Degang Guo's classic funny jokes.

1: Walking, alas, there is a question mark in front, and Liu Bei is "surprised". Ah, a mushroom came out to eat, and Liu Bei grew taller. Still moving forward, another, a question mark, touched it, and a flower came out. After eating the flowers, Liu Bei raised his hand and fired bullets "toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot"! Thorny son, and then the tortoise came. ...

2: What's your name? Ah! What's your name? Stop it! Saying it is a curse!

You know my appetite, and I don't like roast duck, so I can't eat it after eating four. I said, I really can't eat. I have to eat when I get home later.

3: My God, it's so * * *!

4. Listening to cross talk more shows that you are patriotic. There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Can he sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him anyway? Tell him you listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand! " Ignoring the law, I would have killed him! He can cross talk in a foreign language in July and August, but he doesn't understand!

The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family goes to the yard to take shelter from the rain.

We decided that we wanted to fly in heaven, and one of the two birds wanted to make cauliflower.

7: Are you willing to listen, are you willing to listen, or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

8: This guy robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

9: You look like my charm.

10: hmm? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week. I ...

1 1:: Brother, I hope the world will be peaceful, and the people in the world will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, okay?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that easy. Really, brother, I'm not refuting your face. I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else. I brought a photo of Yu Qian when I touched him. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. His name is Yu Qian (Jing Li). He looks cold and can't find anyone. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

12: I have money at home and drive a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, and "chug chug". Oh, three jumps.

At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

13: From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

14: If there are six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you one hundred dollars first. If the law didn't care, I would have killed you!

The young man looks like an actor. ...

16: ok! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... sitting on a big hat, Li Xia didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but they all went to the United States ... and flew to the United States for half a year, adding more than 40,000 oil.

17: Guo: What should I do? I'm so rich. I don't know how to spend it Hey? ! Yu Qian, why don't I take care of you?

Will you take care of me? !

Guo: Ah ... no ... No matter how rich we are, we must choose our looks!

18: Shouxing Lao: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something has come up.

Jade Emperor: What happened to the birthday girl?

Shouxing Lao: Do you have a hammer and nails? Let me use it. My sika deer bit the railing.

Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what can I say about you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

19: Degang Guo: I found a good job as soon as I arrived here, building a chimney of more than 70 meters!

Yu Qian: Not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I turned the drawing upside down and they told me to dig a well!

20: Guo: Hey ~ ~! There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I want to say to the village chief: I am willing to go. If I have to put a limit on that salary, I hope it is: 400 yuan.

2 1: It's cold. I'll give you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the belt buckle down and put it in my pocket. Sew it yourself.

22: Paris ... You know, there is a zoo in Paris ... The zoo is opposite ... Hey ... There is a clothes seller in the zoo ... You can't say you buy clothes ... You have to say you want goods. ...

23: Eating food is like a train. To sum up, it is shopping-eating, shopping-eating, shopping-eating.

24. Women in the new era have gone to the hall, climbed over the fence, hit mistresses and hooligans, but they just can't get out of the kitchen.

25: If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so. Don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry. ........

26: heartless, can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, and be a man without fatigue.

27: Good friends don't need too much. Two is enough. Someone is willing to lend you money. He asks you for a debt, and the other party is willing to kill him.

It's not that I don't want to be a lady, it's life that makes me a bitch. ...........

29: I always feel that the bed is too neat, and it is a bit interesting to spend my old age safely. Well, it's still messy and energetic. ......

30: It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

3 1: The geography teacher asked: What are the four oceans? I replied: pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat.

I said to the mirror: mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful in the world? The mirror is broken.

33: People who like me are good people. Those who don't like me are all bad people. Nobody hates me.

34: I am good-looking, so you should be patient.

35: Driving is not difficult, but there are new people!

36: I'm chasing Cupid's bow and arrow, and you're flying in a bulletproof vest!

Me Before You, my world is black and white. After knowing you, wow, it's all black.

38: Feel like two pigs, because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

When I love you, you hit me and scold me, but I endured it. I do not love you anymore. Please touch me again.

Today, a customer went to the bank to withdraw his deposit. The next sentence "Hello, it's time for me to die" made me faint.

4 1: Not farting will suffocate your heart. Don't push, exercise.

42: Behind a failed woman, there is always an eventful man.

43: "Grandpa, how can I go to America?" "Ask the village chief."

44: You don't need electricity to speak loudly.

45: Don't go after the party, go to eat. Whoever goes will pay.

I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. The old gentlemen in Tianjin began to leave on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. I dropped my pedal. ...

47: The traditional cross talk left by the old gentleman always has more than 1000 paragraphs. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, it has basically been lost. ...

There are no tickets at the railway station. Thanks to my girlfriend, I found a policeman and asked, "Do you know where the conductor is?" Pol.ice: "I'm looking for it, too!" " "

You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

50: If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

5 1: I killed him a long time ago, regardless of the law!

52: This guy robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

53: You look like my charm.

54: Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

55: Degang Guo: Brother, I hope the world will be peaceful, the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, and there will be no war, ok?

God thought about it. Let's tell the truth about this difficulty. I'm not that capable. Really, really, I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

When I touch my body, I bring other people's photos. Brother, look at this. This is my other disciples. They look cold and can't find anyone. Please make him beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up photos).

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo, huh? I don't agree. I don't agree. Why tear it? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

56: I have money at home and drive a Cadillac with 13 doors. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump.

At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take your magic."

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