Funny and deceptive routine sentences

Most people's lives are dull, but in fact there are many interesting things in ordinary daily life. Funny jokes on the internet can delight our body and mind, and happiness is actually around us. Here are some funny and deceptive routine sentences.

Funny and deceptive routine sentences 1 1. The so-called high cold is actually: a person's poor hearing+slow response+poor eyesight.

Second, when I was a child, I liked to set off firecrackers with my cousin. I made a mistake and threw the lit firecrackers into my cousin's coat pocket. Then my cousin was anxious, but the more anxious he was, the less he could get out. Finally, my cousin was anxious, hugged me and said, "I will die with you!" " As a result, our clothes are all in rags.

Third, the phone is silent. Answer the phone to see fate.

Fourth, I hope there will be wine and meat and girls in the future, and girls will be ugly.

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? If you like, why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

6. You are good-looking and I like you.

Seven, a couple is very much in love. What are you thinking now? As you can imagine. The woman immediately slapped the man and scolded him: you rascal!

Eight, worry every day that today's self is more lovely than yesterday.

Nine, particularly lazy, no special skills, but staying up late is a good hand.

10. An operator received a phone call from a customer, who stammered and spoke a little slowly: I, I, I ... I want to ask, I, I, I, I ... call charges ... the latest news ... how did this cost? The operator just said, big brother, big brother, it's you. Can it be free? Then he was fired!

Eleven, fat water does not flow outside the field, I am super sweet to find me online.

Don't brag in front of me, your eyes really can't hold up.

Thirteen, the best girlfriends: a beautiful girl, a schoolmaster and a woman.

I really want to talk about a boyfriend, but I'm afraid.

15. I'm not fat, I'm just swollen because I'm allergic to life.

Li Wanli just wants to be the woman you miss most.

Seventeen, fortune-telling grandfather said that my life and you are a perfect match.

Eighteen, I am a rich second generation, but I work for myself to earn money. I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze the bus every day. I can eat by my face. I work hard. This is the difference between me and Mingming.

Nineteen, dare to be ambiguous with me so that you don't know how to cry.

Twenty, pinch your fingers, you need me in your life. Twenty-one, I want to be a lovely and naive child.

22. If you want to know me, you should know the weather first.

Twenty-three, I haven't seen anyone for a long time, which may be kidney deficiency.

Twenty-four, my relationship with Bai Jingting has been confirmed, and it must be him on my side.

May you be loved by a handsome fool.

Twenty-six, I went to have a pregnancy test today and was beaten by more than sixty aunts. It's a good thing someone is holding it. Aunt ignored me and left. We met again when I went to the fourth floor for inspection. I saw her waiting for a urine test. I went over to remember her name. I silently went to the toilet to get some samples and changed them for her. . . . Aunt, we are destined to give you a surprise.

Twenty-seven, time tells me that the age of being unreasonable has passed, and it's time to pretend.

Twenty-eight, girlfriends, stop being afraid of marriage ... I want to marry you!

Twenty-nine, I went to the vegetable market to buy food and saw a child watching the stall. I asked, "How much is a chicken?" The child replied, "I asked again, how much are two chickens?" The child paused and didn't count it at the moment. He used his quick wits and shouted, "You can only buy one at a time!"

Thirty, girls should learn to sympathize with their boyfriends. When a boyfriend is too busy to spend time with himself, he finds other boys to accompany him. They should not let their boyfriends suffer and be sensible girls.

Does your family know that you are so stupid? I don't know. I don't know.

2. In the tortoise-rabbit race, there was a stupid pig as the referee. Who won the tortoise and rabbit race? B: Tortoise shell: Well, that's what the pig said.

3. "Would you like to be my sun?" "I do." "Then please keep 92955886.7 kilometers with me."

4. "Hello, may I know you?" "Why?" "I think your future has something to do with me."

5. What is the roaring dog in the sky, and what is the next god? Next is the dog!

6. Are you my best friend? Yes I just watched TV and said that dogs are man's best friends. ...

7. Do you want a face that falls from the sky (the answer is thick-skinned) (the answer is not shameless).

8. "I am in good health." I can't stand the wind and rain. "I just can't remember you."

9. Say it ten times ...? Are you different from a pig? Answer quickly, no!

10, I will live for a day? Live what? You can die as soon as you turn over.

1 1, "I want to lose weight, they are thinner than me", "I like you but I don't like them".

12. Let me ask you a question. What is a pig, sheep, dog or pig? Alas!

13, male: "I have a girlfriend" female: "Then she must be very beautiful!" Man: "Why are you so narcissistic?"

14, "Don't you feel bad for me?" "The heart is in your place. Whether it hurts or not, you can do it yourself. "

15, I think you are too narcissistic. Honestly, did you grow up like this? The beauty pageant won the top three at most.

16, "Do you believe in love at first sight?" "I don't know." "Why don't I try to pass you again?"

17, I have lost ten knives, two, how many more? Eight (Dad).

18, "Do you want a dog?" "What dog?" "The single kind."

19, I think you are so strange today. Is it strange there? It's beautiful! !

20. "I want to travel recently and want to travel around the world." "Let's go." "Well, I'll walk around you tomorrow."

2 1, this is my new windproof lighter. Can't you blow it out? What kind of lighter do you have? Windproof but not fart!

22. I am a grain, you are a horse, and together we are a piece of Shaqima.

23, others love you just want to sleep with you, I am different, sofa, kitchen, can be.

24. "What is not north and south in the world?" I am not a thing.

25. "I'm looking for a store?" "What shop?" "Your phone."

26. You're just having fun. Why should I snicker? Because I love you.

27, finished, you also ignore me, I became a dog ignore.

Do you like getting rich? Yes, but I didn't. Why? Because I like to hug you.

The deceptive routine sentence 3 1, "People can't live without oxygen, but I can. Do you know why?" "I don't know" "because I have you, a naughty boy."

2. "Who do you like?" "It's not you anyway." "Will you die if you lie to me?" "cheated, you are not dead!"

3. My friend said that my stomach was black. I decisively lifted my shirt and pointed to his white belly. It's white.

4. "Guess what constellation I am", "Gemini" and "Wrong, I made it for you"

5. "365 days a year. Guess which day I like? " "I like every day with you."

6. I'm going to put you aside to dry and bring it back.

7. This morning in spring, I woke up relaxed, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night, and couldn't wake up during the day.

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, and falling in love with you is my happy choice; Pursuing you is the starting point of my happiness; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

9. I must work hard, otherwise people will say, look, that man is nothing but good-looking.

10, I don't know what frivolity is, I only know that the winner is king.

1 1. The boy at that station was very handsome, so I went forward and grabbed his potato chips and ran away.

12, benefactor, you are bullying the poor monk, and the poor monk will lose face to God.

13, if the exam can be upgraded, I'm afraid it's still a negative score.

14, I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

15, I have three sentences to tell you, including the following one. Thank you for finishing.