When a child says "Mom, I'm afraid of ghosts", what is he afraid of?

No sooner had the bedroom been turned off than the already confused child suddenly opened his eyes. Looking at his frightened face, I knew-this time, I failed again.

A few months ago, I don't know where my child heard it. "There are ghosts under the bed and in the toilet."

Since then, he has one more requirement when he sleeps: he can't close the door and let some outside light in. The reason is that ghosts are afraid to enter places with light.

We all don't know where his theory came from, but this doesn't prevent him from stubbornly defending his views.

No way, I can only go back to my old job and lie in bed with him before going to bed every day, tell him a story, or listen to music with him.

I think I must find out why children are afraid of ghosts. But I read the online literature and found that the deep reason why children are afraid of ghosts is that they are afraid of the dark.

If so, the big problem that children dare not sleep alone can be solved!

What happened? Let me explain it to you in detail.

Do you think children are afraid of ghosts?

Actually, children are afraid of the dark.

The amygdala is called the "fear center" of the brain, which is responsible for dealing with people's emotions, and fear is one of them.

A brain science researcher at Monash University once did an experiment on the relationship between light and emotion, and found 23 healthy young people aged18 as experimental objects.

Everyone has to undergo fMRI scanning (functional magnetic resonance imaging) for about 30 minutes.

During this period, they will be exposed to three kinds of light: dim light (10 lux), medium light (100 lux) and dark light (less than 1 lux).

It is found that moderate light can inhibit the activity of amygdala more than dim light.

Moreover, light can also strengthen the connection between amygdala and ventromedial prefrontal cortex.

The ventromedial prefrontal cortex plays a very important role in dealing with fear and suppressing emotions. When this part starts to move, it means that we will not be so afraid.

The child didn't want to close the door and sleep, saying he was afraid of ghosts. In fact, once they are in the dark, their amygdala will be ready to move, and these fears, fears and worries will follow.

Therefore, he is afraid of the dark rather than ghosts. The reason why he thinks that "ghosts won't come in when the door is opened" is actually because the light inhibits the activity of the amygdala, so he won't feel so horrible.

Can pretending to be a nightlight solve this problem?

I practiced it the night I saw this paper.

My child was really satisfied to see the light of nightlight, and slept soundly that night. After he fell asleep, I went in and turned off the night light so as not to affect his sleep.

However, there are many parents' feedbacks on the Internet, and nightlight alone is not enough, because every time some children see the shadow of the cupboard, they think there is a ghost hiding there.

Therefore, although light has eliminated some children's fear of ghosts, it has not dispelled their imagination of ghosts.

I checked some information later, and there are two more reliable statements:

In addition, at this time, the child's imagination is particularly rich, and it is easier to be unrestrained and imagine things more horrible.

At this time, it is useless to tell children "Don't be afraid, there are no ghosts in this world". So what is useful?

Let children face their fears.

Talk about ghosts with children, take children to personally confirm that there are no ghosts, let children experience them, and ease their fear of ghosts.

In this regard, I found many effective golden ideas from other families on the Internet, and we can learn them together.

Not afraid of ghosts trick one: evil spirits become cute treasures

@ Qiangqiangma

Since listening to the story of Zhenzi told by her classmates, Qiang Qiang has been afraid of all kinds of things, and even sleeping at night has become a problem.

I checked some information and found that it is a good way to let children draw ghosts.

So, I instructed Qiang Qiang to draw ghosts. He painted a horrible picture, and the real Virgin appeared again.

I took a deep breath and drew one myself, but it was cuter than Qiang Qiang. Then, I asked Qiang Qiang to modify my version, and after that, Zhenzi became more and more like Pleasant Goat. ...

I said I would give Zhenzi a new name, Xi Zhen Zhen. Then I use the name "Xi Zhen Zhen" to tell stories and draw pictures for my children:

Then I quickly added a river to the painting.

Then I drew my happy and chaste parents, brothers and sisters. Everyone was holding hands and laughing happily.

Looking at Xi Zhen Zhen, Qiang Qiang's face is no longer so serious.

That night, I practiced needlework that I hadn't used for more than ten years. I took apart a furry toy and made a simple version of "Xi Pearl Krabs".

The next day, I deliberately teased Qiang Qiang with "Xi Pearl Krabs" and joked with him. I also made up an anecdote about Xi Pearl Krabs and laughed.

On the third day, Qiang Qiang stopped shouting fear of ghosts.

Not afraid of ghosts trick 2: catching ghosts and exploring the road.

@ Zhihu User

When I was about six years old, I was particularly afraid of ghosts.

When I told my mother about it, my mother grabbed the flashlight and said:

Say that finish, she pulled me out of the door. In order to realize my mother's ambition, catching ghosts has become our special night project.

However, after scratching, the taste changed.

For example, on a spring night, my mother took me to the grass to catch ghosts. But before long, my mother began to teach me what wild vegetables are and how to eat them.

On summer nights, my mother took me to the lotus pond to catch ghosts. Before I get serious for two minutes, my mother will teach me how to stir lotus seed cores and catch some shrimps.

In autumn night, we catch ghosts in the forest full of yellow leaves. Still nothing, but we did pick up a lot of mushrooms.

On winter nights, we wrap ourselves in zongzi to catch ghosts. But every time I go out, I will have a hot sweet potato in my hand, a ghost in my heart, sweet potato in my mouth and a snow-white scene in my eyes.

My dad, on the other hand, sneaks behind us every time he catches ghosts, and eats two bites of sweet potato when I'm not paying attention in winter night.

Although the ghost hunting operation failed, I am really not afraid of ghosts.

Not afraid of ghosts trick three: beat the ghosts out.

@ yiyiba

My 6-and-a-half-year-old girl has been crying for some reason recently because she is afraid of ghosts.

At first, we thought the child was shouting to get our attention. Later, she was afraid to go to the toilet and sleep, so I thought it was time to do it.

So, one night, my daughter and I had an in-depth exchange on "ghosts". I asked her what kind of ghost she saw. Boys and girls? What are you wearing? How did you get in?

After my daughter answered them one by one, I solemnly told her:

I cooperated with the child's mother, she went out to make preparations, and I carried the child around the room like a ghost.

Soon, the teammates were covered with a white sheet and a black plastic bag on their faces, hiding behind the curtain.

I took Yi Yi back to her bedroom. As soon as I opened the curtain, I shouted:

Say that finish, I gently kicked two feet toward the "evil spirits".

My teammates also fell to the ground with great cooperation, and then I let Yiyi kick the ghost twice. The teammates immediately fled the house in a panic. I squatted down, looked at my daughter and asked her:

See daughter nodded, I ask again:

Iraq said:

In order to prevent Yi Yi from being afraid, I added double insurance and told Yi Yi that "dinosaurs can exorcise ghosts". As long as she feels scared and puts the dinosaur at the door, the ghost will not dare to come in.

From then on, Yiyi really never shouted "fear of ghosts" again.

Seeing these three "exorcism" stories, I really have the feeling of "opening a new world" to help children overcome their fears. In addition to IQ online, acting seems impossible to lose.

To sum up, the above three methods can be simplified as follows:

Painting ghosts, cute and humorous, makes children feel that ghosts are not so scary;

In the face of ghosts, children catch ghosts as soon as they say there are ghosts, so that children can verify the fact that there are no ghosts with their own eyes;

Exorcise ghosts, let children have the courage and strength to exorcise ghosts through role-playing.

It can be handled flexibly according to the child's situation.

Besides installing night lights and pointing at ghosts, there is another good way, that is, reading picture books.

Some related picture books help children overcome their fears.

Monster under the bed

It tells the story of a little boy who is afraid of monsters under the bed and sleeps directly under it.

Sleeping alone for the first time

It tells the story of a little girl practicing sleeping alone.

Fear at night

It is about a timid opossum (a primitive marsupial) who always feels that something is chasing it, which causes everyone's fear.

In fact, no matter which method, the first core point is: admit the child's feelings.

When children say they are afraid, don't say "nothing to be afraid of" or "you are just timid".

This behavior of denying children's feelings will not make them braver, but will only make them learn to be silent, learn to endure fear alone, and even lead to anxiety and depression.

The correct way is to admit and accept the child's feelings and follow the child's emotions to find the source of the problem.

Only real experiences and feelings can help children overcome their brains and produce imagination and fear of darkness.

Is your child afraid of darkness/ghosts? How did you do that? Welcome to share in the comments section ~