Avoid funny jokes

1, the general took a young officer into the bank manager's office, sat down rudely and said to the manager seriously: According to our investigation, several officials deposited the money from corruption in your bank. I hope you can provide me with their information. ?

The manager said quietly. According to the regulations, I can't tell the information of customers to outsiders. ?

General:? Is it? With that, the young police officer picked up a gun and pointed it at the manager's head. ? Count to three, if you don't hand it over, otherwise. . . ? The general threatened.

? One? The general began to count.

The manager said cautiously:? Sorry, we must keep secrets for our customers! ?

? Two?

? Please leave me alone. I have three children. . . ?

? Three?

The manager closed his eyes and broke out in a cold sweat. The general looked at it and said, good boy, you have courage. It seems necessary for me to talk to you alone. ? Say that finish, let his men stand by and leave the office.

The manager opened his eyes and got cold feet. Look at the general, I don't know what will happen. . .

The general went to the manager's ear and said softly, hey, I have a huge sum of money to deposit with you. ?

2. After the leader's entertainment, the female secretary met Pol.ice drunk driving.

The female secretary's breath test showed drinking, but the female secretary firmly denied that the blood test had no alcohol content.

Pol.ice was wondering when the leader suddenly said, isn't it just a kiss? What's the fuss?

The police must be released. . .

3, a deck of poker to go out to play together, playing until noon are hungry.

The king said that someone should get something to eat. As a result, you pushed me and I pushed you fifty-four. Finally, Liu Xin said, I suggest that Sanshe get something to eat!

Mei Huasan jumped up and shouted, why me? !

Liu Xin said: plum blossom three lane? !

4.ABC three people chat.

A asks B:? Do you have a car at home?

b:？ No?

A said to c:? Look, I said he didn't have a sedan chair! ?

5. Xiao Ming: You know, every card has a story, such as a princess, cursed by a jealous mother, turned into a bird and branded on the card. Just kiss it and push it down on the card table, and it will become a princess?

Fish head is dizzy: get out of here! /Really?

So he took out the paper, kissed it and pushed it to the card table.

Xiaoming:? Hu! ?

6. The Zen master sits in Yuntai and meditates every day, rain or shine.

An admirer asked the Zen master why he had to sit for four hours every day. What was the mysterious method?

The Zen master said indifferently:? Turn over a new leaf in the first two hours and wash away all the dust. ?

? What about the last two hours?

? My leg hurts and I can't stand up.

7. Mineral water fell in love with instant noodles, and took the courage to confess to her, but was ruthlessly rejected.

Mineral water q:? Why?

Instant noodles disdain to say:? Oh, my God, just you? I'm not hot at all, and you still want to hit on me! ?

Xiao Ming's family has a little hen, which lays eggs in a fixed place every day.

Later, it married a rooster.

From then on, the place where the little hen laid her eggs was no longer fixed. Being here today and being there tomorrow is completely irregular.

Xiao Ming was in a hurry, so he went to ask the little hen why.

The little hen said, marry a chicken and follow it.

9. fortune teller:? Sir, I'm good at reading bones. Won't you have a look?

Jellyfish: Go away! ?

10, a little boy was walking down the street with a steak on his head, and a passerby asked: Why do you put cows on your head?

The little boy replied:? I am a fork. ?

1 1, earnestly persuade Xu:? Women are a disaster, you see, business is the downfall of da ji; Zhou was praised and knocked down, and even Daqin was subverted by your wife. ?

Xu Xian got a fright and ran back to ask the White Snake Empress if it happened. Mrs. White Snake is very angry. It was Liu Bangxian who provoked me! ?

12. The princess was taken away by the devil, and the prince who saved her never appeared again. Only a little frog accompanied her. In the dark days, it encourages her and helps her. Finally, they tried to defeat the devil together. The princess who is free wants to marry the little frog. The little frog said, but I'm not a prince.

The princess said: it doesn't matter, even if you can't be a prince, I will accompany you.

With that, the princess became a beautiful little frog.

13. In ancient times, there were two brothers, the old rich and the young poor.

Brother asked brother:? How can you be so rich?

The brother replied:? I killed pigs and sheep and sacrificed eight feet to the land god. That's why I came today. ?

The younger brother told his wife what he said, and the wife said, there are two stools and eight feet in our house, which can be regarded as pigs and sheep offering sacrifices to the earth god. ?

The younger brother thought it was right, so he raised his stool and worshipped the land god devoutly.

The land god was furious and scolded: How can I eat shit?

The landlady came out for a walk: forget it. I can't eat, but I can stay and sit down. ?

14, the rich man called the debtor and said: If any of you can't pay your debts, you can swear to me and tell me how to pay them in the next life, and I will burn the IOU and stop paying them. ?

Those who owe less say:? I would like to become a horse in the afterlife and ride for my master to pay off my debts. ?

The rich man nodded and burned the iou.

People who owe a little more say: I would like to be a cow in the next life. ? The master also nodded.

The person who owes the most says: I would like to be your father in the next life. ?

The rich man was furious, and the man quickly explained: I owe too much debt, and I can't pay it off by turning an ox into a horse, so I'd rather be your father, be a big official, make a fortune and leave you a lot of money to enjoy, so that I can pay you back.

15, the rich man came to collect debts, and the creditor's wife came out and said: You came at a bad time. My husband just went out. ?

The rich man said, yes, I met him outside the door. He told me that the money is at home, you go to my wife. ?

At this time, the debtor rushed out of the house and scolded: nonsense! When did I say that?

16, in ancient times, there was a county magistrate who liked to brag, and all his subordinates obeyed Nuo Nuo. One day, the county magistrate flew into a rage and said to his subordinates, Yesterday, a group of robbers came after me. The bandit leader cut my mount in half with a knife, so I had to run away on the first half of the horse. ?

Subordinate to see the county magistrate blown out of focus, unable to echo, all silent with your eyes open.

The magistrate was angry and asked loudly, What, you don't believe it?

A subordinate whispered:? My Lord, your horse's ass is gone. Where can we shoot it? ;