The lines of the legendary funny sketch of the new White Snake

Roles: White Snake, Green Snake, Xu Xian and Fahai's Once in a Thousand Years music started, and the white snake jumped for a minute. Bai: Come on. Qing: Come on, sister, I want to make up, come on, come on! Bai: Wow, the way you make up is really ugly. Qing: Sister, I'm flattered. Bai: Come with me quickly. Qing: Hey, sister, what's your hurry? We only come out once every 500 years. You see, Yang Na has changed a lot. Sister Linglong's Internet cafe is open. I went to QQ to steal food last time. Bai: Stop it, or you won't cross the bridge today, or you'll miss it. Qing: Sister, are you talking about the V man? Bai: Stop talking nonsense. If Xu Xian hadn't saved me, I wouldn't be here today. Qing: Oh, sister, I'm not talking about you. There are no men in this world who kill pigs, herd cattle and pick flowers. For example, the man in black on the street (local dialect) has many skills and has his home everywhere. Isn't that better than him? Bai: Sister, I like it. Qing: Well, even if you like him, there are plenty of handsome guys. This guy has a broad horizon. Where can we find him? It's so cold that it takes a lot of courage to get up. Who will come out? Bai: You don't know. Five hundred years ago, Xu Xian gave me a symbol of love, and we met at this Nanyang Bridge. Qing: Hee hee, sister, what is that token of love? (White takes out 50 yuan) White: That's it, 50: Oh, sister, this 50 yuan was Xu Xian's money in the lottery in those years. White: Is it the lottery money? Hehe, I'm willing to marry him for less. Green: Omega, will you marry 50 yuan as a bride price? Bai: Silly, we are in ancient times now. At the age of 50, I am already a rich woman. My sister married a man, and of course she wanted money. (Dubbing (1) once in a thousand years) Listen, Qing Er, someone is coming. Qing: Then let's hide and see if it's Xu Xian. If so, let's meet him again. Bai: Hmm. Bai Heqing danced to one side of the stage, being careful not to step down. (Music begins (2) The Legend of the New White Snake-Through Love): Xu Xian came to the stage with a book. Xu Xian said: (Reading) There are many handsome guys in that sunny place, the sunny slope, the sunny tree and the sunny boy are cool. If you want to marry, marry that sunny person, especially someone like me. Blind date is bitter and tired, and it doesn't match for a long time. Give cigarettes and sugar, and finally it will be yellow. Qing: Sister, look, is that Xu Xian on the broken bridge? Bai: Uh-huh ~ This, this, this fool can hear it. Qing Er, come to the door and ask for the bonus. Qing: I see. (throwing money) Oh, whose 50-Wen chicken, Oh, whose 50-Wen chicken ... Xu: Oh, whose money, whose money? Whose money? Bai: Narrator: Attention, Radisson and fellow villagers. At this point, the distance between Xu Xian and Bai Niangzi is only ... Let me measure it. Oh, my God, one centimeter, one centimeter. After singing that poem, they fell in love from then on. Action. Xu: Girl, the pigeon in Jiangzhou is a gentle and graceful lady, and a gentle and graceful gentleman. Bai: Good poem Xu: Girl, I will never regret knowing you in my life. Bai: (singing) Outside the castle peak outside the mountain, the son is as strong as an ox. The poem is charming (Xu: a good poem). Seeing an official really has an appetite. X: This young lady is both talented and beautiful. I have met her before, but I can't remember where I met you. Oh, you asked me to clear my memory: Xianggong, stop it. Have we met Xu Xianggong? Let me ask, are you talking to me? Bai: Five hundred years ago, you saved my life. Today, I come to repay your kindness. I want to marry you all my life. X: Miss, are you mistaken? Five hundred years ago, that was my grandfather's grandfather, which had nothing to do with me. Bai: Well, forget about 500 years ago. Let's start with now Let's use this 50 yuan to buy a house of 10 square meters. X: Miss, the house price is too expensive now. This money can't even afford kohlrabi. Bai: You forget that we are now in ancient times. For this fifty dollars, you are a rich man and I am a rich woman. X: Oh, you mean to rent a house of ten square meters with this fifty dollars? (Bai: Hmm ~) Are we getting married? Bai: Great. Xu: Being husband and wife? ! Bai: I do! ! ! Xu: Miss, can I, can I, can I? One? B: Certainly. What? Xu: The first kiss is still there, you know. White: Hmm ~ When you bully Xu Xian, this white lady will suddenly cover Xu Xian's mouth. White: Stor! Someone is spying. X: God, I'm almost there, and you're still coming to spoil my fun. Who's peeping? Go out of Fahai and bring a glass to the stage (Pinyin (3) DuDu). Methods: Lao Na exorcised evil spirits and wandered to the depths of Yang Na, awakening countless couples! Tucao! Tucao! Bai: No, yes! White Snake, the old Fahai is here to pick you up! Wow, tooth tooth tooth tooth tooth ... Bai: You chased me three times and five times. Today, I fight with you. Xu: Slow down! Ma 'am, let me take care of him (rolling up his sleeves). People are talking about marriage. What are you doing here? Dharma: benefactor, you are human, she is a demon, and your combination is a shemale. I don't agree with you getting married. X: Why don't you agree to our marriage? Is it stamped by the Civil Affairs Bureau? Fa: benefactor, you are wrong. I'm here to collect this snake demon. Xu: What kind of snake demon do you accept? ! Where did the snake demon come from? Come on, I knew from the beginning that you were here to rob the marriage. She is already my wife, you, go away: fuck off, I want to accept her, fuck off: who do you accept? Method: White Snake Xu: I asked what you were doing. Method: me? (X: Hmm) Hehe, being original. X: (to the sea) What channel? ! What channel are you on? Fa: (helpless) er ~ well, I admit, I'm from Yang Na International Channel in Hengxian County, and I'm here to collect the White Snake? Fa: right. Xu: You have received the legend of the White Snake. Is there any magic weapon? Fernando Alonso: I have an instrument. X: What musical instrument? Fahai raised his glass. X: I see. You took a cup to wish our marriage talk success. Have a drink with me. Come on, let's guess two horses. Fernando Alonso: Who will have a drink with you? Who will have two horses with you? I only know how to cut rocks and paper. Look what this is. Xu: A wine glass. Yes, this is a wine glass. Do you know what glass stands for? X: What do you mean? Fa: Now I tell you that your love with Mrs. White Snake turned out to be just like it, which was a tragedy. Ah, you have brought us a tragedy today, and our love is also a tragedy. Then if you bring a washing machine tomorrow, our love will still be a comedy. Dharma: benefactor, you are a human being and she is a demon. Your combination will bring great disasters to the world, such as drinking water and raising pigs. X: At best, we have a transvestite. What disaster can there be? Fa: Oh, I won't explain so much to you. White Snake, I must accept you today! ! ! The artifact slowly absorbs the White Snake and the White Snake: Guan ~ Xu Xian is anxious to stop the artifact and force Fahai to take it back. Xu: Brother Fage, I beg you, as long as you don't accept my wife, I swear, I will help you pick flowers, herd cattle, raise a wife and raise a mistress in the next life, get up at three in the morning to make breakfast for you and wake you up at four. Please let me have a day off on Sunday. Bai: What are you going to do on Sunday? X: I still want to ask you out. Method: I can let you have a wife and a mistress. It's not cheap for you. No, I don't agree! White Snake, I must accept you today: Officer ~ Xu: Madam ~ Wrong, wrong, wrong "Once in a Millennium" music playing method: accept it, accept it, alas, you will know when the Unicom signal is poor! After the three men leaned forward with fists clenched in their arms, they swam, rowed and looked at each other, drawing a circle on the bald head, moving forward by law, retreating by law and moving forward by law. White Snake, I must accept your promise today: Oh, Fafa, accept the law: Unicom's signal is poor! Wrong understanding. Go back and shoot it again. Bai Niangzi, I must accept your confession: Officer ~ Xu: Lady ~ Bai: Officer, you have to take one last look at our son. Xu: Son? You haven't. White: Sorry, I forgot. Officer, if I can be with you in my next life, I will live in a house of ten square meters. X: There is also 10 square meter? Bai: I want to make a promise: Oh, I'm so touched. Bai: I love you, officer. Xu: Madam, I love you. (Dubbing ④, you don't understand love) Why don't you agree with our love/Don't you want us to be happy/free? (Chorus) You don't understand love/The Leifeng Tower will fall down/We will never part/You really don't understand love. (Singing) You say. (Voice-over (5) Biography of New White Snake, picking) White Snake falls to the ground (while picking, the music starts again) Bai: Xu: Niangzi Bai: Bai: Bai: Guan Renbai: Take care, I have no regrets about marrying you in this life, and I will marry you in the next life, Xu: Niangzi (falls to the ground, shakes hands with Bai Niangzi, and is separated from the past.