Throw your own sketch script

Remarks: The italics in the lines were later deleted when the sketch was replayed in the CCTV series Wonderful Moment. This line should be "Don't be yellow, don't gamble, don't flatter", and Shen Teng let slip here.

Shen Teng-Hao Jian

Mary Ma Jingjing

Director: Du

Hao Jian: It's over, it's over, it's over ... something big happened. The old director of our unit was accidentally photographed by a fly, and another one was posted on it. Oh, no, one, impatient, started the rectification as soon as he took office. At this juncture, our section chief summoned me and told me that I usually have so many minor problems that I am expected to lose my job this time. Oh, it's over.

Ma Jingjing: (snores when sleeping)

Hao Jian: (enters the section chief's office) section chief Ma, section chief Ma.

Ma Jingjing: (awakened by the alarm) Huh? Oh, Xiao Hao, come in, come in!

Hao Jian: Sorry to disturb your sleep.

Ma Jingjing: Nothing. I want to take a nap. I won't delay. (Take a glass of water) Sit down!

Hao Jian: (shivering on the sofa)

Ma Jingjing: How are things at home recently?

Hao Jian: No problem until I see it. I'll leave it to fate!

Ma Jingjing: I heard that you like playing table tennis when you have nothing to do at work?

Hao Jian: I criticize myself for being too playful, and playing table tennis harms others and myself. If I play table tennis again, I will waste my hands. I don't ... I refuse pornography, gambling, table tennis!

Ma Jingjing: Let me tell you this. This newly transferred director Du also likes playing table tennis. Do you know what to do?

Hao Jian: Boss, you're embarrassing me. The best thing I can do is not to fight. How dare I, chief?

Ma Jingjing: (stands up) Hao Jian, your ability to understand intentions is poor. The reason is that you don't want to make progress in thought. I tell you, if you go on like this, you will be a clerk all your life.

Hao Jian: Really? I'm relieved. My job is finally stable!

Ma Jingjing: Hao Jian, now your hobby collides with the leader's hobby. What kind of opportunity is this? This is a good opportunity for all your ancestors to cheat their bodies! Don't you have a crush?

Hao Jian: What's so exciting?

Ma Jingjing: Come, come, you sit here. You see, you are the only person in our department who can play table tennis. If you can play table tennis and make the leader comfortable, then you will become a red man around the leader.

Hao Jian: Red man?

Ma Jingjing: Wei Xiaobao wrestled with Kangxi. What did Wei Xiaobao finally become?

Hao Jian: Where is the eunuch?

Ma Jingjing: Well, you don't need to understand. Starting today, the only task of your daily work is to practice table tennis. Put that work aside and give priority!

Hao Jian: Then I can't leave my job and just play ball with the leader. That can't be an apple polisher.

Ma Jingjing: Who are you talking about? Who are you talking about? Do what you can, leave if you can't, and leave that position for me. I really told you that there is no shortage of people who can play table tennis in our country!

Hao Jian: Ma Kechang, I didn't mean that. I thought about it. You said that you played a game with the leader, and you became the red man around the leader. This is not true.

Ma Jingjing: Not really? Hao Jian, I regard you as one of my own now, and I will take you here step by step. (Open the laptop on the desk)

Hao Jian: (Leaning forward) Leadership preference chart?

Ma Jingjing: I tell you, I can clearly tell every leader's preference, constellation, blood type and date of birth. Well, I like fishing, so I dive into the water and hang the fish on his hook one by one; Well, I like playing mahjong, so give him a gun to listen to (four sounds); Well, I like Wan Wen, so I will bring my great-grandfather's relics to wear a string for him; Well, like me, ... (suddenly shuts down the laptop), so, Hao Jian!

Hao Jian: Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute ... Why did you buckle it at the critical point?

Ma Jingjing: Hey.

Hao Jian: That's what I want to hear.

Ma Jingjing: All in all, now you know how I got here.

Hao Jian: I see. If I don't talk about you, section chief, your flattery is your inheritance.

Ma Jingjing: Who are you talking about? This mouth.

Hao Jian: Oh, bah, bah, bah. Why do you think I can't chat? Why do I make people angry when I speak? I also want to know. I found that at every meeting, the leader only nodded and smiled at you. Is it? Is this because you are more beautiful?

Ma Jingjing: It's not just that. I'm telling you, the meeting was tough. As soon as the leader speaks, as soon as he throws out his opinion, I immediately give one (pretending not to understand), huh? The leader thought, what, are you questioning my meaning? When he finished, I didn't even know what he was talking about, so I immediately told one (suddenly realized), oh! I want the leader to feel that I was baptized by his words, which was a great enlightenment. Finally, I stood on the same team as the leader.

Hao Jian: Oh, listen to you and subvert your outlook on life.

Ma Jingjing: So, Hao Jian. You should not only play well with the leader, but also make the leader only want to play with you. Let him think of you when he thinks of the ball, and tickle when he thinks of you. bend ...

Hao Jian: I see, just let me set up an image of being beaten.

Ma Jingjing: Ha ha ha. ...

Hao Jian: Well, if I need to be beaten, can I become a full member?

Ma Jingjing: More than turning positive. Captain Hao, is my office yours?

Hao Jian: Oh, no, no, no,

Ma Jingjing: Manager Hao?

Hao Jian: Oh, yo, yo. ...

Ma Jingjing: Manager Hao, hey, come on, Manager Hao, come and sit down. Manager Hao, sit here and feel (pushing the chair to the office), sit down, sit down.

Hao Jian: No, no, no. ...

Ma Jingjing: Feel it and sit down. ...

Hao Jian: (slowly sitting in a chair) Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, let's try to be a leader, too. Oh, this chair is very comfortable. No wonder you always sleep at work. Oh, if I sit in this position from now on, I can't die.

Ma Jingjing: Ha ha ha ... Manager Hao, you can sleep as you like?

Hao Jian: (repeatedly waving his hand to refuse) Oh, (suddenly the phone on my desk rings, so I pick it up) Hello, this is section chief Hao, who's calling? Director Du, ah, I'm sorry. Where is the number you dialed? It has been turned off. ...

Ma Jingjing: (rushing to grab the phone) Get up, hey hey, Director Du, right. I'm here, I'm here, ah, here, here, there was a crossing line just now, right? Can you come over now? Ok, ok, oh, great, I just have good news waiting for you here! (Put down the phone) The director will be here soon!

Hao Jian: Here he comes. Where are we going to play?

Ma Jingjing: I have prepared it for you. (Walking to the table tennis table in the office) The old director went in, and I was in charge of his mahjong table. You can play here in the future, and I am your referee! What about Hao Jian? This is not an ordinary ping-pong table for you. This is the ladder of your life!

Hao Jian: (with tears of gratitude) Your Excellency!

Ma Jingjing: Cough!

Hao Jian: In my Me Before You, my life is in vain. I took a detour. Thank you, Director Ma.

Ma Jingjing: Hey.

Hao Jian: No, Director Ma.

Ma Jingjing: Alas, I dare not, I dare not, manager Hao?

Hao Jian: Oh, Director Ma, it's only a matter of time!

Ma Jingjing: No, no, manager Hao!

Hao Jian: Work hard, work hard, Director Ma!

Ma Jingjing: Ah, (holding Hao Jian's hand) win-win, win-win!

Hao Jian: Win-win, win-win!

Ma Jingjing: Stay in the mood and get ready to fight-

(The background music plays the athletes' March, Hao Jian starts to practice table tennis, and Ma Jingjing arranges her hair on her mobile phone. )

Hao Jian: Sai! Sai!

Director Du: I will punish anyone who plays table tennis again in the future!

Ma Jingjing: (stunned) Huh? Director Du, oh, Director Du, what's wrong with this? Hao Jian waves to Hao Jian, hides the racket in his clothes, and puts the other one on the bookshelf.

Director Du: You don't know who it is. Ah, I found that I like playing table tennis. Now some comrades practice in the office during working hours. What do you think this is?

Hao Jian: (quietly walks to the table tennis table and wants to hide the net)

Ma Jingjing: Oh, Director Du, it's no big deal to play table tennis.

Director Du: Playing table tennis is an active and healthy sport in itself, but if it is used to its liking, it is a bad style! I turned my face and saw Hao Jian holding a net in his hand.

Hao Jian: (wraps the net around his neck like a scarf) Really!

Director Du: (walks up to the front and points to the net around his neck) Scarf? With counterweight.

Hao Jian: It's windy. My mother is afraid of losing it.

Ma Jingjing: Hey, (pulling the director away quickly), the new little comrade in our unit, come on, director, sit down and talk.

Director Du: General Manager Ma.

Ma Jingjing: Hey-

Director Du: You are an old comrade.

Ma Jingjing: Hmm.

Director Du: Now there is this work style problem in our unit. Should you take the lead?

Ma Jingjing: I said them! I said that even if you practice again, it is impossible to reach the level of Director Du. That man, Director Du, is a champion every year in his former unit. therefore ...

Director Du: Hey, hey, don't kiss my ass. I was the runner-up one year.

Ma Jingjing: Ahahaha.

Director Du: Actually, I'm not very good at table tennis. How do you think I won the championship that year? It's all water

Ma Jingjing: Yo, it can't be all water. Didn't you just say that you won the second place in a year?

Director Du: Yes, I was the deputy director that year.

Ma Jingjing: It stands for ... ah, ha, ha, ha. This is ... what a pity, haha. ...

Director Du: Good, good, far, far away. Hey, you just told me on the phone that there is good news waiting for me. What good news?

Ma Jingjing: Ah, ah? Ok ... that's ... oh-what's that? (Turning to Hao Jian standing to one side) The director asks you, what's the good news?

Hao Jian: Are you asking me?

Ma Jingjing: (Nodding)

Hao Jian: (pause) My last name is Hao, and my name is Hao Xun.

Director Du: (shaking his head helplessly) Your name is Hao Xin?

Ma Jingjing: Ah, his mother gave it to him. What are you talking about? Ha ha ha. ...

Director Du: Then what do you want to see me for?

Hao Jian: What did you say I wanted to see you about?

Ma Jingjing: Huh?

Hao Jian: If you can't guess, I'll give you three days. Tell me when you guess.

Ma Jingjing: It's impolite for you to come back here. The director is asking you something.

Hao Jian: It's so hard to make up lies that my brain will explode.

Ma Jingjing: At least you made up one ..., you thought of one here, and then you ..., and then you left.

Hao Jian: When those people are working, he always plays table tennis there. (Ma Jingjing nods and walks back to her seat. ) scrambling to scream, affecting Ma Kechang's sleep-

Ma Jingjing: Yes! (I fell to the ground before I sat down)

Hao Jian: Writing materials-

Ma Jingjing: Ah, ah!

Director Du: (Nodding) Is it just a small report to me? This little comrade reflected the problem in time, just after I understood the situation.

Ma Jingjing: Is it redundant?

Director Du: Do you have Jane in your department?

Ma Jingjing: Ah-ah.

Director Du: As far as I know, this young man has a strong business ability and is a good prospect. The organization decided to give him a permanent job.

Hao Jian: (suddenly jumping up) Ah!

Ma Jingjing: (clutching her chest in fear) Ouch, ouch.

Hao Jian: I have to ... I'm so happy for him.

Director Du: (stands up and walks towards) Hao News, you should learn more from comrades. (Take off the net around Hao Jian's neck) There is no shortcut to work, so you can only be conscientious and down-to-earth. Besides, it's nothing. Don't always give yourself this stage name. (reloading the net on the table tennis table) Otherwise, you wouldn't dare to accept the good news. So sad!

Hao Jian: Minister, this is Hao Jian. Sorry, I was wrong.

Ma Jingjing: That's enough! Is this your fault? (pulls away) Director Du, it's my fault. If you want to talk, talk about me. It was my lax ideology and neglect of management that made him a stage name carelessly. (Staring at the ping-pong table) Oh, my God, this is the ping-pong table. I don't even know.

Director Du: That's enough! Ma Jingjing, flatterer, black sheep, the relevant departments have mastered your problem. I just want to have a look today, which really opened my eyes. Don't take the state's money to do serious things, take shortcuts by flattering and wait for treatment! (Not in the office)

Ma Jingjing: (panicking) Director Du, Director Du, I was wrong. Director Du, please give me another chance! (crying and chasing out the door)

(Looking at the table tennis racket that fell to the ground) Something big happened, and the section chief Ma of the unit was also photographed. I understand now that if I want to be a competent cadre, I must refuse pornography, gambling and table tennis. Don't always think about what leaders like, think more about what ordinary people need! (Not in the office)