Copywriting joke

Copy paragraph (78 selected sentences) 1. Cold Monday, braised Tuesday, steamed Wednesday, fried Thursday, fried Friday, happy spices, leisurely wine, I will cook a blessing dinner for you this weekend, and I am willing to enjoy it happily. 3 drunks come to enjoy the moon. Drunk armor said, "There are two moons in the sky." Drunk B said, "There are three moons in the sky." None of them agreed with each other, so they asked drunkard C to be the referee. Drunk C said slowly, "You. What do you say? " 3. A sleeping party in the boys' dormitory lasted until three o'clock in the morning, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " One day, my husband asked me, "What are you going to do if I die?" "I said," shopping for dinner with my best friend continues to be embarrassing. "Then I asked him," What will you do if I die? " He said savagely, "Go shopping for dinner with your best friend. "5. Lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey, colleagues should be diligent and have no temper, and friends should have a runny nose, so, dear, wipe your nose quickly in the new year and have a clean New Year! 6. Yesterday, my friend invited me to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young men around a big washbasin, in which all kinds of hot pots were dishes! There are two more in the washbasin, which is heating up quickly! Should I admire your creativity or courage? 7. When my friend got married, the host invited me to the stage and said, "Today is your good brother's wedding date. Why don't you come up and say something? " I am a little excited: "Then order sweet and sour carp and braised pork ribs. "8. The company worked overtime until midnight, and everyone was fighting with their eyelids. A girl sighed: "I really want to be a cause now." "When people asked her why, the girl said," Just a person lying flat on the big bed. " The words sound just fell and a male colleague next to him muttered, "Sleepy. "9. It is difficult for men: they will make money and are afraid that you will have a mistress; Do not make money, afraid of weaning children; Get married, (Bi Dushe) afraid that you will regret it; Don't get married, lest she regret it; With children, I am afraid that I have no money to support; Don't have children, for fear that you will be left unattended when you are old. It's hard for men. 10. I'll throw my mobile phone in the toilet. Poor, no money to buy a mobile phone, salvage, dry, continue to use, and even found that the network speed is much faster than before! 1 1. The leader asked me, "What can I do for you after work? Invite you to have dinner together? " I said; "good! No problem! " . The boss turned to his secretary and said, "Xiao Liu, order another fast food." They are working overtime tonight. " 12. If you have a lot of homework, you can play cards with your paper: "Math for children", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" I can't afford it, I can't afford it, I run first in English. 13. According to the latest research by scientists, 100 people took part in the experiment. After each person drank 20 bottles of beer, they all became very talkative but lacked logic, prone to crying and irritability, impulsive behavior, decreased driving skills and gained weight. So scientists have come to the conclusion that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen! 14. Once my best friend drank too much and accidentally rushed into the men's room. In front of the panicked face, the goods pretended to be calm and shouted, "What are you afraid of?" I didn't bring my ruler ~ ~ "15. Late at night, my husband didn't come back. The daughter is anxious to call her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, maybe something will happen!" ""16. Busy, busy, difficult to make money, annoying, spending money crazily, working hard for a month, spending it all in a few days, or eating the old money when the performance is sluggish. Struggle for decades, just to get a bride. I wish you a happy life. My career is booming and my wallet is bulging. 17. The child came to his mother crying, and her mother asked, What's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed. 18. I met Brother Kun when I went to the toilet. Brother Kun was polishing his shoes. He was still swearing and asked with concern, "What happened to Brother Kun? Who made you angry?" Brother Kun complained, "Mom, children nowadays are really clingy! Tired of it! " The landlord was shocked: "Aren't you single? Where did the child come from? " Brother Kun smiled strangely: "Newborns can't!" 19. Making money is as quiet as a virgin, spending money like a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; It is hard to make money and spend countless money; Making money is eternal, and spending money is a romantic number. In fact, if you think about it carefully, why do you want to make money without spending money? So I hope you can make more money and spend more! 20. A frog called the priest and asked about his fate. The priest said, "Next year, a young girl will come to meet you." The frog jumped up happily: "Oh, really? Was it at the prince's wedding? " The priest said, "No, it's in her biology class next year." 2 1. Waiting at the bus stop in the morning, there was a man and a woman standing next to him. They were chatting affectionately when the woman suddenly said, "Are you well developed?" The man said, "am I not well-developed?" 22. I booked a couple set meal with a best friend and went to the restaurant and was told that only couples can enjoy it. My best sister grabbed my hand. Turn my head to my mouth and just take a bite. Then he said to the waiter, "Who told you that the couple must be a man and a woman!" " "I instantly petrified! 23. On one occasion, several colleagues went to the United States, went to the supermarket to buy things and discussed them in Jinan dialect. An American came up and said in standard Jinan words, "Are you from Jinan? "Sweating violently, it turns out that this foreigner is an American descendant and stayed in China during the war. His colleague asked him, "How is your English?" The foreigner patted his thigh and said, "English is too fucking difficult to learn!" " "Ha ha, what's so funny. 24. Actually, from a lady to a woman, that is, from a girl to a mother, I thought I was a lady who spoke as softly as a mosquito. Now, the mother of two children took the bus yesterday, and a girl next to her wanted to get off. I said it several times, but the driver didn't hear me. My face turned red. I couldn't help shouting. Someone got off the bus and opened the door. The door opened immediately. I didn't even realize it when I was a man. 25. Someone cursed in the office: The director counted a ball! The director just came in: I am a ball, what are you? This man has a flexible mind: we count the hairs of the ball and unite closely around you. 26. Sorry, I accidentally deleted the phone book! Are you Shen Jinbing? Or Liu Mang or Qin Shou? Is that Mei Renxing? If neither, then you must be a pig! Pig head! 27. You are simply wonderful! If you don't understand, you can ask you questions. In case of danger, you can rely on yourself for self-defense and put it in your home for decoration at ordinary times ... You are really a multifunctional and super fat encyclopedia! 28. I had dinner with a buddy and suddenly called him to go on a blind date. The introducer said that the girl is very good-looking, with big eyes, double eyelids and oval face. Dude came back after half an hour. I asked why, and he saidno. I said, why don't you have big eyes and double eyelids? He really has a oval face, big eyes and double eyelids, but the tip of oval face is upward, upward, upward. Doctor: "I want to give you a prescription, but why can't I find my pen?" The patient carefully reminded: "Doctor, didn't you put it under my arm?" 30. The college entrance examination is coming. I want to tell you that you must apply for Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai. The school is not important, and neither is the major. Anyway, everyone will find a job, and postage is the last word! Save postage and dress yourself up. Creating a genius by your own face is your only way out! Then find a male ticket, the requirements are not too high, as long as you have money. 3 1. On the train, two people sitting next to each other chatted. First of all, my idol Ronaldo made a lot of money through football. Second: We are on the same team, and I also play football. One: You are wrong. I am a surgeon. 32. My girlfriend and I said, "Well, it will be enough for us to live in Siping meters in the future, with a 2×2 bed and a TV hanging on the wall. Let's get along, don't you think? " My girlfriend glanced at me: "I don't care about the size of the house." I just want to know if you can sleep when you get home. " 33. Chat with a girl and talk about sex. I said my cousin graduated from a famous university, but he has a car and a house but no girlfriend. She asked why. I replied that my brother was scary and scared all the girls away. She called me a pervert. I want to know why my brother's ugliness has something to do with me. Why did she scold me? 34. Will your parents eagerly turn to you every time there is an English conversation on TV and ask you, "Do you understand? Can you understand everything? Can you read all the subtitles without looking at them? " 35. I want to hold you in the palm of my hand, afraid of breaking it; I want to hold you in my mouth, afraid of melting; Then there are only two choices, holding you in my arms or keeping you in my heart. One of our own, can I give you a suggestion first? 36. One day, a bull met a snail. The scalper sarcastically said, "They are all called scalpers. Why is the gap between being a scalper so big? ! "The snail said slowly," Yes, we have our own house since we were born, and you still live in that shack! " "37. The teacher asked the students to write a proposal about tuition fees and grades. He wrote all his life: pay the tuition fee with Alipay, pay it at the beginning of school, give the test results after the exam, and then confirm the receipt. A good evaluation depends on you. Teacher's comment: I think so. 38. Several families get together for dinner in the evening. Drink it. A said: my wife has gained n Jin again, and she is not as red as before. B put down the glass and said, if it doesn't work, change it. Provoked a wife to glare at him, and b said unhurriedly, if it doesn't work, change the scale. When we were young, we didn't guess. I sing and you dance. I can sing 200 songs and you can dance 200 dances, so people affectionately call me 200 songs and you 200 dances! 40. Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang your ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased." Tong Tong said, "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'? 4 1. There are two people who know the rules of football better than anyone else. A said, I have watched many football games! There is nothing I don't know about football! Really? A said: of course! B said: Then tell me how many holes there are in the football net. 42. In spring, the flowers are overflowing; In summer, there is enthusiasm when the sun is shining; In autumn, the harvest is no longer depressed; If I give you more grass in winter, you won't be cold. Ha ha! I wish you happiness! 43. Zhen Xuan went to the roadside to buy pancakes. Zhen Xuan: "Auntie, this bit of broken green is like falling into a girl's eyes and spreading out in the sun. It's very refreshing. Refreshing your mind is excellent! If you have the heart to bake and suffer, you will be exhausted and anxious. Isn't it very disappointing? " Aunt: "Speak human words!" Zhen Xuan: "Don't put onions in pancakes!" " 44. At lunch, I heard that there was a murder case in our community the day before yesterday. The reason is that a young man in his twenties hooked up with a landlady in his forties and was discovered by her husband. As a result, the landlady and her son beat someone to death in their own home. Recently, I often go to the lazy place opposite the company to eat ribs rice. In order to get close to us, the boss pointed out Amin Dow to our brothers, saying that in the future, you should use the selling point first, come directly after work and eat at the table. Yes, I tried decisively. As a result, people arrived and the meal left! 46. Tell you a few quick ways to relieve summer heat: The best and coolest way to relieve summer heat is to look in the mirror, look at the balance of the bank card and pinch your stomach. Look at the invisibility of your sweetheart QQ. Is my heart cold now? 47. Bone hyperplasia went for lumbar X-ray. Nurse mm came over and asked me to stand by the machine. It was just the two of us in the room. MM whispered: Take off your pants! I was shocked. It's a good thing I wore boxers today, or that pile of hair scared you to death. 48. Elder sister Xiong Haizi is in the second grade of primary school. She likes hitting other children at school. Once someone else's parents made trouble at school, his brother-in-law apologized and said to let the children go back to have a good education! Other people's parents said: "My child told me that if your child doesn't beat him for a day, he will be just like the New Year!" 49. Son: Can I have a little brother? Mom: no, your father is very busy now, and he has no time to help his mother give birth to a little brother for you. Son: Why don't you ask your neighbor's uncle for help? 50. The flowers are red and the grass is green. I am sincere to you. The sky is blue and the sea is deep. You can't do anything without you. 5 1. On this day that belongs to women, I have something to say to you, which I have always wanted to say to you, and that is-I have two lives: one is to be born, and the other is to meet you! I take a bus in the morning. It's a little cold. I have a cold. I am standing next to a person who is catching up on sleep. I suddenly sneezed and hit him in the face. He rubbed his eyes and said to himself why it rained. I turned my head away in embarrassment. 53. I put happiness in the "tube", health in the "bar", sweetness in the "million", happiness is accompanied by "getting rich", and happiness is carved into "red" to make you happy every day! 54. A village head raped a peddler and a witch. As soon as she reached the bottom, the witch said, If you come in, you will die. The village chief was busy quitting, and the witch said, you can't live if you go out. The village chief asked the witch what to do. The witch said, going in and out will keep you safe. 55. When male and female colleagues quarrel, male colleagues can't hit female colleagues. Male colleague: Women can't say anything except you. Female colleague: three legs and one mouth can't catch up. Then the team leader smiled, and then everyone laughed. 56. There is a sign on the roadside to lift the speed limit by 40 kilometers. The coach asked: What is this sign? The apprentice said in a daze: No parking! The coach stared: What do you mean there is another one in it? Apprentice: 40 cars are not allowed to stop. 57. In an alley, a beautiful woman greeted me: Handsome boy, go in and play for a while. What moved me was tears. After all, after more than 30 years, someone finally admitted that I was a handsome boy and a beautiful woman. If I have no money, I will follow you in. 58. Differences between men and women; Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, delicate and short. Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd! 59. A customer angrily ran into the tailor's shop, pointed to the fashion designed by the shopkeeper for him and said, "I was standing on the street corner yawning, and two messengers stuffed the letter into my mouth!" " 60. Marriage: poor family, primary school education, rural hukou, three thin and one acre of broken house, and a wife who has a cold pot and a hot stove. Never leave your mouth all year round. I want to hold hands with my girlfriend by text message today. Would you like to? 6 1. Appreciate your natural and unrestrained expression, calm eyes, infatuate with your lofty demeanor, admire your broad mind and open mind, admire your heroic spirit of being aggressive, and prefer your roar and madness when chasing Lv Dongbin! 62. I wish I were a wing bird in the sky, because the air pollution is too bad; Make branches on the ground again, and deforestation is not reliable; People in the world should be happy, and environmental protection should come first! 63. I have only been in love once in my life, but this feeling has left me with lifelong pain ... "Why, the woman you love married someone else?" "No, she married me." 64. In fact, in my heart, you have always been a particularly patient, charming, fighting spirit and dedicated person. The most important thing is that you work hard ... sorry, I typed the word "bitter" too much. 65. When the wind blows, the clouds are carefree; When it rains, the stream laughs; When it snows, red berries are in bud; When flowers bloom, bees and butterflies are around; When I miss you, I am smiling. I don't feel distressed when I miss you, but I am happy when I love you! 66. A gentleman came back from the barber shop, dressed very cool. When he opened the door, all the girls exclaimed: Cool Brother is coming! He scratched his head embarrassedly: Where! Where! Just a cool hairstyle. It happened that the teacher passed by and said solemnly, I want to pay for a trouser head! 67. A medical college student asked the librarian, "Are there any latest books and periodicals on anatomy?" "Anatomy is even more advanced. Have there been any new changes in human bones in recent years? " 68. Beauty is a woman's passport. It is obviously a sugar-coated cannonball, but men are dead set to please her. A woman who lacks visual effects is obviously a good medicine. Because of the bitter taste, men often can't make up their minds to marry her. 69. The sun shines in the sky, and the scorching sun smiles at me. The bird says, why do you get up so early? I'm going to military training. It's not good to be late. The instructor scolded me and stood in a military posture. It would turn black when I went back at night! I wish those who have received training can complete the training safely! 70. The shopping mall held a promotion and advertised "buy a refrigerator to send air conditioners". Someone bought a refrigerator and waited for the air conditioner from the mall. The staff of the mall said, "Sir, where is your air conditioner? We can send it back to you! " Yesterday, my friend bought a mimosa in a plant shop. Because it is the first time to plant this thing, it is very novel. He touched it when he was free. As a result, he called this morning and said that mimosa was dead. My friends, you guessed right. He died after playing for a day. 72. Pilot: Control tower, I'm out of gas. Tower: Please keep calm, slow down immediately and adjust the fuselage to the best gliding angle. Can you see the airport? Pilot: I will stop at Nanjiping? I just want to refuel. 73. One day, while walking on the road, Shantou found a car hit Maruko, and he rushed to save Maruko in desperation. As a result, there is another food in the world-pizza. 74. When I went out that day, I met a handsome little brother riding a cross-country motorcycle, which was very fast and heroic. I thought young people were really tough and a generation of heroes. Before I finished thinking about the ending, I saw the motorcycle being thrown away. 75. Go to bed early and feel better; Smile more and get along with colleagues more; Frequent text messages and deep friendship; Chatting online, talking with Hu Kan in the sea. Work is not nonsense, make a lot of money. When you meet a beautiful woman in the street, keep your eyes open and don't be beaten! 76. It's as if I was still, as if I was awakened from a deep sleep, and I started to move. Are you really in front of me? Do you really breathe, talk and laugh in front of my eyes? 77. The wonderful thing about teaching Chinese characters to foreign students is that it is crooked, but it is not straight. A prisoner is a person who is locked up! The teacher asked the students: What is the symbolic explanation of the word donkey? ! An international student replied: Donkeys are horses with hukou! 78. Dialogue between pig and puppy: Brother Dog, what do you want to do in your next life? Dog: I want to be a man. What about you? Pig: I still like being a pig. A few years later, the dog's wish didn't come true, but the pig learned to read short messages!