Do you envy people in their thirties who are full of children and grandchildren?

Since ancient times, we all have three pursuits: to be rich or expensive, to live a long life and to have a full house of children and grandchildren.

Generally speaking, people who can do these three things are truly blessed. No matter which of these three points is missing, I believe we will not live happily.

Without money, people can only face the problem of "no dutiful son before going to bed for a long time", even if you have more children and grandchildren, it will not help.

Without a life span, even if people have more money and more children and grandchildren, they will not enjoy family happiness, and they can only face the result that "people are in heaven and money is in the bank".

Without children and grandchildren, I believe that everyone will not live happily. At least, without children and grandchildren, the life of the elderly will only be worse.

For "children and grandchildren", we might as well think about it. Is it better to have more children and grandchildren? On the surface, the more the better. But from a realistic point of view, many things are particularly cruel.

In ancient times, Emperor Yao said that the more men there are, the more afraid they are.

Don't think that the more children, the better. Sometimes, the more children and grandchildren there are, the more complicated the problem is, which is not as simple as you and I thought.

Perhaps, after the age of 60, having children and grandchildren is the beginning of ordinary people's pain.

02

An old man thinks that I and all my children and grandchildren are unhappy.

There is a family in the village, the Zhang family. Zhang is 65 years old. He has four children and six grandchildren.

On the surface, a person can have four children and six grandchildren, which is a symbol of happiness. However, Zhang and his wife don't think so.

Because the children are not active outside the village, they get married and have children in the village, so they often go back to their parents' home for dinner, and the children are taken care of by their parents.

At the beginning of the separation, Zhang thought that it would be good to be happy with his wife now.

However, the eldest son and his wife set a precedent, that is, they often went to uncle Zhang's house for dinner, and even took their two children with them.

After seeing the other two sons, they also took their wives and children to their parents' home for dinner. What about the youngest daughter? I am a little reluctant to come to my parents' house to eat and drink.

Faced with such a situation, the old man didn't know what to do. In Zhang's view, it is unreasonable to drive them away, but letting them come over like this will eventually lead to family conflicts.

Later, many problems also appeared. Because the second son and his wife need to go to work, they hope that Zhang and his wife can take care of their grandson. At this time, other children did the same, making Zhang and his wife become free nannies.

03

With several grandchildren at once, Zhang doesn't know what to do. At the same time, the children come to their home for dinner every day, and even the living expenses are not given, which slowly drains the savings of the two old people.

I remember that eight years ago, Uncle Zhang's eldest son was getting married, so he sponsored his eldest son 200,000. The other sons were not convinced when they saw it. Zhang spent 600,000 yuan on the marriage of his three sons.

Slowly, Zhang also felt that children regarded their parents as ATMs and also regarded their parents as free nannies, which made people very helpless.

Fortunately, we don't have to buy a house, otherwise who can bear such pressure?

At this moment, Zhang remembered his old buddy Liu. Lao Liu's two sons want to buy a car and a house in the city. He sold his house and assets directly, and they just patched together their wishes.

Now Lao Liu's grandson needs to go to bilingual kindergarten, and his son has no money. No way, Lao Liu, as an old man, can only be forced to pay for the bag. One son is fine, and two sons, even three or four sons, will eventually kill ordinary people.

Zhang was deeply moved by the comparison between himself and Lao Li. The so-called full house of children and grandchildren sounds really beautiful. But in fact, it is the beginning of human suffering.

It's okay to spend money for one son, but spending money for many sons and even contributing to many grandchildren is beyond the average person's ability.

04

Sometimes, I really admire Di Yao's foresight. Even thousands of years ago, I put forward the concept that "the more men, the more afraid".

In fact, too much is not a good thing, but just right is the best choice. Blindly asking for more behind will only make your life more and more painful.

Mr. Li, who is in his fifties, is already worried about the future of himself and his two sons. Because Mr. Zhang knows that his son can't afford a house, he needs to help his son buy a car and a house. Moreover, this purchase is double. Such pressure is unimaginable after all.

Someone once said in Zhihu that the older people get, the more they discover their past thoughts and choices, so naive.

Ordinary people can only face these three problems.

In the early years, I was worried about finding a job, buying a house and a car, getting married and having children.

When people reach middle age, they worry about their families, their children's future and unemployment.

In my later years, I was worried about my children's RV, my grandchildren's future and my own pension. At the same time, I have become a free nanny for many children.

In this life, people live not for material things, but for others. It seems that they have never lived for themselves. Maybe this is the life that ordinary people cannot choose. Everything, that's all.

Text/There are deer in Shushan