Dr. Wu Jun: Children attack elites from the bottom, and the elderly at home have these three common characteristics.

Speaking of Dr. Wu Jun's resume, they are basically "other people's children" in the eyes of China's parents: all top schools (Tsinghua High School, Tsinghua University, Johns Hopkins University ...) and top companies (Google, Tencent ...) have become famous experts in natural language processing and search; Then I can write, especially output, and books are published one after another; Parenting is also "amazing" ...

Birds of a feather flock together, and naturally there are many elites around. According to Dr. Wu Jun, there are many children from rural areas or bottom families around him, who have achieved the promotion of social class through hard work and become the envy of all people in society. He contacted the old people in his friends' homes and found that they had three common characteristics.

From these characteristics, our parents can also learn from them and let themselves grow up before they want a "chicken baby"! What are the common features?

First, first of all, the atmosphere, cheerful, not haggle over every ounce, not seniority.

CCTV once filmed a documentary "Mirror", in which a child's confession was impressive: I am a mirror, and my face can show how loyal I am to my parents, and how similar I am to them both in appearance and heart.

Family is the first environment for shaping children's personality. When the old people at home are cheerful, don't haggle over every ounce, don't care about old age and death, it shows that they have relatively open-minded values and a correct outlook on life, and they can look at many things with a normal heart, which can also be passed on to their children invisibly, so that they can have a more positive world outlook. At the same time, children are free to develop themselves because of fewer restrictions.

On the other hand, the elderly in many of our families are obsessed with the success of their children, but they are narrow-minded and even rely on the old to sell the old. They always want to impose their values on their children and ask them to listen to everything. They may not have thought about it: if children listen to their parents, how can they break through the family background, make progress and become the social elite envied by their parents?

Although as the saying goes, "If you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer", in this era of rapid social change, the more terrible problem in education is that parents have been imprisoning their children with the thoughts of the previous generation. How do they meet the future in 20 years?

Second, although my education is not high, I have a strong desire to learn, and I am willing to try new things and accept new things.

Dr. Wu Jun also gave an example:

Once, an old man who used to live in the countryside for a long time and now went to the United States to visit his children said to him, "You (referring to Wu Jun and his children) are not as young as you used to be. Take care of yourself, pay attention to your diet and eat less red meat. "

Dr Wu Jun was surprised at his last sentence. The old man has been living in the countryside. How does he know that he should eat less red meat? This is the advice given by American general doctors. Many old people in China think that eating mutton in winter is a great tonic. So Dr. Wu Jun asked him how he got this common sense. He said that after coming to the United States, the doctor gave him new dietary advice, which was different from his experience in the past few decades, but he accepted it when he felt reasonable.

In this regard, Dr. Wu Jun concluded that whether a person is willing to accept new knowledge depends on whether he has an open mind, not his previous education level.

It is precisely because parents have an open mind, strong curiosity and are not complacent that children will be impressed by life and constantly explore and try new things, which is also one of the indispensable qualities for a person's success.

Third, although those old people are not materially rich, they will continue to give spiritual support and encouragement to their children.

The old man above, when his son was working hard in America, kept telling his children not to worry. Whether his children stay in the United States or return to China, they are very supportive and never ask them for money. Children who grow up in such a family are lucky because they can have a good starting point.

There was a heated discussion among parents before: excellent children come to collect debts, and stupid children come to pay debts. It is said that excellent children will fly away, and stupid people can stay with their parents. Many parents even spit out that if I knew he was so far away from me and I was too old to take care of me, I wouldn't have trained him so well!

Aren't these parents contradictory? On the one hand, I have been a "chicken baby" since I was a child. I hope that my children will have a good future. If they have a good future, they will abandon their children and only care about their careers and ignore themselves. The child is in a dilemma in this situation and doesn't know what to do!

In his book Knowledge, Dr. Wu Jun also emphasized that many parents in China need to grow up.

Yes, it is not for children to mature, but for parents to mature first. Parents watch boring TV programs and play mahjong every day, but force their children to study. It is conceivable that children are unlikely to read good books. Parents are complacent and have no curiosity, and children naturally muddle along and do not like to explore; Parents' thinking is still in the farming era, and it is difficult for children to stand out in the business world.

It's not that it's all parents' fault that children don't become elites, but in the process of children's self-development, if parents can be boosters, not obstacles, it's the greatest luck of children, and the future of this family must be bright.

Jefferson, the father of America, often said that we should believe in young people and the future.

The child itself is magnified. If you want your child to become an elite in the future, you must first become an elite-thinking parent, be yourself, believe in young people and believe in the future!