Wedding Etiquette and Custom in Fengxin County, Jiangxi Province

Marriage custom in Fengxin, Jiangxi Province

In the long feudal society, Fengxin's marriage customs are similar to those in other places. Both men and women basically get married by "parents' orders and matchmakers' words". Pay attention to "the door is right, as close as brothers." Marriage forms can be roughly divided into several categories, such as finger-pointing marriage, child marriage, matchmaking marriage, and husband recruitment (commonly known as "inverted door"). The marriage procedure is very complicated, mainly including the following procedures:

When the eight-character young men and women reach marriageable age, their parents will ask the matchmaker to make peace with the right family. The matchmaker sends the woman's "Geng Tie" (that is, the year, month, day and time of birth) to the man's house, which is called "sending eight characters". The man put a woman's memorial tablet under the incense burner of nave's sacred case. After about seven days, if there is no movement, the man's parents will use the woman's Geng to ask the fortune teller for the year, month, day and time when the man was born. Generally, both characters are more than four words.

After the birthday wedding, the matchmaker will send the list of gifts put forward by the woman's parents to the man's parents. If there is no objection, the man can conveniently send all the gifts (such as gifts, jewelry, clothes, wine and meat, cakes, noodles, etc.). ) going to the woman's house according to the requirements of the ceremony list is called "hiring" or "hiring". The woman returned shoes and socks, towels, handkerchiefs and other items and left the banquet enthusiastically. At the dinner table, men and women meet, and the man gives the woman a "meeting gift".

After the agreement, the marriage relationship has been confirmed, and both men and women are not allowed to dissolve it without authorization. Any party who changes it without authorization will be criticized by the public and despised by others. If the man changes, the woman shall not be required to return the dowry; If the woman changes, the bride price must be returned to the man. After employment, the man prepares gifts for his father-in-law three times a year, which is called "sending festivals", and the woman also gives certain gifts in return.

After the marriage relationship is confirmed, it can take as short as one year and as long as three years to get married. Before marriage, the man's parents usually ask the fortune teller to look through the "yellow calendar" and choose the "auspicious day of the zodiac" suitable for marriage, write down "gift stickers" on red paper and send them to the woman's house together with gifts. If the woman's parents have no objection, they will send back an "admission sticker". In this way, the date of marriage has been set, and there are no special circumstances that cannot be changed.

After the wedding date is fixed, the relatives of the woman go to the woman's house to "send a wedding banquet" the day before the wedding. After the bride "opens her face", she eats "wine to be married" with her relatives and friends and then goes to the boudoir to cry, which is called "crying marriage". People who are good at "crying" use singing instead of "crying", which is euphemistic and moving. Its content is nothing more than reluctant to part with parents and not forgetting to raise them. Relatives and friends often go to comfort when they hear the sound of crying, and give them a certain "bride price", also called "tear bag". Those who are good at "crying" and those who have more relatives and friends will gain a lot in one day.

The day before the wedding, relatives and friends of the man went to the man's house to congratulate him. Relatives gave him a generous gift, and neighbors also "chipped in". The groom takes a bath in the morning and dresses up. Make the bed at night. Ask those who live long and well to order bedding and let the boys roll on the new bed. This is called "sitting on the bed". On the morning of the wedding, the matchmaker went to the woman's house in a sedan chair to marry the bride. Before leaving, the man often sticks a pair of couplets on the sedan chair, and the woman's relatives and friends welcome the sedan chair into the ancestral hall at the head of the village, take off the couplets, and quickly ask the local gentleman to make a pair of couplets and stick them back on the sedan chair to show that men and women are suitable for each other. If you can't get the bottom line, you will often be ridiculed as a surname. When parents marry their daughters, they must pay a certain amount of dowry as a dowry. A large piece is "one shoulder", which can be said to be "four shoulders", "eight shoulders", "half set" and "full set". When the bride is about to get married, she is dressed in red and supported by the "bridesmaid" on the sedan chair (also known as "holding the bride"). Most brides deliberately don't wear wedding clothes and sedan chairs, delaying time to show that they are reluctant to part with their parents and forget their home country. Finally, accompanied by the "bridesmaid", take a sedan chair to the man's house.

When the bride's sedan chair entered the village, the bride was welcomed into the ancestral hall by the groom. First, she worships heaven and earth, second, she worships her ancestors, and third, the husband and wife send them to the bridal chamber. The groom takes the towel off the bride's head and drinks a glass of wine together. This is called "marriage". At noon, there was a big banquet, ranging from ten or twenty tables to seventy or eighty tables, to entertain relatives and friends, and everyone was present.

Wedding night, men, women and children gathered in the wedding, or cheering or singing, happy, known as "wedding", there is a saying that "the bride and groom will be big or small in three days." Most bridesmaids are smart middle-aged women. She is the bride's "maid of honor" and the patron saint of the bride. When guests feel embarrassed when they ask the bride to answer questions, sing or light a cigarette, the "bridesmaid" is duty-bound to act as an agent. Therefore, the "bridesmaid" is also the object of banter and ridicule by the guests. The content of applause is mostly to bless the newlyweds, such as the colorful words popular in Yangshan and Xizao during the Republic of China: "My hero, give birth to your son early. Three yuan and four seasons make a fortune. Five sons are admitted to this subject, and six sons are in the same spring. Seven sons are reunited, and eight immortals celebrate their birthdays. Forever, perfect. " Cheerleaders get a "reward" from the "bridesmaid" for every drink, such as red eggs, peanuts, beans and so on. , are deliberately mixed raw and cooked, guests can be born by shouting "alive". It's tiring to stay up late at night in the new house. Bored people actually "sneak" into bed or behind the door before the bride and groom fall asleep. After the bride and groom took off their coats and fell asleep, they were suddenly taken away, in order to coerce the bride and groom to give more "rewards." Not too much for local customs.

Three days after Huimen got married, the bride's brother went to her husband's house to pick up her sister and brother-in-law, and called it Huimen. The bride's family would hold a banquet.

As mentioned earlier, the marriage customs in Fengxin feudal era were prevalent in rich and powerful official families, while poor families and small families were generally simple because of economic conditions. From the late Qing Dynasty to the founding of New China, these old customs were basically inherited, although their contents and forms changed slightly due to the passage of time and the influence of war.

After the founding of New China, with the promulgation of the Marriage Law, the old marriage system was gradually abolished and complicated marriage procedures were gradually simplified. Parents are in a state of semi-decision or undecided about their children's marriage, and men and women are becoming more and more cautious in choosing spouses. When a man and a woman know each other by themselves or are introduced, if they are congenial, they will tell their parents that the woman's parents will invite their family members or major relatives to the man's house to talk about marriage, which is called "house inspection" or "seeing the scene". The man will give each other clothes, shoes, socks and towels, one for each person. When the parents of both parties negotiate, it is convenient for the man to invite the woman to the store to "pull cloth" and send a certain amount of meat, cakes, noodles, gifts and other gifts to her parents. It's called engagement. After knowing each other for a year or two, both men and women will go to the local government to get a marriage certificate, set up a few tables on a certain day, and give candy and cigarettes to relatives and friends, which is considered marriage. These fashions lasted until the late 1970s.

In the early 1980s, in the construction of socialist spiritual civilization, people changed customs and got married. Most young people in cities and towns get married in several forms, such as tourist marriage, group marriage and free wedding, which not only avoids the hard work, but also reduces unnecessary expenses. In recent years, with the development of economy, wedding scenes in towns and rural areas are getting bigger and bigger. When the woman gets married, the man has to do big things such as color TV, refrigerator, motorcycle, VCD and air conditioner. The wedding sedan chair has been abandoned and replaced by the wedding float in the town. There are dozens of tables at every turn, and the atmosphere is grand and warm. On the one hand, it reflects the improvement of people's living standards, on the other hand, it also shows that the wedding has been affected by the bad atmosphere of extravagance, ostentation and extravagance, comparison and so on.