Crosstalk "Yellow Words"

It's very hot in the dog days in June.

There is a Zhangjiawan in JD.COM.

The old couple are eating in the yard.

Here comes a fly, which is really annoying.

This fly took a grain of rice,

The old man angrily chased Sichuan.

My wife waited at home for three months,

The book didn't arrive, the letter didn't pass,

I hired a fortune teller to do the math,

Mr. Wang said, "If you break it according to divination, you will lose money and make you angry."

His divination is really clever. In fact, this six-year-old is smart not only for him, but also for me. What is the score? Let an old lady do the math.

"Sir, you give me a divination."

"What is it?"

"My old man has been gone for three months, and I haven't heard from him. Do you think it is dangerous? "

"Oh, what did he do?"

"Well, chasing flies!"

"Go after flies? ! What is it? "

"The fly took a grain of rice."

Of course, it is also a waste of money and anger to compensate for the tolls. Whether you can get it back or not will hurt your money and make you angry. This is nonsense. This divination has no spirit. Sometimes the spirit, he

Stupidly, he has a method of divination. Whenever you stand there, he will make you believe him as soon as he talks to you. How to convince him? Look at his methods. This divination pays attention to "spring". What do you mean?

Want a spring? You're the one who divines. I won't do it for you first, but I will arrange it for you first. When I speak jargon, I call it "Yao Chun". Divination pays attention to "playing the spring" and "cheating the spring", but I obviously didn't make it clear to you.

, he don't cheat you! Right? He also has an idea. If there is anything wrong, he can get it back. I thought you said you couldn't take it back. He can take it back. This is the so-called "breaking the chain". get through

If you go to the overpass, there will be divination. As soon as this stops there, he will say it. "This person when at home, this when outside, this business. Oh, dear! This man, your "Tang Yin" shines.

Wealth is booming, and there should be wealth in May this year ... "There are three words at the bottom: right? But he won't say this "right". Why not? He was afraid that if he finished, people would sue him.

Say "no"! Then what should I do? He didn't say, he said slowly, "You should have a fortune on May 1 this year ..." He didn't go on, he watched. If that person really has some money,

He can see the money, and if he can't, he can see it. what do you think? His method is called "there is a fixed eye, but there is no blink of an eye." If you are right, this person is of course in a daze.

Children; If you are wrong, you should roll your eyes (learn to roll your eyes). That's not true. He saw it!

"You should have a fortune in May this year ..." He looked at you and then at this. He knew it was wrong, so he quickly recycled it. He has something to say:

"... oh, by the way, you should have a fortune on May Day, but you haven't got it yet, have you? ”。

Hey, this is not nonsense!

"Dude, you don't look so good. You should be prosecuted in August this year ... "

There is also a "yes" under it, not to mention that he looks at that one and rolls his eyes at that one.

"Ah, you should go to court, but with the help of a noble person, you have been shelved. Maybe you don't know now? "

Don't say he doesn't know, not even him! He'll say that. Therefore, divination is not true. Ah, stop it, there is a diviner, oh, no.

But spirit is also the spirit of divination. Spirit is spirit. This thing is ridiculous. How does it work? Let me tell you something. Not now, during the Daoguang period of the Qing Dynasty, there was such a time.

Things. Not far from Beijing, there is such a village dozens of miles away. There lived a farmer in this village. This man is surnamed Huang and nicknamed "Toad"! The man said, "This is new.

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2 crosstalk: Huang.

, the somebody else all call this nickname? Ah, because he looks particularly like this, with two small round eyes, upturned nostrils, a big mouth and a pockmarked face. He says black is not black, yellow is not yellow, and his face is so green.

. So, this nickname is Yellow Toad! Don't look at this man's appearance. He is very capable, eloquent and can observe his face and color. After studying for a few days, he looked through the imperial calendar and neighbors when he was free.

Anyone who marries, hires girls and digs graves will come to him. What are you doing? He would look at the imperial calendar and let him choose the date. He is also willing to mind his own business. If he says a few words,

Some people really believe in him, and they simply think of him as Voldemort! Although he is so clever, his wife is a burden. What happened to his wife? Gross. What's the matter? The root of the disease is severe cold.

Legs! Two cold legs, if you are not sick, you can still use them to do some farm work. Once you get sick, you can't leave the ground. This disease still happens frequently. When will this cold leg disease break out? If the weather changes, you will make a mistake.

. My leg hurts on cloudy days, and it hurts on rainy days. In order to catch up with it, when his wife was ill, he had to cook when he came home from the fields. Why? His wife can't go to the fields! After a long time, he

Urgent and annoying. He also found such a trick. Whenever his wife says her leg hurts, alas, it will be cloudy again tomorrow. If it hurts badly, it's ... rain! He has everything.

Guard against. On one occasion, his wife stayed up all night, and the next day Lao Huang went to work in the fields. God, it was sunny, but it was sultry and hot. Old Huang, just put this hemp fiber

Put it on! Go outside with a hoe and hemp fiber. His wife saw:

"Old huang, crazy! The weather is really nice. Why are you wearing linen clothes? Take it off! "

Lao Huang ignored her and went out. His wife looked at it: "Hey! What's going on here? Let you take it off!

He took a step forward, which means pulling Lao Huang. He just took such a step, "Ouch!" My leg hurts. "Ouch ..." Squatting there. Laohuanghui

The first time I saw music:

"Hey ... why am I still wearing hemp fiber? Your leg hurts, doesn't it? You've been making trouble all night! Won't it rain today? What if you don't wear hemp fiber? "

His wife is also very happy. They were very happy, but when Lao Huang went out, people in the street were very happy. Why?

"Ah, second brother, why is this yellow toad? Begging for rain? Hey, it's a nice day. Why are you wearing linen clothes? Take it off! "

Old huang justly:

"Don't take it off, you'll need it later!"

"What are you doing? What's the use for a while? "

"What's the use? It's raining today! "

What he means is that his wife's leg hurts. Isn't it nonsense when everyone hears it is raining? There are no clouds in the sky. Where is it raining? If you don't believe him, go to the fields.

Went to work. This work has been done for over an hour. Hey! Suddenly I looked up and saw a black cloud coming from the south and coming at me like the bottom of a black pot. In a short time, it was laid, ga.

A thunder, wow ... it's raining cats and dogs. Everyone ran home, drenched like a chicken. Look at Lao Huang, wearing hemp fiber, shaking every step as if nothing had happened. Hey!

"Old Huang, you are really good!"

Old Huang loves to blow the atmosphere:

"Why have two down son? By the way, I don't even know it's raining on cloudy days, especially so! "

What does he mean? My wife's leg hurts. Can I not know? Everyone has a look, wow, Lao Huang is really capable! A few days later, I got up early in the morning and it was cloudy.

It's so cloudy that Lao Huang just wants to work in the fields. Ask your wife first:

"How's it going? Does your leg hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt."

"It doesn't hurt, ok!"

He came out with a hoe and took a look. Well, many people are covered with hemp fibers.

"Hey, Lao Huang, go home and get hemp fiber!"

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3 crosstalk: Huang

"Take that? Strange and troublesome! "

"annoying? Don't take it for a while! "

"Get what rain? Don't worry, it won't rain today. "

Go to work in the fields. Listen, everyone: it didn't rain? It's so cloudy, it won't rain, will it I just hoed the ground for two ridges, so I came to have a look. Oh, my God. Hey, Claude.

The fog cleared and the sun came out. Old Huang, you are still cynical:

"Why, hemp fiber is white? I told you, don't listen, look, it didn't rain. "

"Old huang, hey, strange, that day we were caught in the rain, you slowly twist home in hemp fiber. Hmm? Today, we all hold hemp fibers and have leucorrhea.

What do you mean? How do you know if it will rain? "

"Ah ..."

How dare he say, "My wife's leg hurts, so I understand." . How do you say this? Everyone asked again, and he was excited:

"Oh, I, I figured it out in Zhuge Liang's pre-God class."

Wow, hello, everyone. It's amazing that it can be calculated whether there is rain or not in the early stage of Ma Shen class! It's good to call here. Everyone shouted at him. Come on, there was a marriage before.

Daughter-in-law, girl, come to Lao Huang and show him the imperial calendar; Later, I heard that he wanted to teach Zhuge Liang before the horse. Well, whoever loses something will come to him. Zhang's daughter-in-law is lost.

An earring. Here he comes.

"Uncle, I lost my earrings. Your pre-competition training is very clever. Please help me calculate! "

How can he say: I won't, I will treat it as a rainy day, and my wife will follow me! He can't say!

"Oh, I'll do the math for you."

He pretended to be a madman;

"Earrings are lost, aren't they? Ok ... I didn't lose it! "

"Uncle, you said you didn't lose it, but it's gone."

"no! I told you to go home and find it. You'll find it beside the jar and behind the water tank. Go! "

Daughter-in-law Zhang left and went home to look for it, next to the pot. Oh, I really found my earrings. How does his divination work? Old Huang has a hard time, his heart

I think: she is a daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law cooks and carries water every day, except beside the pot table and around the water tank. He said these two places. Well, I really found it at the kitchen counter.

Wow! Now it's louder. One day, Li Er's sister-in-law came to see him. Li Ge has been gone for more than three months, and I haven't heard from him. Sister-in-law Li Er is here:

"Huang Ge, you see we have been gone for more than three months and haven't written. I'm really worried. When do you think he will come back? "

"Ah, divination!"

"ah!"

"Well, good"

Pretend to pinch your fingers, he doesn't count first, talking to Li Er's sister-in-law.

"Hey, sister in law, you also is really of, what can I do for you to send someone to come to me? Why do you have to come by yourself? Look at your heavy body, how can you get it?

Get out! "

"Ah ... never mind, I'm only nine months old."

"Oh ... well, come out! If you don't come back this month and don't write, you must come back next month. Go ahead. "

Wow, you must come back next month! What happened? I really didn't write it. I'm really coming back next month. It worked again. How did he work this time?

How does it work? Lao Huang is hard to think. As soon as he heard that he was pregnant for nine months, well, he thought of this truth. This woman is pregnant, and his man knows it.

, he knows! If you don't write for three months, just wait to come back and serve the moon! Hey, I'm really coming back next month. It's great to call here, so I'm screaming. Not only yelling at him,

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4 crosstalk: Huang

He can pinch and calculate, so he named him "Huang". One spread to ten, ten spread to hundreds, hundreds spread to thousands, thousands spread to thousands, villages spread to townships, and townships spread to counties. From one hand to the other, to Beijing.

Hey! Old Huang should get rich. Something has been lost in the Beijing Palace! What is missing? Daoguang lost a priceless night pearl! This night pearl is so beautiful.

Lose it, Daoguang is in a hurry. In the Qing Dynasty, Daoguang was the least angry emperor, not only the least angry, but also a greedy emperor. Do the math, his dragon robe, they all fight.

Try to fix it! So stingy. It would be great if such a night pearl were lost! I immediately sent the nine magistrates to the temple, severely reprimanded them and gave them three days to find the night pearl.

Can't find the night pearl, demote and fine them!

Three days? I can't get it back in five days! What's the matter? It's not easy to catch stealing the night pearl! Who is it? You said that Cui Ying, the eunuch manager, stole from it.

Where can I find this thing? Nine magistrates looked outside the palace, but of course they couldn't find them!

I can't find it in three days, so what? Demotion and pay penalty. If you can't find it in five days, you will be demoted to the Golden Temple and fined. To put it bluntly, I haven't found it for a month and a half. Not good.

Yes! I haven't found it for a month and a half. These nine magistrates have all been demoted to the Imperial Horse Circle to walk their horses!

On this day, Daoguang was annoyed and flew into a rage in the golden palace: "I raised my troops for a thousand days and used them for a while." The night pearl has been lost for more than a month. If nothing happens, what should I do? "

What happened? Murphy said, do you all want to walk your horses? "

Everyone was scared when they heard it: hula! Kneel to a large place, there is a poem called Lana Rong, kneeling half a step forward:

"Long live your honor, I heard that there is a fortune teller named Zhuge Zhou outside the front door of Xijiang River. This person not only divines divination, but also "rounds the light".

If you want to find him and explain the whereabouts of the night pearl, we will know! "

Hearing this, the emperor said, "Come on!" Tell Cui Ying, the eunuch in charge, "Go outside the front door and look for Zhuge Zhou. Go into the palace and count the whereabouts of the Pearl at night and find it!"

Cui Yingri grinned with anger. How come? The night pearl is his inside man. Heart said: this assistant minister is old and glorious. Do you kneel well? You're out of it.

What do you mean? "Its art is like a god", spirit! Come here and find out I stole it. What should I do? But the emperor issued an imperial edict, and he had to find it. No, ride a horse! Bring a follower

I found it. When I arrived at the Xijiang River, I asked. The first door, the one in the north of the road, went to the front and took a look. Very good! There are three white Chinese fir pillars with Yang Liuzhi's son tied to them, and a white note that says "I'm sorry to bring this bad news". one

Ask, Zhuge Zhou is dead! Hey, Cui Ying is so happy! All right, tell the emperor. Hearing this, the emperor said:

"If you die, find someone else, find someone else to calculate divination, and be smart!"

"hey."

Look again! Once again, I came to the mill head factory and saw a sign hanging at the door of a life museum: "Liu Tiezui".

Cui Ying dismounted and came in.

"Can you calculate divination?"

Liu Tiezui, look at this style. ...

"Ah, I can do divination."

"Is it invalid?"

"Did you see my name not posted? Liu Tiezui', because I'm Kouga with an iron mouth, and I'm a diviner! "

"Well, really smart?"

"Ah, how clever!"

"So ... see you later!"

The soothsayer looked, where is this snoring in broad daylight? Tell him ling, he "see you later", what's wrong with that!

How did he know? Cui Ying dare not look for the true spirit. Yes, his head has moved.

No, find someone else. I found another one. There is a "Kong Liming" pavilion on Qianmen Street. You ask there, it is also a kind of spirit! "See you later!" He went out again.

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5 crosstalk: Huang

Here it comes.

He pondered: No! Quan Ling, what should we do? Oh, by the way, don't look for the pavilion of life, look for the divination pavilion on the overpass. Yes! Find a hexagram stand and ask:

"Is your divination invalid?"

He also said spirit. It's all about the divination pavilion. Not working? Who can't tell? What does he eat? I asked several divination booths, and they all said they were smart. Look for wow, wow, but you can go north.

I searched for three days in Beijing, searched all the divinatory symbols stalls in Beijing, and didn't even find one who didn't leave! What should I do? On the fourth day, when I went to see my boss, I was bored: I looked everywhere inside and outside the city, right!

Xinma rode out of the city with his entourage and the reins. After walking for dozens of miles, I was hot and tired and came to a village.

"Come on, have a rest!"

When I got off the horse and saw a child under the tree, I asked:

"Hey, do you have a fortune teller here?"

"Yes, this door!"

Ah, it's Huang's door. The child is so sharp.

"Oh, great!" Go inside.

On this day, Lao Huang was at home. What is he doing at home? I'm worried about there. What is there to worry about? His wife's leg hurts again. It's going to rain again. For a while, he

We have to move firewood and things into the house, please! It's really annoying here. After such a long time, ah, Cui Ying, the eunuch's manager, came in.

"Can you calculate divination?"

Hearing this, the old huang said:

"Ah ... I ... I will ..."

"Is it invalid?"

This question is invalid, and the voice is quite loud. Seeing his style, Lao Huang said to himself, Where can I go for this divination? Simply tell the truth!

"My divination ... alas ... my divination ... alas ... is useless."

"hmm? Hey! I've been looking for it for a long time, but here it is! Okay, okay, oh, it's useless? Is it really invalid? "

"Alas ... I really can't!"

"Oh, come on, come on, come with me!"

"Where to go with you?"

"When I was in Beijing, the emperor's pearl was lost. You have to calculate! "

Hearing this, Lao Huang: What? Divination for the emperor. Isn't this nonsense? Don't say the calculation is invalid. If you say the wrong word-the crime of turning around, then where is it? Say it quickly:

"... the master ... you ... don't understand, I forget it, it's useless! "

"Nonsense, spirit is not for you! Go away! "

"Sir ... my divination ... is useless!"

"It doesn't matter whether it works or not. I'm telling you, even if it doesn't work, I'll put in a good word for you. What does it matter if the money is gone?

If you don't go, you disobey orders. There is action outside the noon gate! "

"Oh, no charge!"

I thought: if you don't go, then you will die. If not, you can give them some money and blow them out. ...

"Well, ... I ... Can I go?"

"Don't waste time! If you don't go, you will disobey orders. Go! " Without asking for anything in return. Let's leave now.

"Hey ... I'll go, I'll go ... you look after the house at home."

"Hey, look at this ... it's not bad luck. My leg still hurts. Look, are you leaving now?

"Oh, no, don't go? If you don't obey orders, your leg will still hurt. Oh, yes, I took hemp fiber! "

Cui Yingri, look:

"bothersome! The weather is so good, what are you doing with hemp fiber? "

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6 crosstalk: Huang

"hmm? ..... No, don't worry, you can use it, it's raining today! "

He is thinking that his wife's leg hurts and it will rain today. Cui Ying didn't care too much.

"Ah, let's go!"

Take him to Beijing and arrange to stay in an inn. Lao Huang, I can't eat or sleep. I'm so sad!

"How do you calculate this thing?"

In the middle of the night, well, wow ... it's raining cats and dogs. Lao Huang thought: It's raining, don't ask, my wife has leg pain at home, alas, I ..

And let important people catch it. This master is killing me. I said it was useless. I have to come; He said, give two money out, where there is such a cheap thing? Calculate divination for the emperor,

How do I calculate? All right, throw away the night pearl and let me find it. Where can I find it? Well, if it rains on a cloudy day, I can still work it out-that's not good either! I have to bring my daughter-in-law here.

-This thing is looking for the luminous pearl. How to calculate? Give it to the emperor tomorrow. Where can I ask him to find it? By the stove? Behind the tank? Is there a water tank in that palace? This is not fatal!

I'm sad, but I hate it. Who do I hate? I hate thieves who steal beads. He hates it in his heart. Sitting there in a hurry, his mouth full of words:

"The thief is wrong, well, who dare not steal you? Why steal the emperor? If you knew you stole it, would you live? Besides, this gentleman

This is not right. I said my divination didn't work. If I don't come, it's over. You begged me to come. Come on, come on, I'm coming. Can you live? "

He means that you urged me to come, so I came. Can you live if I don't exercise? If I don't work, you will be guilty of dereliction of duty, and you will live.

I can't. This is the meaning of his heart, pointing to the outside:

"I'm coming, can you live?"

Well, this sentence has ears through walls, and someone heard it. Who is it? Cui Ying, general manager. Why did he come? Hey, he arranged for Lao Huang to go to the inn, and he went back to the office.

After dinner, I ate and drank happily: Oh, forget it, I will give the emperor a divination tomorrow, and if I can't guess, I will kill him, which is none of my business. Hey, this bead, I can't commit a crime in my life.

! Hey, well, he doesn't look like a capable person. Can a capable person look like this? Happy!

I am very happy here. Wow ... it's raining outside. When it rains, he is alert in his heart. No sooner had he opened the door than it began to rain cats and dogs.

Hmm? No way, his divination didn't work? It doesn't work. Why is he wearing hemp fiber? How did he know it was raining today? Oh, it's not "a smart mind has a smart mouth, and a smart mind has a smart mouth."

Real people " Pay lip service but not pay lip service. Tomorrow, I will go to Jinxitang and do a calculation. I will point out that he is the one who stole the beads! All right, I'm done! Hey, this is unbearable, no ... I have to listen to the news!

Then he came, and no one knew he was coming. He quietly came to the outside of the Huang family. He just stood there listening.

. When he came, the first two sentences meant the past, and this is what he said:

"Hurry up, hurry up! I am coming, are you alive? "

He also pointed out. Cui Yingri: Huh? "Hurry up, hurry up, I'm coming", here he comes; Can you live? I ... I can't live!

He thought it was me! Oh, he's ... okay. ...

You'd better listen again. He wouldn't listen. As soon as he was afraid, he pushed the door and came in, and he knelt down.

"Ah ... this ... fortune teller forgives, fortune teller forgives! "

Lao Huang was shocked. When he saw the manager kneeling here, he heard that "the gods forgive, and the gods forgive". Lao Huang can sense motive. Look at this manager.

Straight duo spray, also don't know what's going on, he can only sink a voice:

"Hey, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, get up and say, get up and say, what's the matter, you?"

"Ah ... oh, the fortune teller will forgive. You are so clever. There you are. I ... I can't live. I know you're right. This bead is good.

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