Degang Guo's classic lines

Deserve it, die ~ ~ ~

I am used to being on the kang at home.

Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen?

Non-famous crosstalk actor "Degang Guo"

Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

Friends on the third floor ... Hello! ! !

Crosstalk pays attention to four lessons: pit, cover, turn and cheat!

Is there this sentence for the backstage?

Sing the truth more than 16 thousand times

Spend 200 yuan to buy a pig, squeak water, eat beans, throw it over the wall, squeak, guess what ~ ~ ~ dead!

Cough is not only free ~

Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true.

I'm dying.

Wild animals in the mountains are swallows in the clouds, cattle and sheep on the land are fresh at the bottom of the sea, monkeys have bird's nest shark wings, and scallops have deer tail tips! Throw away your cheeks and open your back teeth. Food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like wind and clouds, like being thrown into a box.

Regardless of the law, I will kill him.

Don't even like the slag river? You forgot your roots! ! !

I've been an artist for over a week ~ ~ ~

Six grenades for a dollar. I'll throw you a hundred dollars first!

Pancakes and steamed bread are eaten with rice.

Crosstalk is good! Promote truth, goodness and beauty, and musk is healthy.

English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic, West Slavic ... can speak eight foreign languages, which has nothing to do with scolding Eight-Nation Alliance.

Not far from now. If you have an old man at home, you can go back and ask him-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.

Rogues know martial arts, and no one can stop them

Thank God for the pot.

A scientist with a way of doing things.

The house we live in is riddled with holes, and when it rains, it will kill us: it rains outside, and it rains outside, and sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

I'm interested in your work.

This depends on rice, four dishes and one soup. Pepper shredded potatoes, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, shredded pork with fish flavor, cucumber patties and rice are enough.

Say another one. What are you talking about? Say something practical.

Yu Qian is a good man, no matter how to deal with people or do business on stage, to tell the truth, bah! ..... no, just a bug in his mouth. ...

Yu Qian, what a corner kick! Say funny ... say nothing.

Do you care? Did I tell you? I can't do this with you!

What's your name? Don't say that. This is a curse.

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

I don't often watch the rule of law.

Who doesn't know that Yu Qian has never eaten pork?

It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I'm sweating. You see, people don't sweat, but they sweat all the time.

We will hold a ... this year is his "third anniversary of becoming an artist"

We want Yu Qian to commit suicide to thank the world. ...

Yu Laoqian, Yu, Yu Shaoqian, Yu Zaiqian, Yu Huanqian ...

Yu Qian is a perfect man in my heart ... This man is finished.

You worship me! You worship me. You're already human.

Brain people, like pine nuts, open them and cook them in a bowl.

Thank you for your encouragement!

This can't be done. This ...................!

I was wrong! I was wrong. Do something for me!

What a good boy Jing Li is.

I'm glad many people came.

Did all these troublemakers donate money to God 7?

Bargaining makes more money than sailing.

From today on, I will never eat lobster again!

I thought you bought this wig for processing. Oh, it's true.

The young man looks like an actor with his face covered. ...

Since everyone likes it, let me tell you another one ~ ~ ~ Why don't I remember saying one?

Let's not lose heart! !

Have a beer or two and four nuts. Wait a minute. .....

I am a second-hand scientist

We haven't eaten for days. Everyone looks like pancakes.

Pancake steamed bread with rice is time-consuming and solid.

A picturesque country with spring-like seasons-Tongxian and Baoding. .......

From a botanical point of view, ...

Two more dates and all the cakes will be ready.

Are you out of your mind?

Die together (go)

Why did you pinch it just now?

The beauty of one thought

Look at your face, you are quite happy.

I'm young, please forgive me. How do I know this?

300, whether Jin Yong or the wife of the American embassy, 300.

Hire ten people to hold red hoops, and I scold them every day.

Do whatever the guests ask. Why don't you argue about a hundred dollars?

Performing for you is Jing Li, the little leader of Beijing School. ...

There are more than 1000 traditional cross talks. After our efforts, there are still 400 yuan left. ...

Nobody cares, you won't hear it when you go to the garden tomorrow!

Maid: bituminous coal, wintersweet, apricot, honeycomb coal.

And tell me about that big girl, who walks with a jingle, "dadada ~ dadada ~ dadada ~ ~ ~ ~"

"I am the representative of Yu Qingbing! I am a chastity woman, a professional chastity woman! "

In this appreciation program of Tang poetry and Song poetry ...

Women are known on the kang, and shoes are known on the kang.

Practice holding a bike first.

It's not easy to touch each other

Something serious, something Elgin.

I am getting old, and my two sons worry me.

Speak less if you are in poor health.

I'm glad many people came.

Backstage Beggars' Sect Young Master, Big Eye Team Li.

Five immortals cross the sea, three immortals stew.

Those who live in Taiwan Province Province ... 105 won't have a car.

Crosstalk is good! Promote truth, goodness and beauty, and musk is healthy.

What is peacekeeping? Keep peace. Where is CSI? Too old to keep the peace!

Corporal James, a five-star general

The blonde closed her eyes.

Dissatisfied ~ ~ ~ dissatisfied with planting you in the garden!

Sometimes I say something wrong, and I can do it again later!

Beautiful, with a beard like Zhang Fei.

Science is very rigorous.

A scientist with a way of doing things.

Want to go to the Spring Festival Gala for shame.

A skilled woman (prostitute)

Thousands of years of cultural accumulation and lifelong learning and tempering bring you temporary joy and intoxication, which is Quyi.

Some people are short of houses, cars, money and morals.

Please, please, I want to eat today.

English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic, West Slavic ......

My family lives in Tongxian, a picturesque country with four seasons like spring.

When a woman is beautiful, she will say, "that face looks like mine-a little thinner than mine" and "the ring is jingling"

After the constant efforts of our actors, it finally came to nothing.

Bloomers, leather shoes, suspenders, holding a copy of Jin Ping Mei.

The sincere love between Simon and Jinlian.

Let's meet some other time.

Man struggles upwards, but urine flows downwards.

"It's interesting that Mr. Wang! It's a bit interesting here! "

The old man has a big belly!

There are palm-width hair with hairtail tattooed on the chest.

There is no grandpa here, there is his position; I won't leave you anywhere. I'll vote for the railway.

No, you, why? Oh, I was so worried.

Walking, er, there was a question mark in front, and Liu Bei jumped, er ~ a mushroom appeared, and after eating it, Liu Bei grew taller. Further on, there is a question mark. When touched, a flower will appear. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand and "toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot" to shoot bullets! Here comes the tortoise with wings.

This is not a newspaper, we want to get a 2；;

Looks like a car accident scene;

I make you happy;

Give two pounds of mutton to drink;

This is the first person in ancient and modern times.

I have flying wisdom!

As thin as a goat.

"Do you want me to move it for you? Ah! .. I'll move it! I got it. I'll move it! Let me move it for you! .. I'll move it! ...."

"More than ten thousand foreign guests are waiting in the hutong ..."

Completely smash the dream of burning donkey meat.

If you want to die, I will bury it!

Only one tooth is still stuffed, eat lotus root.

The Queen Mother cooked jiaozi, and the Jade Emperor squatted at the door with garlic in his arms.

You are in good health! It's no problem to live for another two months

At first, I thought the carburetor was broken. Upon inspection, it was found that the pedal was loose.

What prison, juvie, all gone, I can't find you.

There are four plates on the table. Open the first one. Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! The third one opens, peanuts, no vinegar, and the fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar.

If you have the strength to unload the car by the river, you will make a fortune.

I can't stand holding this book Jin Ping Mei ~

Eat steak, not beef. I like onions. Put more onions.

Eat apples by the pool, love to be clean and rinse.

In order to bid farewell to these days when white clothes come and go like snow, at the age of 85, I resolutely put on a wig and went to secularization.

Friday is usually a noisy day, and later they all say it's ours.

The whole northeast stew head. .......

It's called love, but it's not in pork.

It's almost May Day, so busy, so busy.

Golden bell jar, iron underpants

Iron shorts, iron shorts, our pronunciation in Russian is different!

Let's speak Beijing dialect well! ?

Hey-what an interesting old man! I should have shot him twice!

I don't sell it in a hair salon, I buy it in a hair salon!

Cloning requires skill.

What kind of craft? That's called procedure, procedure.

Prepare a large white porcelain jar and dry it inside and out with a rag.

Pump 500 Jin of oil first.

I ... my gross weight is only 100 Jin.

Put another photo of Zhang Wenshun, put a pair of glasses next to it, cover it and press it to the cooking position.

Find all the remaining pancakes.

Spend a dollar to buy a bottle of mineral water, and you will vomit after drinking it. Fake!

whatever

It has been watered.

That's water.

Buy a dollar of watermelon and weigh it on time.

That needs to be discussed by others.

Wear a fox coat in summer

There are no clothes on the bottom.

Law-abiding and melancholy, singing hard every night. Riding a mule harms others, is honest and fair, and is hungry. Building bridges and roads is blind, and there are many people who kill and set fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said-no way.

Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching fake balls, listening to fake songs, wearing fake brand names and wearing fake hoods. Turtles are real in the world, also called turtles.

Born, eunuch (generation) ~ ~

The moonlight in front of the window, will it have frosted? I looked up and found it was moonlight. I'm Degang Guo!

If you want a hamburger, wrap a piece of paper and open it. Want to eat crabs, uncover them; Want to drink milk, take the steamed bread and pull it. ...

Everyone looks like a sesame seed cake.

I am richer than them. I eat Daoxiao Noodles, Lamian Noodles, beef noodles and instant noodles.

I have been an artist for so many years.

Governors love noodles, such as Lamian Noodles, Lamian Noodles and Daoxiao Noodles. Let's just say that he likes noodles anyway.

In the big round-backed chair where you asked the fat man to sit, all your meat was stuffed into the empty seat of the chair, all stuffed. Now you drag the chair down from a stop.

As soon as touts came in, the governor looked up. "Yo, I was looking for you. Today I want to discuss state affairs with you. " When touts are happy, the guards never do this. "Excuse me, my Lord, what's the big deal?" "Yesterday, I invented another one."

Your marriage is unfortunate! Married twice in middle age, the first time the woman was taken back by her master; That woman became the daughter-in-law of your apprentice for the second time.

It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I'm sweating. You see others (Yu Qian) are not sweating, but others are sweating.

Tired of digging rivers among the ugly goddesses, the fairy wrote a line on the ground-I must succeed.

The ugly one-I wish you success.

-You're wrong!

-nonsense, this is called robbery!

Sprite with gun bottle, lighter with gun. When you arrive at Tiananmen Square, you shout, "I want to practice!" " "

At her age, at my age, she won't listen to anything. She was crushed to death by her tongue Jumping into the Yellow River won't wash it off. I have to take care of this (face)

Degang Guo: Brother, I hope the world will be peaceful, the people will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, okay?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that creative, really, really. I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

I brought a photo of Li Jing when I touched my body. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples-Jing Li. He looks very cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, huh? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

There is a man on the ground and a watch in the sky, corresponding to it. Good people turn slowly, bad people turn fast. What about Jing Li? Not here, oh, be a fan in the house of god.

I am Degang Guo, an unknown crosstalk performer in China.

Student Degang Guo pays tribute to my parents.

Now there is a TV show, and the actress has to sleep with the male director. I am cruel (what are you cruel). You actresses have all gone to bed. Where are our actors? There are really too few female directors.

It hurts me to death ~ ~

She has mane and eyebrows, big eyes and black charcoal. She has no beard, but she looks like Zhang Fei!

Complete works of Mr. Guo's fixed pastoral poems

The general was born heroic, with his waist across the autumn water, the wind blowing drums, mountains and rivers, lightning flags and the sun and the moon shining high.

There is an ant in the unicorn hole in the sky. Can it escape from peace? When we come back, my husband and I will unbutton our shirts.

It is difficult to keep a wolf as a dog and look after the house at the same time.

Shortly after the ink dyed the cormorant black, the crow was painted white.

Candied Huang Lian will suffer eventually, but melons and fruits are not sweet.

Good deeds must be done by good people, and mortals can't be immortals.

"Jinshan bamboo shadow in one thousand, the cloud locks high, and the water flows naturally.

Wanli Yangtze River floats with jade belts, and a bright moon rolls golden balls.

As far away as Hubei, three thousand miles. As far as sixteen states in the south of the Yangtze River.

I can't see the beautiful scenery for a while, but I have a lucky chance to travel in the world of pictorial. "

-Degang Guo Ganlong

"Lushan bamboo shadow in one thousand, cloud lock peak water gravity.

Wanli Yangtze River floats with jade belts, and a bright moon rolls golden balls.

There are 3,000 borders in the northwest of Yao Lu, and there are millions of states in the southeast.

The scenery can't be seen for a while, so lucky chance has a chance to see it again. "

-Zhu Yuanzhang

"Castle peak pine shadow in one thousand, cloud lock peak water gravity.

Wan Li River floats with jade belts, and a bright moon rolls golden balls.

Looking three thousand miles in the north of Saibei, sixteen continents in the south of the Yangtze River are nearsighted.

The beautiful scenery is endless, so lucky opportunities will come again. "

-Kangxi

"Longchuan bamboo shadow in one thousand, the cloud locks the peak water,

Wanli Yangtze River floats with jade belts, and a bright moon rolls golden balls.

Looking at the northwest of the 3 thousand border from a distance, it is likely to drown the twelve States in the south of the Yangtze River.

I can't see all the good scenery for a while, so the lucky opportunity will come again in the future. "

-Qianlong

Old vines and faint crows, small bridges and flowing water. The old road is thin, the sun is setting, and the heartbroken people are in the hospital.

A son steals his father, and a horse with thin hair and fat hoofs is not a thief. The blind uncle married the blind grandmother, and the old couple spent most of their lives without seeing anyone.

Sexy romance is not that enemies don't get together. Just for adultery, it is difficult to protect his wife and children. If you hit the front, you will be full of evil behind you, and the retribution will start, and all evil will come first. So, it's a hook in the media.

If you look straight, you will bend, but it is difficult to keep a wolf as a dog. Soon after the cormorant is dyed black by ink, it is not firm to paint the crow white. Honey soaked in Huang Lian will eventually be bitter, but picking melons and fruits can't be sweet. Good deeds must be done by good people, and mortals can't be immortals.

Telling stories and singing operas to persuade people, the three continents take the center. Good and evil will eventually be rewarded, and the right path in the world will change.

The Mid-Autumn Festival in August is white dew, and pedestrians on the road are desolate; The bridge is full of flowers and rice, and I miss it day and night. Not at ease, reading articles early in the morning; After ten years of hard study, you can only be wise and broad.

Moral three emperors and five emperors, fame Xia Houshang Zhou Dynasty; The five heroes in the Spring and Autumn Period made an insurrection, and instantly rose and fell! A few names on the history of qing dynasty, there are countless barren hills in Beijiang; Our predecessors' fields were taken away by later generations, and they said something about enter the dragon.

Law-abiding and melancholy, strong beam and singing at night, riding a mule and hurting others, fair and hungry. Building bridges and roads is blind, killing and setting fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, and the Buddha said, No way!

The most serious injury is the cold weather at night, and the skinny people are miserable. Inviting wine to ruin the intestines, three cups of drunkenness, seeking fragrance and dreaming, five more cold. There were tears in Feng's eyes, so I didn't have a chance to spend them. Small building lonely heart full moon, it is difficult to circle.

Wine is poison, color is steel knife, wealth is curse, and gas is smokeless. No wine, no banquet, colorless human extinction, no money, no road, no gas, but being bullied.

Qian Sun Zhao Li, Wu Zhou Zheng Wang, Chen Feng Chu Wei, cut sugar for cake.

Horse hair has long hoofs, and the old couple sleep on the kang. The old man wanted to sleep on the kang, but his wife wouldn't let him sleep. The old man picked it up? The door handle, the wife holding the rolling pin, the old couple banging at dawn, the kang is cold, and no one touches the hot kang.

The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? Looking up, I found it was moonlight. My name is Degang Guo.

Prostitutes, skilled women.

How dare you join the beggar's gang! Dressed up very well!

I went out as soon as I pulled the heart protector. I had an impulse!

Today is a good day, beginning of autumn, and it's another day to stick on autumn fat. I ate four or two vegetarian fried cakes at noon today, and I believe everyone posted autumn fat.

Starting from next year, today is National Day.

Take a taxi ... we don't want six points, we want two points!

I don't sit in the front. I have to pay for sitting in the front! !

Everybody sit tight, I want to get on the super plane.

There is a big seat.

Mr. Guo, why is that sheep in the tree? What's going on here? (Henan dialect)

Do you have any chicken? Attendant: "shh! I am! " (Niu x) hilarious

Call 1.2 (Li Xia)

The program is a show, and the audience is increasing!

Big pills, six taels, made of cut cakes.

This is tattooed with hairtail.

Master, do you want a plate? What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food? ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Oh, look at Nezha! !

"Do you know where the ox is?" Make the police happy ... "I'm looking for it too!"

"There is good news and bad news, which do you listen to?" "What's the bad news?" "We are lost. I don't know this place. It is estimated that we can only live by cow dung in the future. " "What's the good news?" "Cow dung have a plenty of! ! "

It's chilly in the sky, and hydrangeas are rolling on the ground. Steamed buns are steamed buns and steamed buns are steamed buns.

Yu Qian is a good man, no matter how to deal with people or do business on stage, to tell the truth, bah! ..... no, just a bug in his mouth ... especially this one.

I think we must get it here. Let's go

It's wicked to put the wicked in the car. It's evil to catch some salt for the wicked.

Stir-fried sesame bean curd with scallion oil pants

This thing is amazing.

I hate it in my heart.

What's your name? Don't say that. This is a curse.

Poke a noodle lock and it will open, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

Well, look at your shameless appearance. You have my youthful charm.

Pan! Pan? Baihejiao

Looks like Altman.

I want to be related to him. In fact, his daughter likes me very much, but her son-in-law opposes it.

Describe the MM who walks well: the wind swings the lotus leaf and the rain hits the banana.

There is another one that is often used between sentences: ... Speaking of which. ...

The film tycoon Yu Qian misses his father, Mr. Wang Lao! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Let him burn the boiler, but I'm afraid he will steal coal to eat.

Poorer than Hou!

Apple face and cherry eyes. . . . . . There is a fruit stand on the whole face.

Sun accepted the magic.

It's my turn to hit him Can I hit him more? Can I hit someone?

For you, everything is worth it except death.

The most exciting thing is that sentence: live ~ ~ ... die ~ ~ ~ cut!

You want to be crazy, you want to be crazy!

Zhier took a sip of wine and snapped a bite of food.

I am beautiful because of you.

I really saw it, and even saw the paint fall off. I'm coming, I'm coming, and there's nothing to worry about after that!

Please, garlic must not be eaten as a staple food.

The truth coming out of my throat ~! !

I am a scientist, where can I argue?

From a botanical point of view, ...

Looking at beautiful women under the lamp, the more you look, the more energetic you are!

Add ten dollars of gasoline!

You lend me a knife, and I'll fan you to death!

Many cross talks are made up, but this one is true.

This is my porcelain ~

This depends on rice, four dishes and one soup. Shredded Chili potatoes, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, shredded pork with fish flavor, and cucumber patting are enough for dinner ~

If you say a wrong word, you will say, this is a polyphonic word ~

That's reasonable

How good is it?

It's ... look. ...

That's great.

Thank you for your encouragement!

When we were in the Quyi Troupe, we won the first prize in 100! Whether you learn to sing 100 or not, you will write 100 if you fail the exam.

Yu Qian, no! He is stupid, always 30 or 25. He tried once! Practice every day! After practicing for a week, 17 took the exam again.

How can a fortune teller do well in the exam? Someone told him that eating a pair of fried dough sticks and eggs before the exam can get a 100 score.

How obedient! I finished the exam. He was the first to eat eggs at 0 o'clock.

A few years ago, Zhang Yimou directed an opera: Plano wanted to find four crosstalk performers, all of whom wore coats and shaved their heads like Mr. Wang: Thanks! This is too much, isn't it?

No matter how big the wrist is, there is no ancestor. Don't do this!

Taiping Lyrics Single Knife Meeting Finally: Guan Yunchang was furious after reading it! Call a thief. Your name is Yu Qian.

This one is so famous! Men, women and children all know him! Hey, what's your name again? Stop it! You call it a curse!

Hello, everyone. I am the host of the legal system. Niu Ge, I'm glad so many people came.

The son is nicknamed Xiaoshan, and the son is nicknamed Xiaohai.

Yu Hai doesn't sound good.

Your name is Qian (money), so add ten thousand words to your son!

Wan Hai, do you know what your father said?

I don't bully people! Bully me, no!

You don't know me? yai？

What's your exclamation?

I'm from Tsinghua!

Tsinghua pool?

Well, tsinghua pool takes a bath! You said it belonged to Hufang Bridge!

Who are you?

I'm from Huguang Club!

Same!

Can you send another article like this?

All right! Do you want textbooks or paperweights?

All I just ate were textbooks. Give me a paperweight.

Mr. Kim's cell phone rang: Deng Deng Deng Deng Deng!

Sharpen scissors, wall knives and kitchen knives!

Hey! Hey! Shit!

PHS!

Principal? Do you sell direct cards everywhere?

How did I learn it? How can I teach you!

Great!

I learned it as a son.

Huh?

But how can I be embarrassed about our relationship?

This is not right.

Two days less.

Pay 15 yuan, and deduct 70% tax from the performance fee, regardless of food, accommodation and income.

Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun 90 1 Flight fare 5 yuan. Please board the plane.

When a fairy came down to earth, she first landed on her face.

Looks like a car accident.

Yang, whose apprentice?

What did the circus and the bear teach? What did fifteen people teach by cycling? What did the Beijing Opera Sanchakou teach? Since crosstalk is so powerful, why can't our income go up? Let cross talk educate people, that is to destroy humanity! Let go of the sound.

At the end of the exchange, you can't give full gifts with armor on your body!

Regardless of the law, I will kill him.

I have money at home and drive a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

The old man has only one tooth left, and his cheekbones. What's going on here? Eat lotus root and put it in your eyes.

The audience and Mr. Guo said this sentence three or four times together: die ~ ~ haha, Mr. Guo was very moved to say thank you to everyone. When everyone said it together for the third time, Mr. Guo said impromptu: Thank you, thank you, I will show you around in the future! Ha, ha, ha. Teacher Guo's efforts are great and the audience is great!

Have a cigarette and say "coming"

I have copied it today.

Eight Fan Screens: "The first part is' the wind blows the waves on the water', what is the second part?" "You are stubborn and won't copy and paste it there."

"An De Wan Dong": "I patted my eyes with the demolition office (it seems to be a slip of the tongue)-striking the table and glaring." "Until you shoot blind."

Learn a tune: "Why can't you shoot the stars in the sky when you set off fireworks?" Because the stars will twinkle. ""This question is too profound. "

Learn a tune: "What line do monkeys fear most?" "High-voltage line, let alone monkeys, I am afraid of this." "No .. I am most afraid of parallel lines, because they never intersect (bananas)."

Send a plaque to his father, and write four big characters "Thieves are too bright"; -Boasting about residence

"I'm sorry I can't give a full gift when I'm wearing armor"-buy a cup of tea.

I'm from Welsh Onion University-the article will.

There are quite a lot of Japanese in China now, and I hate Japanese. There are many Japanese where I live. There is a couple, although the Japanese are generally not tall, but this couple is extremely tall, male 1.2 m, female 1. 1 m, they have been playing aristocratic sports and love golf. When they are free, they always hit a small steel ball with a small stick and pick it up. After the ball hits 10 meter, it will take them half a day to pick it up. They had a good time. One day, it broke down.

After the fight, I went to find that I had broken someone else's glass. Looking through the glass, there is a broken antique vase inside, and their ball is on the ground next to it. They knocked at the door at once. When they saw a man inside, they said, Sorry, we accidentally broke the glass and antiques while playing ball. Let's apologize. The man said, don't apologize, I have to thank you both. These two Japanese people don't understand. What's going on here?

The man said, I am not an ordinary person. I am a fairy. I stayed in that vase all the time. You saved my life today. I can't come out until the vase is broken. Wow, the couple were happy and told the fairy that they all said they could make a wish and help us do anything after saving the fairy. The fairy said, well, ask if you have any requirements. The man said, I want land and resources in China. Do you agree? The fairy said, well, you can have it when you go home. The woman said, I want all the gold and jewels in China. The fairy said that when you go home, you will have gold and jewels. At this time, the fairy said, my fairy has limited strength and can only promise you 1 person 1. I have to keep 1 for myself. Can you satisfy me? The couple said, no problem. We Japanese are the most honest. We assure you. Go ahead. The fairy said, I have been in the vase 1000 years. I am very happy to meet your wife today. I wish I could stay in bed with your wife for a while. The Japanese man was very unhappy and said, you have to add 5 yuan. The fairy said, the money will be in your bed when you get home. The fairy brought the woman into the house. The man is waiting outside. After waiting for 2 hours, the door opened and the fairy and the lady came out. They sat down to have a rest. The fairy smoked a cigarette and said, how old are you? The Japanese said, we are all 27. The fairy said, at the age of 27, you are still so simple-minded. Do you still believe there are immortals in the world? The audience applauded. Master Guo said that crosstalk is to persuade people to be good, but as an actor, it is an obligation to carry forward patriotism. -the little paragraph behind the dream marriage

That day, there was a happy event at home. . . The house is on fire.

"Time slips away in your hands like spun yarn-the dark table in the book ..." "Hey! Hello! Just be Xu Zhimo and Dan Tianfang for a while. "

"Qin Shihuang, you rogue, you dare to mention him in the future, that is: Qin (poultry) flu (dare)"

After education, he is a rogue ~ ~

The charge is too high ~ ~

Confucius taught us: Sun ~ ~ thief ~ ~

Deserve it, die ~ ~ ~

A poem from the Tang Dynasty ~ ~

You can ask the old people at home when this happened in the Boxer Rebellion. ..........

Why do you want to pinch ~ ~ ~

Today is just a cake ~ ~ ~

It's raining outside, it's raining inside, it's raining outside, it's raining inside, sometimes it's too heavy, so the whole family goes to the yard to carry the rain ~ ~

That's all I can do for you ~ ~ ~

A face of heart-protecting hair ~ ~ ~

Others sell two dollars, you sell three dollars. You must be crazy ~ ~ ~

Do you care (rogue) ~ ~ ~

I put down the butcher knife, you give me a break ~ ~ ~

Green Fire International Hotel ~ ~ ~

Grow up, I'm your father.

Oh, my God. Who's the apprentice? What is wrong with me?

Luckily, I fell to my death.

Brother Qian: Which university are you from?

Degang Guo: What do you care? Did I tell you? I can't live with you.