A funny joke that makes people laugh to death

A funny joke that makes people laugh to death

A funny joke that makes people laugh to death. In daily life, we can watch more funny jokes in our spare time, which can relieve the pressure of work and make ourselves laugh. Next, I will take you to know more funny jokes that make people laugh to death.

Funny jokes that make people laugh to death +0

1, I swear I'll chop my hands if I surf the Internet again. I found out I'm Guanyin with a thousand hands.

2. It is said that skipping breakfast is a chronic suicide, staying up late is also a chronic suicide, and playing computer and mobile phone for too long is also a chronic suicide. All of them are chronic suicides, that is to say, I committed suicide 365 days a year without doing anything else!

3. Why do you buy clothes every year and have no clothes to wear every year? Because you have more temperament every year, last year's clothes don't deserve you this year.

4. God is fair. If he gives you an ugly look, he will definitely give you a very low IQ, so as not to make you appear uncoordinated.

5. After working hard for three years, I returned to my hometown with nothing. I thought my mother would be furious. I didn't expect my mother not only didn't scold me, but also comforted me: Son, you don't have nothing, at least you have the face to come back.

6. I can't solve any problems that can be solved with money now.

In today's society, it is useless to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it turns into popcorn, the runner will still run.

8. People still have to dream. Even salted fish should be the saltiest one.

9. Big data shows that quitting smoking can prolong your life span for nearly ten years. So if you quit smoking again and again, you will live forever.

10, do you know why beautiful women have been unlucky since ancient times? Because no one cares how long ugly people live.

2 funny jokes that make people laugh to death 1

1, traveling by plane, sitting next to a couple. When I handed out the set meal on the plane, I said to my husband: Look at the one next to others, the woman can't finish it, and the man eats the rest. It's so loving. Husband said faintly: Will you be left behind?

2. My uncle came to my house as a guest, but Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." . Mother growled at once, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here. What zoo are you going to? "

My wife bought a hamster and a cage. I asked her how much it was, and she said how many hamsters and cages there were. I complain that this cage is more expensive than hamster. The second goods replied: "Do you think you will be higher than the current house price?"

4. In high school, I was the penultimate in my class, never came to school, and spent all day in Internet cafes. But the strange thing is that he comes to every exam and is never absent. Later, we found that the penultimate member of the class would go to the Internet cafe to give it to the penultimate member 10 yuan before each exam, begging him to take the exam. ...

When I was in college, I heard a roommate say that one of his friends expressed his feelings: "My brother is getting married." A message: "Your boy won't get on the boat first and then make up the ticket, will he?" Congratulations! " Later reply: "Not me, but my brother ..."

6. The wife asked her husband, "If I am crazy, will you still love me?" The husband said firmly, "Love!" The wife pondered for a while and said sadly, "You really love my appearance!" " "

7. The wife asked her husband, "Do you like my tenderness or are you infatuated with my sexy figure?" The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied, "I like your sense of humor!" " ! "

8. When walking with my boyfriend, I like to hug his waist and pull his clothes. Walking one day, he suddenly said, "Will you stop pulling my clothes?" I was unhappy and said, "can't you have a baby when you talk to me?" Then he said, "Don't pull my baby's clothes, okay?" Me: "..."

9. After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. The wife was not only not afraid, but also said softly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."

10, "I like to get to the bottom of it since I was a child. My wish is to be a detective when I grow up. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? "

the second

1, there is a man and a woman at the same table. The man said to others, "My deskmate is a pig!" " His deskmate listened, kicked him and said, "Your deskmate is the pig!" " "

After playing football, several male students returned to the classroom in a smelly sweat. Answer: "If I take off my shoes now, the whole class will escape from the classroom, haha." B said calmly, "After I took off my shoes, they didn't even have a chance to escape!" " ! "

3. Teacher: Xiao Ming, remind your deskmate Lily to sleep in class. Xiao Ming: Oh, I see. The next day, just after class, Xiaoming said to Lili: Lili, it's time for you to go to bed! The teacher is afraid that you will forget. Let me remind you.

4. It is said that many people now say that children are paper, and a female classmate often sells cute like this. One day, the woman caught a cold and ran out of paper in the library, so she sent a short message to her roommate, saying that you had two packs of paper when you came over. After a while, my roommate came over with two steamed buns in his hand.

5. Teacher: What is the meaning of the word "chinese odyssey"? Student:' the whole world' means being born, and' unparalleled' means having no parents. Absolutely, it is born without parents!

6. I am a kindergarten teacher. Once in class, I fought with Xiong Haizi. I asked them why they were fighting, and Xiong Haizi curled his lips and said, Teacher, I said your face looks like a horse's face, and he insisted that it looks like a donkey's face. As a teacher, if I have special powers at the moment, I will throw them into outer space and show them what will happen if I offend them.

7. In physics class, the teacher talked about inertia. He asked, "A dog crossed the road, and a high-speed vehicle suddenly braked, and everyone in the car leaned forward. What is this phenomenon? " A classmate replied: "that's because people want to see if the dog has been killed, which is a phenomenon of watching."

8. Teacher: Can you name an animal? Student: An ant. Teacher: Can you tell me another one? Student: Another ant.

9. One day, Xiao Ming arrived at school very late. The teacher asked, why are you so late? Xiao Ming proudly replied, stop it. Today, my car broke down and I came on foot. Hearing this, the teacher straightened his voice and said, I thought you said your family was poor, so you can still drive. Xiao Ming lowered his head and replied, Teacher, my car is a second-hand bike.

10, high school, at noon, everyone rushed to the canteen. The PE teacher squatted at the entrance of the canteen to select sprinters.