What three points are often related to the disagreement between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Is it difficult to solve?

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an old topic since ancient times. Many contradictions in a family are caused by the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very important to the harmony of a family.

I have a cheerful and strong friend. Her husband is honest and loyal to her, but she met a very strong mother-in-law.

After marriage, due to lack of economic strength, I had to live with my in-laws. But my mother-in-law always finds fault with her nose and her friends don't give in, so there are often some quarrels.

Especially after giving birth to a baby, the mother-in-law seems to only regard the baby as a member of their family, and her words and deeds exclude her friends. In addition, there is the problem of raising children. The two have different views, and the contradiction is getting worse.

Once a friend had an argument with her mother-in-law because of her child's feeding. My friend said a lot of ugly things, and my angry mother-in-law slapped her friend when she came up. Friends do not show weakness. After putting the child away, I wrestled with my mother-in-law.

Later, because of this incident, I called the police. The mother-in-law refused to accept mediation and cried bitterly, demanding that her son must divorce his friend, or he would die to show him.

Although my friend's husband is a dutiful son, he didn't listen to his mother's request this time. Instead, I took my friends and children and moved outside to rent a house.

Since then, friends and mother-in-law rarely come and go, and children are brought by friends alone, and life is very hard. Although her husband chose to stand on her side at first, the family did not get along well, and it was inevitable that there would be some complaints in his heart, and the relationship between husband and wife slowly began to fade.

This shows how important the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is in a family. It will not only destroy the harmony of the family, affect the feelings of husband and wife, but even have a certain impact on the growth of children.

Therefore, women must fix the course of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and manage it well.

In order to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must first understand what contradictions will occur between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Bian Xiao summed up the following three points and cracked them one by one.

Number one: Pay attention to the same man.

Speaking of the same man, I believe everyone already knows that this man must be your husband. From the moment you get married, in your mother-in-law's heart, your husband and her son are no longer her own.

It is said that her son was her mother's "lover" in her previous life. It turns out that her son revolves around her every day, but now he revolves around you every day. You can imagine how frustrated the mother-in-law should be. Maybe she has regarded you as a "rival in love" in her heart.

This is because some mother-in-law cognitive bias, she did not do a good job of separation from her son. When you meet such a mother-in-law, you should pay attention.

Solution:

1, try not to be too close to your husband in front of your mother-in-law, so as not to cause her mother-in-law to "eat wax" and feel sad.

Don't say that your husband is not good in front of your mother-in-law. You know, her husband is her sweetheart. If you criticize him, my mother-in-law will definitely have the psychology of justifying a fault and point the finger at you immediately.

Take care of your husband's diet and daily life, and let your mother-in-law see that you can take care of her son like her. In this way, the mother-in-law will gradually accept you and understand that your arrival is shared for her and can make her son better.

The second point is the differences that arise when raising the next generation.

There is a folk saying called the pain of the next generation. In other words, grandparents sometimes love their grandchildren more than their sons. This is because when her husband was very young, her in-laws were still young, and she was busy making a living, so she really didn't know and had no time to take care of the children.

Now that I am retired at home and have nothing to do, when I face my grandson, the pain is called "I am afraid of losing it in my hand, but I am afraid of it in my mouth."

Therefore, when you give birth to a child, you will find your mother-in-law hovering in front of you and the child all day, as if she was afraid that your biological mother would not take care of her grandson or "abuse" the child.

She always pays attention to the children's food and clothing in the way of the older generation. At this time, you will have great differences on the upbringing of your children, thus forming contradictions.

Solution:

1. Attend lectures on newborns with my mother-in-law, read books on parenting and learn scientific parenting knowledge together.

2. When there are differences, don't rush to deny them, respect the mother-in-law's ideas and communicate patiently with her mother-in-law through the actual situation.

I sincerely thank my mother-in-law for her help. You know she cares so much, but she's not hurting your children? Only by maintaining friendly relations with mother-in-law can we achieve win-win cooperation in raising children.

The third point: control over the family.

In a family, the housekeeper is usually a woman. Originally, my mother-in-law had the final say in this family. But when you get married, there is another woman in the family. If both women want to control the family, then the problem arises.

Some people may ask: Is this big family headed by a mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law? This is an eternal question. However, a smart daughter-in-law won't ask such a low-level question, she will do this:

1, conditional, separated from her mother-in-law after marriage, knowing that "distance can produce beauty", so is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Daughter-in-law should put herself in a good position and live a good family. You can make reasonable suggestions on big family affairs, and never obstruct your mother-in-law's decision.

3. A clever daughter-in-law will not only interfere with her mother-in-law's decision, but also stand on her side and make suggestions for her mother-in-law, thus winning her trust and helping to strengthen the feelings between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law.

Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an old topic, it is often caused by some trivial things. However, as long as the daughter-in-law is smart enough to reasonably resolve and distinguish the boundaries, we can respect and trust each other and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be harmonious.

Of course, husbands also play a very important role in this process. He can neither fall on both sides, nor take sides, let alone ignore it. He should learn to control the intermediate degree and grasp it well.

When necessary, we can also use some white lies to better adjust the subtle relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so as not to make mother sad or daughter-in-law chilling.

In a word, in a harmonious family, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be calm, respect each other and think from each other's perspective. With clear boundaries, contradictions will be reduced a lot, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can sometimes get along like mother and daughter.