What are the important decisions in life?

If you have reached the age of 18, then you may have to make two most important decisions in your life-these two decisions will profoundly change your life and affect your happiness, income and health. These two decisions may make or break you. So what are these two major decisions?

First of all, how will you make a living? In other words, what are you going to do? Be a farmer, a postman, a chemist, a forester, a stenographer, a veterinarian, a university professor, or a street vendor?

2. What kind of life partner would you choose?

For some people, these two big decisions are usually like gambling. Harry Emerson stitch wrote in one of his books: "Every little boy is a gambler when he chooses how to spend his holidays. He must gamble on his days. "

So how can we reduce the gambling of choosing holidays?

First of all, if possible, try to find a job you like. Once, I asked David Gulich, the chairman of Gulich, a tire manufacturer. I asked him what is the first condition for success, and he replied, "I like your job." He said: "If you like what you are doing, you may work for a long time, but you don't want to work at all, but it's like a game."

Edison is a good example. This newsboy, who never went to school, later completely changed the industrial revolution in America. Edison works hard in his laboratory almost every day 18 hours, and eats and sleeps there. But he didn't feel bitter at all. "I have never done a day's work in my life," he declared. "I have endless fun every day."

So he will succeed!

I once heard Charlie Schweber say something similar. He said: "Everyone who is engaged in the work he loves infinitely can succeed."

Maybe you will say, how can you have a love for work when you have just entered the society and have no idea about it? Mrs. Edna Carr, who once employed thousands of employees for DuPont and is now the deputy general manager of public relations of American household products company, said: "I think the greatest tragedy in the world is that so many young people have never found out what they really want to do. I think it is the most pitiful thing for a person to get paid only by work and have nothing else. " Mrs. Carr said that some college graduates came to her and said, "I have a bachelor's degree in literature from Dartmouth University or a master's degree from Cornell University. Is there a position in your company that suits me? " They don't even know what they can do or what they want to do. Therefore, it is no wonder that so many people are ambitious and full of rose-like dreams at first, but after forty, they have achieved nothing, suffering, depression and even mental breakdown. In fact, choosing the right job is also very important for your health. Dr Raymond from Jones Hawkins Hospital and several insurance companies jointly conducted a survey to study the factors that make people live longer. He ranked "the right job" in the first place. This is just in line with the famous saying of the Scottish philosopher Carlyle, "Bless those who find their beloved jobs, and they don't need to ask for other happiness."

Recently, I had a long talk with Paul Bunton, the personnel manager of Sokoni Oil Company. In the past 20 years, he has contacted at least 750,000 job seekers and published a book called Six Ways to Find a Job. I asked him, "What is the biggest mistake young people make in job hunting nowadays?" "They don't know what they want to do," he said. "This is really shocking. A person spends much more time choosing a dress that will wear out in a few years than choosing a job that will affect his future destiny-and all his future happiness and peace are based on this job. "

What should you do in the face of increasingly competitive society? How should you solve this difficult problem? You can take advantage of a new industry called career guidance. Maybe they can help you, maybe they will hurt you-it all depends on the ability and personality of the instructor you are looking for. This new industry is far from perfect or even started, but its future is very bright. How do you use this new science? You can find such an institution near your residence, and then take a career test and get career guidance.

Of course, they can only give advice, and it is you who make the final decision. Remember, these counselors are not absolutely reliable. They often disagree. They sometimes make ridiculous mistakes. For example, a career counselor once suggested one of my students to be a writer just because she has a large vocabulary. How ridiculous! It's not that simple. A good work is to convey your thoughts and feelings to readers. To achieve this goal, you need not only a rich vocabulary, but also ideas, experience, persuasion and enthusiasm. The professional counselor who suggested the girl with rich vocabulary to be a writer actually accomplished only one thing: he turned an excellent stenographer into a frustrated quasi-writer.

I want to make it clear that career guidance experts-even you and me-are not absolutely reliable. Maybe you should find more psychological counselors and judge their opinions with common sense.

You may wonder why I always say something depressing in my articles. But if you understand that most people's troubles, regrets and frustrations are due to not paying attention to the choice of work, you won't find it strange. You can ask your father, neighbors or your boss.

John stuart Miller declared that it is one of the greatest losses for society that workers can't adapt to and like their jobs. Yes, the worst thing in the world is that industrial workers hate their daily jobs.

Do you know what kind of people are the first to "collapse" in the army? They are the people assigned to the wrong department! I don't mean the soldiers who were badly hurt in battle, but the soldiers who collapsed in ordinary tasks. Dr. William Monningji, one of our greatest psychiatrists today, was in charge of military psychiatry during World War II. He said, "We find it very important to select and place people in the army, that is, to let the right people do the right jobs, and the most important thing is to convince people of the importance of what they do. When a person loses interest, he will feel that he has been put in an extremely wrong position, that he is not appreciated by his superiors, and that his talents have been buried. We will find that under such circumstances, even if he is not mentally ill, he will bury the prelude to mental illness. "

Yes, by the same token, a person will have a nervous breakdown in business. If he looks down on his job and career, he may also screw up.

The case of Phil Johnson is a very convincing example. Phil Johnson's father opened a laundry, and he asked his son to work in the store, hoping that he could work in the laundry in the future. But Phil hates laundry work very much, so he is always perfunctory and listless. He only does what he has to do, but he insists on not asking about other jobs. Sometimes, he just sneaks out to play.

His father was heartbroken and thought that raising a son who didn't make progress made him lose face in front of the employees.

One day, Phil told his father that he longed to be a professional mechanic and work in a machinery factory. What? Everything starts all over again? The old man was very surprised. However, Phil stuck to his point of view. He put on greasy and dirty coarse work clothes, worked harder than the laundry and worked longer hours. But he was so excited that he whistled at work. He studied engineering courses, installed machines and studied engines. He died in 1944, when he was the president of Boeing Company, making the most advanced bomber at that time and helping the Allies win World War II. What will happen to him and the laundry if he stays in the laundry under his father's majestic orders, especially after his father's death?

I think the whole laundry will close down and get nothing in the end.

Even if it will cause family disputes, I still want to advise young people who have their own interests: don't force yourself to engage in a certain industry just because your family wants you to, unless you like it. Nevertheless, you should seriously consider the advice your parents gave you. They are much older than you, and they have gained the kind of wisdom that can only be summarized from many experiences and past years. However, when it comes to the final decision, you must make the final decision yourself, because in your future work, it is yourself who feels happy or sad, not others.

Having said that, I now give you the following suggestions, some of which are for your reference when choosing a job:

1 Read and study the following suggestions about choosing a job. These suggestions are provided by the most authoritative people and formulated by Professor Keith, one of the most successful career guidance experts in the United States.

(1) If someone tells you that he has a magical system that can indicate your "career orientation", then don't ask him. These people include bone readers, astrologers, "personality analysts" and handwriting analysts. Their methods are ineffective.

Don't listen to people who say they can give you a test and then point out which career you should choose. This kind of person fundamentally violates the basic principles of vocational counselors, and must consider the health, social and economic conditions of the coachee; At the same time, he should also provide specific information about employment opportunities.

(3) Find a career counselor with a rich collection of career materials and make proper use of these materials and books during the counseling period.

(4) A complete employment consulting service usually requires more than two interviews.

(5) Never accept correspondence employment counseling.

Avoid choosing occupations and careers that are already crowded. In America, there are more than 20,000 ways to make a living. Think about it, more than 20 thousand! But do young people know this? They don't know unless they borrow a crystal ball from a fortune teller. And the result? In a school, two-thirds of boys choose five occupations-five out of 20,000-and so do four-fifths of girls. It is no wonder that a few businesses and occupations are overcrowded, and it is no wonder that the self-led class has a sense of insecurity, anxiety and "anxiety psychosis". Pay special attention, if you want to enter the crowded circles such as law, news, radio, movies and "glorious career", you must make great efforts.

3 Avoid choosing industries with only110 survival opportunities, such as selling life insurance. Every year, thousands of people-usually unemployed-rashly start selling life insurance without asking in advance. According to Franklin Bittger of Philadelphia Real Estate Trust and Construction Company, the following is the real situation of this industry. In the past 20 years, Mr. Bittger has been one of the most outstanding and successful life insurance salesmen in the United States. He pointed out that 90% people who sell life insurance for the first time are very sad and depressed and give up within one year. As for those who stay, one person in 10 can sell 90% of the total sales of 10, and the other nine people can only sell 10% insurance. Put another way: if you sell life insurance, your chances of giving up and quitting within one year are 90%; The chance of staying is only 10%. Even if you stay, your chances of success are only 1%, otherwise you can barely make ends meet.

Before you decide to devote yourself to a career, take a few weeks to have a comprehensive understanding of the job. How can we achieve this goal? You can interview people who have been in this industry for more than twenty or thirty years.

These conversations may have a far-reaching impact on your future. I know this from my own experience. When I was in my twenties, I asked two old people for career guidance. Looking back now, those two conversations were obviously a turning point in my life. In fact, it is hard to imagine what my life would be like without those two speeches.

How can you get these career guidance? For the sake of explanation, we assume that you will become an architect. After you make up your mind, you should spend a few weeks visiting qualified architects near you. You can find their names and addresses in the classified section of the yellow pages. You can call their office whether you have an appointment or not. If you want to meet, you can write to them as follows:

Can you do me a little favor? I 18 years old, considering studying as an architect. I hope I can accept your guidance. Before I make a final decision, I want to ask you a few questions.

If you don't have time to guide me in the office, but are willing to set aside half an hour to guide me in your home, I will be very grateful.

I want to ask you a few questions:

If you were given another life, would you still be an architect?

After you look at me carefully, I want to ask you, do you think I have the conditions and qualities to be a successful architect?

(3) Is there no room for redundant people in the profession of architects?

If I take an architecture course for four years seriously, will it be difficult to find a job? What kind of job should I take first?

If my level is second-rate, how much money can I expect to earn in the first five years?

What are the disadvantages and advantages of being an architect?

If I were your son, would you encourage me to become an architect?

If you are too shy to meet the "big shot" alone, here are two suggestions to help you.

Find a partner your age to go with. Can increase each other's confidence. If you can't find your peers, you can ask your father to accompany you.

Remember, if you ask someone for advice, you are giving him honor. He will feel respected for your request.

Remember, adults are always willing to give their own suggestions and advice to young men and women. The architect you asked for advice will be happy to accept your suggestion.

If you don't want to write to make an appointment, you can go directly to that person's office and tell him that you would appreciate it if he could provide you with some professional guidance.

Suppose you visit five architects, who are too busy to see you (this rarely happens). In this case, you visit the other five. Someone will meet you and give you valuable advice. These opinions may save you from long-term confusion and loss.

Remember, you are making one of the two most important and far-reaching decisions in your life. Therefore, before you take action, you should spend more time exploring the true colors of things. If you don't do this, you may regret it all your life. If economic conditions permit, you can pay the other party a reward to compensate him for half an hour's time and advice.

Overcome the super misconception that "you are only suitable for one occupation". As long as you are normal, you can succeed in many occupations. Similarly, every normal person may fail in many occupations at the same time. Take myself as an example. If I am prepared to engage in the following occupations, I believe I will have more chances of success than other occupations, and I will also feel deeply happy about my work, including: agronomy, fruit tree cultivation, scientific agriculture, medicine, sales, advertising, newspaper editing, teaching and forestry. On the other hand, I firmly believe that I don't like the following jobs: accounting, shorthand, engineering, hotel or factory manager, architectural designer, mechanical affairs, and hundreds of other jobs.

-Quoted from The Complete Works of the Advantages of Human Nature by Yanbian People's Publishing House.