The prayer of just Yue Se.

Scripture: Matthew1:19; Yue Se, her husband, is an honest man, unwilling to humiliate her publicly, and wants to divorce her secretly.

O Lord, the God of my father David

I have been looking forward to you and trusting you.

I am willing to wait for you in all things.

God, it's been months.

My heart is still not calm.

Whose womb is in Mary's womb?

No one knows except you.

Because she lied to me that she was pregnant from you?

When the boss gave me the carpenter's salary,

Let me hurry to find the elders of this city.

He obviously wants me to bleed.

I know Mary well.

Is what you like?

I love her as much as you love me.

But I-I failed to protect her.

Oh, Lord, give me wisdom

I beg your kind heart.

Because you are a compassionate god.

Oh, God, I don't want to humiliate her.

I don't want anyone to humiliate her.

She committed adultery. I'm sure.

But I know I have a strong desire.

It's too dirty. Please help me.

Throw away all these dirty things.

If you are executed because you are pregnant.

You are by no means such a god.

If you are killed for adultery.

I am more guilty than her.

Please use me.

Complete her in your love.

Please give me the best heart.

Let me treat her as always.

Because she has a more suitable man than me.

I also want to learn not to hate her.

Because she is no different from me.

Oh, please let me secretly give her a divorce certificate.

Give her the freedom to marry someone else.

Although it's like splitting my body

Take out my ribs.

May God save me from Mary's pain.

May God himself save her soul!

May you come into my dream and tell me where to go.

Please listen to my cry in the land of pain

Because you are my salvation.

Lord, my rock

You will save me from all injustice!

Note: Scripture says, "The righteous will live by faith, and the righteous Yue Se will be saved, so he does not take himself as righteousness. On the contrary, he is convinced that his righteousness is rags and he is a descendant of David. Even so, he needs both God's salvation and God's instructions on what to do.

Therefore, the prayer declares my faith with' God of my ancestor David, I have always trusted you, and I am willing to wait for you', and then I admit that I am not kind after I deeply realize my sin, because according to Jewish law, "anyone who commits adultery will be stoned to death", but the Bible records that Yue Se does not want to publicly humiliate Mary. It shows that he really cherishes Mary's reputation and is waiting for God's action. As soon as Mary got pregnant, God didn't tell Yue Se what to do, but gave him a chance to wait.

So Yue Se kept praying and wrestling with God, and God would not appear to him until he completely gave up sovereignty and let God be the master of his relationship with Mary.

So there is only one sentence in the scripture, "I want to divorce her secretly." In Yue Se's eyes, a person who should be sentenced to death according to law just "wants to divorce her secretly". How many wars, how many sleepless nights of prayer and conversation, it is impossible to know? However, the author tries to see Yue Se's desire for redemption from the revelation of the Bible, and writes from the perspective of Yue Se and waiting for God, without seeking flowery words, but only wanting to conform to God's will.

The "tax collectors" in the church often pray, but their prayers are "their own merits, not asking for God's mercy and redemption", but our old selves are all Pharisees, so just Yue Se must admit his injustice, yearn for God's justice and ask the Lord to help us.