Funny copywriting that is most suitable for copywriting

1. I rented a house with my girlfriend for two years. Recently, I found that sometimes it takes her more than an hour to take a shower, and the door is locked. Why? Depressed!

2. When I was at school, my back itched, so I rubbed it on the chair. The teacher saw it and said, "Don't arch like a maggot!" " "I said," if I were a maggot, wouldn't there be shit everywhere around me? "A female comrade said," Isn't that teacher a fly? " The whole class burst into laughter.

A young man was found pulling a girl's long hair in a shopping mall and called the police ... why did you do that? The young man said: Recently, some friends from my hometown came to see me. I put some long hair on the bed, and my friends saw that I was doing well.

4. The most embarrassing thing when I was a child. I quarreled with my female classmate, but I didn't quarrel with her, but my corns fought with her, and then I didn't hit her. My scratched face was covered with blood. The teacher saw me in class and asked me what happened. I didn't have the courage to tell the truth and say that I was caught by a cat. As a result, she hit her again after school because I called her a cat.

My daughter-in-law is at her parents' house. Call me: will you buy me a dress when you come? You know the size. Me: OK! So I went home and rummaged through the wardrobe to find out the skirt she had bought before. She only wore it once and was forgotten in the corner. When it was delivered to her home, my daughter-in-law repeatedly praised me: Very discerning, this skirt is quite suitable.

6. I run during the school sports meeting.

1500m, I asked how I could run fast, and they said I could run fast without underwear, so I became confident.

Sure, but I ran away the day I ran away.

300 meters, just

300 meters, the fucking egg is broken. Damn it, I promise I won't hit you when you come out.

7. I bought a little turtle for my daughter at the end of last year and died during the Spring Festival. I didn't tell her for fear that she would be sad. Just now, she picked up some pebbles and asked me to take them home for the little turtle to eat. I said the little turtle was missing, and she asked why. I said, I'm sorry, my mother raised the little turtle to death. Dudu was silent for a while in tears and said piteously to me: Mom, you should be careful not to raise me to death!

8. I bought an e-cigarette recently, and it feels good. I stuffed it into my jeans pocket when I went out yesterday. Maybe the jeans are too tight on the switch. The whole subway people were watching my crotch smoke, and I was still absorbed in my mobile phone, completely unaware of it. Until a kind buddy patted me, dude, you seem to have blown up!

9. At the class reunion last night, my long-cherished class flower got drunk, so I sent her home. On the way, she hugged my waist tightly from behind and said drunkenly, I am cold. Can you roll up the window? My mood was very complicated at that time. After all, I ride a bike! 10. I found that my wife has become witty recently. She sets two alarm clocks every morning. When the first alarm clock rang, she brought in underwear and stuffed it into my stomach. Wait until the first alarm clock rings.

When two alarm clocks rang, I put them on, got up at once, and left me lying under the cold bed ... 1 1. "Why did you do that?" Officer Li closed the file and said slowly. "I am a poor man, and I am afraid of being poor all my life. I'm afraid my son is like me, so ... ""I can understand your parents' difficulties, but ... "Officer Li changed the subject." Is that why you sold your son to the rich? ! "

12. "Students, what do farmers in Taiping Heavenly Kingdom want most?" "I want to find a wife!" "No, what they want is money. What do they need money for? " "Take money to buy a daughter-in-law." "Get out!"

13. My nephew was very naughty yesterday. My brother said to him angrily, "Rui Rui, do you know that I really want to hit you now?" My nephew said two words with a look of hatred, "Bear with it!"

14. I just squatted in the toilet. Then the aunt who cleaned the toilet came to clean and knocked at the door and asked, hello? I said inside: no. Then my aunt came in. Then fill the brain by yourself.

15. My boyfriend's Australian mountain fire hit the farm and tens of thousands of sheep were burned to death. User comments: It's a pity. Why didn't you send a plane over the fire?

16. Yesterday my girlfriend said to me, "Do you know why you want to see me?" Me: "I don't know!" Girlfriend: "Because I am a fairy who came down to repay your kindness!" " "I looked at my girlfriend and said weakly," You'd better go home. I think you're here for revenge! " "

17. I just went to film pasting, and there is a children's rocking car opposite. There is a little golden retriever who refuses to leave and sits there. His master was involved, and then the woman couldn't stand it, that's all.

18. What a coincidence to see the girl opposite. When the boss came over, he was furious and said, I said you are still a person. You don't do good things every day. What is there to see? Go out to work if you are worthless. When the landlord left, he turned around and saw the boss's telescope with a sly smile.

19. Seeing a friend calling the same number several times in a row, the other party never answered, obviously feeling very lost. I can't help but come forward to comfort: the other party must have heard it. I just didn't answer. You must have made it annoying? Who knows, he shouted at me angrily: get out, it's not you whose mobile phone was stolen!

20. Cover the sheet and put it on your body to play the role of the queen. Put chopsticks in your head, and you will feel uncomfortable. When you are seriously ill, you will feed yourself candied beans with one hand and water with the other, and you will still say "The emperor is so cruel to his servants", and then you will choke to vomit blood ... You will direct and perform a deep palace complaint, almost every two days!