with you.

Of course, this also requires your usual observation of each other. You should know each other well and know each other's interests. But I don't think it is difficult for you people who used to be lovers to get to know each other.

When you have a good communication foundation, you won't be embarrassed when you invite in the future.

Demand attraction:

That is to meet each other's needs, such as psychological, material and emotional.

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not asking you to be a bed partner or lick a dog. Everything should be measured. You focus on meeting each other's emotional needs. After all, you are not lovers now, and your physical needs don't need to be met.

For example, if the other person likes to warm men, then you should do something warm-hearted; If the other person likes gentle girls, you should turn down your voice.

Make appropriate changes according to yourself. If you can basically meet each other's emotional needs, you will gain emotional dominance to a certain extent. You can hang up ta properly and pretend that you don't want to get back together. ta may take the initiative to save you.

Appearance attraction:

That is, external image attraction. Everyone has a love of beauty.

Boys are tolerant of the handsome same sex, not to mention the good-looking girls.

Girls can't bear to be angry with handsome guys at all. Seeing that face, I was half angry.

Seeing faces is also a kind of human nature.

Fourth, manufacturing can not meet the above three points. If the previous work is not done well, this operation is difficult to be effective.

Although the ultimate goal is that the other party will take the initiative to get back together with you, in the early stage, you still need to take the initiative to guide. In other words, you should take the initiative to contact each other, show your changes to ta, and express your concern and care for ta.

You can't. You want it back, but you can't Gamble if you want. If you win the bet, the other party will come back to you. If you lose the bet, you may miss the best time to save it. However, according to long-term consulting experience, after breaking up, the probability of the other party taking the initiative to turn back is low.

Moreover, if you take the initiative to be nice to ta, even if ta has nothing to say, it will gradually form a habit. For example, you chat with ta every week and send some small gifts on holidays. In fact, these are all traces left by you in ta's life.

(P.S. On the premise that you can communicate normally, the other party will no longer reject you)

When ta becomes a habit, you begin to gradually reduce the frequency of contact. The other party will definitely feel a sense of loss and begin to wonder, why not suddenly find taT? Are you going to give up?

This sense of loss will make the other person want to chat with you, because chatting with you has become a habit of ta. And some people who are more determined or passive will forcibly suppress their desire to find you.

At this time, we can strike while the iron is hot, which will make some unavailability. A common but cautious way is to show each other that there are other suitors.

In fact, this method has advantages and disadvantages. Personally, if the operation is improper, the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages.

For girls, the disadvantage is that girls with high PU are not favored by boys.

For boys, it's easy to disappoint each other. Seeing another girl beside you will make her feel lost and deny your love for her. Ahmadinejad (through translator): It seems that you don't love me so much. You are looking for a new home. )

So this method, it is best to get professional guidance, otherwise it is easy to backfire.

Another gentler way is not to let the other person eat you completely. You can work hard to keep fit, study and work, make your life colorful and reduce your contact with ta.

You know cats play with ropes, right? Only what you can't catch, but can see, will play harder.

Some people may worry that if I take a break, the other person will turn to others. What should I do?

It is unlikely that this will happen. But if during your short withdrawal period, the other party finds someone else instantly. That proves that you are really dispensable to ta. In fact, there is no need to save it, because you have done enough, you have worked hard, and you can completely put it down.

Next, let's talk about the vast majority of situations. Your short-term withdrawal will trigger the other person's "loss-averse" psychology.

When people face the same amount of gains and losses, the loss is even more unbearable.

For a simple example, if you lose 200 yuan, the impact on you will definitely be greater than if you earn 200 yuan. Because the negative utility brought by the same loss amount is 2.5 times of the positive utility brought by the same gain amount.

Therefore, you have left a mark on each other's lives, and your kindness to t a has become a habit. When you start to pull away, the other person's heart is pulled tight. After a short withdrawal, the other party's "loss aversion" psychology will soon be reflected.

Yes, you are afraid of losing each other, and the other person is afraid of losing you.

By the way, why do you think the other person is not afraid of losing you when you break up? Because other shortcomings in you are more unacceptable to ta than fear of losing you.

It is also human nature to hate and fear loss.

If you want the other person to get back together with you, you must grasp human nature and the other person's thoughts. Whether emotionally or socially, you should understand that all skills are based on human nature.