Sheep in their forties in 2022, and 79 sheep in 2022.

I especially like listening to my best friend gossip with me, because she can always tell the stories of people around me vividly, and then I will record them in words and share them with you.

Yesterday, she told me another story about poverty caused by childbirth.

The hero of the story is my best friend's former colleague. Let's call her Pink.

Xiao fen was born in a rural family in the central region, and her family conditions are very general. She has two older sisters above and a younger brother below. She ranks third.

When she was still in high school, her father died; Later, she graduated from college and her mother died. She doesn't have a good relationship with her sister and brother, so she can only "take care of each other".

When she was in college, she talked about a boyfriend, and the relationship between them was ok, but after graduation, she broke up because she faced many practical problems. After working for a year, Xiao fen felt that she couldn't adapt to life abroad, so she came to Guangzhou to work in the company where her best friend was.

The two worked as colleagues for some time. Sometimes, my best friend will go on blind dates with Xiao Fan.

It was also during that time that my best friend met Xiao Fen's future husband for the first time: a divorced teenager who said that his ex-wife had a daughter.

Divorced men are lawyers, but? .. emotional intelligence, business level, people dare not compliment. From the beginning, my best friend hated this divorced man. She just felt tired of looking at him more.

A normal person speaks in a cadence, but he can't. His tone is flat, and there is no fluctuation in his tone. I feel that he is sleepwalking, always "whispering" and never saying why.

At that time, my best friend suggested Xiao fen, this person is no good, so don't look for him.

Xiao fen's conditions at that time were ok. Looks and figure are above average, with two degrees. I bought a small house in the suburbs of Guangzhou (two or three thousand a month), and I have a job of "less last job and more next job". Have you been to Japan? .. I don't know why, but she still talks about friends with this divorced man.

The divorced man is in his forties and bought a small house. The economic conditions are slightly better than those of Xiaofen. The two talked for a while, and Xiao fen was pregnant. She thought that she was in her thirties, and if she didn't give birth to the child, she might not be born in the future, so she chose to give birth to the child.

At that time, my best friend had been without her for a long time. When they were together again, Xiao fen had given birth to her son. At that time, my best friend was still puzzled: hey, you have children and you didn't tell me when you got married.

Later, my girlfriend learned that the two sides did not receive the certificate at all.

One day after Xiao Fen gave birth to her son, a young woman came to call her Fox. Only then did she know that her son's father (who cannot be called a husband without a license) and his ex-wife had not only one daughter, but three children.

In a way, she was cheated, but what can I do with her son?

If her son is born healthily, there is still a way out for her life. The problem is that her son has severe bipolar disorder and is prone to madness. She must take care of him wholeheartedly.

Xiaofen's parents have passed away, her sisters have poor living conditions, and her brother can't count on it. Everyone who comes from a family can only take care of herself, and no one can help her.

Son, dad? I haven't received any good cases in recent years, and the income earned by being a lawyer is not enough to repay the mortgage and meet the family expenses. My son needs someone to take care of him, so Xiao fen has to resign and take care of his son at home.

In this case, men are more and more dissatisfied with her. The couple live under the same roof and haven't spoken for years.

Once, my best friend visited their house, and it is estimated that the couple had just quarreled. Pink doesn't even cook for men. When men arrive at the meal, they all order take-out home by themselves.

Pink went to pick up the children, and her best friend stayed at her house to play with her mobile phone. As a result, the man ran out to complain to his girlfriend and denounced the grievances in this marriage.

My best friend looked puzzled and thought, "She is my friend, and you have the wrong person", but she politely advised, "Oh, it's all over now, so let's bear with each other. It is not easy for her to take her son alone. "

When Xiao fen came back, she heard a man talking about these things with his best friend. She said to the man, don't tell my friend these things. People don't like to hear it.

When the man heard this, he was unhappy.

When his girlfriend left, he chased her to the door and shouted at her: Don't come to my house to play in the future!

The tone is still dull, which makes people sleepy.

When the best friend responded to what he said, the elevator had arrived.

When my best friend told me this story, she kept saying, "An old man in his fifties is so naive that he told me not to go to his house to play. God, is he still a child? He means that he bought the house, and I'm a friend of Xiao fen's, so I'm not qualified to go. I didn't hear you clearly, otherwise I should really go back and yell at him-I'm coming, I'm determined to come, I come every day, I'm so angry with you, la la la la la-who wouldn't be more naive? Compared with me, he is a little old! "

My best friend stayed at Xiao Fen's house for several hours and witnessed Xiao Fen's son's homework.

She said this was probably the most difficult child she had ever met. Whether eating, doing homework or doing anything, I have been yelling, throwing things and smashing things.

Pink told her best friend that she was depressed, too. She often goes to Lacrimosa in the dead of night, but what can she do? She can only insist.

I asked my best friend, did that person give Pink money?

My best friend said that I can't ask this kind of question, but I should give it, but it can't be many.

I said, what is that little pink rabbit?

The best friend said, do you think Xiao Fen still has a way out? Without a job and money, what I spend now may be all my former capital, so I should spend almost all of it. There's no one at home, husband. Oh, no, son, it's not reliable either. Living in this home can save some rent, get some pocket money, and occasionally a man can help. If you really want to divorce your son, the situation will only be more difficult. Now that the son has been born, someone must take care of him. She has tried her best to make a living.

After listening to this story, I really got a cold sweat on my back.

Imagine: When Pink went out on a blind date in her twenties, she must feel that life is full of hope. She may have imagined many things in the future, but perhaps she never thought that her life in her late forties would be like this.

2

I once talked about Xiao fen's case, but I didn't expect a higher praise: I didn't get a certificate anyway, and left the child with his father. Otherwise, I'm stuck in a quagmire and my life is over.

are you sure you meant it？ How many people who praised this comment really gave birth to children?

That's a person, a person!

It's not an object. Just throw it away.

Take it for granted that the man will take over and the man will raise the son well. Who gave you confidence? Did you imagine it?

If every parent is like this, give birth to a child with a disease (such as mental illness) and throw it away? .. do you really think you can walk boldly in the street like today without worrying too much about being assassinated by mental patients?

It is countless parents like Xiao fen who, with the spirit of "don't abandon, don't give up", tried their best to pay for their children's choices from the beginning and tried their best to take care of such children in their own way without leaving them with trouble. We don't need to pay for these things collectively.

Only at this point, what I see in Xiao fen is the light of human nature.

In this case, Xiao Fen was wrong to choose a spouse, but what really got her into trouble was that she gave birth to a bipolar son with a scum father.

In the words of another friend, this story is not about the risk of choosing a spouse, but the risk of having a baby ... if the baby has problems, the average family can't bear it.

Otherwise, put yourself in the shoes: does your living standard still exist like this?

As for finding a rural woman to help take care of a severely bipolar baby and go out to work by herself? Really naive, when such children are easy to take care of, rural women's labor force is worthless, and 35+ women are easy to find jobs or something?

You and I have read similar stories for so long, but I still didn't expect-most comments still accuse the woman of making mistakes in choosing a spouse, saying that she is looking for a man in the pile.

But isn't the crux of the problem that the man is cheating on his marriage, and the man himself is one?

Women face many more problems when choosing a spouse than men!

It seems that next time I tell a similar story, I should tell it from a man's point of view:

Once upon a time there was a man who had three or four children with his ex-wife. Later, his ex-wife divorced him because he was too scum. After the divorce, he ignored three or four children and only wanted to find a woman.

During this period, he met a girl from a poor family and began to cheat and kill her without wearing a condom.

After the girl is pregnant, she is worried that there will be no children in the future and plans to give birth to the child. And when he saw that the woman couldn't run away, he didn't even want to get the certificate from her.

The child born to the woman is bipolar, but at least it is a life. She can't give up, so she shoulders the responsibility of taking care of the child. And this man, in this relationship, is a role of playing soy sauce, and he doesn't like women and children. He didn't leave completely, but counted on his wife and children to provide for the elderly.

You think this kind of person can stick his head in the shit hole three times a day?

? End?

: Yan Lingyang, born in 1980s, emotional column, new woman, member of Chinese Writers Association. He is the author of the best-selling books, Those who make you miserable, you will say it with a smile one day, May you let go of the past and deserve the future, May you have a trip and a retreat, I am divorced, You are not alone-an alternative interpretation of Jin Yong's martial arts, Children's Picture Book, Mom's Home, Dad's Home. 13 years experience in financial industry (management), and now he is the founder of a cultural information company in Guangzhou and the co-founder of a cultural media company. Born in Lijiang, Yunnan, now lives in Guangzhou. Welcome to WeChat: Yan Lingyang Weibo: Yan Lingyang ~

The above is related to the 40-year-old sheep in 2022, and it is about the sharing of marriage. I watched the monthly transportation of 79 sheep in 2022, I hope this will help everyone!