Is being single a sin? It's not your fault, it's parents' internal control.

Parents have very high requirements for their children since childhood, and generally have high requirements for their children's cleanliness, hygiene and safety. They also have high requirements for their children to learn chess, calligraphy, painting and other skills. When they are in love.

But only people in China can invent the word puppy love. It is very unfair that children are forbidden to associate with the opposite sex when they are young, and are forced to enter the intimate relationship with another opposite sex when they are old. They never practice early, but entering this state will lead to many deep-seated problems. We will think that this kind of child's intimate relationship will have problems in the future. In fact, parents hope that his intimate relationship will have problems in the future.

This means: if you can't build a close relationship with others, then you have to stay with me, so I won't feel the anxiety of being abandoned. Someone once said: all love is to be together, but parents love their children to be separated from them. Psychologically speaking, the more thoroughly children abandon their parents psychologically, the healthier they will be. But this requires how powerful the parents themselves are.

Within the scope of classical psychoanalysis, a person's personality develops to the highest point, which is the so-called Oedipus stage. This is an ancient Greek story: Oedipus's father is a king and his mother is a queen. His mother found a fortune teller to tell his fortune when she was pregnant with him. What will happen to the child in the future? The fortune teller made an amazing prediction: children will kill their fathers, marry their mothers and have two children with their biological mothers when they grow up.

The king and his wife were so afraid that when the child was born, they left it on the land of a neighboring country. However, this child may have been born as a prince and was picked up and adopted by the kings and couples of neighboring countries on land. After raising this child, the child took a group of people on the road, met another group of people, and the two groups fought. As a result, Oedipus killed the leader of the other side, married a beautiful woman sitting in a carriage, and had two children with that wife.

When he finally knew that he had done such a heinous thing, he punished himself and gouged out his own eyes. The opera performed on Broadway in the United States has a stills of Oedipus, which can be found on the Internet. It is the tragic picture of Oedipus after gouging out his eyes with his fingers. Many women will feel dizzy after seeing this picture.

The core of classical psychoanalysis is always the relationship between three people, parents and children. This is the psychology of three people. People are born in a triangle full of competition. Take a boy as an example. After he was born, he was integrated with his mother at first, and then he needed to reach an agreement with his father. There is a third person in the world besides his mother. But dad and himself are of the same sex, and there is another trophy in this competition: mom.

If I beat my father too much and beat my mother, it may lead to moral guilt. Because after all, my father gave birth to me and raised me. This is also a law that human beings have developed for so long: you should not beat your father too much, such as killing him and treating your mother as your wife.

But if we don't win this war, Because at this time, you can't get the trophy like mom, and all the little boys have such an idea in their hearts that you have to fight with dad and win with mom; The little girl also has a desire to compete with her mother and get her father, that is, to finally marry her father.

The Oedipus conflict is not the same fate of mankind. Only when mom and dad are bad to their children will the children have Oedipus conflict, that is, they are in a state of wanting to win, but they dare not win.

There are many problems related to the Oedipus conflict. Examination anxiety refers to a person's inner consciousness that he really wants to do well in the exam, but his subconscious mind is afraid that the punishment after the great success we have mentioned many times will be there, so they will not do well in the exam by developing neurological symptoms.

If we meet a child who has exam anxiety and is about to take the college entrance examination, he will tell you: Teacher, if I am not nervous, I will do well in the exam. If you are nervous, you won't do well in the exam. If you are a consultant, tell him: You know this truth, then you are not nervous! He will think that you don't understand his psychological world at all.

Psychoanalysis and explanation can't be made clear to people at once, because we are talking about the subconscious part, which he can't perceive himself.

Our understanding of this matter is this: I want to do well on the level of consciousness, but I will be punished after I do well, so I will not do well. Subconsciously, I hope to have a failed result, so that I won't be punished for gouging out my eyeball, which is contrary to our usual logic.

We are not nervous because you want to do well in the exam too much. It means that you didn't want to do well in the exam, so you put yourself in a state of tension. There are many things that lead to self-attack or gouging out after success.

Being single is not your own fault, but the contradiction in your heart has not been solved. You haven't decided what you want. When you solve the inner conflict, all the problems will be solved.