Fortune Telling Collection - Free divination - A humorous copy with witty remarks.

A humorous copy with witty remarks.

1. Snow White explained that seven little diaosi are not as good as Gao Fushuai's 1 kiss.

Holding a hot, charging mobile phone, regardless of life and death, is a rare heroic moment in my life.

I always talk nonsense when people ask for directions, just to make them remember it for a long time. The more beautiful a woman is, the more deceitful she will be!

4. The three tragedies of dinner: the person to be invited didn't come, and the person who came has nothing to do with you, leaving you awake when you check out.

The fortune teller said that I am 27 years old, wearing a yellow robe, accompanied by delicious food every day, and have transportation when I go out. That's accurate. I really became a takeaway brother.

6. Go to dinner with friends, and tell the boss when you check out: Let the ugly one check out! As a result, the boss said: Then AA! My friends and I were instantly shocked!

7. I do something, either I don't do it or I try my best. So I chose not to do it. Because I can't do it well!

8. Everyone said I was fat, as if no one had lost weight! Do you know how thin I was when I was the thinnest? Five catties! Five catties! My mom told me!

9. My wife and I live apart, and every time I think about her, I will smoke a cigarette silently. It's been a year, I quit smoking!

10. Every time someone asks for directions, I point blindly, because I don't know the way at all, and to teach the world a lesson: don't trust good-looking people casually.

1 1. I never envy people who drive luxury cars because my car is more expensive than theirs. That's the shopping cart my wife gave me!

12. Today, my friend said he would change trains with me. After listening, I agreed. He handed me a bus card when I gave him the car keys.

13. I don't need anything now except my boyfriend. As long as you can help me, you can get a girlfriend for free.

14. I think Li Shimin is so stupid. Instead of sending Tang Priest to fetch scriptures, he ate him. We are still in the heyday of the Tang Dynasty!

15. A man's anger is like setting off firecrackers, and it ends with a bang. A woman's anger is like lighting mosquito-repellent incense, keeping the temperature high and going back and forth.

16. You can never knock on all women's doors, but I can! Beauty, the courier has arrived!

17. "What would you do if your boyfriend fell into a cesspit and needed artificial respiration to get him out?" "Even the cesspit can fall into the silly man still take him? Hurry and poke it with a stick. "

18. Honey, don't worry, there will always be someone who will tolerate any shortcomings and wait for you in the wind and rain. Terrible: I can't believe it's me!

19. Let go of the hand you can't hold, it's too fat.

20. The biology teacher asked: What are the advantages of having two eyes? A wonderful flower in the class blurted out: one is blind and the other is blind.

2 1. I don't understand why there is medlar in the instant noodle vegetable bag. I am poor and eat instant noodles. Do I need to stay healthy?

22. The boudoir quarreled with her boyfriend and gave me the fruit she bought for her boyfriend. I said, "Don't leave some for my boyfriend?" She said, "Give it to the beast, not to him!" "

23. When I was leaving the mall, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

I am jealous when I see others making money, but I have no ability, so I have to change my direction and close my eyes.

25. I can't believe that the group of fat cells that I have been eating and drinking all day, when I was about to freeze to death in the cold wind, they pretended not to understand. They didn't want to set themselves on fire to keep me warm. Their hearts are so cold. Raised a group of baiwenhang!

26. I added a person to play online games. He plays well and his voice is sunny. Today, he asked me to meet him, so I went with my best friend. When I came to the appointed fast food restaurant, it turned out to be a chubby fifth-grade student who cheated me with a children's set meal.

27. Be sure to have breakfast! Of course, it is not because you are unhealthy, but because it is the cheapest meal of your day!

I can't control my mouth and my legs. After dinner, I lay in bed thinking about how to be beautiful.

29. I got ten points in the exam and was questioned by my parents. Dad kicked me first: disappointing thing! Mom went on to say, you were kicked by a donkey by that score.

How fragile is my relationship with my boyfriend? As long as I take off my makeup, maybe he will never want to see me again in his life.