A copy that makes people happy in an instant

A luxury car just passed me and splashed me all over. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would buy a raincoat of my own.

My wife always warns me not to find a mistress by crying, making trouble and hanging herself, which makes me very angry because she never makes a third move.

After my wife disappeared, I immediately went to the police station to report the case. The policeman said to me, brother, calm down. If you laugh like that, we can't make a record.

All the work will be boring if you do it for a long time. The difference is that others are boring and earn more than you.

5. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

6. Beautiful people are easy to forgive even if they make mistakes. Ugly people can't be forgiven by others because of their looks, let alone make mistakes.

Seven. That night, I sat on the 6th floor for eight hours, lost control of my emotions more than 10 times, and my right eyelid jumped 99 times. I was distressed all night, but I didn't realize how I lost my fifty cents.

Every time I see a thin person in the street, I want to share some meat with her because I have a kind heart.

Although my salary is not high, I am good at saving money. When you see something you like, you can always bite your teeth and hold back from buying it. For example, I just took a fancy to a helicopter, and then I thought it was cost-effective to squeeze the bus, saving tens of millions.

Once with Tenuto, I liked a girl. He told me that he likes boys who are good at games. So I practiced hard for her, and a month later, I forgot all about her.

1 1. If you think I'm fat, make it clear. Don't beat around the bush and say, "You really took it one step at a time!"

12. The daughter-in-law bought an expensive set of tableware. The clerk said it was pure silver. As a result, the tableware became darker and darker after half a year. She went to the store to ask what was going on, but the clerk said without thinking, your rice may be poisonous. ...

Thirteen. History is always strikingly similar, single in college, single in work, single out of work now.

14. Yesterday, a couple asked me how to get to the hotel. I did not hesitate to show them the direction to Xinhua Bookstore, hoping that they could find themselves lost in the sea of knowledge!

15. A classmate didn't listen in class and was left alone by the teacher. Teacher: "If you don't listen to me, you won't have a good future." Student: "Teacher, what's your monthly salary?" Teacher: "Why? My salary is about 3,000 a month, how much! " Student: "I have two houses, and the rent is 50 thousand a month." You talk to me about the future. " Teacher: "..."

15. Class reunion. The best classmate said: I'll pay the bill this time! I objected on the spot: Why did you pay the bill this time? You will pay the bill every time in the future!

Seventeen. Dogs and pigs play together. Dog: "How much is one plus one?" Pig: "Two!" "Dog:" Wow! How clever you are! "Pig:" Of course, you think I'm a pig! " "

18. In class, a note came from my deskmate. After reading it, just lie on the table and laugh. Who knows, the teacher saw it and called the name: What did you preach? Laugh so happily, read it a hundred times, speed! Me: The teacher's pants chain didn't pull, the teacher's pants chain didn't pull ... Then, I was kicked out and made a mess of the teacher on the podium. ...

Nineteen. When I was a child, I thought Internet cafes were the most wasteful places. Twenty dollars disappeared in an afternoon. Now I feel that Internet cafes are the most economical places. Twenty dollars can sit for an afternoon. I asked my dad how much he loved me. My dad said: in order to make you correct your mistake, I specially asked for a half-day leave to come back and hit you!

Twenty one. I want to buy a car recently. My father took me to all the luxury car 4S stores in the city. I am very touched. Well, it is better to be a family. After leaving the store, my dad turned to me and said, "Look, these cars are not allowed to hit in the future!" "

Twenty-two The money in the pocket is the most fickle and ungrateful, and the fat on the body is the most persistent.

Twenty-three My roommate was bored and changed the WeChat avatar to the MM avatar. After the change, he shook it and shook it to an uncle. After some tossing, the uncle promised to open the room and sent the room number. Write down the room number, shake it again, shake it to another uncle and give him the room number.

Twenty-four Why do all marriage proposals get down on one knee? God replied: kneeling is the grave.