My girlfriend gave me an English translator, which I couldn't understand. Please help me translate it.

When he changed his mind and was shocked, he looked for something lost in the East. Lost and found things are either left in the forest in the mountains, hidden in bushes, next to musical instruments, or left in the downtown streets. He changed his divination to Xun and looked for lost things in the southeast. Lost items are either in mountains or forests, Buddhist temples and Taoist temples, hidden in vegetable fields and orchards, thrown on cars and ships, or in bamboo and wood products. He changed his mind and looked for the lost things in the north. Lost things are either thrown at the water's edge, or in streams, wells and ditches, or in places with wine and vinegar, or in lakes with fish and salt. When he changed his mind to leave, he looked for something lost in the south. The lost property is either in the kitchen, by the fire, in the empty center, in the empty warehouse, on the bookshelf or in the center of smoke and fire. When he changed his divination to gen, he searched for something lost in the northeast. Lost things, either in the mountains, or on the roadside, or hit by stones, or thrown into holes in the soil. When he changed his mind to exchange, he looked for the lost property in the west. The lost property is either beside the swamp, among the ruins, or hidden in abandoned wells and swamps.

When he was shocked during his recovery, he looked for what was lost in the East. The lost property is either in the forest in the mountains, in the bushes, next to musical instruments, or on the streets in the city center. He changed divination to Xun, looking for lost things in the southeast. Lost things are either in the mountains, in Buddhist temples, hidden in vegetable orchards, thrown on cars and boats, or in bamboo utensils. He changed his mind and looked for the lost things in the north. Lost things are thrown into water, streams, wells, ditches, places with wine and vinegar, or lakes with fish and salt. When he changed his mind and left, he was looking for something lost in the south. The lost property is either sour noodles in the kitchen, fire, a pure heart, an empty warehouse, a bookshelf or a fireworks center. When he changed his divination to gen, he searched for something lost in the northeast. The lost things are either in the mountains, on the road, on the rocks, or thrown into the hole. When he changed his mind, he searched for the lost property in the west. Lost things are either beside swamps, in ruins, or hidden in abandoned wells and swamps.