Selina: There is no pure happiness in kneeling for love. A brave woman brings her own light.

This article first appeared in Love is a Technical Activity.

In an exclusive interview with ELLE, Selina said that she had three lives.

The first paragraph is a natural life. She is a happy and romantic little princess.

The second paragraph is that after the burn, she experienced a sudden change in her life and had to work hard to survive. We saw the brave transformation of the princess.

Now is the third period of her life, and she wants to find her true self and handle her relationship well.

Who's Selina?

SHE is a member of SHE, a women's group that once swept the country.

She made her debut as a sophomore, became famous early, had a smooth career and lived a rich life. With money, beauty and love, Selina feels that she is the luckiest person in the world.

However, an accident in the filming process split her life.

54% of the whole body was burned, which not only means that she has to bear great pain, but also means that she only has a 46% chance of survival. And after surviving, she has to face the ugly scar that will accompany her all her life.

She once doubted life. "Why did God choose me? Why did you let me fall into hell at the peak of my happiest and luckiest life? " .

Fortunately, she came out, very hard, it goes without saying.

After the injury, her fiance, A Zhong, took good care of Selina, but Selina didn't have much confidence in the face of systemic burns. She offered to break off her marriage several times, but Ah Zhong refused.

20 1 1,1October, they entered the marriage hall with hundreds of millions of blessings, and their stories became a model of never giving up, which made many people who were hurt by love believe in love again.

Unfortunately, fairy tales all end in marriage, but reality has to stumble.

On 20 16, Selina and Zhang Chengzhong divorced peacefully.

Looking back on this marriage, Zhang Chengzhong said: "If there is no burn, getting married is nothing, and if there is no burn, breaking up is nothing. But with this burn, I broke up with her, and it became a big deal. I want to marry her, which is great. "

This marriage was bent by morality from the beginning. Kneeling for marriage is not pure happiness, but mixed with too much morality and gratitude. What should be a happy marriage has become a burden.

For Selina, A Zhong never gave up in the most difficult time of her life. She wanted to repay his persistence with the love of the rest of her life. It's just that the injured shadows and ferocious scars make her feel inferior, and some of them are swayed by considerations of gain and loss.

The more delicate Ah Zhong takes care of her, the more humble and uneasy she is. In marriage, she can't hold back, and the more she lives, the more nervous she becomes.

Zhang Chengzhong likes watching news or sports channels, but she is only interested in variety and drama. She just sat there bored and had to keep Doby's pet Pinky.

Zhang Chengzhong doesn't like dogs, never cleans Pinky's excrement, and even covers her ears with toilet paper, while Selina regards Pinky as a part of her life.

Her husband is taciturn. Looking at his scars, Selina often breaks down and cries.

Zhang Chengzhong is not happy either.

He bluntly said that although he saw many photos of burns on the Internet, he still wanted to vomit when he saw the scar on his wife's leg.

He was frequently photographed by the media dating beautiful women, angrily calling "I am not a saint".

He thought he would never leave, but in the end he failed to beat himself.

They once loved each other deeply, but they went through hardships and tribulations. Zhang Chengzhong was kidnapped by morality, and loving her became having to love her. Selina was kidnapped by gratitude, and the original equal love began to become humble.

When love is wrapped in morality and gratitude, pain is greater than happiness. Being a husband and wife is too hard.

Because they love each other, they are very calm when they are separated, without any resentment and unwillingness.

Selina said: "We have known each other for nine years, and there is not only love between us, but also affection and friendship. We have lost our love and don't want to lose our family and friendship. "

Life has hit Selina again and again, but she is not depressed.

She doesn't like sports, but now she loves the marathon, and she can even finish the 2 1 km half-horse race without fear of sunburn.

She is enthusiastic about public welfare and works as a visually impaired runner. While running, she also wants to tell her visually impaired friends about the beautiful scenery along the way, which is kind and warm.

She propagandizes disaster prevention knowledge, showing herself to improve public safety awareness, confident and beautiful.

She angrily denounced unscrupulous merchants and admitted that "Scar not fade away, all the beautiful photos you saw were completed by me with a sincere smile and a lot of retouching software", which was frank and responsible.

After eight years of injury, she stripped off her old self, new skin and new life bit by bit. She learned to face up to suffering and accept her imperfect life.

She can talk freely about injuries, scars and divorce.

Now, her ex-husband, Zhang Chengzhong, began to help her deal with the company's legal problems and give advice on her love. They lost their love, but they really kept their friendship and affection.

Reconciliation with the past has made Selina more confident and calm.

20 19, Selina started from the third period of her life, and she wanted to meet her romantic self again. She wants to be the old self full of girlish heart, princess heart and love, and has not dated for ten years.

Experiencing love in the program made her feel very safe, which gave her the courage to participate in Daughter in Love.

However, when a love is really in front of her, she has some doubts and is not very confident.

She frankly believes in the existence of love, "but whether I believe that love will happen to me is another matter."

She laughed, "I have the courage to divorce, why don't I have the courage to accept love?" She also comforted herself with "lower my expectations first, the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment".

She is really serious about this love experience.

She expected to fall in love with ordinary people, but what appeared in front of her was Derek Chang, a star 1 1 years younger than her. She thinks that Derek Chang likes herself only because her head is broken.

But Derek Chang told her firmly, "I came to this program because I knew it was you." .

Derek Chang, 26, once "cut his liver to save his father". He is filial and kind to the sunshine, and he is a warm big boy.

He made a special trip to ask Ella Selina's preferences, starting with describing their favorite pets. He took her to the seaside to ride horses, watch the sunset, take her to taste delicious food and sing.

The sense of embarrassment between the two disappeared bit by bit, until when they were making pottery together, Derek Chang's fist was unmatched, and Selina suddenly reached out and held his hand, and finished their work together.

They began to travel in matching red and green clothes, hung lanterns and wrote down their wishes to each other. Selina wants Derek Chang to be happy, and Derek Chang wants Selina to find someone who loves her.

When flying lanterns, Selena, who was afraid of fire, shouted nervously, and considerate Derek Chang let her go first, which made her feel safe.

Derek Chang brought her long-lost happiness, and she also summoned the courage to prepare for confession.

But Derek Chang is going to resign. The death of grandma gave him a great blow, and he couldn't continue the program.

Selina lamented fate, "why does my life always seem to be a little worse?" When something beautiful is about to happen, I finally missed it with him? " .

Fortunately, Selina is relieved in the new issue.

She carefully prepared seafood spaghetti and pinned it on him with her own brooch.

Derek Chang personally made a photo album, recording this period of time and cherishing the bits and pieces between them.

Open the book of answers, Selina's 20 19 is in full bloom. She was so excited that she claimed to blossom. "I'm going to tell my agent that I don't want to do it this year, and my mother is going to fall in love."

In fact, whether this relationship can go on or not, I don't think Selina is afraid. She already has the answer in her heart.

She wants to be a real, soft and unconstrained self, and anything can happen in the third life.

As Selina hoped, "Please don't say congratulations to me, just bless me. If I really live the life I want and make sure that I am really happy, I will be congratulated".

There are many women like Selina in life.

They either experienced emotional pain and loss, or hesitated because of men's abandonment, or felt inferior because they had no money or were ugly. They "kneel" in love, weaving their own happiness.

But they don't know that once they kneel, happiness is no longer pure.

Only by letting go of the past, being brave and confident and having equal love can we have real happiness.

Just like Selina's lyrics in "Look at me", "Look at my regret, look at perfection, look at my generosity and look at courage. Gentle and strong, charming and stubborn enough, I have stepped into the red carpet. "

After suffering and pain, love, hate and parting, a brave woman can shine without lighting a lamp.

I hope all women who have experienced pain can get out of the haze, rebuild themselves, get out of their own lives and reap their own happiness like Selina.

Author: Luo Yu, left hand writes love, right hand writes heart. Write words with temperature and live an attitude life.