What is the Hakka marriage custom?

In the past, young Hakka men and women could ask a matchmaker to introduce their marriage after they were sixteen. Generally, the man's parents entrust the woman's home as a matchmaker, and some women's homes let the matchmaker visit the man's home first.

Look at the girl: two men and women talk through the central media. If both sides are interested, they agree to "see the girl."

Write Geng Tie: After both parties agree, they should inform each other of the date of birth. When you go back, please ask the fortune teller to "check the eight characters". If the eight characters hit it off and don't collide with each other, write a Geng post (common name wedding list) and put it on the incense table. If there is no writing on the wall within three days, the marriage is settled (if the eight characters don't match, the man will return the Geng Tie to the woman's house).

Fill the red list: also known as "opening a red wedding post", or talking about bride price. The man's parents, clan relatives and matchmaker go to the woman's house together and draw out the bride price that the man wants to give to the woman's house. Some red lists should also include gifts for husbands, such as hats, silver flowers, clothes, shoes, socks and so on. In the process of opening a red bill, the two sides will bargain and finally finalize it through negotiation. After the red list is opened, men and women will exchange rings, handkerchiefs and other tokens. Finally, the man came to the woman's house and went back after lunch.

Engagement: also known as "big tie", that is, to formally confirm marriage again. Young men and their parents are going to the woman's house to deliver pig's head, fish and meat. , as well as the woman's parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and grandparents will appear. After lunch, girls will come out to meet and call each other "parents" and "parents-in-law" and "mother".

Butler: that is, the woman goes to the man's house to see the family, some in front of the "big tie" and some behind it. In addition to girls and parents, the woman's aunt and sister will go. More than a dozen people, large and small, don't bring gifts, even if they bring a little, the man dare not pick them up.

Date selection: After the marriage is settled, the man should ask the fortune teller to choose a date to go home, including the date and time when the bride goes out and the time to go home. In addition, the date when the woman cuts the red skirt and the man makes the bed should also be chosen at the same time. Usually one month before marriage, and the man will give money for the bride price. Hakkas like to use "nine" as the ending of the bride price, which is the homonym of "long" luck.

Send vegetables to the bride's house for betrothal gifts: one or two days after the bride passes by, the man's house should ask the clan to send the betrothal gifts and fish, meat, poultry, noodles and other things specified in the red list to the woman's house by more than ten people, and bring the betrothal gifts and furniture back to the man's house when they come back. Among the Hakkas in Guangdong and overseas, there is still a unique custom of "vegetable marriage". When Hakka daughters get married, parents will seriously tie some auspicious vegetables, such as celery, garlic, leeks and so on. One by one, they use red ropes or strips of red cloth as dowry to express their good wishes to their daughters-in-law. More interestingly, Hakka people also use "everlasting grass" as their dowry custom. Evergreen grass is a kind of wild grass, tied with red rope, married to her husband's family, hung in a bamboo basket at the head of the bridal chamber, and planted in a vegetable garden the next day to show its roots.