Gender psychology: Many people's love is more superficial and desire than love.

In the feelings of adults, "willing to gamble and admit defeat" is the best mentality.

People's biggest misunderstanding of everything is that you can get it if you pay.

Maybe you have to say, how can anyone in this world do it without asking for anything in return?

Of course, if you really love someone, you really don't ask for anything in return. (Shallow people really don't understand)

If you say that you love someone but don't feel this way, it means that you don't know love, you just have desire, you just want it.

Many times, life is like a bet.

Once you have made a bet in the casino, you should be mentally prepared. Someone wins, someone loses, and it may be you.

Some people don't want to admit defeat when they lose, so they sit at the gambling table and continue to gamble, insisting on getting their money back, and the more they lose, the more they lose.

And some people lose, but nothing, they will pull away.

Because they have a normal heart, they can accept the result of "losing and winning".

In the emotional world, the same is true.

Since Lily's friend, Hui, divorced, she has often sent messages to her, or complained to her face, saying that she has not been easy these years, which made Lily a little tired.

Hui was educated by her mother as a virtuous girl when she was a child, so she was named Hui.

Besides, my mother is also a very virtuous person. During these years of living at home, Hui has been deeply influenced by her mother. She thinks that women must be virtuous, especially after marriage.

After getting married, Hui has been working very hard, taking all the housework on himself, and just letting her husband work hard, and he doesn't have to worry about other things.

At first, her husband wanted to help Hui, but she refused. Over time, my husband has become accustomed to this mode of getting along.

Hui has done everything for this family. In order to take good care of the children, she also quit her job to be a full-time wife at home, making housework easier to handle.

She has been doing this for more than ten years, but she can't stop her husband's extramarital affairs. After the divorce, she lived in sorrow every day. She holds her husband responsible for this.

Lily wanted to comfort Hui, but Hui became more and more like a dissatisfied housewife. Lily really can't stand it. She decided to tell Hui the story of another friend, Yi Shu, hoping to make Hui change her dissatisfied wife.

Yi Shu is a very gentle person. She is friendly to everyone and many people like her.

After she worked, all the older colleagues in the company wanted to introduce her to her boyfriend, and among them, she really found a boyfriend.

The two got along well and didn't quarrel. They got married a few years later.

After marriage, the atmosphere of the two people in love is still the same, but after the birth of the child, this contradiction gradually emerged.

Yi Shu was tired of taking care of her children, and wanted her husband to take a look at it for her. However, he found various reasons not to take care of the children, and sometimes he didn't come home from work until the children went to bed, saying that it was overtime, but in fact it was just a waste of time.

Therefore, Yi Shu asked her husband why he didn't want to take care of the children. After all, he is the father of the child.

Husband said: although I am the father of the child, where did his father take the child? Didn't his mother bring them all? Children are always crying. I really don't like children.

Yi Shu is a little speechless. If other children don't like it, it's a bit strange that their own children don't like it.

However, a gentle man like Yi Shu also has a temper. She left the child at home directly and went back to her parents' house. She hopes to take this opportunity to let her husband learn to take care of the children.

As a result, two days after she returned to her parents' house, her husband called and said that she could not take the children. I don't know why, so I kept crying and crying.

Yi Shu hurried home and found the child crying. She asked her husband if he had fed the baby milk powder and changed diapers. Her husband looked puzzled and said he didn't know what to do.

Yi Shu was a little flustered and asked him how he fed the children yesterday. Her husband said that he cooked some porridge for them to drink.

This is real anger against Yi Shu. I didn't expect him to forget his lack of responsibility for children. He has no common sense. Such a small child can only drink milk powder now.

My husband expressed helplessness at Yi Shu's reaction. He really doesn't understand these things because he hasn't studied them.

Yi Shu thinks that if this goes on, it's better to take care of the children alone. With such a man, if she didn't take care of the child, it is estimated that the child would have starved to death.

She asked her husband for a divorce, and he felt that Yi Shu had made a mountain out of a molehill because of this trivial matter.

But for Yi Shu, it's no big deal. If a man has no sense of responsibility for his children, he might as well take care of them without giving birth.

Under her husband's reluctance, they divorced. Although Yi Shu is a little uncomfortable, she only needs to take care of the children without worrying about an irresponsible man, which makes her much more relaxed.

In this way, Yi Shu raised the child alone until the child was 8 years old. She met another man who was not only good to her, but also good to the child.

Yi Shu did not ask men to treat their children as their own, but only asked men to treat them with a normal heart.

But the man's attitude towards the child surprised her. He treated Yi Shu's children like his own, and with their consent, Yi Shu remarried.

Now Yi Shu has a happy life and a harmonious family. She also knows how happy a truly responsible man is.

Say that finish the story, lily said to hui:

There are only two endings in a relationship, one is to join hands for life, and the other is to go their separate ways. When you pay, you must be able to think of two results, that is, will your husband appreciate you or fail you? Only when you learn to be willing to lose in gambling and don't let yourself fall into such an unbearable mood will you naturally stop complaining all the time.

Hui didn't listen to what Lily said. She thinks Lily is blaming herself for the divorce.

In fact, there are really many people who can't afford to lose. They clearly saw the result, but they wanted to recover what they lost through more chips, and finally lost more.

Otherwise, you don't want to accept the result of losing, and then put all the responsibility on others, there is nothing wrong with yourself.

Just like those divorced women, they always think that it's the man's fault that they have given everything for their family and the man is still cheating, but they forget one thing, that is, you chose this man yourself, and you can only say that your vision and reading experience are insufficient.

What we should understand is that no matter what we do, we must win and lose. However, people just want to see the success, are unwilling to bear the failure, and their hearts are still immature.

Those mature people don't expect too much from the result of everything. They will measure whether they can afford it and do a good job in psychological construction for themselves. Even if they fail, they will bear their responsibilities.

Marriage may grow old together, or it may not go on and go their separate ways; Your efforts may or may not be rewarded; No matter what you do, you may succeed or fail.

Therefore, a person must be willing to gamble and lose in order to live better than those who can't afford to lose.

Have you found that many unsuccessful things are due to too many gains and losses?

You are eager for something in return, otherwise you will be unwilling.

For example, you pay a lot for chasing a girl, and if she doesn't become your girlfriend in the end, you will be very painful.

Author: Miss Xiaoxian

National second-level psychological counselor, Tarot soothsayer, planetary energy healer, freelance writer and trainer.

Experience the old soul of love and explore the road of life.

The important thing is: a psychologist who loves life seriously.

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