It is better to make mistakes than to miss them. ! What can I do to avoid leaving regrets?

The essence of life is made up of countless choices, big and small. Even identical twins with identical

It is better to make mistakes than to miss them. ! What can I do to avoid leaving regrets?

The essence of life is made up of countless choices, big and small. Even identical twins with identical congenital conditions will embark on a completely different life path because of their own or others' decisions after birth.

Although we often say "learn from mistakes", many things are not that simple. It is true that we can learn to drink rationally after a terrible hangover, or review our attitude towards others after a failed relationship, but opportunities lost because of mistakes rarely miraculously come back to us, because "we have learned our lesson."

After all, life is not playing video games. Even if you fail, you can save yourself by reading files. The more important life decisions are, the harder it is for us to get a chance to "try again" and make those failures more unforgettable.

Life is not playing video games, and you can't read files all over again. Giphy, this "if I have? Is it just? We call it "regret".

There are so many things you can regret in life, but have you ever thought that these regrets that make your heart ache to death at present will bring the same discomfort in a few days, months or even years? Or at the end of life, what things will leave deep regrets in our hearts?

We regret not doing anything more than making mistakes. Bronnie Ware compiled the cases she came into contact with in hospice care into a book called "Five regrets before dying: life changed by the departure of relatives". In the book, Brownie mentioned five things that people regret most when they die, namely:

Do you find that these five regrets all come from "things you didn't do well in time" rather than "things you did wrong"? Interestingly, if you think about the root of these regrets again, it is actually because we are too afraid of "making mistakes", so we shrink back at the critical moment and dare not advance.

This does not mean that the influence of bad behavior is relatively small, nor does it mean that we are not too concerned about the consequences of our actions, but it is related to the psychological mechanism behind our "doing" and "not doing".

The aforementioned "If I have? Is it just? Thinking context is actually a cognitive circle called "counterfactual thinking", and it is also one of the main sources of regret. Although the essence of anti-realistic thinking is an overhead simulation, it is precisely because "another possibility" will not happen, let alone be verified, that we will fall into its infinite loop.

Anti-realistic thinking is an overhead simulation, but because "another possibility" will not happen and cannot be verified, we will fall into its infinite loop. Pixabay, in some things that can be mended after the sheep dies or will not cause great losses, anti-realistic thinking can make us reflect on our behavior, learn lessons and avoid the same problem from happening again in the future. However, in the face of "missing is missing", we may realize that no matter how hard we try and grow, we can't recover what we have lost, which makes anti-realistic thinking amplify negative emotions such as regret.

In this context, we can see the difference between "doing something wrong" and "not doing it".

Psychologist Dennis? In her past research on regret, Denise Beike found that people will show significantly higher regret intensity for things that can't be remedied in the foreseeable future, because we know that we can't do anything. In contrast, Dennis's research also found that "closure" can reduce our regret and loss of past mistakes, which means that even if we can't guarantee that we can recover from the past, the choice of "can we make efforts" will seriously affect the degree of our regret.

There may be a chance to make up for "doing wrong", but "missing" can't make up for what has been lost. Pixabay, the mistakes we made in the past will create new possibilities after time has passed, such as making up with friends who have torn their faces because of small things, reconnecting with family members who are drifting away, or re-entering school to pursue their dreams and start the second spring of life. But "inaction" itself is cutting off the possibility, so that the question mark of anti-realistic thinking has been hanging in my heart, which has become an insurmountable hurdle for my future life.

A life without regrets begins with being honest with yourself. As mentioned at the beginning of this article, everyone's life is made up of countless decisions. As decision-making becomes more and more important, we will inevitably hesitate and gain and lose. These are normal psychological activities. It is easy for human beings to feel anxious and uneasy about the unknown, which is also a supernatural technology of "predicting the future" such as numerology divination, which has existed since prehistoric times and even affects our thoughts today.

When we ask God for advice, we just want to have inner peace, so that supernatural beings can recognize our upcoming decision. However, no matter how many ghosts and gods we consult, the only person who can be responsible for these decisions is always ourselves.

In other words, in the long run, a clear conscience is the most important consideration when making a decision.

We often say "be careful to sail a ship for ten thousand years", but excessive caution will make the ship forever inseparable from the port and become a useless decoration. As long as you can give a clear and reasonable motive for the current decision, put aside the worries that hold you back and let go!

YOLO (you can only live once)! There is only one life, so put aside the troubles that make you shrink back and let go! Instead of worrying about this and that, Pixabay should try the "five-second rule" advocated by Mel Robbins and "fire" himself before the brain has a chance to stop it. Even if the result is not satisfactory, these setbacks will become valuable nutrients in your life, and you may have a chance to pull back a city in the future.

A person's life is made up of countless choices. When we worry about "making the wrong choice" and constantly avoid choosing, we actually stop the progress of life. Over time, even if we really don't make mistakes, it will become a stagnant pool that has lost its vitality. It's better to follow your heart and have a wonderful trip.

Related labels: five-second rule, anti-realistic thinking, psychological self-blame, Yahoo's new worm pi radar carnation.