A funny copy.

1. Look at your five senses, each with its own characteristics, and no one will obey anyone.

2. the daily state of eating: enjoy in your mouth and want to be thin in your heart.

3. A woman has the pain of her father when she is young, her husband when she grows up, and her son when she is old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.

Many people ask me what is the secret of quitting smoking. It's actually quite simple. Too lazy to go downstairs to buy cigarettes, too poor to barely go downstairs to buy cigarettes.

Some people keep your number to call you, but I'm different. I refuse to answer.

The child was called a stupid bird by his parents because of his poor grades. The child said unconvinced that there are three kinds of stupid birds in the world, one is flying first, and the other is too tired to fly. Parents asked: What about the third one? The child said: this kind of thing is the most annoying. If you can't fly, you will lay eggs in the nest and ask the next generation to fly hard.

7. "What is the most crowded bus you have ever taken?" "I just passed the bus, but I was squeezed into it."

8. Now, what you can't get up is your grades, what you can't get down is your weight, what you can afford to put down is chopsticks, and what you can't get in and out is the quilt.

9. A person who plays with you will only say to you: Don't go, just stay with me for a while. But a person who loves you will say to you: fool, it's so late, go back quickly, and don't make your husband suspicious.

10. What are the similarities between work and weighing scale? It can make you know your weight quickly.

1 1. If you have something unhappy, don't keep it in your heart, it will be better to say it. So tell me all the unhappy things and make me happy.

12. Watching TV with my husband at night, in which the hero died for the heroine! So I asked my husband, dear, are you willing to die for me? My husband was silent for a while and said, I dare not say, for fear that you will let me die. ...

13. Mom: You should get married! Me: Is it necessary to be happy when you get married? I have a classmate who has been married three times. Why bother? Mom: If the marriage is bad, how many people can get married three times?

14. I recently made a girlfriend, but I didn't expect her family to disagree. If she doesn't agree, then she can forget it. She also hit me, especially her husband, the hardest.

15. When I came back from a poor tour, I shouted, "Mom, I'm hungry. I can't remember when I ate my last meal! " "Mom didn't look up and replied," Don't worry, take your time. "

16. You look good in everything, not necessarily because you look good, but also because you are so ugly that your clothes don't look good.

17. when a man wants to jump off a building, his wife shouts, honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! Hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, you really shouldn't threaten him like this!

18. When I was in college, a classmate was from the northeast, 1.9 meters tall and quite strong. One day, he made a midnight snack for me to eat. I took a big bowl, which was quite embarrassing. When I got there, I saw a basin of noodles on the table and went to fish for noodles. As a result, my northeast classmate was anxious: "There is nothing in the pot. What's in my bowl? "

19. Everyone says my fish is very good. My secret is: feed once a day, change the water once every three days, brush the tank once every five days and change the fish once a week.

20. That night, I sat on the sixth floor for eight hours. I lost control of my emotions more than 10 times, and my right eyelid jumped 99 times. I was distressed all night, and finally I don't know how I lost my fifty cents.

2 1. A friend's birthday. I bought her a present online. I said to my boss, "Can you write me a note? Happy birthday! " After receiving the gift, my friend called me: "Who is Zhang Tiao?"

22. You can find a good job by investing in your resume; You don't have to work if you have the right child.

23. I just graduated in my twenties, and the salary gap is a little small. Calm down and get used to it when the wage gap in your thirties is getting bigger and bigger.

24. Success comes from hard work the day after tomorrow, so let's have a rest today and tomorrow.