Kneel for a short joke played by three people, urgent!

Kneel for a short joke played by three people, urgent! Humor sketch script: Pupils sketch, 3 people perform lines.

Li: (looking around) I'm coming in. Is it a home visit or a shopping trip?

Old: Oh, teacher, you are literate. Why are you talking like a book with us? Don't blame me for being uneasy. Your teacher can't beat the business of our internet cafe.

Li: No matter how poor you are, neither can education nor children be poor. Boss, last time I told you to stay away from the Internet cafe, I don't know what happened.

Old: Hey? My Internet cafe is 20 1 m away from the gate of your school-I measured it with a tape measure-without violating the relevant regulations of "No Internet cafes within 200 meters around the school"? The whole baby, ahhh, playing games is the whole baby? Look at me, Huangdi. He is smart, has good academic performance and plays games well. ...

Li: I know. A saying circulated among students, "Time flies, Nandi Beggars in the North" refers to the four major game masters in our city, and "Nandi" is your home in the south of the city-the Yellow Emperor.

Lao: Look, this game is good. You should have keen eyes, sharp fingers and a clever brain. You have learned knowledge and exercised your ability. I know my jokes about the Yellow Emperor like the back of my hand. Haha, my son has a good hand.

Li: Not only celebrities, but also famous sayings. He wants to advertise your Internet cafe, saying: The spider invited the mosquito to play, but the mosquito didn't go at first, and then the spider said: I went online. Then the mosquito left. He said that mosquitoes know how to surf the Internet. Do you think Internet cafes are attractive?

Old: (laughs) Smart ... Ha ha laugh. ...

Li: I know your Yellow Emperor is very clever.

Lao: Of course.

Li: I know that your Huangdi used to get good grades.

Lao: Of course.

Li: I know that your Huangdi is going to skip class and play games now.

Lao: Of course. Hey, hey, what's up? Skipping class and playing games? Is this ... true?

Li: Steamed? Still familiar. He didn't attend class all afternoon, okay?

Old: Not good? Boss, I am still in high spirits when I play games at noon. He has a bad heart! I must have quietly stopped playing games! I only agree that he plays games and dares to go to class without class! I'm not going back to kill him!

Li: You Huangdi asked for half a day off several times. Classmates reported that he just went to play games. Now, his grade is 160-you know, he used to be 10.

Old: (angrily) Lao tze to find him at once! See which Internet cafe owner dares to let me play games in Huangdi, so I won't lift his shop!

Li: So … what about you?

Lao: (embarrassed for a while, walks to the platform and closes the shutter door) Whatever. Let's get him back first.

The child found himself closing the door. He was in a hurry, moved, pedaled his chair and made a noise. )

Li: Which one?

Old: No one has it. This is a mouse. Oh, no, it's a cat

Li: Which one is it? Point it out yourself. otherwise ...

(The child came out trembling and stood with his back to Miss Li. )

Old: Miss Li, this is ...

Li: Which school? Turn around.

(The child turns around trembling and lowers his head)

Li: You! In great anger, he picked up a feather duster from the table and lifted it to hit it. The child covered his head and ran to hide. )

Old: (stop) Hey, hey! Protect the legitimate rights and interests of women and children! Pupils, not from your South Middle School, why do you care so much?

Li: You ... (holding up the feather duster again and slamming it on the table) I'll handle it!

Old: Hey, you have to understand that you are a teacher! As a teacher, you beat the students! I want to complain to you! (Walking out with his legs raised)

Xiao: (suddenly pulls the boss) Uncle, don't! She is my aunt.

Old: (turning around) Your aunt? This ... Miss Li, he ... came in by himself. This is my first time here. It's really the first time. I ... I don't recognize it again ... otherwise ...

Li: (sitting in a chair limply, putting down the feather duster and waving wearily) Stop it. If you don't teach, your father is guilty; What is a teacher? A strict missionary.

Xiao: Aunt. ...

Li: On a small scale, games can only be an after-school entertainment, and you can't neglect your studies! (untie the red scarf on the child's forehead and fasten it) Aunt believes you. Let's go home.

Old: Hey-Miss Li ... Sorry. I keep my promise. Come on, slap me twice.

Li: Why do you say these things? Boss, your yellow emperor-

Old: I must have a good education. If you don't go, I will.

Li: Come on, let's find your Yellow Emperor?

Old: (exultation) So ... How dare you?

Li: Children are more important! Do to others what you don't want them to do to you! Boss, I hope you can grasp the scale between the roles of father and boss, and run your Internet bar legally, rationally and reasonably.

Old: (embarrassed) Yes, yes, yes. ...

Li: You go to the Internet cafe in the north of the city. Let's go to the "self-trapping" Internet cafe in the east of the city. Call back again and let Huangdi and his mother go to the "net net cafe" in the west of the city. Close the door and leave!

Young and old: Let's go together!

Three people took a curtain call.

I urgently need a funny sketch played by three men! Three men, hehe

It is suggested that the landlord choose a short clip from the story of the cookhouse squad and act it out.

Many of them are good

For example, kitten and Pang Ju have a sketch of a big week to bake buns.

Kneeling for the joke of the low-headed family! A: Why do so many people look down at their mobile phones?

B: You are so stupid. If they don't bow their heads, how can they see if there is any money left by others on the ground?

A: ...

Ask for a sketch, performed by 60, 70, 80, 90 and 4 people, urgent! Zhao Benshan's is good, people who have seen it say it's funny, and Huang Juji, Huang Juji, Huang Juji, Huang Juji, Huang Guoji, and so on, which will suit you more or less.

In order to find a really funny joke, a lady asked the man sitting next to her at the reception, "Who is that ugly guy across the street?"

"It's my brother." The man replied.

The woman said, "I'm sorry, you look so alike." Why didn't I see it? "

A student from China went to the United States to learn to drive. One day, the coach sat next to him. He saw an English road sign and asked the coach, Turn left?

The coach said: Yes!

And then ... hang up

Urgent for a short and pithy best joke, within 70 words! Urgent! When the hunter was hunting, he saw two birds in the tree. He raised his gun and shot down a bird. He found it hairless. While he was wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter, damn it, I just coaxed her into getting dressed, and you shot her down. . .

Ask three people to perform cross talk urgently! Jiang Kun, Dai Zhicheng and Zhao Jinsheng's "Who are you talking to?" Lines: Jiang, friends from the audience, crosstalk performers, here to pay a New Year call to everyone.

Jiang, the Year of the Tiger is coming, and I want to announce a good news to you. I don't know if you want to hear it.

All, want

Hello, Dai.

Jiang, no more. As soon as I say this good news, everyone must give me applause and support me.

Hello, Dai.

Ginger; Don't always talk about Jiang Kun Jiang Kun. Can you say something else?

Dai, didn't you say there was good news? I'll listen if you say it.

Jiang, if you want to hear it,

Dai, want to hear it.

Jiang, my good news is the Year of the Tiger. I'm going to change people. I won't cross talk with Dai Zhicheng. I don't know if everyone agrees or not.

Dai, this is really responsive. Jiang Kun, please wait.

Jiang, I've been waiting for twenty years.

Dai, what's wrong?

Ginger, what's wrong? At the beginning, I cooperated with Mr. Li Wenhua and Mr. Tang Jiezhong and talked about many good cross talks. Look, this old artist, everyone says whether this wrinkle on Mr. Li Wenhua's face is cute or not.

A lot. Very cute.

Ginger, look at him. Said he was old, but not old. Say that you are small, not small, and have no characteristics at all. No one can remember him. I expect some wrinkles. For twenty years, his face was as flat as a pancake.

Dai, that's what he does.

Ginger, I am looking forward to him. He is fatter and doesn't eat anything with long meat. He is standing next to me. He won't go there. For twenty years, the fortune teller said that he was in excellent health and died. Aren't you going to kill me?

Dai, did I hire you? Please ask our dear audience to comment. Last year, I collaborated in more than 50 cross talks from "Ginger Ball" to "Treading on Foot", "Looking Back at Nine" and "I'm a little dizzy". What part am I sorry about?

Ginger, which one is beyond taking pictures, which one is beyond the Tiger Cave and which one is memorable, just remember that you are beside Jiang Kun and Jiang Kun. Do you want anything else?

Dai, you are talking nonsense. Can you promise to call you Ma Ji?

Jiang, at least, you call me teacher Jiang or something.

Dai, ok, today, I will call you Mr. Jiang. I don't want to say that you like the new and hate the old. Let's stop here. If you have the right partner, you can change. Who stopped you? Look for it.

Ginger, you still need me to find it. The national audience cares about me and agrees with my substitution.

Dai, who is it?

Ginger, who? Does Mr. Dan Tianfang know?

Dai, the storyteller.

Jiang specially commented on this story in the storytelling.

Dai, Shan Lao storytelling,

Ginger, where's Shan Lao? Speaking of Jiang Kun, what he said was a cross talk with A Dai Zhicheng. It's been 20 years, and Dai Zhicheng and Dai Zhicheng have been with him. Is it a success?

Dai, which book has this word?

Ginger, you are a tiger, but a tiger. As the saying goes, two tigers are not allowed in one mountain, and there is only one possibility that two tigers are compatible.

Dai, what kind?

Jiang, a man and a woman.

Dai, oh, I see. You need a tigress.

You know, Kang?

Dai, that's a sports announcer, nicknamed Han Dazui.

Jiang, they all say he is difficult to talk to.

Dai, yes.

Ginger, someone advised me to change you, and everything is reasonable.

Dai, what do you say?

Jiang, wake me up. This is a very accurate name.

Dai, what do you call it?

Jiang, brother Jiang:

Dai, the first sentence is inaccurate.

Jiang, how old are you now? You are over 60 years old. You must consider what to do with 500.

Dai, this doesn't count.

Jiang, what's your situation now? You are the former chasing unit and the latter intercepting unit. How to face this unmanned scene?

Dai, is there anyone?

Jiang, I advise you to steal jingle bells while you are away, build a plank road, sneak in, hide the three customs, go to bed early and get up early, face each other across the river and resolutely pat his crotch.

Dai, it's really hard for you to be alone.

Jiang, does Professor Yuan Longping know?

Dai, oh, that's an academician, a rice expert.

Jiang, everyone agrees that I will change you.

Dai, Professor Yuan.

Jiang, recommend me a new person.

Dai, um

Professor Jiang told Yuan that I don't know art, but I know that the survival of the fittest, natural selection.

Dai, study this.

Jiang, I recommend one for you. When you were performing at the Spring Festival party, you heard the bell ringing outside. A new person will miraculously appear in front of you. I believe it will bring a surprise to TV viewers and the music industry all over the country.

Dai, the interview is coming today.

Ginger, you still need an interview. It was introduced by a professor. This is high technology. Time is running out. You should quit quickly.

Dai, * * * *

Jiang, don't face others.

Dai, Mr. Jiang, don't think about my emotions. Well, I will meet this new person, and I will meet someone with high technology.

Ginger, you don't have to do this. You go first. It is ringing. You go ahead. I'll find someone.

Jiang, alas, you, you, you were introduced by Professor Yuan?

Zhao, um

Jiang, Dai, don't go yet We'll discuss it later.

Dai, I didn't leave at all. What's the matter, Mr. Jiang?

Jiang, don't call it teacher Jiang, just call it. Very kind.

Dai, oh

Jiang, is he in the wrong place?

Dai, no, the new guy.

Ginger, the new guy? I looked at him a little scared.

Dai, are you so timid?

Jiang, what does he do?

Dai, I thought Professor Yuan introduced this to you.

Jiang, how do you know?

Dai, it's almost time for dinner. Are parallel.

Ginger, what do you think of others? As soon as we met, we said it was parallel imports, you. . . He is really like a parallel product. Why does he look like this?

Dai, what's wrong with being so long? You are behind the times. Now h 1n 1 virus can mutate, and it is not surprising that people are so long. This shows that the species of animals in the world are decreasing, while the species of people are increasing. Your friend is the best proof, right?

Zhao, hey hey

Ginger, oh, why is he still happy? He is heartless. Let him speak now.

Dai, don't say it below, just say it on stage. This friend, can you introduce us all? How can you, such an artistic style?

Zhao, look me in the eye. Do they look like Sun Honglei? Does my mouth look like Sebrina?

Dai Jiang, who are you?

Zhao, I'm Ping Cui and his son.

Dai Jiang, ouch!

Dai, don't tell me, just now your little eyes really look like your father.

Jiang, your father is still lurking there. How did you get exposed so quickly?

Dai, what is exposure? Professor Yuan didn't introduce you.

Jiang, a professor who studies rice, said that cross talk should be like us. Look at his quality.

Do you understand, Dai He said your color is not good. Can you agree with him?

Zhao, I will answer you with a sentence from my father's colleague.

Jiang, your father's colleague?

Zhao, these are two gold bars. Can you tell me which is noble and which is obscene?

Ginger, oh, what's your name again? This man

put on

Jiang, etc

Dai, that's right, the one who sells information.

Ginger, right, right, right.

Dai, but this friend, if you come, I have to leave.

Zhao, I will answer you with a sentence from my father's colleague. There is a victory called retreat. There is a kind of failure called occupation.

Dai, can you take my place?

Zhao, I will answer you with a sentence from my father's colleague. If you can't kill me with one shot, I will come back to life. We are still doing business, as long as the price is reasonable.

Jiang, I can't cooperate with him. I'm too old to recite the lines of TV series. You said that cooperation must be between us. Think about it. We talked about more than 50 cross talks.

Dai, which part is more than your photo? Which part is beyond the tiger hole,

Jiang, you can't say that. Now it's realistic, which paragraph is more than Tang poetry and which paragraph is more than Song poetry? The standard of every era, the new era, why is he so old? He is a man.

Zhao, I use a sentence from my father's colleague.

Jiang, where are so many colleagues of your father?

Dai, you said he was too old. I think he still has many characteristics. By the way, what's your name?

Zhao and Yu were awarded

Dai Jiang, disaster.

Dai, who are you going to scold?

Zhao's harvest is a harvest.

Dai, his surname, what he gets is what he gets.

Ginger, leftovers, those leftovers? Or parallel imports or something

Dai, you don't understand this. This is a particularly popular language style this year. Whatever you say, my friend. It seems that you must have a lot of feelings about life.

Zhao, I once loved,

Dai, what do you think? Tell me about your love.

Zhao, when I fall in love with someone, they get married; When I want to get married, people pursue being single; I dare not go when all the fools in the stock market make money. When I got up the courage to go in, I immediately became a fool.

Dai, hi, I missed it all.

Zhao, the sea is vast, and the drums are broken. They all say I'm an angel.

Angel Dai

Ginger, it fell from the sky.

Dai, right

Ginger, does it look like this?

Dai, don't always watch. Angels are different from angels.

Ginger, what's wrong?

Dai, the other angels come with their feet first.

Jiang, what about him?

Dai, face first.

Zhao, is this different?

Ginger, then you have to cooperate with me. What skills do you have?

Zhao, I have talent. My gift is like being pregnant.

Dai Jiang, pregnant?

Zhao, the longer time goes by, the more I feel something in my stomach.

Jiang, what metaphor is this? We have worked together for twenty years.

Zhao, I advise you never to hang yourself from a tree.

Jiang, I am willing to listen to this sentence.

Zhao, try a few more times in the tree next to you …

Ginger, will it hurt you?

Dai, that's a good idea.

Ginger, what's delicious? Do you think we can work well together?

Zhao, perfect match, you are classic, I am fashionable; You are the Internet, I am the firewall, you like sheep, and I am the wolf. If you have no land to live in a humble abode, I will give you a set of affordable housing, you will go to Somalia, I will be escorted by the China Navy, you will pay attention to Copenhagen, and I will take the lead in reducing exhaust emissions.

Ginger, oh, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush.

Zhao, can I give some advice to the TV station?

Dai, of course. What advice do you give to the TV station?

Zhao, strongly protested that the TV series was interrupted during the commercial time.

Dai is still very enthusiastic about this idea.

Ginger, what is sharp? Say something serious.

Zhao, seriously, I'm afraid I won't give you such a long time.

Dai, give it, but what are you talking about today?

Zhao, speaking of cross talk, two people working together is like living. I hate the new and the old, but I don't agree to be faithful; If something goes wrong, don't be busy. You must look for reasons from others. Don't panic if you can't get on. Maybe heaven is below, times are developing and people are changing their ideas. But the constant is tradition, and the constant is fashion. The beauty of 2009 is because ordinary people know who has the neatest military parade, the most modern weapons and the forefront of the times, and which country has the fastest railway speed-up frequency and who has the confidence.

Jiang Daizhao, China

Ginger, that's the point

Zhao, in a word, ordinary people are most willing to live in a down-to-earth manner. China people don't bother, and our Chinese nation swaggered into 20 10.

Dai Jiang, okay.

Dai, fishing fire, you are right.

Jiang, Dai, I have a new idea. I won't change people. I'll use you two. I'll tell you with an old cross talk that you have a foundation. I told him that he was sharp-edged.

Dai, I know what you mean. You said I had an old background.

Ginger, yes.

Dai said he has the characteristics of the times.

Ginger, not bad

Dai, how good our cooperation is. Why do you have to do it and rehearse immediately?

Zhao, good

Dai, everyone will watch our cooperative performance at the Spring Festival Gala next year.

Goodbye, Dai Zhao, Miss Jiang.

Jiang, it's my turn

Just kidding, come on! A fisherman went fishing and finally caught one after a long time. The fisherman wanted to roast fish, so the fish begged him to let it go. The fisherman said, I have a few questions for you. If I get it right, I will let you go. The fish said, "Take the exam!" "Then the fisherman roasted the fish. ....