Funny and humorous copy

Just now, my son was taking a bath. My son asked me to pass him a towel. I don't want to move So I called my daughter-in-law and no one answered for a long time. Suddenly my son came over and said, "Your daughter-in-law is taking a bath with me."

There is a beautiful female guest at home. The mother said to the child: Come on, baby, let the aunt kiss you! The child said, I didn't kiss her. Dad kissed her several times in the corridor just now!

I met my father's first love, and my mother was jealous and said to me: At that time, your father almost married that aunt. I am curious to ask: Why doesn't Dad get married? My mother said: I went to buy someone else's ring and found that my fingers were too thick and expensive, so I married me with thin fingers. Me: ...

I met a fortune teller downstairs. He stared at me for a long time and sighed, "Young man, your Tang Yin is black!" " I quickly gave him ten dollars to crack it. After carefully checking the authenticity of the money, he said slowly, "Don't be afraid, just go home and wash your face!" " "

5. Me: "Husband, when we have money, you propose to me. Can we get married again? " Husband: "Yes! But I also have a request. " Me: "Go ahead!" Husband: "Just don't say yes when I propose."

6. When going to the toilet, a student ran over and said, "Teacher, I have no paper. Can I have some paper? " Based on the teacher's moral quality, I gave her my paper and asked her to go to the office to get it for me. She has been in class for a long time now and hasn't come yet.

7. Accompany a friend to the driving school and see an old coach bullying the new female student. With 10 dollars in his hand, he said, "Come on, the grocery store at the door will buy me a bag of Chinese, not toothpaste! . The new female student was shocked and dumbfounded. I ran over with a smile: "Coach, she is new here and doesn't understand. Let me buy it for you. " So he went home with 10 yuan.

8. Ask your wife, "If you had Aladdin's magic lamp, what would you wish for?" The wife said, "I will say,' Everyone prettier than me is dead!'" ""I said helplessly, "In an instant, you are the only woman left in the world!"

My husband has been asking the boss for debts for almost half a year, but there is still no result. My wife decided to do it herself. A month later, the wife happily said to her husband, "I'm not afraid of his breach of contract this time." I kidnapped his child! " "The husband asked," where are you? The wife patted her belly: "I locked him here!" " "

10. The first time I met a female netizen, I deliberately gave her wine while eating. I booked a room immediately when she was unconscious. After making sure that she was asleep, I laughed and fled back to my hometown by train overnight. P-graph technology is so developed now?

165438+ I was happy at that time and asked her: Which teacher taught you your multiplication formula? Don't fool others!

12. I just left the community gate this morning. A five-or six-year-old girl hugged my thigh and cried, Uncle, marry me! I was in a mess when I suddenly heard a voice behind me saying, even if you get married, you have to go to school today!

13. After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said, "What a pity for the girl. You can be her grandfather. " The old man was very dissatisfied: "I am more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I have to pretend to be a grandson! " "

Fourteen. The money left on the table last night is missing. I asked my daughter, "Have you seen it?" She raised her little face and said, "Is it 100?" I nodded, and then she said solemnly, "I think the money is from 2008." Throw it away when it expires. "

15. Today, a female colleague from the company brought her four-or five-year-old son to the company. Everyone asked him: Is his father better or his mother better? The children whispered: Hello, Dad! Everyone continued to tease him and asked why. The child looked at his mother and shouted because he married a good wife and gave birth to a good son.

Sixteen years old. A man who has been single for many years once went on a blind date. M: Shall I invite you to the movies? W: I won't allow a strange man to invite me to the movies. Too bad for a woman. M: Then please invite me. I'm not afraid of losing.

17. Xiao Zhang has just been promoted to vice president of the hotel. He was so excited that he went home in the dark at night and shouted excitedly when he entered the room: "I am the vice president!" " "At this moment, the wife unconsciously said in bed," Go to sleep, and your subordinate Xiao Zhang will be back soon. "

Eighteen. Man: "Marry me!" Woman: "See that woman with heavy makeup across the street?" ! Go over there and give her two big slaps! I'll accompany you to get the certificate right away! "Without further ado, the man gave him a box on the ear. Without saying anything, the woman received the certificate directly from the man. Man: "since we are husband and wife, can you tell me why you slapped her?" Female: "Smelly shameless! How much business do you steal from me every night! "

19. I have been to the railway station once. I lost my mobile phone, and my witty daughter-in-law immediately sent me a short message with her mobile phone, saying, "Husband, what took you so long to go to the toilet?" Why don't you answer the phone? " It is time. I'm leaving now. The 20,000 yuan I saved for my mother is in the station storage room, box 186, and the password is 168.

5. See you at home! "So, half an hour later, we caught the thief in the cloakroom with the security guard!

20. My wife is special. She was bitten by a dog at home yesterday, and the goods were not angry. He also bathed the dog and dried it with a hair dryer. I wonder if she wants to repay good for evil. But the climax came, and she bit the dog beautifully. The dog whined and ran away.

2 1. When you find your husband looking for a mistress outside, don't make trouble with him in tears. You should first reflect on yourself, dress yourself up, and then put on the best clothes he says you wear, and you will find that you are too fat to wear. At this time, you can cry again.

22. I saw a car accident on the road today, and all my family members died. There is only one child left, and the child is crying. I just called the police, and the crew next to me beat me up because I was too much.

23. Just got a call: I have your wife! Give me 10 thousand yuan quickly, or I'll kill the ticket. After listening to him, my tears flowed silently: stop tearing up the ticket, you bring her to me and I'll give you 20 thousand. Is it easy for me to be a bachelor for so many years?

24. A man is chatting with his wife's best friend. His wife's best friend suddenly said, "My husband is not at home tonight, and the light at home is broken. Can you help me? " At this time, the man's wife just called and said, "I won't come back after working overtime at night!" " "The man rushed to his wife's best friend's house and found her waiting with a rolling pin.