The marriage of man, dragon and woman is too painful. Can dragons and snakes match?

It is too painful for men and women to get married. The writer Ai Xiaoyang once told a love story.

Once, when she went out for dinner, she met a foreign couple with two children.

The couple ordered beer for themselves and juice and snacks for the children. After the beer was served, the couple began to clink glasses and looked at each other affectionately.

Anyone who marries and brings a baby in person knows that children are the most difficult "creatures" to control.

Sure enough, the younger children began to cry for food.

Ai Xiaoyang's psychology represents all our women:

"It's over, the couple have to take care of the children. Children are the crystallization of parents' love, but they are the terminator of their love. "

However, to everyone's surprise, the couple didn't start taking care of the children as we thought.

They are just simple children: "Your meal will wait for a while."

Then, regardless of the child's crying, they began to clink glasses and kiss gently.

Not to mention Ai Xiaoyang at the scene, even those of us who listened to the story were surprised.

This?

After getting married and having children, can you still be so sweet and desperate?

Many people say that we should love each other for life.

Similarly, more people say that marriage is the grave of love.

This matter, individuals have their own reasons, but we must admit:

Most people's marriages have gone from dull to dull, and even more and more bleak. Especially in the first three years of having children, it is a huge disaster for most couples!

The first three years of having a baby

It's the hardest time for couples.

My friend clamored for a divorce just after giving birth to a baby.

It's really irritating to ask why.

It turned out that during her pregnancy, her husband actually came together with her colleagues in the company.

When she was doing housework with a big belly, he went outside under the banner of "working overtime to earn milk powder money"

Even during her confinement, he completely gave their mother and son to her mother-in-law and went out to have fun.

She was pregnant in October, gave birth once, and survived.

He philandered, didn't want a wife and ignored his son.

What's the use of keeping such a man without divorce?

It happened that men are strange, not only don't divorce, but also find reasons to defend themselves:

"I'm just obsessed with it for a while. I never thought about getting divorced. It's just that we haven't done this for a long time. I ... I couldn't help it at the moment, so I played outside. "

Sadly, no one supported her friends, including her parents, in the divorce.

The reason is nothing more than:

"It's pitiful that a child is born without a father."

"When a man makes a mistake, just remember to go home."

Cheating is a problem in marriage.

Men whose wives cheat during pregnancy can almost be described as "countless". Let's not talk about the stories of people around us. Look at the star lovers, they are in love. How many husbands lost their husbands during their wives' pregnancy and childbirth? !

But in fact, the problem of marriage is never as simple as cheating.

Worse than cheating, many couples have problems, just like frogs boiling warm water.

Not a single shot, but slowly entering a suffocating rhythm.

On Zhihu, I saw such an embarrassing self-report.

"My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have a 3-year-old son.

We are very happy. No, to be exact, we are very happy to outsiders. We have a car and a house. My husband works hard to earn money to support his family. I take care of the children at home. A family of three always dresses neatly and goes out to play happily.

But only I know.

Our marriage is suffocating.

We have nothing to talk about except children, just like two people just raising children together.

I think we dislike each other now, and we are too lazy to quarrel and get angry.

We haven't been together long, both physically and psychologically.

I just didn't want to at first, but then I didn't want to.

I tried to mention divorce, and the old man at home said I was looking for trouble.

I don't know what to do. I feel like a fish stranded on the beach.

There is no way out in this half-dead marriage. "

Perhaps, in the eyes of many people, this is a woman's worry about giving new words.

But!

A woman who gropes in marriage and is scarred in intimate relationship will understand this helplessness and injustice. We got married because we love each other, and both husband and wife once loved each other deeply.

Unfortunately, life is never a fairy tale, and marriage is not the happy life of a prince and a princess.

Flowers are only accidental. What's more, the pressure of work, the complexity of interpersonal relationships, the hardships of raising children, and the trivial housework that can't see hope day after day constitute a chicken flying a dog and jumping between husband and wife.

Slowly, a fiery heart was ignored, wronged and cooled.

Leaving and not leaving are both painful.

Our previous generation had a one-sided attitude towards marriage.

In their minds, marriage is like the electrical appliances of that era. Hard-won. If it is broken, it will be repaired. Keep using it when it is repaired.

No matter what happens, whether it's cheating, debt, half-life, it can still be used after being repaired.

So far.

There are more and more independent women, and their attitudes towards marriage are beginning to change.

They began to bravely say no and take the initiative to say divorce.

Actually, divorce is irrelevant.

Only divorced people can be responsible for their own decisions.

But the problem is that many people are caught in the dilemma of "going and not going".

The husband betrayed himself.

Marriage is a stagnant pool.

It's not easy for anyone

A "divorce" can be said very simply, and it is also the most seemingly venting way.

But impulsive divorce can lead to very troublesome consequences.

For example, after divorce, who will have custody of the children?

How do women restart their working life?

How to support yourself?

How do single mothers raise their children while working?

Of course, it's even more tragic for a woman to break up and not divorce.

A woman is a kind of "creature" who most easily blames others' mistakes on herself.

Teacher Lu Yue once encountered such a case:

Ms. Ding, whose husband is cheating, wants a divorce, but she is afraid to divorce.

She forgave her husband for the children, but she couldn't face him at all. When she saw her husband, she was very angry and kicked him out of the bedroom. Her husband is fast asleep in the guest room. She couldn't sleep, cried day and night, and her pillow towel was soaked with tears.

Actually, the problem of marriage.

It is never as simple as leaving or not leaving.

If we don't solve the problem from the heart, the problem of marriage will always hang there and even be brought to the next marriage.

Just like a person who has never learned to swim, no matter how to change the swimming pool, there is still only one way, drowning!

Of course, you can also find a professional emotional teacher and ask him to give you some professional advice.

Many times, listening to another voice may make you suddenly enlightened.

Intimacy is a big relationship.

Many couples, even if their relationship breaks down, still choose to continue for the sake of their children.

Even if this continues, you need to sacrifice all your happiness.

Psychologists once said: "The relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of family happiness."

The relationship between husband and wife must also be greater than the parent-child relationship.

If the relationship between parents is not good, children who grow up in such an environment will have a high probability of not being happy.

So, how can couples maintain a beautiful marriage?

Before America, joy chen, the author of the best-selling book Don't Get Married Before 30, was a woman with a sweet career and family.

She has a successful career and a happy family.

I have two lovely daughters, and most importantly, I love my husband forever.

When it comes to secrets, she said:

"No matter how busy you are, you must have time to date your husband alone. We leave some time to chat before going to bed every night, and we can drink together even if we don't say anything. "

No matter how busy and tired you are, you must keep your husband and wife's exclusive time.

Many happy couples agree with this secret of maintaining a happy marriage.

Just like the dancer Huang Doudou and his wife Su Yi, director of children's drama.

They firmly believe that:

"The relationship between husband and wife is the most important in a family, so in order to maintain the relationship between husband and wife, we agreed that no matter how busy we are, we should arrange 1 hour of husband and wife alone every day, or go out on a date or chat before going to bed."

Once, when Huang Doudou came back from a business trip, it was very late, and his wife was preparing to tidy up the room and sleep.

Huang Doudou suddenly invited her to see it, and then his spoiled wife gave him a lovely mobile phone case.

Huang Doudou also show off in front of the children:

"Today, my mother accompanied me and bought me a mobile phone case. I am so happy. "

For her husband's behavior, the wife also agreed:

"This is a good program for children. Parents love each other, and then they not only have you, but also each other. "

Of course, the reason is simple, but practice is not an easy thing.

Have you ever encountered such a problem in your marriage? I often quarrel with my partner because of trivial matters. I regret every quarrel, but I will still be unable to help quarreling next time.

My partner and I have been married for many years. Although there is no obvious contradiction, I still feel that the feelings of two people are getting colder and colder.

There is a marriage crisis, and I find that my lover is cheating/ambiguous, but I don't know how to deal with it, how to resolve it, and how to break it;

If you can't regulate intimacy by yourself, don't worry alone.

If you are deeply involved in emotional problems and don't know what to do, please write to me privately or leave a message in the comments, and I will help you solve it.

The above is related to the painful marriage of a man and a woman, and it is about the sharing of marriage. See if the dragon and snake can match the husband and wife, I hope this will help everyone!