Ultimate joke

The ultimate joke: On the way home, my wife said that men are incompetent at multitasking. There are no two things that men can do at the same time and women can't. When I backed the car into the parking space, I smiled and scratched my eggs.

Look, that will be your future wife.

1, there was a rich man's son, who was thirty years old, still didn't know anything and lived on his father in a muddle.

One day, his father asked a fortune teller to tell his fortune. His father is fifty years old, and the fortune teller calculated that he could live to be eighty years old. He estimated that he would live to be 62 years old.

Hearing this, he began to cry sadly and said, My father can only live to be eighty, so who will support me for two years after I am sixty?

2. wife:? Honey, you talk to your buddy first, and I'll go shopping alone! ?

Husband:? Honey, the sun outside is poisonous. Remember to bring an umbrella! ?

Buddy:? Yo, you're very worried about your daughter-in-law! ?

Husband:? I'm worried about money. You don't know how expensive cosmetics are now! ?

3. I saw someone in the circle of friends send such a sentence:? I only cherish two kinds of people: those who are willing to lend me money and those who will care about me. I am very happy with both! ?

Think about how much money I borrowed from my friends and never paid it back. They must care about me! Sometimes happiness is actually simple!

4. On the weekend, an old couple didn't want to cook. After consultation, they decided to win or lose by playing cards, and whoever lost cooked. Without a card, they agreed to use something from home instead.

The old man played his cards. He took out two hoes and said, a pair of sevens? !

The old woman took out two gourds and said, A pair of eights? !

The old man took out two water scoops and said, a pair of 9s? !

At this time, the old woman ran to the kitchen, took out two hooks for hanging bacon, put them on the table, and said, a pair of jacks? !

The old man quickly took out two eggs and put them on the table and said, A pair of queens? !

The old woman took out two pliers, put them on the table and said, A pair of A? !

The old man quickly caught two ducks and put them on the table, saying, A pair of two? !

The old woman picked up her grandson, put it on the table and said? How many children? !

The old man held the old woman in his arms, put her on the table, sat down himself and said, "Two glasses of GREAT GHOST?" ? !

The old woman felt very funny and laughed. At this time, I even laughed. Bang? Yes, I farted, and she quickly added: Bomb? !

The old man had to give up and cook.

5. Today is Father's Day. I wish you all become fathers.

Not a father,

Want to be a father,

Became a father unconsciously,

Being a father in a daze,

For a moment, I forgot that I was a father.

These measures failed, and when I became a father,

The second marriage forced him to become a father,

I didn't know I had become a father.

I mistakenly thought that the child was my own and became a father instead of others.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Recently, the news of college entrance examination is everywhere on TV and online.

So my little niece asked me: Aunt, why didn't you take the college entrance examination?

I blushed for a moment, and then said regretfully, Your grandfather's family is poor. . . . 〃

Grade gate? Bang "was opened, and my father shouted at me: I don't carry this pot! ?

7. When my father-in-law came home, we blew cows for a long time. He asked, do you have a cigarette?

I shook my head.

He asked again: Do you have any wine?

I shook my head again.

As soon as he struck the table, he said, I wouldn't buy it without you!

I said, if your daughter hadn't taken care of all the money, you think I would be here talking to you for a long time!

He: You. . . If your mother wasn't in charge of all my money, I would come here to gossip for you. !

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