Sketch of "The Big Boatman VS Dream Trio"

A: Hello, audience friends.

Hello, friends.

Do you know that the 2004 Olympic Games will be held in Greece?

B: Yes, it's a world-class competition.

A: Yes, my biggest hobby is sports, so although most of the Olympic Games are broadcast live in the middle of the night, I always insist on watching them.

Oh, you like sports.

A: Yes, a hobby is a hobby, but I just can't get out of bed the next day.

B: I can't help it Time difference.

A: So, in order to let everyone see that the current sports competition is as wonderful as the Olympic Games, I decided not to talk about cross talk today.

Oh, what do you mean?

My brother and I are here to hold a sports competition for you. Do you like it?

B: Oh, it's good, but there are many sports.

A: You can choose the project you like. I am a generalist.

B: Your plenary meeting?

You know everything. You can play football or basketball. You choose. Football, basketball, badminton, volleyball, tennis, table tennis, track and field, gymnastics, swimming, skating, long-distance running, sprint, 200m, 400m, 800m, Maradi.

B: Malady?

A: It's just that many people ran together, and finally the horses lost weight ~ ~

B: It's called a marathon.

A: Oh, this year is called marathon.

B: Why is it called a marathon? This is called a marathon.

This is an exotic product. I'm not sure. Anyway, you choose.

You mean let me choose?

Yes, you can take whatever you want.

Do you think this is ok?

A: What kind?

Today, we hold a football match here.

Oh, playing football? Playing football is quite good. China's women's football team is world-class and men's football team has kicked out of Asia and gone global. This is the pride of all China people, and I am also good at playing football.

Can you kick?

A: What do you mean by far-hanging, far-hanging, flanking, heading, swinging, dribbling, corner kick, free kick, set kick, 12 yard penalty kick, long shot, close shot, cold shot, make-up shot, volley? I have played for more than 20 years, and I have one of the biggest characteristics.

B: What are the characteristics?

I missed a ball.

You are so stupid.

A: I didn't kick it. That's our courtesy. We humiliated him. Last time there was a game, I didn't let him play. They kicked a corner kick, so I rushed forward and let my head in.

I did go in.

A: I was posing for victory when our team member came over and gave me a big mouth.

Why did he hit you?

A: I'm stuck in front of my house.

B: Oolong? !

A: It's not that I won't play football with you. Your machine is too small to kick, and you can't even punish a penalty. We must adapt to local conditions.

Why don't we play chess?

A: The chess pieces are so small that the audience will hate them if they don't see them for a while.

B: Oh, the chess pieces are very small.

Answer: Let's compare it with the lively one.

B: Oh, it must be lively, so what do you mean by lively competition?

A: I'll choose an item. Lively and beautiful. Everyone will be happy. Do you know what the people need now?

B: What can I do for you?

A: We need happiness. We need happiness. Let everyone be happy, and our game will be lively and beautiful.

Ah, tell me.

A: As soon as the game is over, everyone will welcome it. This is called a bragging contest. How's it going?

B: Oh, you mean that we are bragging about the game here, that is, bragging.

A: Yes, talk big.

B: Then I have to ask, why should we brag in the game?

A: If a country wants to be strong, it needs some doers and hardworking people. Our achievements, bit by bit, are not boasted, but all worked hard. Therefore, we should learn from the doers and oppose those boasters who stand aside and talk big. The braggart misunderstood the country and the people. It's ridiculous and funny. Come back and forth today to brag.

B: OK.

A: Let's talk about it. You, me and two big talkers.

B: How about that?

A: Enter the venue.

Oh, and the entrance ceremony.

A: Get ready! One, two, one I learn from you.

I learn from you.

I will learn from your boasting.

I will learn from your boasting. What's this called?

Dear audience, the 2004 Olympic Games attracted worldwide attention.

B: Wow, it's bragging and the Olympics.

A: From now on, if any audience friends are interested in bragging, they can also go on stage. Let's discuss it.

B: Don't mobilize the masses ~ ~

A: ok, first of all, the first seed comes on.

B: Who is it?

A: The national bragging record holder.

B: Who is it?

Mr. B.

Oh, I-

A: Start bragging and give a warm welcome.

B: I'll play first.

A: Don't live up to everyone's hopes for you. Our audience is too enthusiastic. Now please.

B: How about that?

A: Blow it.

Are you blowing? Ok ~ audience friends

A: Blow hard.

B: I'm going to brag now.

A: I wish you success Blow it out of Asia. Work hard.

B: I haven't really screwed up yet.

A: Just blow for a while.

B: ok, today is it. I'll blow when I come.

A: Yes.

B: Ladies and gentlemen, I can't compete with others. If you want to brag, there are so many spectators sitting here, including you, no one can compare with me.

A: What's the matter?

B: Because I have praised it for more than ten years.

A: Much worse. I boasted for more than forty years.

B: How old are you?

A: Blow.

I'm telling you, I'm better than you

I am better than you.

My cross talk is better than yours.

My cross talk is better than yours.

B: My cross talk can amuse the audience.

A: My cross talk can make everyone cry.

I can make the audience laugh their heads off.

A: I can describe you as vomiting and diarrhea.

B: Huh? You spread cholera here?

I am better than you.

B: My cross talk is more useful than yours.

A: My crosstalk contribution is greater than yours.

Do you know how useful my cross talk is?

How useful is your cross talk?

B: I tell you, there is a grand ballroom in Dongjiekou Scenic Resort Scenic Area.

Oh, a big ballroom.

A fire broke out the other day.

What should we do?

B: Just this big fire. It burned for three days and nights, and all the city's fire brigades went. He's hopeless.

So there's nothing we can do?

Finally, I was picked up by a car.

What are you doing here?

B: After I arrived, I said such a cross talk at the fire, very loudly. Please watch the fire again.

Let me see this flame.

B: Liu Zhi.

See Xiao.

B: Liu Zhi.

A: Come on.

B: Beep!

A: What's the matter?

B: He's out, hahahaha. Blowing and crosstalk can put out the fire.

A: Don't be happy. You can put out the fire, and you can't compare with me.

What about you?

A: There is a dairy factory in Quanzhou, and the cows are too agitated to milk. Alas, the factory director was worried, which reduced production. What about profits? How to explain to the leader? Get a helicopter, go to Haidu Odyssey Performance Troupe and pick up crosstalk performers.

B: Pick you up for what?

A: After I arrived at the dairy factory, I kept ringing, ringing, and casually said a short cross talk. Alas, those cows were moved and cried ~ ~ ~ and milk came out of their eyes ~ ~ ~ Wow ~ ~ ~ It's amazing.

B: What's the matter?

A: There is too much milk flowing, and flood control begins.

B: Wow, is milk flood-proof?

A: People bathe with milk ~ ~ ~

I'm telling you, I'm more useful than you

A: I am still much better than you.

There is an apple orchard in Xiamen.

Oh, an apple orchard.

The apples in this apple orchard will not grow again.

What should we do?

I was invited again.

I went to pick you up.

I stood under the apple tree and stared at the apple. I had a loud voice and said such a cross talk. Look at the head of the apple again.

Let me see how big this apple is.

B: Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, they all grew into big watermelons. Blow ~

Gee, you can really blow.

B: How about this one?

A: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to blow hard. Let's talk about Fuzhou. In Cangshan area, there is a duck factory. The ducks there haven't laid eggs for more than two years. The director is worried that ducks will not lay eggs. What can we do? Drive the crown car to get the armor.

B: Pick you up again?

A: After I arrived at the duck farm, I told a traditional cross talk.

Which paragraph?

A: I said the name of a newspaper.

My paragraph is difficult.

A: When I say cross talk, I mean steamed mutton, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roast duck, roast chicken, roasted goose, braised pig, red-cooked chicken, bacon, pine flower, small belly, dried meat, sausage, assorted soup plates, smoked chicken, white belly, steamed eight-treasure pig and stuffed duck rice. It's not enough for people to come all the way to tell us cross talk. If you don't lay eggs, you will not only lay eggs this time, but also create a miracle to repay the benefits of others. After thinking about it, the ducks will lie on the ground and listen to boo cheep.

B: How about that?

Two camels came down.

B: Huh? Will ducks come down from camels?

A: Super bragging.

B: Then you are still not as good as me.

You are still far from it.

B: My cross talk can cure diseases.

A: My crosstalk can be treated.

B: My cross talk cures colds.

A: My cross talk cures colds.

My cross talk can cure headaches.

A: My crosstalk therapy.

B: Why?

A: Treat beriberi.

B: My cross talk can cure a serious illness.

A: What serious illness?

B: Last time, an old lady was paralyzed in bed for more than 80 years.

Eight to eighty years? This is too close.

B: both Chinese and western medicines were invited, but they were not cured.

Isn't that dangerous?

B: Finally, I was invited again.

I went to pick you up.

B: I bowed to the old lady after entering the door.

A: Oh, you're welcome.

B: Then I said such a short cross talk in the old lady's beeping, and the old lady shook her crutch after listening to the cross talk.

A: How about that?

In 2004, I went to Greece to participate in the Olympic Games. Blow it, I don't believe it.

A: Oh, it's amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, I must play hard. Last Friday, I went to Babaoshan in Beijing. I went to the crematorium to say cross talk. Just talked for three minutes and then something happened ~ ~

B: What's the matter?

A: Even the living and the dead jumped up and went home together. Go, go, wife, let's go home for dinner.

B: Oh, everyone, he blew the dead alive.

A: Let's just say that our cross talk is more powerful than pills.

B: Then I'm better than you.

I'm still better than you.

Have you seen me?

How are you?

I am a mature young man.

A: No. I'm too mature.

B: I went to college at 1 1.

A: You are far from it. /kloc-became a professor at the age of 0/0.

I became a scientist when I was nine years old.

A: I made nuclear weapons when I was eight years old.

I got married when I was seven.

A: I am 6 years old and my son 13.

B: My six-year-old son. 13?

A: Just blow. Bragging is not taxed.

B: I'm telling you, I've had senile plaques since I was five years old.

A: I have had a tattoo on my forehead since I was 4 years old.

B: I've been hunched since I was three years old.

I lost a tooth when I was two years old.

My hair turned white when I was one year old.

Oh, no, he is one year old.

B: You are old.

A: I am better than you without age.

B: What's the matter?

A: I retired before I was born.

This is outrageous.

A: That's more like it.

B: Retire before you are born?

Finish the task ahead of schedule.

You are still not as good as me.

I'm still better than you.

Do you see it? I am taller than you.

I have a hunchback. Actually, I am taller than you.

I am very tall.

I am very tall.

B: I'm 2.69 meters tall.

A: I'm 3.78 meters tall.

I grow a foot every day.

I grew ten feet overnight.

I am as tall as the science building of Duff University.

The science building is half a head shorter than me.

B: The plane flew over my waist.

A: The satellite passed under my feet.

I am very tall.

I am very tall.

B: Head in the sky, feet on the ground.

A: Oh, isn't this the end?

B: I can't be any taller.

A: That's still my height.

B: What's the matter?

Answer: The upper lip touches the sky and the lower lip touches the ground.

B: the upper lip touches the sky and the lower lip touches the ground?

Have you ever seen such a tall man?

Where's your face?

A: We are shameless braggadocio.