Kneel for a sketch script! Urgent! ! !

The rooster lay eggs sequel (original)

Author: Xiao Xia (Qingdao University)

Z: Moderator B: Baiyun H: Black Soil

Z: Hello, dear audience friends! Today, we invited two special guests to our Wulitou program, namely, black soil and white clouds who came to our studio from the northeast, but this time has passed. Why haven't they come yet?

B: find the person in charge! Who is in charge? Hurry up!

H: Hey hey, I want to go to the toilet (B)

B: What toilet! Hurry up! (To Z) Are you in charge?

Zhang: Yo! Uncle and aunt are here. Come on, let's give it a big hand. ...

B: Stop! You said that the two people in the reception area were not professionally dressed and shouted "Uncle Baiyun is good, Aunt Black Soil is good!" "I was nasty.

H: Yes, children are not sensible! I told you, your aunt is a famous chicken now.

Hmm?

H: The image spokesman of the famous chicken! This child can't be transsexual just because of our the rooster lay eggs!

B: I'm telling you, this personality problem is a big problem. You must give us some explanations!

Z: (takes a handful of money out of his pocket and counts it in his hand)

B, h: (staring at the hunger for money)

B: Look! This girl is so beautiful, we have to give some face anyway! (h) What do you say? Cooperation!

X: Yes! Look how handsome this girl is! Yes, absolutely!

Like who? (y doubts)

X: I like the four beauties (Y Snickers). Uh, who are the four beauties?

Han Hong, Gao Xiumin, Fat Sister, who else has been to this land?

Xu: There is another one, that is, her! (of danger)

You are so talented!

(X, S high five indicates tacit understanding) (Three people sit down)

Y: Thank you for your compliment. It's the first time I've heard of such four beauties. So, uncles and aunts, can we start recording the program now?

(Cough) You said it was too dry.

Y: Oh, look at my uncle and aunt. It's thoughtless. How about some coke?

No carbonic acid, give me some juice!

X: Yes! Your aunt is losing weight!

Z: What about Uncle?

H: I don't want it. Look, I am holding my breath!

B: (to H) Shut up! (Right Z) You bring him a cool bottle!

Y: ok! I'll get it for you! (y wants a drink next)

S: You don't know how to take the initiative if you don't talk. Tell me.

H: still young

(Phone rings, cell phone) Hello! Yes, yes, I am Baiyun. Yes, male eggs are out of stock these days.

(To the black soil, cover the microphone) He asked why chickens didn't lay eggs these days.

Xu: I told him (answering the phone) that a few little hens from distant relatives came to our house these days, and I don't know what happened. Our rooster was embarrassed and was held there!

B: (grabs the phone) Yes! That belly you're holding is quite big! I just thought of coming to Qingdao to send those little hens back, so as not to affect the yield. I'll take it when you lay eggs.

H: yes! You tell him that wine is old and fragrant, and the egg is big! After a long time in the stomach, they are all good eggs!

Meanwhile, B: OK, OK, goodbye then! )

B: All right! Come on, it's beautiful! I don't see what you can do if our rooster doesn't lay eggs!

H: What's your hurry? If he can't hold on, he has to get off!

Z: (taking drinks on stage) Uncle and aunt. Can we start recording the program now?

B: Record it! (H drinks cold, B stares at H) You put that thing down, and it's not shameful to lose it! Start recording!

Z: Good evening, dear audience friends! (H raises his hand) What's wrong with Uncle?

H: I want to go to the toilet.

B: Why are you so worthless?

H: Then I can't hold it any longer.

B: Take it! The rooster lay eggs, when are you leaving? (turning to Z) Go! Start recording!

Z: Today we invited two special guests on campus, Aunt Baiyun and Uncle Black Soil. Let's welcome them with warm applause! (Applause) That uncle and aunt, you should say hello to everyone first. (B and H twist their heads together)

Zhang: Huh?

B: the applause is not warm enough! (Applause) Well, that's all right. (to black soil) Let you say hello first!

H: Good evening, students of Qingdao University! ..... (hesitating, dragging on for a long time)

B: Good evening!

Z: That's it? Uncle, why don't you seem to have finished?

H: no, go ahead! I'm just a little choked up

B: Hmm! ! ! ! ! (Staring at H) Can I suffocate you? No, can I suffocate you? !

Z: Hehe! That uncle and aunt, let's get started. I just wandered around the campus. Does it feel like there is a connection with the students on campus?

b； With a hook? When did you release the hook?

Author: Xia Qingchao replied to this remark in June 2007-13 13: 55.

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The rooster lay eggs sequel.

h； Yes, I didn't say let's prepare the hooks.

B: How do you answer your grounded phone? Why didn't you tell me about the hook? You said you were a man!

Z: Uncle and aunt, it was my slip of the tongue! I mean, do you think there is a gap between people your age and contemporary college students?

B: No! It seems that we have found the shadow of the past again! (Look at H) Come on, this face is not as beautiful as before! Look at lesbians, just like Changbai Mountain!

z； Uncle, why do you look unhappy?

No, I just held my breath!

B: (referring to H) You ... (turning to Z) Ignore him, he has no culture. Let's move on to something else.

Z: What about your chicken?

B: OK! Please ask questions

Z: I heard that after the last cow planned to leave, there was another rooster laying eggs in your family? Where did you get it?

H: yes! Stealing land from Wu Laoer's house!

B: (covering H's mouth immediately) No, we got the consent of the chicken and gave Wu Laoer the transfer fee! It's a legal chicken!

H: forget it! The day I stole the chicken, I was bitten by Wu Laoer's dog. Look, it's not ready yet!

B: No! The dog (Wu H's mouth) won't let us take the chicken away! He bit me!

Z: (laughs) So how did you ask the chicken for permission?

Our paparazzi were persuaded to come here!

Z: Then who found the rooster that laid eggs?

Or paparazzi! It's a long story

H: that's right This has to start from the last time that rooster was stewed!

hum

Z: Tell me about it, Uncle!

H: ok! Since the last chicken stew, the whole chicken meeting, no, the whole poultry meeting is in a state of sadness and depression! But it will be fine after a while! However, Wu Laoer's rooster still looks abnormal and always looks into our henhouse. At first, we thought they were having a good time and were inseparable buddies! Sadness is always inevitable! But then the rooster stopped eating and drinking! After that, your aunt and I both wanted to know what was going on. !

B: Hmm! I'm worried about Wu Laoer.

What the hell is that?

B: Finally, our paparazzi broke ground! Oh, (to H) say it, I'm embarrassed to say it!

H: What are you embarrassed about? Their backs are hurt!

B: Yes! (High-five) That's it!

Z: So two cocks have an affair?

B: Yes, with the help of paparazzi, I have serialized their love stories on my blog! Welcome everyone to log in!

Z: Although they are in love, how can this chicken lay eggs? How did you find out?

This is where your uncle found it. Your uncle also made a preliminary statistical analysis of the psychological state of this chicken before laying eggs.

H: This chicken is actually more contradictory than our chicken. Think about it, think about it. Two cocks are in love, and the others are exposed. Can they stay with his ex-wife Right? Have a crush on their little hen? But for love, to make their love fruitful, and to commemorate his dead chicken, so ...

B: So he made a firm belief: lay the cock's eggs and let the hen have no eggs! (two high-fives)

H: yes! A famous chicken was born in our family overnight. Since this rooster laid eggs again, the land selling eggs has played the slogan "It's better to have female eggs and seedlings than male eggs and grass"! Drive the hen to the wall!

B: Yes! One day, our hens collectively climbed the "duck rack" and prepared to commit suicide collectively! There are two former brokeback chicken lovers and former model workers who laid eggs. It's also your uncle's fault that they are no longer favored.

H: All right then! Later, your aunt died alone in our family!

What are you talking about?

Z: Uncle, that's not right. Anyway, my aunt is a famous chicken.

Hmm?

z； The image spokesperson.

B: Yes, since another rooster laying eggs was discovered, your uncle and I seized the opportunity, and we started the business of male eggs, and I became an image spokesperson with honor! (b laughs)

Z: Did you make a lot of money?

H: yes! Do you think your aunt has "Iraq" in her hand (b shows Z the diamond ring)? ! !

Zhang: Huh?

H: Iraq! Hmm? Ah! One carat! Straight hair is very expensive!

Z: I heard that the effect of advertising is very good?

H: yes! Let's record this land together The effect is always good! Xiao Yun, let's demonstrate!

B: Why don't you come here? Old hand! (H doesn't stand up) Can you hurry up? !

H: You promised to let me go to the bathroom after the performance! Huh?

What, are you still bargaining with me? ! Come here quickly! (h, come here)

B, H: The rooster that lays eggs, the fighter in the rooster, oh yeah! (with action)

B: Is it reliable?

Z: reliable! (Then H turns to go to the toilet)

What are you doing?

H: I'm going to the toilet. Won't you let me go to the bathroom?

B: Come back and have fun! I counted, 1-2-

H: 3, let me go! (B grabs H by the ear and goes back to his seat)

Z: Uncle and aunt played it so well that it was so vivid! But how did this rooster come out of grief and become a chicken again?

B: Your uncle advised the land!

H: yes! I suggest ... I advise everything! What's wrong with this chicken? He may also want to fulfill his wish for his dead love chicken! So we respect him and fully support him!

Z: How do uncles and aunts plan to continue to develop this chicken next?

B: Don't take the next step! I don't understand now!

Zhang: What's the matter?

H: Cocks can't lay eggs!

Z: Why can't you get out? So he didn't hold his breath?

H: Hold your breath! Just like me!

B: What can I do for you? I just want to go back and get this chicken and see a psychiatrist!

(The phone rings) Hello! I am Baiyun. Hey, what's up?

Say it again! (The phone is disconnected)

Z: What's the matter, Auntie?

H: Xiao Yun, what's the matter with you?

(Baiyun cries) B: The chicken is dead!

Z: double suicide?

H: suicide?

B: Neither!

H: Then what happened?

B: Hold your breath (wipe your tears quickly and catch the black soil) Well, old man, you should go to the toilet quickly. Come on, don't choke!