Maybe it's a real parting, and then there will be a classic diary with stronger feelings than when we were apart.

I don't understand you. How disappointed and sad you should be after I failed in the college entrance examination. Although you don't know anything about the college entrance examination, I saw that your mood changed a little when you learned the result. How disappointed and sad you are. ...

I don't understand you. How reluctant and worried you should be when I am about to leave my hometown. I asked for half a day off to see me off at the station. When you turned away, I saw your haggard back. How reluctant and worried you are. ...

I don't understand you, how lonely and missing you should be when I leave you. Familiar and unfamiliar words on the phone, I heard the helplessness of your life alone, how lonely and missing you are. ...

I don't understand you. How anxious and happy you should be when I am on my way home after a long separation. You can't meet me at the station. You can call the company or your home. How anxious and happy you are. ...

I don't understand you. How much you should cherish and be satisfied when I come back to you again. You don't know what to ask me and talk about, just sitting together for a short time, how much you cherish and how satisfied you are. ...

How to go back to memory, in order to stop gracefully in that mottled memory, like a clean white paper, crumpled and deformed.

Unexpectedly failed in the college entrance examination. In the face of the results of years of hard study at the cold window, I also question myself. What is all this about? From the moment my mother asked me how I felt after the college entrance examination, I had let him down. I told her to worry her a hundred times. I have no problem in the college entrance examination. I can go to the undergraduate course as long as I take the exam. When I got the exam results, I was really embarrassed to tell my mother those sporadic scores, but I couldn't avoid telling my mother later. She once seriously discussed the re-reading with me, and was willing to give me an expensive re-reading fee that I didn't know how long it would take, but I resolutely refused her. I didn't want to waste her hard-earned hard-earned money or her youth. I also told her that I didn't want to go to college. I have my own ideas and ideals, but she takes all my words as jokes.

I never believe what fortune tellers say, and I suspect that they make up things that haven't happened yet, which is unrealistic and deceptive. In senior three, I have been busy preparing for the exam and trying to fulfill my promise to my mother. My mother is a typical rural woman. She knows nothing about too many things and things now. Of course, she knows nothing about my college entrance examination, and she can't help me or tell me anything. Senior three, at home on weekends, rarely talk to my mother about school, study and life. For my college entrance examination, my mother may have done the only related thing, that is, she went to a fortune teller and made a divination without telling me. In my opinion, this meaningless thing makes me feel a little bitter. At a meal, my mother told me everything she heard from the fortune teller, saying that I could only go to a very ordinary university in the east, and so on. I don't know how serious my mother is about the words of the fortune teller, nor how satisfied she is with the words of the last fortune teller. "A very ordinary university in the east", I think this sentence is the conclusion drawn by the fortune teller. When all this came to an end, when I finally came to Weihai to attend junior college, I didn't know whether the fortune teller's prediction of all this was correct. Moreover, I think the ordinary universities mentioned by fortune tellers should not include colleges like ours, so even if what fortune tellers say is useless to me, it is also a lie.

Yes, I am extremely reluctant to study in Weihai, not because I don't like this beautiful city, nor because I don't like my present school and major, but at that time, it was a reluctant thing to leave Qingdao and my mother's side.

Yes, I don't want to leave my mother. I don't want to leave my mother's side in my twenties, not because I rely on my mother and children, nor because I dare to go out to live alone, but because when I really choose to leave my mother and stay away from her for a long time, I can't bear to let her live alone with all my thoughts and concerns.

Therefore, I really can't bear to leave my mother's side, let her feel lonely and miss alone, and let her face the emptiness in her heart alone. I think I should understand, I think I must understand.

When my score was not enough to stand in my hometown, fate decided to arrange all this for me in the direction of the fortune teller ... Maybe my mother believed all the lies told by the fortune teller at that time.

I still remember all the scenes at the railway station when my mother took me to school. I don't think I will forget it, ever.

Like Zhu Ziqing's back.

It was the first time I took a train, the first time I left Qingdao, and the first time I left my mother for such a long time. My mother decided to ask for leave from home and send me to the railway station from home. I deeply understand my mother's feelings. I was sent to the station not because I was afraid of what would happen on this familiar road, but because she didn't want to see me when I came home from work right away. When I really left, there was an empty house behind her, and no one would talk to her again. What a lonely feeling it would be, so she wanted to send me away bit by bit and stay with me bit by bit.

On that afternoon near dusk, the waiting room was crowded with people, and the bustling voices filled the whole hall, and the laughter was somewhat false. When we are about to catch up with the train, everyone's heart will be full of sadness and empty concern. My mother sat down in an empty place. This is the first time she has been to such a place. I stood beside my mother with a heavy suitcase in my hand. My mother and I didn't say anything before we left, waiting for the train to arrive silently. I have been looking at the clock in the hall and my mother's face, and my smiling face can't hide her frustration.

Finally, I waited until I checked in, which was the moment that made me want to cry the most during the whole parting process. My mother and I lined up in a long line. I'm in the front and my mother is in the back. When I show my ticket and pass the ticket barrier, my mother wants to go in with me.

My mother was stopped. Please show me your ticket.

Mother was a little worried and said, "I'm with him." I will send him to school. "

"You can't go in without a ticket."

I have the same idea as my mother. I think I can go to the platform with me. She put me on the bus and left. It was my first time to take a train and I didn't know the whole process. I just watched too many parting scenes at the train station on TV. I thought it would be the same.

In this way, my mother was stopped outside and couldn't see me get on the bus.

I stood by the ticket gate and said "go home" to my mother through the high fence. After looking at each other for just a few seconds, my mother turned to leave.

I've been standing there looking at my mother. She turned her back on me and walked a little differently from usual. Rows of waiting seats with metallic luster, as well as the shiny ground polished by the cleaning aunt, set off the sunshine through the window after dusk. My mother's figure looks so thin. I don't know how sad it would be if she didn't look back at me when she left. I just feel from the bottom of my heart that the picture of that scene has a feeling of suffocating me, vividly, piece by piece.

Maybe it's a real parting, so there will be stronger feelings than when you leave.

I still often fantasize about what happened after I left that day. ...

Dreaming about what happened immediately after my mother left my sight at the train station that day, I wonder if she left my footsteps slowly after leaving my sight, and stopped to look back at me. ...

I fantasized about the picture of her leaving the train station that day and sitting alone on the bus home. Did she sit in the seat by the window, did she silently look at the scenery that flashed by the window, and did her eyes get wet because her heart was getting farther and farther away? ...

I imagined how she felt when she came home that day, how she opened the door, how she pushed the door in, and how she faced an empty room with only one person. On the first night without me, did she cook fresh meals and heat new steamed bread as I did when I was there? ...

I fantasized about her sleeping that night. Does she go to bed earlier than usual? Is she a little later than usual? Did she give up making breakfast because I was away and go to work with a different mood? ...

I'm afraid to see her smile when she leaves again, afraid to see her long figure pulled by the sunset, afraid to see her reluctant melancholy, afraid to see her leave without looking back.

Perhaps, the price of growth is constant parting.

I hope that after leaving, we know how to cherish what we have now, cherish such scenes, cherish such experiences, cherish the person who left, and cherish those who left with youth, tears and heartbreak. In the days to come, these past memories, whether sad or painful, are all evidence of existence.

I hope that every time I think of my parting experience, I can laugh, hide my tears in my heart and warm my heart.

May you no longer be afraid of parting. ...