Learn to heal the pain caused by family background! (original)

A few years ago, there was a hit drama "The Temptation of Going Home", in which the Korean heroine Choo Ja Hyun caught my eye with her beautiful appearance and good acting skills. In the play, she was divided into two parts, and her personality was greatly reversed. One is gentle and kind Lin Pinru, and the other is the winner of Gorgeous Turn, Gao Shanshan, which can be said to portray the characteristics of the characters vividly. From then on, I was deeply moved by this actress, and at the same time I was a little curious about her life experience. Thought, her life should be very satisfactory, but unexpectedly, she is the real Lin Pinru.

Choo Ja Hyun is a Korean star. She works hard and is very dedicated. When she came to China from Korea, she studied Chinese hard, which not only made her career prosperous, but also gained valuable love. 20 14, participated in a reality show "Stars Come to My Home". As a Korean daughter-in-law, she wants to "marry" to experience the life in rural Yunnan. She has a good relationship with the mother-in-law in the play. Her mother-in-law also told her that she couldn't get the blessing of her family when she was in love, so she had to elope in the end. These past events deeply touched Choo Ja Hyun and reminded her of her growing experience.

Choo Ja Hyun has lived a hard life since he was a child. Her parents divorced when she was a teenager, and then they formed a new family. When she was very young, she had a younger sister who drowned in an accident. The death of my sister caused great pain to my mother's heart, and even she was almost insane. My mother turned this sadness and pain into hatred and scolding for Choo Ja Hyun, and kept scolding her, "Why aren't you dead?" . As long as she doesn't do well enough, her mother will scold her and say that she should die for her sister. Not only that, in her family, there is a strong sense of son preference. Because she is a girl, everyone dislikes her.

Many years later, Choo Ja Hyun said, "I can make money now. I send money to my father and my father gives it to my grandmother, so my grandmother wants to see me so much that I won't go. My father's seven brothers all have sons, only our family is two daughters, so grandma often scolds her mother because she has no son! Now that she is old, I will go to see her, sorry mom! " Imagine how much courage and pain it takes to get Choo Ja Hyun to say such a thing.

Because of this family background, no matter how difficult it is, Choo Ja Hyun tries his best to stick to it. When she first debuted, she also took sexy photos in order to enhance her popularity; When filming, I stayed in the hotel to read the script and didn't go anywhere; When she doesn't know the language, she studies and practices hard. Now she can speak fluent Chinese.

Choo Ja Hyun once said, "I can't sleep if I don't work hard." Continuous efforts have led to today's achievements. Only by not complaining about the bitterness of fate can we have today's happiness. She said so and did the same. Now, she has achieved a successful career and a happy marriage, and has become China's daughter-in-law and achieved a happy life.

It is said that life is like a play, and play is like life. Isn't our life like a film and television drama, a realistic version of joys and sorrows? How much effort and pain is needed to truly cure the brand of family lineage on us! !

Yesterday, I went to a friend's early education institution, L.L. and I met at a tea party on Chinese studies on 20 15, with fair skin and regular facial features. Should be full of sunshine age, but slightly melancholy. On the other hand, he is also a financial manager of a bank, but he seems to have no enthusiasm for this job. He wanted to precipitate and sublimate himself by studying and spreading Chinese studies, and he was also interested in early childhood education, but his family opposed him.

A few words of communication did not fully understand his thoughts at that time. Only once, we left contact information with each other, but it's been three years, and we haven't contacted each other. It's just that when we asked our friends for help, we learned more or less about the recent situation. A few days ago, I saw him posting information about early education courses and enrollment in a circle of friends, only to know that he really began to turn his dream into reality.

I have always been very interested in children's education. I invited me to visit his early education center, and I was glad to go. The early education center is located in a quiet community center, surrounded by primary schools and kindergartens, but there are also other different types of learning counseling institutions nearby. Although the geographical location is good, the competition is fierce.

When I arrived at the early education center, I saw L standing at the door waiting for me with a smile. Still slim figure, delicate and fair face, the same as three years ago. He showed me around the center, with simple and bright decorations, lively classroom atmosphere, bright green and yellow tables, and white walls painted by children, and my inner joy was full in an instant.

After sitting down, l helped me make tea with a bright smile in my eyes. "Elder sister, I'm so glad you can come today. I haven't seen you for three years, and I still feel the same as you, "I said. Yes, I haven't seen him for three years. It seems that we met for the first time three years ago, and there is no sense of disobedience, but I feel that he still has a touch of melancholy!

We talked about the initial intention of education, his entrepreneurial dreams and difficulties, and enrollment and marketing. Finally, he said, "Sister Ye, to tell you the truth, I am actually very tired now. I feel trapped in a quagmire. I can't leave, but I can't leave. " I know what he means, because the early education brand I joined is a new brand, and it is not perfect in curriculum system, training system and enrollment marketing, which leads to many difficulties in his operation, especially the brain drain. Often, several children signed up, and then a few days later, the teacher said that he wanted to go to other industries and left, which made him particularly entangled; Not only that, because the marketing system of the headquarters is not in place, enrollment is also a big problem. Listening to his narrative and looking at his slightly wrinkled brow, I can feel that his inner pressure is great at this time.

At this moment, l's cell phone rang. He lowered his head and made no answer. He smiled shyly: "Nothing!" !

Because I have more than ten years of experience in brand planning, I was particularly touched by the difficulties I heard from L, so I provided him with several suggestions and implementable activity plans on the marketing planning of early education center, suggesting him to try. In my spare time, as a "children's reading promoter", I often participate in reading guidance in some schools and activities. I asked L, "Do you have a reading room here?" "Yes, there is a big library with many original picture books in English and Chinese!" I replied. I walked in the direction he pointed, and he followed.

In the innermost part of the center, there is a large reading room with bright colors. On both sides of the wall, there are six big red, yellow and green bookshelves with all kinds of beautiful and brand-new Chinese and English picture books neatly placed on them. There are lovely desks and chairs and lazy sofas in the middle of the reading room, and there are plastic cushions on the ground for children to sit on and read.

We sat face to face at the low table, talking about reading promotion from picture books, from reading promotion to public welfare activities, and then promoting enrollment with public welfare reading promotion activities. Suddenly, he suddenly got angry: "My reading room has been unused, because there are few children, and the teacher always moves." I don't know how to use this reading room. After what you have said, I also think that doing public reading promotion will attract more children and parents to participate in the activities. " In addition, I especially like to take my children to read! Ye Zijie, you came in time today! "He suddenly revealed a particularly happy smile. This smile is the first time I have felt a bright smile since I met him and saw him again today. At other times, his smile is full of faint depression, but it is always not so cheerful!

At this time, the cell phone bell rang again, and he pressed it again! It rang again in two minutes, but he hung up and still didn't answer!

I'm a little curious, "why don't you pick it up? Maybe there is something urgent to find you! " He squeezed out a slight wry smile: "It's my mother. She has nothing to do, and she just likes to call me when she has nothing to do." "The mother may want to talk to you, so don't go to pick her up will be worried? Old people sometimes call their children, maybe she is too lonely and wants to talk to us, and my mother sometimes does, "I told L gently. "

"Ye Zijie, I think it's really easy to talk to you. To tell the truth, the sight of my mother makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't even want to answer her phone. She is a person who is easily alarmed and nervous. As long as she is uncomfortable, she will bring this emotion to me. As long as I get along with her, I feel depressed everywhere, unhappy everywhere, uneasy every day, worried about this and that! This may be what others say, the feeling of being born in a family brings me! I used to be enthusiastic, but when I heard her talk, I became timid and didn't know what to do! " I finally understand why every time he looks at his mobile phone, his tangled expression stems from his incompatibility with his family.

"L, each of us can't choose what kind of family we were born in, let alone what kind of parents we are. We are all imperfect people, how can we force our parents to be perfect people? Mother's worry and panic may come from the lack of sense of security in life, because she can't get it from her own family and existing family, so she will pay more attention to her children. We must be considerate of her! " I looked l in the eye and said.

"I also know that she is good for me, otherwise I wouldn't have lived as well as I do now. But her worry makes me feel no happiness at all, and it is often a good thing that people are uncomfortable when she surprises me! When I had no children, she made me burn incense and worship Buddha every day. Having children, she urges me to be grateful every day. I am overwhelmed by her every day, which makes me unable to concentrate on my work and is difficult everywhere! " L then said, "Sister Ye, do you know why I studied Chinese studies three years ago?"

I hesitated a little: "If I'm right, you should want to find a place to put it in your heart with the help of Chinese studies, so that you can really settle down and be less anxious and depressed?" L, I mean, from the first time I saw you, including seeing you again today, your smile has always been depressed. It was not until we talked about picture book reading just now that you really laughed! You've been suppressing your emotions and making yourself unhappy, right? "

L's eyes are red and there are tears in his eyes. He said, "Sister Ye, I didn't expect to talk to you so much today. Although we really only watched it for the second time, we really hit it off. Thank you for understanding me! "

I was moved by his emotions, but actually I was moved by myself. My eyes were sour and I wanted to cry, but I finally held back. Because of his feelings, I have also deeply felt that the past I experienced since I was a child brought me more than just panic and worry! Those helpless moments made me complain about the injustice of life countless times.

I told him: we are not only lucky, at least we still have parents, no matter how wrong they are, but at least they still have love; Among all the kindness, the kindness of tolerance is greater than the sky, and what hatred can be worth this great kindness; Being born in a family has brought us pain, and we are also suffering from depression and pain. Now that we have become parents ourselves, how can we create a family atmosphere for our children? This is the most important thing now; You are now engaged in the early education industry, the baby has just been born, and the atmosphere is so good. What a good chance to heal yourself!

All the negative energy in your heart needs to be released through a gap. You can talk to friends with positive energy, do more things to help others spread love, learn to accept parents' imperfections and faults, forgive your own bad emotions, and learn to heal your inner pain in the emotional flow of understanding and being understood, loving and being loved. I wrote an article about the topic of family background before, but I really couldn't laugh when I saw that all my friends around me were suffering.

When I was leaving the early education center, he walked me to the door, suddenly stopped me like something, and then went back to the office. When he came out again, he was holding a "gauze soup coupon" (in the south, it is a cake coupon for relatives and friends after giving birth).

"Ye Zijie, for you. After ten years of marriage, I finally have my own baby. My wife has suffered a lot in order to have a child for so many years, and she has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars. I really think it's not easy to have a baby! " ......

I took it and said to him, "I, bless you. Now that you are a father, the baby has come so hard. What else can we not forgive our mother? " Let's turn ourselves into a beam of light and illuminate ourselves and the people around us with love, so that happiness will be more!

L's tears have already overflowed my eyes. I waved goodbye to him! Friend, bless you, I hope your early education career is getting better and better, and I wish you get out of the haze of your family as soon as possible and become more and more happy!