Those regrets that can never be made up.

It was late at night and there was silence.

Suddenly, without warning, I thought of them-my sister and grandmother, and tears filled my eyes instantly.

From senior three to senior two, they all left me in just a few years. Where the hell did they go? Is it a legendary paradise, a legendary dimension, or a legendary reincarnation?

Why is the whereabouts of people after death only a legend?

More than ten years ago, I often dreamed about them in my dreams, and their voices and smiles remained the same. Although I woke up with tears, at least, we could meet in a dream.

The little poem I met by chance many years ago: Dream is a silk/shuttle/impossible meeting, and I will never forget it. Yes, even a dream meeting is good when the missing can't be resolved!

But after more than ten years, they have all gone far away and don't even dream often. I can't even remember their faces. Just when I remembered, my heart was still cramping and my tears were still flowing uncontrollably.

I want to touch their smiles, listen to their voices and call them kindly ... but I can only cry alone in the dead of night and can't mention them in front of others. They are scars in my heart that will never heal.

I still remember when I was a sophomore, my sister happened to be in the sixth grade, and suddenly cried and said that her neck hurt when she slept at night. Mom and dad didn't know what was going on, so they took her to the local doctor and took a lot of medicine, but it didn't get better.

Rural people are backward in thinking and don't think there will be any big problem with neck pain. When they saw that the doctor's medicine didn't work, their parents believed in superstition and found a lot of earth. This dragged on for half a year, but I didn't expect my sister's condition to get worse instead of getting better.

As soon as the evening arrived, she cried loudly with a sore neck. I didn't feel sick at that time. I thought it was because she was too delicate to stand any pain. She cried and made noise in the middle of the night, which kept my parents awake. My parents worked so hard during the day. So, I always scare her, saying that the monster will come if she cries again. And turned off the light in the room to punish her. Every time she turned off the light, she cried even harder.

Later, when her parents felt something was wrong, they took her to the big hospital in the county for examination. I still remember the day when they came back, their faces were dark and they sighed. I learned from their chat that my sister had cancer.

At that time, I was about to enter the third year of high school, and I already knew about cancer from biology books. I was shocked at once! Read books and surf the internet over and over again, desperately looking for evidence that cancer can be treated! -But I didn't find anything!

My parents took my sister to a big hospital for surgery. After coming back, my uncle comforted us and said: The operation was very successful. I suddenly raised the hope that cancer could be cured! I also saw that in those days, my sister seldom shouted pain, but she could jump and jump. Even when I came back from vacation, I picked up a pomegranate and cut it for me. I was really happy those days.

But it didn't last long. Not long after, my sister began to shout pain again and lost weight bit by bit.

I clearly remember that when I finally got along with her, she was as thin as a bone and had no meat at all. She was lying in bed, motionless, with a drain tube inserted in her body.

As soon as I saw her, tears jumped down my eyes. I'm afraid she will be sad. I quickly dried my tears and took out candy and bread from my schoolbag. I asked her, "Can I give you candy?" She shook her head: "I can't eat." I said, "Do you eat bread?" She nodded, and I fed her bread bit by bit. Seeing her struggling to swallow bread, my tears welled up several times.

I never imagined that this was the last time I talked to her. The next morning, before waking up, I suddenly heard my mother crying. I suddenly woke up and went downstairs-my sister died. ...

I just stood at the door, like an unconscious corpse. I didn't move or cry, only tears flowed downwards. ...

How I regret, why didn't I stay with her all the time yesterday? How sad and lonely she should be when I left last night. Maybe she still has a lot to say to her sister. ...

How I regret that I didn't take a year off school like my brother and stay at home with her for the last time. I didn't get along very well with her in her last days. ...

How I regret that I didn't comfort her well in those days when she cried, and I always scared her. In those days, how painful and fearful she was! I can never forgive myself!

For a long time after her death, I always had the same dream that she fell off a cliff. I tried to reach out and hug her, but I couldn't. She disappeared from my eyes ... when I woke up, my heart was empty.

Sometimes, I dream that my sister died, and I cry very sadly, but suddenly I remember that she hasn't left yet, and she will still shout at me when I come home from vacation: "Sister!" " She will still take out a small sausage from her schoolbag and hand it to me and say, "For you, I have eaten!" " "I woke up the next day with tears on my pillow.

At that time, no, until now, how I long to dream, dream, dream about her, let me see if she has grown up in my dream. I heard her call me in her dream: "Sister-Sister-"

However, I don't even dream anymore.

Grandma died when I was a sophomore.

That afternoon, just after class, my father called and said, "Your grandmother left." I stood by the phone booth, but I didn't cry.

I stood there for a long time, recalling the last time I left home to come to school. Grandma sat next to the hut and said to me, "I may not be able to do it this time." I was very sad at that time. Unexpectedly, grandma's words got a response. I'll never see my grandmother again! At this time, my tears came suddenly and violently.

Grandma is sickly and has been taking medicine for many years. I'm swollen after taking medicine and injections. Sometimes people who go home don't understand, so they say to their grandmother, "Your old man is fat!" Grandma can only smile: "Yes! "

Somehow, grandma loves my granddaughter very much. Every time she comes home from vacation, she is very happy and always brings me delicious food. For example, knowing that I like her hot spinach best, she always cooks more for me. For example, leave a few big sweet potatoes, and when I come back, I will say, "I'll cook them for you." Grandma doesn't know that I never like sweet potatoes, but every time I eat at least two sweet potatoes happily in front of her, because she will be very happy.

In the second day of junior high school, our brother and sister were playing at home, and grandma was at home. Suddenly a fortune teller passed by our house. Grandma woke him up and pointed at me and said, "Give my granddaughter a life." The fortune teller talked a lot, but I don't remember the rest clearly, except that he said, "This child is very kind to his grandparents and is a noble person in your family." Grandma smiled and was very happy. I think it's amazing, too: he can actually figure out that I am the best for my grandparents! Now that I think about it, there is really nothing magical. A bunch of grandsons and grandmothers tell my fortune. Can't he guess a thing or two?

But I always remember what the fortune teller said. I secretly said to myself: I must be good to my grandparents!

I remember once, grandma asked me to go shopping with her. At a stall, grandma took a fancy to a coat and liked it very much, but she thought it was too expensive, so she only bought another one. At that time, I made up my mind: when I can make money in the future, I must buy grandma clothes she likes!

It's a pity that she died before I could make money or be nice to her.

How I wish my grandmother were still here, so that I could see for myself whether what the fortune teller said was invalid.

But grandma, where are you?

The tree wants to be quiet, but the wind will not stop.

What's more painful than when you finally know or have the ability to be nice to someone, but she's gone!

How many times have I seen my sister still dreaming? I took her all the way to play and tried my best to be nice to her!

How many times, I dreamed that my grandmother was still there, and I bought her my favorite clothes and watched her grin!

However, everything no longer exists. They all disappeared in the long river of time.

It's like reaching out and grasping in the air, hoping to seize time, but catching nothing. In the days to come, emptiness and loss will fill my heart.

If life were a fairy tale, how wonderful it would be! We can distort time, make up for regrets and keep people and things we deeply miss.

But life is just a performance that can't be replayed without rehearsal.

Lost people and things are gone forever, even if you miss the tide, even if you are lonely as the sea, even if you are heartbroken, even if you regret it!

Those irretrievable regrets have grown in your heart since then. On a sudden night, sadness grows in your heart like weeds!